"You'd think the man hadn't eaten in weeks." Leah's smile had a hint of apology, before she turned a stern gaze on her husband. "If you're still hungry, dear, I see the gentleman behind you hasn't licked the gravy from his fork yet." But the twinkle in her eye belied her sternness.
Gideon gave a casual shrug, a grin tugging at his lips. "Just didn't want good meat going to waste."
"Can't have that." Leah rolled her eyes toward Miriam. But as Leah looked back at her husband, their eyes locked in that sweet, mushy smile where they seemed to forget about everyone around them.
The sight sent a pain through Miriam's chest, all the way to the core of her. Alex had looked at her like that, right before his face had twisted into a tortured expression.
"We'll leave in the mornin' at first light." Gideon popped a chunk of ham in his mouth.
Leah turned to Miriam. "Will that work for you, Miri?"
No. She swallowed. "I guess."
"Doc Alex said your leg's healin' better than he expected. You just have to keep up with the exercises they gave you."
Miriam could only nod, as she dropped her gaze back to her plate and recommenced spreading potatoes.
Chapter Twenty-One
"Are you going to tell me what's eating you?"
Miriam's shoulders tensed as she turned away from Leah's probing gaze. When they'd returned to the boarding house after the meal, Leah had offered to come help Miriam ready for bed. Maybe it had been a mistake to accept the help.
"Miri." Leah's soft tone compelled her.
Could she tell? Leah would probably understand more than anyone. Miriam spun to face her, straightening her spine. "I don't want to go back to the ranch tomorrow."
Leah sank to the bed and patted the spot beside her. "Come sit."
Miriam obeyed, inhaling a deep breath. She raised her gaze to Leah's, and the gentle love shimmering there eased her nerves a little.
"So if I had to guess, I'd say you're not talking about waiting another day." A hint of humor curved her mouth.
Shaking her head once, Miriam collected her words. "I'd like to stay here and work in the clinic." She dropped her gaze to the spray of blue forget-me-nots on the quilt square in front of her.
Leah sighed. "I guess I'm not surprised. How long were you thinking to stay in town?"
Miriam raised her head. "I haven't really thought that far. It just feels right to be here, you know? Like I'm really helping. I've become acquainted with some of the patients, and I love assisting the doctors. It's like I'm finally doing something worthwhile. Helping to make a difference." How could she explain the powerful need that had grown inside her?
Reaching for her hand, Leah squeezed. "Have you prayed about this?"
The words struck Miriam somewhere in her core. Had she? Not really. Not seeking God's direction. In fact, these last few weeks since she'd been up and moving around, she'd barely stopped to spend her usual morning time with the Lord. I'm sorry, Father. She forced herself to meet Leah's gaze. "Not as much as I should have."
"Can we pray now?" Leah's soft voice poured over her like honey soothing a sore throat.
Miriam nodded, then bowed her head.
Leah's words were simple, spoken from a depth of spirit so strong Miriam could almost feel the connection with their Heavenly Father. "Lord, please fill Miriam with wisdom to discern Your will, and show her Your peace as she walks in the plan You have for her. In Christ's name, Amen."
When Miriam opened her eyes, the glimmer in Leah's matched what she felt.
"I always knew God had big plans for you, love. But I prayed they wouldn't take you away from me." Leah pulled her into a tight hug, and Miriam sank into it. Leah was the friend and sister, and sometimes even the mother, she'd always craved.
After a moment, Leah pulled back, holding Miriam's shoulders at arm's length. "This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain young doctor who's smitten, would it?"
Heat surged up Miriam's neck, and she fought the urge to cover her burning ears. "Alex has been very proper."
"Glad to hear it." Leah slid her hands down to grasp Miriam's. "And you can be sure I'll be praying for him, too."
Nibbling her lower lip, Miriam couldn't quite bring her focus up to Leah's face. "Do you think Gideon will be terribly angry?"
"He'll be worried sick." Leah squeezed her hands again. "But you let me talk to him first. He'll be all right. Most likely."
"Will you still leave tomorrow?"
Leah's mouth pressed. "I bet we'll stay one more day. At least I hope so." Her eyes grew soft as they roamed Miriam's face. "We may not be able to come back down the mountain until winter's over."
Relief loosened the muscles in Miriam's neck. At least she had one final day to enjoy them.
Leah rose from the bed, her posture ever erect and graceful. "Now, it seems I have something I need to discuss with your brother." Leaning close, she kissed Miriam's cheek. "Goodnight, love. I'll see you in the morning."
~~~
Alex pushed another log into the fire in the cook stove, but even the heat from the blaze inside couldn't burn away his bad mood. Miriam would leave today. Gideon had said as much at dinner two nights ago.
She hadn't come to say goodbye yet, so they must be getting a late start. Right? His heart beat faster. She wouldn't have left without saying goodbye, would she?
This last month had been too good to be true. Meeting Miriam, having her so eager to help around the clinic. She was an amazing lady. Intelligent. Caring. Fun. But what had he been thinking to imagine there could ever be anything serious between them? Even after she was no longer his patient, their goals were so different. She wanted to travel. Live a life of luxury. And she deserved it, too. Deserved to be treated like a princess. Deserved to be so much more than the wife of a simple doctor in an uncivilized mining town.
With a sigh, Alex rose and turned to look through the window at the mountain peaks on the horizon. It's a good thing he'd worked so hard to keep some semblance of a boundary between them. Except for that kiss. The memory of it flowed through him even now, over a week later. That kiss still tortured him.
The hinge on the front door squeaked, and the sound of a wagon passing outside grew louder. Patients already? Or the Bryant family coming to say farewell? With a tight chest, he strode toward the front room.
He almost bowled Miriam over as he turned the corner, and grabbed both her elbows to keep her upright. "So sorry."
"Oh my." Her cheeks and nose were flushed red from the cold, and she wore a navy wool coat. "Sorry I'm late. How does bacon and biscuits with gravy sound for breakfast?"
His stomach clenched. She was close enough he could smell the rose scent in her hair. And why was she talking about breakfast? He took a step back, releasing her elbows. "You, uh, don't need to worry about cooking today. I’m sure Gideon wants to get an early start."
Her brow pinched, then smoothed as understanding and a suspicious twinkle dawned in her green eyes. "They're going to stay one more day, since I won't be going back to the ranch with them. By the way, would you mind if I take the afternoon off? Leah wants to take me shopping, since I'll need some things for the rest of the winter."
What was she saying? His mind honed in on one fragment. I won't be going back to the ranch with them. Did that mean she was staying in town? Here? All winter? His heart soared, but he couldn't let himself believe it yet.
His hands gripped her shoulders. "Are you saying you want to hang around here for the winter?"
Her face took on that shy smile. "If you'll let me."
Joy surged through him. He almost picked her up and swung her in a circle, but caught himself just in time. Instead, he pulled her tight against him, wrapping his arms around her. With her touching him—so close—his pulse sped and his mind recalled that kiss again. Oh, sweet peppermint, but he wanted another. Leaning his head back, he clamped his lips against a groan. This might be the hardest winter of his life.
~~~
Miriam raised th
e soft cotton cloth to examine the tiny checkered pattern.
"That would make a pretty accent material for a spring overskirt." Leah peered over Miriam's shoulder. "Can you imagine it with ruffles trailing down the side and over a low bustle?"
Or imagine how nice it would look as a man's shirt. In her mind's eye, the fabric stretched across Alex's shoulders, tapering to his trim waist. She nibbled her lip. Would it be proper for her to make him a shirt? Probably not. Miriam dropped the cloth back on the stack.
"Do you want to purchase some to make a dress over the winter?" Leah's gaze scanned her face.
"Not right now." Miriam tried to affect a casual air.
Leah slipped a hand around Miriam's waist as they strolled down the aisle away from the cloth and notions. "All right. But you know, Gideon spoke with Mr. Lanyard, and his account is available to you at any time. If you need something, just come get it."
Miriam smiled, leaning into her friend's shoulder. "I really am going to miss you. I hope you'll come to town every chance you get."
"You better believe it." Leah squeezed Miriam's side. "Now tell me, what do you do at the clinic all day?"
"Oh, I keep the place clean, launder dressings, and sterilize supplies. I help clean and bandage wounds, keep the inventory, and sometimes I get to assist with surgeries. Alex is even teaching me how to make some of the medicines from herbs and plants. He said we'll plant an herb garden in the spring, like the one his family has for their apothecary shop in Boston."
"With all you do, no wonder the doctors can't survive without you."
Even though Leah's words hinted at teasing, heat crept up Miriam's neck. How was Alex doing this afternoon? Managing okay by himself? Of course he was. He'd taken care of things alone at the clinic long before she arrived.
Leah stopped to face Miriam. "I’m teasing, Miri. But I see how your face lights up when you talk about your work. I hear the excitement in your voice. You love it, don't you?"
Miriam's chest squeezed. "I do. I'm finally doing something that feels like it matters." She grabbed Leah's hand and squeezed. "Don't worry about me, Leah. I'm in the right place for now."
~~~
In the right place. Miriam's own words echoed through her mind as she sat on her bed in the boarding house. She fingered a corner of the linen-bound Bible in her lap—one of the items Leah brought from the cabin. It'd been so long since she'd sat and talked to God. But why had she stopped? If she was honest, it wasn't because she'd been stranded at the clinic with no Bible. Hadn't Alex brought her their copy along with the other books?
"I'm sorry, Lord." She whispered the words, squeezing her eyes tight. "I’m sorry for neglecting you." The quiet of the room didn't change, but Miriam's spirit seemed a touch lighter. A bit more open.
Lifting her eyes, she flipped the Bible open. Leah's question from the night before still burned in her mind. She hadn't prayed about whether God wanted her to stay in Butte and work at the clinic. Hadn't prayed for His guidance. "Lord, how can I know I'm in the right place? Show me."
Her fingers flipped aimlessly through the first half of the book. Wasn't there a scripture about God having plans for her? Maybe in one of the larger prophet books. It seems like she'd marked it when Leah first showed her the verse. In Jeremiah, her eyes landed on a passage, underscored by a charcoal line.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Thoughts of peace and not evil. What a wonderful image. But how to get that "expected end?"
She thumbed through several pages. There was a verse Leah loved at the beginning of Proverbs. Within seconds, Miriam found the page.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. The words struck her like a blow to her chest. In all thy ways acknowledge Him. She'd always tried to obey Scripture. But only for the easy things. No lying, stealing, or slandering. Mama and Pa had impressed right and wrong on her from her earliest days. But looking to God for direction? Her chest burned from conviction.
"I'm sorry, Lord." She whispered the words. Her fingers searched the words, as though compelled. She landed in Psalms, and her eyes roamed the page, settling on chapter thirty-seven.
Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Delight in the Lord. Her soul soared as she read the words. Holding the Bible close, she pressed her eyes shut. "Father, I want to be in Your will. I'm so sorry I haven't sought You the way I should. Please show me where You want me."
An image flashed in her mind. Alex, with that half grin on his face, eyes sparkling. "Lord, even with Alex. Please show me what to do. As much as I love the man, I get so frustrated when he keeps himself distant. Is that You keeping us apart?" She sat still for a moment, her soul troubled. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. The words from Proverbs. "Father, I give you Alex. Please direct me in Your path."
As she kept her eyes closed, it was like the weight on her shoulders lifted, releasing her spirit to a freedom she hadn't felt in months. Maybe years. She sank against the pillow behind her, savoring the moment. "Thank you."
Chapter Twenty-Two
Miriam poured enough water to fill the coffee pot, then slid the carafe to the warmest part of the stove. They went through more coffee than the café at lunchtime. At least it seemed that way.
Picking up the mug she'd filled with the last of the pot's contents, she headed toward the front room where Alex chatted with Mrs. Malmgren. The sassy older woman seemed to especially enjoy his company. Although who wouldn't? Surely the woman got lonely at times. Not only had her husband passed away last year, but now she'd lost the last of her sight. How did she manage? Even with the occasional burns and scrapes that brought her into the clinic, the woman was a marvel. And she never lost her fearless approach to life. Plenty of humor and spunk wrapped in that gray-haired package.
"Here you go." She placed the mug in Mrs. Malmgren's hands, making sure the woman's grip was strong before she released it.
"Bless you, dearie." A smile formed on her lips. "I was just telling your young man I received a letter from my daughter with the most exciting news. My granddaughter's coming to spend a few months with me in the summer. I guess all their worryin' might be worth it to see my Clara Lee again." Her mouth twitched.
Miriam nibbled her lip at the mention of Alex as her "young man." But Mrs. Malmgren's excitement was so strong, better not to douse it by correcting her. "That's wonderful news. I can't wait to meet her."
As she patted the woman's shoulder, a wagon passing outside the window caught Miriam's attention. The stoop of the man's shoulders and the floppy brim of his hat were unmistakable.
She sprinted toward the door as fast as her limp would allow. Throwing it open, she paused to take in the wiry old man reining in his team of mules at the hitching post. "Ol' Mose!"
He pulled up straight at the sight of her, blinked twice, then doffed his hat and slapped it against his leg. "Woowee, if it ain't Miz Miriam. Didn't 'spect to find anythin' prettier here than them homely docs." His eyes twinkled.
A rush of moisture stung her eyes. Ol' Mose had been a dear friend of her family for as far back as she could remember. Probably as long as he and his freight wagon had carried supplies between Fort Benton and Helena.
"Ol' Mose, I'm so happy to see you. Come inside and visit a while." She stepped aside and held the door open. "I put a fresh pot of coffee on, and there's still biscuits and ham left from breakfast."
He climbed down from the wagon, his movements slow and stiff. "Can't say as I'd ever turn down an offer like that, but what're you doin' at the clinic, Miz Miriam. Don't look like yer sick. Figured you an' yourn'd be high up on the mountain with this snowstorm acomin'."
"I'm helping out at the clinic through the winter." Miriam
followed him through the door. "Have you met Doc Alex?"
Ol' Mose pulled up so quick, she almost bumped into him. Miriam stepped around to see what caught his attention.
Mrs. Malmgren.
His face formed a lop-sided grin, evident even through his whiskers, and he rolled the brim of his hat with both hands.
"Mrs. Malmgren, may I present a dear friend of mine, Mr. Mose…" She skimmed her memory. What was his last name? They'd called him Ol' Mose as far back as she could remember.
"Moses Calhoun, ma'am. But most folks call me Ol' Mose. Pleasure to meet you."
Moses? Miriam's mouth tipped, especially since his posture had slackened when she said Missus for Mrs. Malmgren's introduction. Miriam addressed her next comment to the woman. "I've so enjoyed getting to know you these last several weeks. It's a pity I didn't get to meet Mr. Malmgren before he passed away last year."
Ol' Mose straightened next to her. Alex had been watching from Mrs. Malmgren's side with a twinkle in his eye, but now a coughing fit seemed to overtake him. Although the shaking of his chest strangely resembled laughter.
"Why don't the two of you sit and visit while Doc Alex and I pour fresh coffee?" Miriam glided to Mrs. Malmgren's side, extracted the coffee mug from her hand, and led the woman to one of the waiting room chairs.
Ol' Mose didn't need to be told twice, but as he sank into the wooden spindle chair across from Mrs. Malmgren, his feet shuffled uneasily. "Have you, uh, been in this area long, ma'am?"
Miriam retreated toward the hallway, grabbing Alex's hand as she passed.
"What are you doing?" he whispered, as they stepped into the main examination room.
Closing the door behind them, she released his hand and clapped hers over her mouth to cover a giggle. "Did you see the look on his face? I never thought I'd see the day Ol' Mose was smitten silly."
Alex's brows drew low. "Better not to interfere. If he's interested in the woman, let him handle it in his own time."
Mountain Dreams Series: Books 1 - 3: Mountain Dreams Box Set 1 Page 40