I start to run because I'm finally well-rested, and once I've made it through this damn mountain corridor, I'll be at the third marker in just a few more hours.
The path clears for a while as I race through the valley with tree-lined mountains on either side of me. The closer I get to the third marker, the closer the hills are again. I decide that the high ground is probably my best bet to find a strategic view of everything ... to assess what I'm up against. So, I climb the mountain directly north of the marker.
In the valley below, a modern city sprawls with quiet streets, but just north of it, between me and the city, is some kind of village. It seems old. The buildings don't look modern at all. In fact, they look like the ancient adobe houses I read about in fourth grade for Indigenous People’s Day. And in the sky above them, something shimmers in the evening sun.
I didn't expect the place to be empty like the other two but seeing three diamond ships tethered to pillars like they are hot air balloons waiting for the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta to begin is quite unsettling. I'm not even sure how many Lucies can fit into one of those things. I could be heading straight for an ambush.
I need to attack at night for the best odds of winning, so I sneak closer to the marker, finding a sign that says Taos Pueblo. This P.I.G.G.'s in a gawdamn UNESCO World Heritage Site with thousand-year-old buildings made from mud bricks. These aliens suck! I mean, come on. I don't want to destroy this ancient architecture. So much of our world has already been destroyed by these damn alien invaders. Why would they put their generator here?
Probably to make me think twice about blowing this damn thing away. Dammit!
Darkness reaches the old town as I creep through in search of the Lucies. They have to be here somewhere, I think, muting the music and turning up the outside volume to listen for anything out of the ordinary. I don't hear anything weird, and nothing is pinging on my screen. I can't help but think that I'm in grave danger as I continue to approach the marker.
And then I see it in the middle of the village. Surrounded by three pillars with diamonds hovering overhead is that familiar nonagonal form. To destroy this P.I.G.G. and the gateway these Lucies use to enter our dimension, I'm going to have to obliterate some Native American heritage. That's the last thing I want to do, but I have no choice. The human race depends on me.
So, I ready my lasers, place my arms next to each other, and blast the crap out of the pillars. The bracers amplify my lasers as they form into a single giant beam, one by one shattering the pillars into millions of metallic shards. An otherworldly scream echoes as metal suited aliens drop from the diamonds above. Yup, this is an ambush, I think, counting the half dozen Lucies with their wriggling, tentacle hairs on their chins.
Well, if this is the end of me, then I'm going to go out with a bang. “Play the Sergeant Pepper album,” I command, as I start blasting the Lucies.
It was twenty years ago today Sergeant Pepper told the band to play.
They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile.
Lasers fired at me, knocking bits and pieces of armor away. Red and yellow lights flash on my screen with warnings of danger and imminent violence. I'm certain I took a few of them out before they knocked my shields into oblivion.
“Reroute all battery power to shields,” I cry, as I huddle crumpled in a heap.
The Lucies slither around, coming closer. Maybe three left. Maybe less. I'm not sure how successful I was. I've failed my mission. I've—
Lasers blast into the chest armor of the Lucies. All three of them fall backward with shattered pieces of shiny metal scattering all around them. They wail with their disgusting tentacled faces, trying to reclaim their ground and fight back against whatever was attacking them. I can't move. I can't see anything, but something plays through my headphones, giving me a clue.
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends.
Mm gonna try with a little help from my friends.
“Reroute power to movement and screens,” I say, hoping I'm not blasted while my shields are powerless.
The three Lucies retreat, taking laser hits to their armor. One drops to its knees—
maybe knees. I'm not sure if it has knees, but it drops down anyway and takes a laser blast to the face. Buh bye, Lucy in the sky.
I turn toward the volleys of laser fire to find four super-secret suits march my way, blasting the Lucy's into dust. I'm not Catholic, but I crossed myself. Who were these fine saviors of mine arriving just at the nick of time?
“You okay, Big Bad Wolfe?” the familiar team leader's voice spoke into my earbuds, commandeering them right when Ringo was answering, “I want somebody to love.”
“I'm okay. How do you have the suits? How are you here?”
He blasted the last Lucy's head clean away before answering.
“You told us about Brookhaven and the suits. We figured out how to use the alien's suit to power up the diamond ship, flew to Brookhaven, and suited up. They gave us the coordinates for this generator. Thought you might need some backup.”
“Perfect timing.”
“Now let's blow this little Piggy up so we can get the hell out of here!"
“I've got another idea.”
Thankfully, the boys placated my little annoyance about wanting to relocate the generator before blowing it up. We removed the nonagonal cover, attached the cables from each diamond ship to the generator inside, and strapped the shiny metal Lucy armor over us. Then, we psychically commanded the vessels to lift the generator out of the ground.
“Where to?” the team leader asks me.
“A few hours south of here is a place called Roswell. Seems like the perfect spot to me. Make this a real full-circle kind of thing.”
“Sounds good. And when this is over, we can start searching for the other Pan-Interdimensional Gateway generators around the world.”
“Well, I've always wanted to travel. I guess this is my chance. This Big Bad Wolfe is ready to blow up some more P.I.G.G.s!”
Jared K. Chapman is an author, filmmaker, and educator. He is a native Californian who spent his formative years at school in frigid Alberta, Canada with his father and summer vacation in arid central California with his mother. He holds degrees in psychology & religious studies and is currently a doctoral candidate studying the social psychology of extreme groups. He lives in a little oasis just east of Los Angeles with his wife and three sons. 2HVØRHVNØT is his debut novel. You can find him at: jaredkchapman.com
Twisted
By K. R. S. McEntire
The Studer Kingdom is known as the “Land of the Immortals,” and my mother has ruled the kingdom for 500 years.
Long before I was born, we were the poorest of the Three Kingdoms. Now we were the most prosperous. Mother built the wall surrounding the Kingdom to keep the evil ones out; she built the castle to host the Realm's best and brightest, and she built the castle’s tower for me, her eldest daughter and heir, simply to keep me safe.
Those who call the Studer Kingdom home age slowly, and my mother looked as young and as beautiful as the day I was born. Her desire to step down and let me take the throne was a choice, not a necessity. But I am more than ready.
You see, I’ve spent my whole life inside the castle. My curse makes it risky to go out. It's the eve of my eighteenth birthday, and I am ready to reign. I'll celebrate tonight, and tomorrow I’ll claim my crown.
***
Prince Marius of the Bahkiah Kingdom was the most handsome man in the ballroom. There was something about the way he carried himself—like he owned every room he walked into. Every time he stole a glance at me my pulse sped up and my stomach tangled. His eyes followed me as I moved about the room. He wasn't trying to be coy about it—when I met his stare his lips would twist into a crooked smile.
It was the same smile he had two years ago when we first met. Though his shoulders were broader and his musc
les were toned, he had the same effect on me as he had when I was a young teen.
I’d danced with dozens of men throughout the night, my full-skirted white gown flowing behind me with my every move, all the while wondering if, or when, he would make his way over.
The sound of harps and flutes drifted over hundreds of dancing bodies, all dressed immaculately. The men were eager to dance with me, but they didn’t make conversation while we moved. Their feet were unsteady and their hands trembled. Did I make them nervous?
I’d daydreamed about this day all my life, but I'd never anticipated the somber ambience that clung to the room. The men watched my feet rather than my eyes as we danced, they held me as if I might break under the weight of their touch. Their odd behavior made me eager to talk to Marius, to rest in familiar arms.
Marius’s family first visited my castle when I was 16. We’d become fast friends. He told me all about his life in the Bahkiah Kingdom—he’d shared stories about sword duels with his father’s army and studying at a prestigious academy. He’d let me wield a katana and read through his textbooks about the Three Kingdoms.
I’d never stepped foot outside of my parent’s castle. In fact, it was rare I left the tower my mother built for me. I definitely had never held a weapon or been to a school. His world sounded like such an adventure.
He was a flirt, even at sixteen, and had given me my first kiss during his parent’s trip. I knew what he could do with a word, a glance, or a touch. I remembered the way the world seemed to pause when his lips met mine. If only he’d come over. I wanted the universe to freeze as I melted again.
My heart swelled in my chest as he finally made his way to me. I tried to play it cool as I adjusted my dress and the awful corset mother insisted I wear beneath it. My mother and sister added gold jewels and white flowers to my hair, and the dainty gold necklace that accentuated my collarbone glistened. Golden eyeshadow highlighted my honey brown eyes before blending into my almond skin. My satin dress was pearl white lace with gold trim, and I’d twisted my long, coily, gravity-defying hair so that it fell down my back. I’d styled it in a way that hid my ears. I didn’t want the world to focus on my curse today.
I didn’t look like anyone else in the Studer Kingdom, and I was okay with that. My mother always told me that girls who focus on fitting in rarely rule kingdoms. I knew it was silly for a princess to worry about one man when I would soon have my pick of them all. But as a cursed princess who’d never left home, seeing Prince Marius again was the highlight of my year.
He walked up to me, and from the corner of my eye I saw both of my bodyguards move closer. They wore chainmail armor despite the fact that everyone else was dressed for the ball.
I’d been in the shadow of my guards forever. They stood outside my bedroom as I slept. I’d promised myself that when I became queen, my first rule of command would be to tell them to let me sleep alone. I wanted to be the type of queen who could slay her own assassins.
“May I have this dance?” Marius’s voice was just as I remembered it—low and throaty. His eyes were a deeper brown than mine, almost black, and his skin held a deep golden tan. But there was something in his eyes that wasn't as familiar. They were wide, shifty, and fearful, much like the other men I'd danced with.
“I thought you’d never ask,” I said, shooting my bodyguards a pleading look. Couldn't they give me just one moment alone?
They seemed to get the message and backed off. I knew the semblance of privacy they were offering was not real, but I’d take whatever I could get.
Prince Marius took my hand and a jolt of electricity shot through me. His dark eyes sparked, and his grin was devilish. I let out a sigh of relief. This was the Marius I knew.
He led me away from my bodyguards, to a quiet corner of the ballroom. I looked over my shoulder and saw the guards eyeing me. I knew we wouldn't have much time alone, but a small moment would be better than nothing.
Marius danced elegantly, his body in tune with the slow music. He pulled me closer, and his embrace felt warm. His lead was soft but not subtle as he invited me to mirror his steps, his eyes drifting from mine to the ballroom behind me. I giggled as he spun me in his arms.
“Rapunzel,” he said. “It’s been a while.”
I could see him looking over my shoulder, distracted by something. I glanced back and saw that he was watching my guards.
“Indeed.” I moved closer, wanting him to focus on me. “What took you so long to come and say hello?”
“I was waiting for the right moment.” He pulled me closer, finally looking at me. “You looked so bored out there, dancing with those men. I thought I’d come and save you from your misery.”
He reached out to touch my necklace, then traced his fingers up towards my cheek. I held my breath as his fingers moved to my hair, which he pulled back, revealing the point of ear.
I stepped back, suddenly embarrassed, and quickly put my hair back in place.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“It’s okay.” I didn’t want to make a fuss about it. For my entire life, everyone would peak at my ears when they thought I wasn't looking. The sharp point was a tell-tale sign of my curse.
“No, it's not okay,” he said. “It's just… when I first met you, I assumed you were Akalik, because of your brown skin. I didn’t know you were Aziza. I wanted to be sure.”
I blinked up at him. I’d never heard the term ‘Aziza’ before. What was he talking about?
“You shouldn't be embarrassed about what you are,” he said. “You, and your ears, are beautiful.”
He leaned in closer, tracing his hands down my dress.
“Do you trust me, Rapunzel?”
I laughed nervously. “I suppose I trust you more than this room full of strangers. If I’m honest, they are all acting very odd. It’s my eighteenth birthday celebration, but everyone is so quiet. No one is speaking with me or looking me in the eye. They almost seem afraid of me.”
“It’s not fear.” He glanced over his shoulder as he spoke.
“I will be queen of the most prosperous nation in the Realm tomorrow. You'd think they'd all be vying for my favor.”
Then he leaned in closer, laced his fingers into mine, and pulled my body against his. My face warmed. Marius had always been flirty, but I didn’t remember him being quite as bold as he was tonight. I was glancing around the room, worried that someone saw his sly advances when his lips brushed against my cursed ear. “Rapunzel, I didn’t come here just to dance with you. I came to deliver a message.”
I pulled back and blinked up at him. “Pardon me?”
“A warning,” he clarified.
I raised an eyebrow. I expected him to whisper sweet nothings like he’d done when I was sixteen, but his words only brought questions and fear.
“I know why the men are acting strange,” he said. “No one wants to dance with a dead princess.”
My eyes grew wide. “Rest assured that there are no dead princesses here.”
“Trust me, Rapunzel,” he whispered. “I’d love to dance with you again someday, so it would be best if you left the castle tonight.”
I shook my head and stepped back. “I can’t sneak away. My ceremony is in a few hours. You are not making any sense.” As the words left my lips, I saw my bodyguards approaching from over Prince Marius’s shoulder. Marius followed my glaze, turning to look over his own shoulder.
“You should run,” Marius whispered.
As my bodyguards rushed over, he slipped his hand away from mine and rushed off, leaving a crumpled sheet of paper in my palm.
***
Prince Marius disappeared into the crowd like a phantom. I clasped my fist tight in front of me, hiding his mysterious gift from the guard’s gaze.
“Rapunzel, are you okay?” Ade, my guard of Akalik Kingdom heritage, inquired. He was the only person in the palace with a complexion like mine, which led some hecklers to say he was my true father. As a child, I wondered if that could be true and bega
n to see him as such. But he didn’t have my ears, and I knew I must have gotten my curse from someone. The true origin of my father would remain a mystery.
My mind was whirling. “I don’t feel very well. I’m going to head up to my room and rest my head before the feast.” I finally said, raising my palm to my forehead for dramatic effect.
“You can’t leave,” Ade said.
“This celebration is for you,” Rowan, my guard of Studer heritage, added quickly.
I turned up my nose. “If it's my party, then I can choose to take a break from it.”
My guardians exchanged glances but said nothing as I pushed past them towards the ballroom exit to the grand hall. In the grand hall, a spiral staircase leads to my tower. Mother said the 300 steps between the castle and my bedroom keeps me safe. My bedroom, located in the highest tower of the castle, was the only room that the guards let me enter alone, and I needed to be alone to read this note.
His words echoed in my ear as I rushed past the large, purple “Studer Kingdom” banner hanging above the marble stairs.
No one wants to dance with a dead princess. What could Marius have possibly meant by that?
I could hear my guards trying to keep up, but they were not as spry as me in their chainmail armor. Despite my sedentary life, I'd always been nimble and quick. In another life, I imagined I'd be a dancer or a warrior.
I locked the door as soon as soon I made it inside my room, and ignored their desperate knocks.
“Rapunzel?” Rowan called from the other side of my door.
“I’m undressing! Leave me be!”
My room wasn't large, but it had the best view of all the rooms in the castle. I could watch the kingdom from my tower window. Even though I'd never stepped foot outside the castle, I knew the commoners’ daily routines.
I’d watch the townsfolk walk from the tailor, to the inn, to the stable. The Studer Kingdom was built on a peninsula, so the docks surrounded most of the city. I’d watch the ships come in and imagined sailing to faraway lands. The only other exit was blocked by a heavily guarded wall, but caravans would carry shipments in and out. When I watched the townsfolk, I made up stories about their lives.
Once Upon A Dystopia: An Anthology of Twisted Fairy Tales and Fractured Folklore Page 5