“I’m sorry, Steve. I really am, but every night this week I’ve gone to bed feeling guilty and I wake up the very same way. Each day this feeling has gotten worse, and I can’t do this with you anymore.”
Steve didn’t respond for at least half a minute, seemingly trying to calm himself down or find the right words to say. “Okay, baby, I know you’re going through whatever it is you’re going through, but we can work this out. I love you with all my heart, and I don’t want to lose you.”
“I hear you, and I appreciate that, but I just don’t have the desire to keep doing something I know is wrong. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life claiming to love God and then sleeping with you. Hoping you’ll leave your wife and child. Hoping you’ll get a divorce and marry me. I just can’t.”
Steve shook his head. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”
As recently as last Sunday, Porsha would have quickly asked him again to file for divorce, but not today. “It’s your wife who you need to work things out with.”
Steve frowned. “And how am I supposed to do that?”
“Pray about it and go to counseling with her.”
“But, baby, I don’t love her. I haven’t loved her in a very long time, and you know that.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Why do you keep saying that? I mean, what is ‘sorry’ supposed to do about any of this?”
“Steve, I know you’re upset, but I can’t change the way God has been speaking to my heart.”
“Yeah, go ahead why don’t you. Blame this lie you’re telling all on God.”
Porsha stared at him. “Why would I lie about something like this?”
“So you can lay up with some other man. Because I know that’s what this fake, holy-roller spiel of yours is all about. I’m not stupid, Porsha.”
Porsha didn’t even bother commenting. She couldn’t deny that Dillon had helped make her breakup with Steve easier, but she was also telling the truth about the way God was dealing with her. Even she didn’t know why He’d decided to shake her conscience as much as He had over the last few days, but none of that mattered. The reason: God didn’t need a set hour or week to do anything. He worked in His own timing, and if He chose to, He did it quickly and without warning.
“So just like that?” he said, speaking louder than before. “You’re breaking up with me and moving on? And you expect me to do the same?”
“I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but I just needed to be honest.”
“Honest, huh? Then why don’t you be honest about Thursday night? You know, tell me the real reason you stopped me from coming over here.”
“Let’s not keep doing this,” she said. “Let’s not keep going back and forth with me trying to explain things and you calling me a liar. Because no matter what I say at this point, you won’t believe me.”
“Yeah, you’re definitely right about that. And it’s all because I know you better than this. I know you’re seeing someone else. I’d be willing to bet every dime I have on it.”
Porsha looked away from him, not knowing what else to say.
“This is what I get for sleeping with some so-called minister. Someone playing with God and then profiting from it.”
Porsha squinted at him. “Really? So you’re innocent in all of this, I guess?”
“I never said that, but you knew I was married, and if you weren’t planning to stay in this for the long haul, you never should’ve started sleeping with me. You never should’ve become the reason that I cheated on my wife.”
“Excuse me? So being an ordained deacon wasn’t a good enough reason for you not to? It didn’t make you think twice about having an affair?”
“You’re impossible,” he said, standing up. “Got me sneaking around on my wife and falling in love with you, and now you’re done.”
“You know what, Steve? I think it’s time for you to leave.”
Steve tossed her an evil look and left the room. He never looked back at her, and soon she heard her front door shutting.
Porsha’s nerves were shot, and she hated that their relationship was ending on such bad terms. She also couldn’t deny that a part of her was hurt, because she did love Steve. But none of that mattered because she also knew she’d done the right thing. She would no longer be sleeping with someone else’s husband, and that gave her peace. She was relieved and could breathe just a little easier.
Chapter 27
Raven turned on her side, watching John sleep like a baby. They were lying closely in his bed, and she’d just given him the best sex of his life. At least that’s what he’d told her, and with the way he’d responded to her—before, during, and after—she believed him. He acted like some teenage boy who was infatuated with his first love, and Raven knew she was close to getting what she wanted. In due time, she would seize total control of his mind, and he would do as he was told. Actually, Raven hadn’t known he was as gullible as he was or that he’d been this taken with her for as long as he had been. She’d certainly been aware of his attraction and strong admiration, but she hadn’t realized how simple he was. Being a nerd didn’t always mean a person was simple or gullible, but when it came to women, John easily identified with a sixteen-year-old.
Raven lay thinking a while longer, mostly about Kane and how he wasn’t speaking to her again, and then she thought about D.C. Thankfully, he hadn’t called her yesterday after service or today even, but she wasn’t taking his latest visit too lightly. She’d known then that it was a threat and a warning, and it was the reason she’d decided it was time to seduce John to the nth degree. Raven still knew, however, that she couldn’t simply ask John to steal money from the church or ask him to do it this quickly, so she’d added on a new part to her plan. She’d decided that the only way to get John fully behind her was to turn him against Porsha. Originally, she’d thought it was Michelle who’d be able to help her oust Porsha from the ministry, which was the reason Raven had subtly begun carving a wedge between them. But for now, she had to focus on getting D.C. his money. She had to tell John whatever it took to make him feel sorry for her.
John moved around a bit, stretched his arms above his head, and opened his eyes. He smiled and squinted at her, and Raven knew he needed his glasses.
He, of course, wasted no time reaching for them and sliding them on. “Where have you been all of my life?”
Raven smiled but then changed her expression to a somber one. “Where have you been all of mine?”
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Everything.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t want to burden you with my problems. I didn’t come over here for that. I just wanted to make love to you.”
“It’s fine. Tell me.”
Raven waited for her eyes to fill with tears and then said, “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” he said, touching the side of her face. “Because it might be something I can help you with.”
This was way too easy, was all Raven could think. “Okay,” she said, sighing and wiping the tears that now fell down her cheeks. “I learned yesterday from a very reliable source that Porsha is planning to take over the ministry. She’s going to push me completely out of NVCC and the entire organization.”
“Oh my goodness. Do you believe that?”
Raven sniffled. “I didn’t want to. Not when I’ve been such a good friend to Porsha, but the person who told me would never lie about something like this.”
“Can you say who that person is?”
“I wish I could, and it’s not that I don’t trust you, because I know I can. But I promised my source that I wouldn’t betray their confidence.”
“I understand, but this is crazy.”
“I know, and I’m really sorry for unloading this kind of drama on you.”
John pulled her close to him, and she laid her head on his chest.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about,�
� he said. “So please don’t apologize.”
“Well, then I might as well tell you the rest,” she said looking up at him.
“What?”
“Porsha and Kane have been sleeping together behind my back.”
“No way. Kane and Porsha?”
“Unfortunately, yes…and I’m sad to say that I haven’t been completely honest with you about something else.”
John looked at her in silence.
“Remember when I told you on Friday that I was tired of pretending that I didn’t want you?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, part of the reason I wanted to be with you that day, right there in my office, was because of how devastated I was. I’d just found out about Kane and Porsha the day before. But please know,” she said, now resting her hand on his cheek, “that my attraction for you is real. And when I told you that I’ve always been attracted to you, I meant it. So can you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive, so don’t spend another thought on it. I can’t believe Porsha and Kane.”
“Well then, imagine how I’m feeling.”
“Did you say anything to them?”
“No, and I’m not going to until I can figure out what to do. I’m definitely breaking up with Kane, though, and I’m eventually going to confront Porsha, too.”
John shook his head and seemed puzzled about something.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I don’t know. Porsha seems like such a nice person, and to be honest, so does Kane. That’s why I never wanted to approach you in the wrong way. I didn’t want to disrespect him.”
Raven had known that John might somewhat question whether Porsha would sleep with Kane behind her back, so she’d come to his house very prepared.
“Porsha isn’t the sweet, holy minister you think she is, and this isn’t the first time she’s done this to me. She betrayed me two years ago, but being the true woman of God I am, I forgave her and became friends with her. We became so close that she agreed to help me start the ministry, but then she became jealous of how successfully I grew the following. Then she became jealous of my relationship with Kane. That’s when I guess she started plotting behind my back to steal the ministry from me.”
“This is awful, and so hard to believe.”
Raven knew it was time to shatter any doubt he might have about Porsha being a whore. “If I show you something, can I trust you not to tell anyone about it?”
“Of course. What is it?”
“Can you give me something to throw on?”
John got up and went into his closet. When he came back, he passed her one of his white long-sleeved business shirts, and she slipped it on and buttoned it up. John wrapped a velour robe around himself and tied the belt hanging from it.
Raven then went over to her leather tote and pulled out a DVD. She’d also made a third copy on another USB drive, which she’d brought with her, too, just in case they needed to watch it on John’s laptop. “Do you have a Blu-ray player?”
“Yeah, right under my television,” he said, pointing toward his armoire.
Raven passed him the disc. “Here.”
John reached for it and turned on the machine.
They both sat down at the foot of the bed and waited for the DVD to begin playing. There was moaning and groaning right from the start, and Raven saw how mortified John was. And rightfully so, because Dillon and Porsha were butt naked and having the time of their lives.
Raven watched more with him and then said, “So you see, I can’t allow a woman like Porsha to take my ministry from me. She knows nothing about running it, and everything will be ruined. We’ll have to close the doors of NVCC for good.”
“Gosh,” John said, holding his forehead with his hand. “This is too much.”
“I know, but you have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone about this.”
John gazed at her with what seemed like total sincerity. “I would never do that to you. I would never betray your trust in me.”
“Thank you for that, because you’re the only person I’ve ever shown this to. Only Dillon, Porsha, and I even know about it.”
“Well, something has to be done. I mean, you can’t allow someone like that to become senior pastor. You can’t allow this kind of woman to just push you out of the way. NVCC is yours,” he said matter-of-factly, and Raven was shocked by how disgusted he was. In a matter of minutes, he’d lost all respect for Porsha, and Raven wanted to pat herself on the back.
“I know, but Porsha has a lot of money, John. A ton of it. And it would take thousands of dollars to stop her.”
“Well, if there’s anything I can do to help you, I hope you’ll tell me.”
“You really mean that?”
“I do.”
“I first have to figure out the best way to handle this.”
“Whatever you need, I’m here for you. And don’t you forget that.”
Raven gazed into his eyes. “You are such a sweetheart, but baby, this thing with Porsha might get ugly. And I don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything that goes against your ethics. Or Christian values, for that matter. Because I’ll be honest, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to stop Porsha. Even if it means doing something I shouldn’t. To keep my ministry, I might have to sin and pray about it later.”
“I don’t blame you,” he said, and Raven wanted to scream with joy. John was making it clear that he would help her at all costs, and from this point on, she would give him as much sex as he wanted. From here on out, she would satisfy him in ways he hadn’t even heard about.
Chapter 28
After Raven had given John all the pleasure he could stand, she’d told him she had to get going. She’d then jumped in the shower, gotten dressed, and kissed him good-bye. Needless to say, he hadn’t wanted her to leave and had found the gall to ask her to spend the night, but she’d let him down easy. She’d explained how they still needed to be careful until she broke up with Kane. The good news, though, was that he was completely on board with helping her get whatever amount of money she needed. He had agreed without much coaxing at all, and what she now realized was how good she was at tricking men and getting them to believe everything she said. Kane, of course, was starting to doubt some of what she claimed and did, but once she paid off D.C., got rid of Porsha, and cut off John, she would make things right with him. She would give him her undivided attention, and if he insisted, she would finally marry him.
Now, though, Raven was in her car heading home and plotting out her next move. First, she would tell John that the simplest way to find her the two hundred thousand dollars would be to transfer it piecemeal from the least-used church accounts. That way, the chance of their getting caught would be next to none, and John could funnel all of it into one new account—an account that would be hers. To be safe, she’d also decided that she would tell him that the funds she was taking were only a temporary loan, and that she’d be paying it back over the next four months. This wasn’t true, but this particular story would also lead him to believe that her “loan” was nothing more than an advance she was taking against her normal income.
But even though she’d figured out that part of her plan, she knew John would need time to make this happen. Which meant she had to convince D.C. to give her a month’s extension. She knew he would still insist that she pay him now, but she was hoping that she’d found the perfect solution. She wasn’t sure he’d go for it, but she was calling him now to make her case.
Raven dialed his number.
“Hey, Rev,” he said. “Great sermon yesterday. You got my money?”
“That’s actually why I’m calling.”
“I hope you’re not still tryin’ to talk me into some petty payment plan, because for the kazillionth time, I’m not havin’ it.”
“Not even if I’m willing to pay you a little more than the two hundred and seventy?”
“Yeah, right. Heifer, you must think I’m a fool.”
&n
bsp; “No, this is real. If you can give me a month, I’ll give you three hundred.”
D.C. laughed the way he always did when he thought she was trying to get over on him. “If you don’t have two seventy, how do you plan on gettin’ me three hundred?”
“All I’m saying is that if you give me thirty days, I’ll get you three hundred K.”
“Make it three hundred K plus you go online and clear Pastor Black’s name, and I might think about it.”
A wave of anger and nervousness swept through Raven’s body. She’d suspected all along that Pastor Black was the reason D.C. had decided to come after her. But when she’d asked him about it, he’d acted as though he didn’t know what she was talking about. Dillon had lied, too, and now he was using D.C. to get the revenge he’d been trying to unleash on her since their divorce.
“Helloooo?” D.C. sang, trying to be funny. “Do we have a bad connection?”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this. All because of Pastor Black?”
“Well, believe it, sweetheart, and you should’ve thought about that when you stole money from him and me. You also had no business makin’ that sick accusation. Pastor Black has done a lot of stuff over the years, but rapin’ women ain’t one of ’em.”
“How do you know that, D.C.?” she asked, just to see what his response would be.
“Because I know he didn’t. I also know you and what a lyin’, manipulative trick you are. You showed who you were nine years ago, and pretendin’ to be some holy pastor at a church hasn’t changed that. You’re just as sneaky and low down as you always were. You should be ashamed to step up in anyone’s pulpit, let alone your own.”
Raven wasn’t sure why D.C.’s words sort of bothered her, but they did. That was only for maybe two seconds, though, because she was still livid about this Pastor Black turn of events.
“So who made you do this? Pastor Black or Dillon?”
“First of all, nobody makes D.C. do anything. I decide what goes on with my business. But if you must know, I contacted you on my own—at first. Because when that video of yours started circulating around, I realized how cocky and dirty you still were. And I decided right then and there that you were going to pay me.”
Sin of a Woman Page 15