by P. S. Lurie
“I don’t know. Her plan is for us to move out of here but I heard as much as you.”
“You heard? Where?”
He looks sheepish. “In the ballroom. When you...”
“Got it.” I step into the hallway. “Which way?”
“To find your sister?”
“No,” I find myself saying. I want more than anything to rescue her but considering President Callister’s army against me and a boy I don’t know if I can trust, I’m better off trying again with a stronger hand. I need back up and have to hope that the people I saw beyond the Fence are my allies, or at least I hope that the adage holds true that my enemy’s enemy is my friend.
“Where then?”
“Away from here. I want to go home.”
1 P.M. – 2 P.M.
Selene
It’s not hard to follow the trail of debris to the Utopia and it’s straightforward enough to orientate myself with where this landmark used to be. In the other direction that Ruskin and Jack headed I can see the fortress up high past apartment blocks and somewhere between us Melissa is leading a group towards the hospital. There hasn’t been enough time for the city to be overrun by the elements and the trees are still pretty although they have lost all of their greenery and the bare branches only add to the blackened walls that took the impact of the ship’s explosion.
I can’t remember anything about being carried through the tunnel into the Middlelands and it was deceptively long as the Utopia is farther than I first thought. A short way past the ship is the arena and to the side of that is the section of Fence where my mother was killed and I tried to end my life, where I short-circuited the digital screen that had falsely projected the deep ocean. Ruskin and Jack buried my mother whilst I was unconscious in the hospital so her body definitely won’t be where I left it but I want to visit the site where she was killed all the same. I don’t have much time and I should focus on trying to find Nathaniel’s corpse but this is important too. Besides, I’m not sure I’m ready for that part so I convince myself this isn’t a delay tactic.
I remember her face when we connected outside of the prison in the courtyard; the steely reserve that she wore when I grew up was still there but it had transformed somehow, from anger to determination in reuniting with me on learning I was alive when she was inside the prison. I’ve spent six months imagining Selma Gould’s life alongside Melissa and Theia in the barracks, attempting to prove loyalty and gratitude whilst hiding Leda and trying to locate me. Melissa explained about their fourth roommate, Harriet, the woman who came to my door and realised who I was on the morning of the second cull. I never saw her again because she was killed in the prison. For the entire time I was held captive in Nathaniel’s apartment, these four women supported each other and became their own family unit. I was sure that my family was dead and Nathaniel was all I had; still, in the most confused of nights parts of my mind twist the truth and tell me Nathaniel was my family.
I battle with that all of the time. Worse, I have to contend with the idea that giving myself to Nathaniel was self-appointed. I don’t want to be a victim but at least that would have absolved any shame in allowing me to have my mind wiped.
I stop as I step on a loose slab of paving, freeing me from being lost in my own head and realise I have walked without taking in the environment, which is a dangerous way to proceed considering this is enemy territory. I reach for the gun. There are no smells from the city devoid of life and I hear no background sounds except for my breathing and the hum of electricity still surging through the desolate roads. I wonder if the streetlamps come on at night, giving an eerie glow to the abandoned streets, much like during our neighbourhoods throughout the first cull. Or the trail of lights from houses underneath the sea.
That’s another image my mind struggles to deconstruct; I can’t remember if the sea glowed that night or if I have added that detail during later dreams and nightmares. I know I imagined it when I was dying at the base of the Fence but had I experienced it before then?
The sun is hazy behind the clouds. It’s cold here but from the way the city has been built there’s no wind-chill and it’s warmer than down in the Middlelands. I swing around, thinking I hear something but there’s no one there.
I could swear someone is watching me but it must be paranoia like when I worried about guards finding me on the streets during the first cull. I know what Melissa would say, that Nathaniel is dead. I’d be grateful for her company right now but I’m alone and won’t reconvene with anyone for another hour.
My feet have carried me on autopilot and avoided the main wreckage of the Utopia and before I know it I have reached the Fence where cement walls surround a long slab of black glass. I walk up to the spot where I shot at the glass and run my finger over the bullet hole, tracing the spider-webbed crack in the screen. Nathaniel was just as surprised when the water flickered and disappeared. Disappointed too, to learn that he meant as little to the Upperlanders as me. We should have both died aboard the Utopia.
Only one of us died that day.
At least that’s what I want to believe.
Nathaniel is dead, I tell myself, but I have to see his body to accept it.
I can’t shake my discomfort that I’m being watched but there’s no one around. I retrace my steps to the spot where my mother died in my arms, begging for my forgiveness, acknowledging all of the wrong she had done and righting so much by trying to save me but instead losing her life in the process. I crouch down and scrape my fingers through the dust that has formed on the top of the concrete.
“Hello princess.”
The voice comes from behind me so I spin around and fire the gun but the bullet travels through the air alone, my own mind betraying me. I’m breathing heavily, only just realising how distressed I am. I want to shake the adrenaline out of me but I’m on edge, my imagination running riot despite no one else being around.
“Nathaniel is dead,” I say out loud, and try to regulate my breaths.
In a confusion of what I really want to find out, I know that I can’t delay it any longer and head towards the ruins of the Utopia.
Melissa
I’m glad I have some of the strongest people in our group around me to bolster my feeling of safety – even if Ronan doesn’t currently count because he is barely able to walk in a straight line – because I can’t shake the fear I feel while walking through the Upperlands. During my year, I was monitored and threatened with punishment and there are no happy memories that being back here brings.
I’m frustrated with Selene for going off on her own and all I can do is hope that she doesn’t encounter anyone and she’s back at the meeting place at the agreed time. This has been more strenuous than anything I prepared her for and I’m not sure how she’ll fare clambering over the wreckage and searching for a carcass that resembles Nathaniel, let alone if she’s emotionally ready for it.
Travis takes the lead but I call to him to stop and let the rest of us catch up.
“Stop dawdling,” he says, glancing at Ronan and thinking that the boy is slowing us down and we’re wasting our time on him.
Ronan retorts with his familiar line. “I’m fine.” It’s the least convincing recital yet.
“I worked out where we are,” I say. “It’s far to the hospital. At least thirty minutes each way.”
Samuel joins in. “That’s barely enough time.”
“If we walk. We’re forgetting this isn’t the Middlelands.” I go over to the line of cars and inspect a few. I spot what I want in the third one and go to open the door when Travis elbows the passenger-side window and smashes the glass. I ignore his brutish behaviour and open the door without hassle. “The keys are in the ignition.”
“Oh.”
“Anyone know how to drive?” Tess asks.
Ronan opens the driver’s door and climbs in. “I do.”
Travis joins him in the front and Tess, Samuel and I squash up in the back seat. Travis pretends to be unfazed by this
but the other two remark on being inside a vehicle, something they have never done before. The car starts without hassle and Ronan drives us towards the hospital under my navigation. He has to swerve every once in a while to avoid deserted cars in the middle of the road.
“It’s louder than I realised,” Tess says. “Anyone could hear us.”
Ronan sounds weary as he replies. “That’s the least of our problems.”
I look up ahead as the force of the Utopia’s wreckage has spread to the road and blocks the route. It’s impossible to gain any speed because of the bumps in the roads. Ronan cautiously rolls the car over fragments of rubble until we’re almost ground to a halt.
“Stop,” I say. “We’re not getting anywhere.” What I don’t tell the others is that from street level I’m disoriented once more because I’m not used to travelling by car. I step out of the vehicle and look around me, especially above ground level, until I spot something out of the corner of my eye. “We’ll never circle around the wreckage in time. New plan.”
Everyone follows and I hurry to the end of the block and up a few steps until we pass through the entrance to a train station.
Travis grunts but he’s actually impressed. “Maybe you’re not just a pretty face after all.”
We quick foot up the stairs to the platform of the elevated train line that wraps around the Upperlands in a loop. There happens to be a train sitting in the station and I look at the tracks. Towards where the Utopia was, the lines are no longer clear of debris but in the direction of the hospital we have a clear run. I can just about make out another train in the distance, maybe four stations away. “There were three trains in operation, circling the Upperlands. Twelve stations.”
“Where’s the hospital?” Samuel asks.
“Three away. My route from the barracks to the hospital passed through here and two more stations. We should run along the tracks. That will be the fastest route.”
“Ronan?” Tess asks. I look at him; he’s not going to make it that far without passing out first.
“I have a better idea,” the boy says.
“You seem to know everything,” Samuel replies.
“You don’t know the half of it.” Ronan swaps a cloth over for a new one. The cut isn’t healing.
“Train it is,” says Travis, also noticing the loss of blood.
“If it works,” Ronan adds.
Tess looks concerned. “What about others on the platform?”
“We should have a clear run as far as we need to go,” I reply, confidently.
We push past the barriers, not stopping to worry about the identification panels that I used to scan into. Travis, Samuel and Tess look amazed by everything we see and I have to keep reminding myself I was the same when I was first Rehoused into the barracks.
I push the button outside one of the train’s doors and they open so electricity shouldn’t be a problem but the line might be down considering it passes close to where the bombs detonated. If the train doesn’t start then we will have to walk and hope that Ronan isn’t heavy. I notice the fortress in the background and wonder about the army of children preparing to head into the Middlelands. By now, those on the other side of the Fence should be some way towards the sea and preparing to head out on the boats.
I direct everyone into the first carriage whilst Ronan enters the driver’s compartment.
“Hold tight,” I say, half hoping that my confidence will have some bearing on the likelihood of the train starting up.
I sit on a padded bench taking up the length of the carriage whilst Tess grabs a looped handle that hangs from above and Samuel leans against the door, inspecting the outside in case anyone comes our way. Travis stands cockily in the middle with nothing to support him.
After a minute, electricity surges easily through the train and it begins to roll out of the platform. Travis hadn’t expected it and stumbles but steadies himself. It’s disconcerting that the doors don’t close but at least we’re on the move. I want to comment on my disbelief that Ronan was able to get the train functioning but there’s so much more to achieve that it wouldn’t be prudent of me to rest assured that fortune favours us just yet.
Ruskin
For a few contented hours, my family was relaxed in our apartment in the Upperlands, reassured that we were safe. Jack and his mother experienced the same, enjoying amenities we had only dreamt about. No longer was the Fence a hindrance to us but a shield. But then both Jason and Jack’s brother had to return to play their part in the great cull and, on watching the announcement, we knew our blissful ignorance couldn’t last. I stayed up playing back the words President Callister said about everyone but one member of each family having to lose their lives, as I waited on news from Jason, and Henry, but neither arrived and before the night was over I was thrown into the prison cell.
When Jack and I finally located the apartment block a few days after we stood atop the Fence and learnt the devastating truth about the flood, there was nothing but painful memories but still we returned to the temporary houses. The handful of belongings that we brought with us had been removed and the homes little more than empty showrooms of what picture perfect lives we could have had in much different circumstances.
There’s no reason to go back to the apartments now so we carry on away from the building and onto the entrance to the fortress. I’m not happy that we’ve split up from the others but after what I did to Ronan I’m to blame. I still don’t trust him but I don’t have any other choice but to keep pushing on. If he’s right about the army marching through then I might begin to change my mind about him.
“Ronan said it’s up this way,” Claire says, not slowing down as the four of us pace the abandoned streets, her up front whilst Dante watches from the back in case of anyone sneaking up on us. “This place is...” She trails off, not able to find the right word.
“Amazing?” Jack offers.
“Something like that.”
I like Claire. She’s tough. She managed to escape with her two young children the night of the great cull but she’s decided to split up from them today; rowing far into the sea would keep them all together but it wouldn’t be a solution to keeping them safe forever. Claire is the epitome of where we went wrong with each cull; every time we faced danger it was because the Upperlanders placed us in situations in which they made us fight one another instead of building up the courage to go into battle against them.
“What are their names?” I ask Claire.
“Who?”
“Your children.” After six months of Jack leading negotiations against them, I had started to see Travis and Claire as the enemy and forgotten that they suffered too. “Sorry, are you ok?”
“It’s fine.” Claire might have pushed them out of her mind and I’ve just reminded her that they could be in danger. “Scarlett and William.”
“Their dad?”
“Died.”
“In the cull?”
“No, just died. He was a fisherman. Drowned a few years ago. I don’t know what happened but he was found near the shore, his clothes snagged on a submerged brick wall.”
“I’m sorry.”
Claire guffaws. “It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? Dying in the hands of the Upperlands is one thing but an accident seems so unfair.”
“No more deaths then. That’s the best I can offer.”
“That’s why I’m here. Scarlett and Bill deserve a better life.”
“Check this out,” Jack says, and we stop and turn to him. He holds some plastic packaging, tips it upside down and some crumbs fall out onto his hand.
“Anyone could have left it here before the cull,” Claire says.
Jack tastes a bit. “Cake. It’s fresh.”
I look around, as if I expect someone to advance now that we have been ensnared into some sort of ambush but there’s still no one other than the four of us. Dante catches up and notices what Jack’s holding. “Others might have survived. Patrick did.” I think of Maddie but we tried
to look for her after the explosion and assumed she was caught up in the blasts. Yet someone must have let Patrick out of the prison.
We’re at a crossroad with tall blocks weighing down all around and anyone could be targeting us from the numerous windows that leave us in plain view. “We need to keep moving.” I start up and nearly turn a corner when Dante grabs my arm and stops me.
“What...”
He puts his hand over my mouth and whispers one word. “Army.”
Theia
Zeke, this boy who I am supposed to trust, directs me along the hallway. “You know where you’re going?”
“The exit? We don’t stand a chance. But I have an idea.”
“Another escape route?”
“Not exactly. A detour.”
I’m amazed by how large this place is, seeming to not have just been built on top of the mountain but into it too. “How far down does it go?”
“Four, five floors. The exit is on the lowest. There’s a door that leads to a stairwell and two elevators built into a shaft. It’s how we travelled up on the day that...”
“The Utopia exploded?”
Zeke looks ashamed and I wonder how many of the people he loved died. I wonder if he knew Kate or even if he lived in the same block as her. “Why did you survive? That sounds blunt but I need to know.”
“The best in their fields were invited up. My father was chief engineer.”
Zeke turns into a corridor and then seems to get his bearings as he makes a sharp turn and walks with more confidence. “You knew what was going to happen to the others?”
“No. I mean, I guessed that the Utopia wasn’t going to set sail. It was only after we heard the explosions that evening but by then we were here.”
“You didn’t have another choice.”
“How many times can I lie and pretend that’s true. I’ve sat back during so many deaths and so much pain, relieved that it was happening ‘over there’ and didn’t affect me. Guess it caught up with me.”