She released a little mew, sending a shiver of desire through him. She was kissing him back now, and he forced himself to keep his hands above her shoulders. He had to stay strong with her, couldn’t allow himself to be vulnerable…to care.
But then he felt it, the old familiar fear rising in his gut. Clawing to his throat and souring the sweetness that was Leah’s kiss.
He tore himself away, gasping. “I can’t, Leah… I’m sorry…”
He couldn’t look in her eyes, couldn’t let them capture him, couldn’t see the disappointment there. He spun around, putting his back to her. He struggled to get control of himself, breathing deeply through his mouth.
A hand touched his arm. “Gideon?”
Her voice was full of questions. He hated himself. Why had he gotten close to her? Why had he allowed her to come out here in the first place? Having her so close all morning had weakened his defenses, twisted his mind into thinking a little taste would be all right.
“We need to get back now.” He didn’t mean for his voice to sound as harsh as it came out, but an apology would weaken his defenses…again. Instead, he turned and marched toward the horses. A glimpse of her hurt expression as he brushed past pushed a knife into his gut. He relished the pain.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Leah stared out the window into the darkness, pulling the shawl tight around her shoulders.
“Worrying won’t bring him back any faster, Leah. You might as well sit down and relax.” Miriam’s voice was motherly, with a strong hint of understanding.
Leah didn’t turn away from the glass, knowing her cheeks were likely pink. The memory of the kiss flashed through her mind, unbidden. It had been amazing, better than she’d dreamed her first kiss would be. Until the end, that is… Poor Gideon. She knew it was fear he fought. She’d seen it haunt his eyes every time he looked at her since that wonderful day last week.
Lord, please help him release his fear. Show him he can rest in You. It was the mantra she’d prayed for months now, but a peace cloaked her heart as she released the prayer.
A sigh sneaked out, as she turned and moved toward the kitchen. Her limp was slight these days, although tiredness exaggerated it now. She lifted the lid off the pot on the stove and poked a fork into the venison roast simmering. It was getting tougher each time she checked it.
Leah shot another glance out the window. Gideon should have been home an hour ago. He was usually so dependable, almost never varying his timing more than a quarter hour. She had a suspicion he kept to such a rigid schedule for Miriam’s sake, to give her a sense of security. Why else would he make the long ride home for lunch almost every day, when it would be much easier to pack the meal in his saddlebags and eat with the herd? That made his absence tonight so much more worrisome.
Squaring her shoulders, she turned toward Miriam. “I’m going out to look for him.”
Miriam’s head shot up from the quilt squares she’d been stitching. “You can’t go out in the dark, Leah. You’ll get lost and freeze to death.”
Leah clenched her jaw. She could not just sit here without knowing if Gideon was all right. What if he’d fallen from his horse and been knocked unconscious, or been mauled by a mountain lion? He could be dying while she twiddled her thumbs.
“Miriam, something’s wrong. I can feel it. I can’t stay here when Gideon needs help.”
Miriam paused for a moment, then sighed and set her sewing aside. “All right then, I’m coming with you.”
It seemed to take forever to gather a rifle, blankets, lanterns, and a thermos of coffee, then saddle the horses. Images of Gideon’s prone body assaulted her mind, bleeding from an Indian arrow, or swollen from a snakebite. Prayer was her only weapon against the unknown forces that may have struck Gideon, and she used it with fervor.
As they started on the trail through the woods, Miriam took the lead, calling for her brother as they went.
While Miriam’s calls echoed through the quiet forest, Leah’s eyes scanned the snow around them, eager for some kind of trail or marking that would point them to Gideon. The trees overhead sheltered them from moonlight, allowing her to see only about twenty feet in any direction. Each time she recognized a landmark from their ride the week before, Leah’s heart gave a little leap, but there was no sign of Gideon. Lord, please show us the way.
After an eternity, the trees broke, and she realized they’d reached the overlook with the amazing view. The knot in her gut obliterated the pleasure that normally came with the memory of sitting here on horseback with Gideon. Her shoulders tensed even more, if that were possible.
The trail entered the woods again, the darkness soaking into Leah’s skin.
“Gideon!” She added her own cry to Miriam’s.
A yip sounded in the distance, grabbing Leah’s attention. Every nerve in her body stood on alert, listening.
“Did you hear that?” Leah didn’t wait for Miriam to respond, but pushed her mare off the trail and through the deep snow.
“Drifter!” After a few seconds, she heard another yip. It wasn’t the dog’s normal excited bark, but a strangled cry that raised bumps on her arms. She had a better fix on the direction now, and she kicked her mare, pushing her faster than was safe in the deep snow.
“Drifter!”
The dog continued to yelp in response to her calls, and finally she saw him, huddled under a bush. As she leaped from her horse and covered the last few feet, she realized he lay in a bed of dark snow. Blood.
“Hey, boy. That’s a good boy. What’s wrong with you?” She kept up a steady croon as she stroked the dog’s head and struggled to determine his injuries in the dark. Long, deep scratches covered his right side, and his right front leg was soaked with blood.
“What’s happened?” Miriam crouched behind her, peering around Leah. Her face was almost as white as the snow, giving her a ghostly appearance.
“He has some deep cuts and blood all over his leg. Can we put him on your horse so we can keep looking for Gideon?” Leah heard the intensity in her own voice. She didn’t want to think what had caused the injuries, but Drifter’s condition had planted a driving fear in her chest. She had to find Gideon.
Miriam remounted and Leah carefully wrapped the dog in a blanket, then handed him up to her friend. He whined when she first moved him, but as she settled him across Miriam’s lap, she felt the familiar tongue across her wrist. “It’s all right boy. We’re gonna find Gideon and get you both fixed up.”
Leah started off again on foot, leading her horse so she could follow Drifter’s trail of blood. The going was slow and exhausting, with the snow mid-thigh in most areas. Finally, she mounted her horse. The crimson trail was more clear now, and time was of the essence.
They were moving uphill, wrapping around the mountain and skirting boulders that peeked out from the snow. The trees had thinned and morphed into low shrubs with occasional scruffy pine. She had a bad feeling about this.
Miriam continued to call Gideon’s name, and Leah heard the fear in her tone intensify the farther they rode.
Leah looked around the area as they continued the search. Her eyes drifted back to the ground. No blood. The snow appeared solid white. Had they missed Gideon? She drew her horse to a stop and surveyed the area as far as she could see. No sign of the man. Should they continue or backtrack?
An opening in the rock side of the mountain caught her attention. A cave. She jumped from her horse and looped the mare’s reins on a branch.
“Gideon?” Leah’s hands shook as she struggled to unhook the lantern from her saddle horn. She proceeded cautiously into the mouth of the cave, her light almost ineffective against the deep darkness. “Gideon!”
She heard a faint moan and shuffled in that direction. The lantern gradually illuminated a body lying prone on the rock floor. Leah’s heart clenched as she dropped to her knees beside him. “Gideon…”
He was a tangled mass of blood, and his rugged face had blanched to an eerie white, outlined by t
he red that dripped down his left cheek. Leah touched his forehead. His skin was so cold. God, please! She moved her hand down to his neck. A soft rhythm thumped against her fingers. Thank you!
“Gideon, can you hear me?” She spoke softly, the darkness casting foreign shadows around them.
A strangled cry sounded from behind her. Leah whirled to find Miriam, a look of sheer terror on her face.
“He’s alive.” Leah forced a measure of calm into her voice, fighting her own rapid-fire heartbeat. Miriam’s eyes appeared almost crazy in the lamplight, like she would turn and run at any moment.
“He’s dead…” she moaned dropping to her knees a few feet away.
Leah crawled to her friend, wrapping both arms around her shoulders. “He’s not dead. His pulse is strong, but he’s cold. Can you go get blankets from the saddle bags? He’s going to be fine, but we need to get him warm.”
Miriam nodded numbly, then rose to her feet and stumbled toward the cave entrance. Leah watched her go for only a second, praying the words she’d spoken would be true. God, you have to keep Gideon alive. Please!
She turned back to the injured man and held the lantern over his body, taking an inventory of his wounds. Most of the blood seemed to be around his abdomen. His buckskin was ripped, exposing cloth, pale skin, and bloody gashes under the leather. His legs seemed to be in better condition, and she cautiously straightened them, watching for irregular angles that might signal a break.
When her eyes traveled back up to his face, it wore a tortured look, and she couldn’t help but brush the hair from his forehead. His skin was icy. They had to get him warm soon.
For the first time, she looked around the cave, wondering what animal had done this to him. Was it still around? She’d left her rifle tucked into the scabbard on her saddle. If the animal was still in the cave, she and Gideon both were in danger.
A scuffle sounded behind her, and Miriam appeared with a handful of blankets.
Leah focused again on Gideon and began to cocoon him in the quilts, careful not to move his head. He released another low moan when she touched the side of his abdomen.
“I’m sorry.” Her chest ached at the obvious pain before her.
Should they get him back to the cabin, or try to warm him here? Was there still danger in the area? As if to answer her question, a shrill howl sounded in the distance. Not too close, but loud enough to raise bumps on her arms. Thank you, Lord, for guidance.
Another strangled cry came from her right, and Leah realized Miriam had wandered to the far side of the cavern.
“What is it?” She rose and moved with her lantern to where Miri was standing. The huge brown mass of a grizzly bear lay face up on the cave floor, its glazed eyes staring vacantly into the darkness. A pool of blood had puddled next to it, and the fur around its chest and neck appeared damp and mangled.
Leah fought the bile in her throat, and turned to see Miriam hugging her arms, her entire body shuddering. Leah reached for the girl’s shoulders and turned her into a tight embrace.
A bear. That was the way Abel had died. Miriam’s body wracked in her arms, great sobs shaking them both, while Leah held tightly and rocked from side to side.
“I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry…” It was all Leah could think to say. Curled in her embrace, Miriam seemed no more than her sixteen years. Not the strong, capable woman she usually impersonated, but the scared adolescent she really was. Leah’s heart ached with love for this girl.
As her sobbing relaxed a bit, Leah reluctantly pulled back and took Miriam’s face in her hands. She infused all the certainty she could muster into her tone. “Gideon is not going to die like Abel did. Do you understand? We need to get him back to the cabin, though, to get him warm and doctored.” She searched her mind for a job to occupy Miriam. “Can you help me put him on my horse? Then, I’ll need you to lead the way back out of here.”
Miriam nodded, her sniff echoing in the cave.
Then Leah remembered the injured dog. “Where is Drifter?”
“Wrapped in a blanket on the ground outside.” Miriam’s voice quivered, but at least she was talking.
Leah kept one arm draped around the girl’s shoulders as she directed her back toward Gideon. At his side, Leah released her and kneeled to check Gideon’s pulse again. His skin was still cold, but his pulse was strong.
She stroked his forehead and the thick locks that fell over it, contemplating how to get him over to the horses and actually up on one of them. Could two women lift this tall, strapping man without wounding him more? They would have to try.
“Let’s see if we can lay him on a blanket. That may be easier to move without hurting him.” After spreading the largest quilt next to Gideon, Leah gingerly slipped her arm under his shoulders, supporting his head with her body, while Miriam moved his legs. As they shifted him, Gideon released a moan and his eyes fluttered.
Once he was on the quilt, Leah draped the other blankets back over him, covering everything except his face.
“Leah…” His voice was raspy and his eyes were still closed, but Gideon had spoken. Leah’s heart gave a little leap.
“I’m here, Gideon.” She stroked his good cheek, her eyes wandering over every strong line of his face. Pain had etched grooves around his eyes.
“Prayed… you’d… come.” His words reached into her chest where her heart resided and squeezed.
“I’m here, Gideon. We’re going to get you home where it’s warm.”
Between the two of them, they half-dragged, half-carried Gideon to the edge of the cave. Miriam untied Leah’s mount and led the mare to the opening.
Leah found herself chewing her bottom lip as she eyed the man on the ground and the height of the saddle. There was no way to make this easy. She bent back down to Gideon and stroked his face again. She couldn’t tell if he was awake or if he’d passed out from the pain, but the rise and fall of his chest brought a measure of comfort. “Gideon, do you think you can try to mount the horse? We’ll help you.” She knew it was an absurd request given his condition, but any effort he could apply would help.
“Yes…” His voice was a raspy whisper and his eyes remained closed, but he was true to his word. With the women on either side, they worked together to boost him into the saddle. As soon as he landed in the leather seat, his body slumped over the horn. Leah kept a hand on his arm lest he keel over.
With very little grace, she managed to climb on behind him. She settled in behind the saddle with an arm on each side of Gideon, and the warmth of the horse’s wooly coat beneath her. She fervently hoped this was not the mare’s first experience riding double.
As they started down the trail, Leah was conscious of Gideon’s strong bulk in front of her. Never had she dreamed she would be saving this man’s life in such a way.
Chapter Twenty-Six
During the long ride, convulsive shivers wracked Gideon’s body in front of Leah. Her efforts to warm him proved fruitless, for each time her arm touched his side, he would moan and flinch away from her. It seemed the only thing she could do to help was grip his shoulders so he didn’t pitch from the swaying rhythm of the horse.
Finally at the cabin, Leah rode right up to the steps of the porch, then slid from her horse, careful not to knock Gideon off. She and Miriam tucked themselves under each of his arms to help him down from the mount and into the house. He made an effort to walk, but was shaking so badly, it was a stumble, at best.
Once they were inside, Leah looked around for the best place to settle him. He was too weak to sit upright in a chair, and a bed would be too far away from the fire. His violent shivers made warmth the most important need for now. Had frostbite already set in? She’d have to check for that soon.
“Let’s lay him in front of the fire.” Leah nodded her head in the direction of the hearth. “We can make a pallet for him and doctor his wounds while he gets warm.”
As soon as they had him on the floor, wrapped in the quilts they’d used in the cave, Miriam scu
rried to gather more blankets, bandages, and hot water.
Leah knelt by Gideon’s side. She needed to take off the shredded buckskin so she could assess the damage underneath. But even the thought of removing this man’s shirt felt like she was entering a taboo room. Maybe she should ask Miriam to remove the bloody garments and doctor his wounds. But an image flashed through Leah’s mind of the girl’s terrified expression when she’d first seen Gideon in the cave. It wasn’t fair for Miri to go through this with Gideon like she had with Abel.
Leah inhaled a deep breath and released it, her nerves softening with the exhaled air. She glanced at Gideon’s face. His eyes were closed in a grimace, his jaw quivering from the cold that still consumed him. She reached for the scissors from Miriam’s sewing bag, and fingered the bottom edge of his buckskin tunic. Clenching her jaw, she began to snip, working her way up toward his neck.
As the leather fell away, it revealed a brown flannel shirt, with long tears shredding the fabric across the front. Leah followed the same process to remove this garment, cutting from the bottom up and spreading the two sides apart so they looked like an unbuttoned jacket.
Underneath the flannel layer was the white undershirt she had expected to find. The shreds of material that lay haphazardly across his abdomen were drenched with a viscous layer of crimson that squeezed Leah’s gut in a nauseating grip. When bile rose into her throat, she clenched her eyes shut, gulping in steadying breaths.
Sooner than she wanted to, Leah forced her eyes open and began to slice through the undershirt, careful to raise it above his skin so she didn’t knick him in the process.
Once this last layer of fabric was laid aside, his chest was exposed, displaying deep claw marks that slashed at various angles across his front and left side. A fresh wave of nausea washed through Leah, but she forced her mind to focus on what she should do next.
Mountain Dreams Series: Books 1 - 3: Mountain Dreams Box Set 1 Page 18