by P. S. Lurie
“You trust Ronan now?” I ask Ruskin, surprised that he’s willing to follow the directions of the person he’s been most cautious of.
“I think so. He was telling the truth about the attack and he and his friends risked their lives for us. Even if I don’t believe him and he is with Theia then we’ve got to find them.” Ruskin pecks me on the cheek as he picks up his bag and exits the room, leaving me alone with Selene who seems lost in a daydream.
“You’ve been quiet. Everything alright?”
“Yeah,” she says distractedly, coming out of her trance.
“Are you scared?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Fair point.” She’s still frozen to the spot and I’m concerned that there’s something she’s not telling me. “What happened when you split off from us?”
“It’s not that. It’s the shopping mall.”
“You went there? I thought you were locked up in the apartment?”
“Only the one time, on the day of the second cull.” There’s pain behind her words and I think back to when I first met her. It was in the prison courtyard as she sped through on the motorbike but there was also something else odd about her arrival: I picture her attire and the reason starts to connect in my head before she says the words. “I went wedding dress shopping there.”
Selene
We’re back on the move now towards the shopping mall that Nathaniel hurried me to after not only being told we were to board the Utopia but also after I found out who I really was and that my mother and Theia were still alive. Since then I have witnessed my mother’s death and today I have killed my father in retaliation. But I’m tired of it. I want this all to be over, to just have a normal day whatever that looks like but one in which I don’t have to worry that anyone is betraying me or trying to kill me.
I’m not even sure it’s possible.
I think back to the feeling of being swept away by the sea towards death before Melissa brought me back to life. It would have been easier.
There’s no one around as we retrace our steps to the entrance of the building and veer off in a different direction, sweeping around Dante’s body. Tess looks longingly towards the area where Samuel is, out of sight.
“I want to see him,” she says, and Melissa holds her hand to comfort her.
“Maybe we should wait here,” Claire says. “The others might not be far.”
“No, the mall is our best bet,” Ruskin says. “We need Cal, Francine and Ronan if we have any chance to make it up to the fortress. Even Theia. I’m the only one who’s been there out of us and that was in a helicopter.”
I consider that Ruskin might be mistaken. Dr Penn has been working to brainwash all the children and turn them into assassins but would he have been able to do the same to me in Nathaniel’s apartment or could some of his work on me have taken place in the fortress? I remind myself that Nathaniel didn’t have much awareness of what went on up there so it would have had to be behind my kidnapper’s back. Kidnapper or, when I remember the wedding dress, fiancée.
We exit through a garbage disposal room; the last time I tried to leave Nathaniel’s building using that particular route I found myself up against a locked door but Maddie effortlessly shoots through the lock and avoids the same problem.
Jack checks that no one is around and Maddie leads us away from where we were attacked. I was in too much of a confused state the first time I went to the mall to work out where it is from here but I recall that it was about equidistant between the arena and Nathaniel’s apartment where my father first lost his thumb, and then his life.
“It’s too quiet,” Ruskin says.
“As if that’s a bad thing now,” I mutter to myself.
“Let’s turn back then,” Tess replies.
“It’s just through here,” Maddie says, checking a corner and then hurrying along a similar-looking street. I don’t have a problem keeping up but I know that any longer on my feet and my hip will be throbbing. That’s pretty good going considering the day I’ve had.
“Thanks,” I say to Melissa.
“What for?”
“Pushing me with the rehab.”
“You didn’t tell me, did you find Nathaniel?”
“He’s dead.” Dr Penn had no reason to lie to me but that’s all I say to Melissa because any more is too revolting to say out loud. Still, I can’t quell the idea that somehow Dr Penn was also Nathaniel’s father and that we were related. What if Rufus Penn didn’t just come to avenge my mother’s death but also my brother’s? If that’s the case then we each killed one member of the family except my mother who may have killed me during the great cull had the situation been different. The Penn and Gould family, one long cull that President Callister would have revelled in had she known about us all.
“How do you feel?” Melissa asks.
“I’m glad I know.” I’m still working it through but it’s a jumble of ideas in my head and I don’t want to think about it anymore. Yet there’s one thing that concerns me because Dr Penn wasn’t able to clarify what he meant about the injection before I killed him. He seemed to want me to go to the fortress with him. I don’t know what for.
Melissa rubs my shoulder, pleased that Nathaniel is laid to rest in my mind; she knows I’ve been waiting for that answer for so long now and that it’s kept me up every night. She’ll think that if we survive this I’ll sleep better but I have a feeling that my father’s words will haunt even worse nightmares.
I imagine shooting him with Maddie spurring me on and one thing comes to mind: I want to kill him again. It’s what I felt about Nathaniel, wanting him alive mostly so that I could end his life. To shoot a bullet into his chest and watch him bleed out.
I look ahead and get my bearings. We’re almost at the shopping mall.
I guess taking out my frustrations on a mannequin will have to do. And I know just the one.
Theia
“Hello?”
I call out into the cavernous shopping mall but to no reply. It’s been a long time since I brought Cassie here, full tantrum in swing, on route from her school to pick up Kate’s dry cleaning and it doesn’t cease to amaze me that such a space exists. Six levels of stores, now devoid of food and clothes and toys. People too; what used to be the hive of activity in the Upperlanders is now empty because the staff and customers are either dead or in the fortress. I didn’t see an area like this in the fortress but I wouldn’t be surprised if they had one because if President Callister has held back one thing it’s that she has more access to space than she ever let on.
A sense of panic floods my body and I try to place its onset. Leda. The Middlelanders on the boats with the guards marching towards them. Selene and the others. All of that hits me but it’s something else. Zeke. I’m mostly worried right now about him because the last I saw he was facing down an army and I doubt they will hesitate in killing him. I should have stayed with him if President Callister wanted me unharmed and used my surrender as a bargaining tool. I need to save the boy who turned his back on his community and helped me.
President Callister must know that I have escaped by now. I don’t know what that means for Leda but, with the majority of the army out of the way, we’re wasting time by not going into the fortress. I hope Ronan’s right that this is where we can regroup.
Travis looks around at the number of shops, incredulous that the closest thing we had in the Middlelands was a corrugated iron market selling scraps. The others, Ronan, Cal and Francine don’t seem fussed as if they have all been here before, which must be the case because Cal goes to a drinking fountain knowingly and fills up plastic cups with potable water. He hands them out, swigs and then drops his cup on the floor, ignoring the wastefulness.
“How long do we give it?” Travis asks.
“Ten minutes,” Ronan says.
“I’ll be back soon,” I say, deciding I need some space to comprehend everything that’s happening; if anyone tries to come into the shopping mall I have some g
ood protection so I’m not concerned about security for the moment.
“Let her go,” I hear Francine say to Ronan, who must have wanted to follow me.
I carry on along the same level, recognising shop fronts although most of the stock has been ransacked. Maybe it was moved onto the Utopia shortly before detonation or transferred up to the fortress, or salvaged by Maddie and anyone else that continued to live here.
I shake my head of the memory of fighting Maddie this morning. That wasn’t real.
I play back the events since then. Strangling Adam Jefferson. That was real.
Maddie survived in the Upperlands on her own so maybe she or others like her built camps using some of the items here. Maddie gave up her place on the Utopia for us and although it was misguided I’ll never forget her sacrifice for us to live. I figure that once she worked out that there was no water she went back to the prison and gave Erica a proper burial.
Why didn’t she return to the Middlelands? Even if she could find a route back to the Middlelands, would she have wanted to retrace her steps and see where her family died? I don’t know if I would.
Did Selene, and Melissa, Ruskin and Jack return to their houses? I remember all of the deaths they faced. Ruskin’s parents were thrown from the Fence and Jack’s mother died in the prison. Selma didn’t survive much longer.
Further back in the past. Melissa’s parents died in their house but I have no idea how because she never told me and I had too much going on in my own home to see any violence across our gardens.
I think of my family and where I last saw their bodies. My grandparents on a double bed, my father with a knife in his back in the next room and my mother in the garden, offering herself so that I could live. She died wondering where the necklace she gave me was. Next door was Jason, Ruskin’s brother, alongside the Ethers. To the other way were Henry and his parents.
I realise I could never go back. It would be too painful to return.
I’ve walked to the end of the shopping concourse and through to the central food court with restaurants to the side, not that I ever ate in a single one. I did watch as Cassie scoffed down a burger and milkshake without a thought of others, including me, starving, oblivious that I was sitting opposite her salivating at the idea of tasting anything other than the bland food given to us in the barracks. Then I think of the zoo Zeke led me to and of the cows that provided the beef and milk for her meal.
Farther through and I’m in the recreational parts: a movie theatre, casino, ice-skating rink, bowling alley and a games arcade. More activities to pass the time than I ever knew.
“Theia,” a voice shouts.
I spin around to see the others running towards me, joined by several others including Jack, Ruskin, Maddie, Melissa and Selene, and I assume that anyone not with them – two men, I think – are either dead or at best separated from the rest of us.
I smile at Ruskin, glad that he and Ronan made the plan in the first place. “Anyone behind you?”
“No,” Jack says. “There are a handful of guards some way back but we outnumber them and getting into the fortress should be possible if we approach cautiously.”
“There’s a boy. Zeke. Don’t harm him.”
“What’s the plan?” Melissa asks.
“Find President Callister and kill her,” Ronan says. “End her reign.”
“Three men too,” Ruskin says.
“I know them,” I reply, wondering how many of the confused experiences were real or not. “They’re judges, I think.”
Ruskin nods. “I wouldn’t mind taking care of them myself.”
I see Jack frown, pained at the aggression in Ruskin’s tone.
“And the Upperlanders?” I ask. “What do we do about them?” It’s bad enough we have to fight children that have been brainwashed but now we’re debating innocent people who will get caught in the crossfire.
Travis is the first to reply. “They didn’t stop the culls. They are implicit in our families’ deaths.”
“I have to agree,” the younger of the two women says. I see her swollen eyes and remember the man with her that was shot and must have died.
“We fight whoever attacks us,” Maddie says.
Jack nods. “If we win, then whoever is left will be tried and punished accordingly but we can’t let them distract us. We push on towards Callister and avoid hurting anyone.”
“That’s diplomatic,” Melissa says. “What happened to killing them all?”
“We spare anyone we can.”
“You quote Theia’s speech more often than anyone.”
I don’t understand, then realise they must be talking about what I said in the prison. They still hold onto those words. “We kill anyone that gets in our way but they’re not our focus.”
“What’s changed?” Ruskin asks.
“The fight isn’t coming to us. We’re taking the fight to them.”
“They’re all guilty, so we should kill them all,” Ruskin says. “I’m not taking any chances.”
I understand everyone’s points of view. I want the Upperlanders to acknowledge what they’ve allowed to happen by sitting by passively. It’s what Zeke has had to come to terms with today. “If we have to but we shouldn’t get distracted. Focus on President Callister. If she’s dead then we should gain control quicker.”
“What does she want with you anyway?” the woman I think is called Claire asks me.
I don’t know the answer but don’t have time to debate it any longer as a burst of noise surges towards us and we brace for a new round.
Ruskin
There are only a few of them and should be no match for the number of us but they have the upper hand with the solid uniforms whilst any bullets would strike us. Francine, Cal, Ronan and Travis attack whilst the rest of us hold back, hiding behind tables and counters as people fire bullets and those that make it closer swing their fists. I want to stand and join in the fight but something anchors me to the spot and I realise it’s Jack’s grip as he restrains me with all of his might.
I look out and see that, now some of us have hidden, the others fighting are the ones outnumbered. I glance at Maddie and know what I have to do. I shake Jack off me, and Maddie and I both stand up and charge. Together we manage to take out one of the children. I punch the soldier and then Maddie swings a chair into his stomach. “Stop,” Jack says, as I pull off his helmet to kill him but see he is bruised and bloodied and unconscious, and I flashback to finding Jack on the bed in the prison about to be killed by Marcus when he was innocently passed out and defenceless. I feel the anger pulsate through me and shake away the image, and only then do I notice that all of the other soldiers have been taken care of.
“What are you doing?” Jack shouts at me. Everyone’s standing around us, trying not to listen in on the conversation but finding it impossible to ignore.
“They were going to kill us.”
He tries to hold my arms and pull me close but I shrug him off. “You’re being a hypocrite. You’re all hypocrites.”
“Ruskin,” Theia says. “Henry wouldn’t have wanted this.”
“They killed him. Stop defending them.” I’m crying, and let Jack take me into his arms. “Leave me alone,” I say unconvincingly, my mind clear as day telling me that protecting Jack meant killing a child. “Jack.”
“It’s ok.”
I let him console me but then I hear some movement and look up to see a group gather around one of the child soldiers who didn’t die. Francine pins her arms behind her back and Cal interrogates her.
“How many are in the fortress?”
“Traitors,” the girl snipes back. Cal punches her in the face and she passes out.
“Let’s go,” Ronan says. As everyone files towards the front of the shopping mall I watch the small groupings and pairs form: Selene and Theia talk about something but it’s out of earshot and I see Travis reunite with Claire and Tess, learning about Samuel and Dante. We’ve been battered but we’re not defeated.
“Are you going to be ok?” Jack asks me, as he lets me go.
To both our surprise, I brush him off and walk alone, not angry at him but furious with myself that I can’t seem to control the rage that grows inside of me, hurting him most of all and risking losing him in the process.
Melissa
“Quickest way back is along the train lines,” Francine says.
“Maybe not,” I say. “We kind of destroyed it.”
“There’s an underground car park,” says Maddie. “We could drive back.”
“It’s not far,” Ronan says. “Let’s run.”
Cal flicks a switch on his sleeve. “Everyone be quiet.” We listen to static as he presses a series of numbers on the miniature keypad then holds his hand over the device. “There’s nothing. I reckon we’re safe.”
“What’s that?” Theia asks.
Ronan points to his. “I have one too. We can communicate with any soldiers but it wasn’t safe to message one another because they listen in.”
Cal turns off the noise. “That was the main channel. Any information and we would have heard it.”
“Are you up for it?” I ask Selene.
She pretends to be unfazed by her injury. “I’ll race you.”
We near the front of the mall and towards the grand glass doors. Cal and Ronan check but there’s no one waiting for us.
“Melissa,” Theia says to me, tilting her head to the side to indicate she wants to speak away from the others.
“What’s up?”
“How are the Middlelands?”
“Dry. Deserted.” I read her face and know what she means. “Oh. Ruskin’s been to your house a few times. He’s looked for Jason. It’s the only body we haven’t found. We buried all of your family.”
“And,” she says, her voice breaking under the heaviness.
“Henry and his parents too.”
“Thank you. Did you... go back to your house?”
“No. I couldn’t.” Theia never found out what happened that night and I’m not going to suddenly disclose what I did, having kept my secret hidden for so long. There’s no reason I’ll ever have to return and I want that part of my life behind me; I can’t just blame Theia and the others for bringing it up because my mind isn’t letting it go easily even when I’m alone.