“Shhh…” He brought his finger to his lips, but he was smiling as he escorted her out of the room and closed the door. “If they wake up, I will never get to bid you goodnight. A glass of wine?”
Returning his smile, January found some relief in the fact that Etienne seemed to need a drink, too. “That would be a lovely way to end this wonderful day.”
Sitting down beside her with two glasses of Bordeaux, he tapped his rim to hers. “To our next date,” he toasted. “Without interruption.”
“To our next date.” After taking a couple of sips, she sat back to look at him. “That was very sweet—that you sang them to sleep.”
“I wrote that song for them,” he said proudly. “I sing it to them every night we are together.”
“You must miss them—touring…”
“In the summer, they come with me,” he explained. “My mother keeps an eye on them while I’m performing. Sometimes, they all go to the show. It’s worked so far.”
However, the question burned upon January’s lips. “They don’t mind seeing you with someone who isn’t their mother?”
“Sabine thinks I need to start dating,” he laughed. “And she’s convinced her sister. They’re not wild about Alice’s boyfriend. They think he’s boring.”
“I just…I didn’t want to upset them by being here.”
“They seem to like you.” Etienne lost his thought for a moment. “Listen, Janny, I’m sorry for all of this.”
“No, no, no,” she insisted, and he refilled her glass without bothering to ask if she’d like a second round. “It’s not your fault. And they’re sweet little girls.”
“Wait until they are awake.” He traced his thumb over the stem of his glass, but he didn’t look at her. “I don’t know what I’d do without them.”
His words touched January’s heart. She could already see that he had a deep love for his daughters. She hoped that, if he planned to have any kind of relationship with her, it wouldn’t interfere. However, this was merely a first date. She had no idea if he planned to even see her again. Maybe she was too American—or too gauche—for his French tastes.
“So, you enjoyed dinner?” Etienne changed the subject.
“I did. And I would go again.”
“Alice hated Algerian food. But why be bitter? I don’t ever have to share a meal with her again, right?”
“Are you still bitter?” Her fears surfaced. She hoped he wasn’t still carrying a torch for his ex-wife.
“Not so much,” he admitted. “And I must say that I had a delightful day with you.”
January watched as he scooted closer to her and draped his arm over the back of the couch. His fingers played softly with the wisps of her hair that had fallen over her eyes. Maybe he would kiss her again.
“Listen, Janny…” He wrinkled his forehead and then rubbed his temples. “I—I’m only…I have only a few more days in Paris…”
She just knew it! He didn’t want to see her again—the first man she’d held any sincere attraction for in years—and he just didn’t want her. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I’m going to be away until the middle of December,” he said with regret. “But I don’t want to lose this…this…how do you say it? This ambiance. This feeling between us today.”
“I—I agree…”
“Do you…maybe you have some time off?” he asked. “I don’t know your schedule, but you must be busy.”
The only real obligation she had was to Xavier, and now that the show was over, he didn’t need her so much. She had the Vogue shoot and interview, but that wouldn’t take up the next two months. “I think I can find some time. What did you have in mind?”
Again, he smiled. “I was hoping you would maybe want to come visit me on tour. See the show. Spend a few days. I get very lonely on the road. And right now, I know I’m going to miss you.”
His sweet words set her soul into a whirl. I know I’m going to miss you.
“Wha-at did you just say?” she stammered.
Now, Etienne was thoroughly amused. He knew her status in life. He understood the sexual circles in which she played. Seeing her flustered gave him a kick. “I asked if you might want to visit me while I am on tour. I mean, I could even get you a separate room, if—”
“No, the other part,” she interrupted him.
“I said I’d miss you while I am away.”
“Yeah…” She moved closer. She could feel her lips trembling. “That…”
“I think you need a goodnight kiss.”
As she closed her eyes, she felt his lips return to hers once again. While he continued to kiss her, his hands traced all over her face. He broke for just a moment to lap at her beauty mark that he’d been eyeing all day.
Etienne truly understood the art of seduction. She could already feel the soaking wet mess in her panties. Shit, she was ready to go fuck him in the nearest broom closet!
January couldn’t let this continue much longer. While she feared the girls would wake up, she had to get back to Xavier’s before he started to worry.
“I—” January broke away from his kiss. “I really need to go.”
“But, Janny, we just—”
“I know, but I—”
“Will you at least answer me? Just two questions.”
“Two questions?” At that point, she couldn’t even remember her name.
“Two,” he clarified. “One, will you have dinner with me tomorrow night? I can call the nanny to watch the girls.”
“Oh, I’d…I’d be honored.”
“And two…” His pause was lengthy. “Will you come visit me?”
“Yes,” she breathed. “Yes, I’ll come visit you.”
“Let me call you a car…”
After he hung up with the concierge, he turned to her again for just one more kiss. As his lips continued their exploration, she combed her nails through his short curls. She loved his hair. She loved his mouth. She didn’t want to leave him so quickly…
…and then the damn phone rang again. Her car was outside.
A pang of sadness struck him as he realized their day had come to an abrupt end. With the girls asleep in the room, he couldn’t even walk her to the lobby.
“Janny, I will see you tomorrow.”
He’d walked her to the foyer, where she stopped. “Etienne, thank you so much for today. I had such a spectacular time. You helped me forget about the real world for a few hours.”
“You helped me, too,” he said and just placed one more kiss on her smeared mouth. Usually, she wouldn’t dare to even leave the room without a touch-up, but that night, she didn’t give a damn. “And I can’t wait to spend more time with you.”
“Me, too, Etienne. Me, too…”
# # #
As January snuggled up to Etienne’s chest, she marveled over how so much had changed in their relationship since that first night in this same suite five years ago…and how much had remained the same.
Traditionally, she’d been the love ‘em and leave ‘em type, so the nuances of a long-term relationship were still new to her. January just wasn’t sure how things were supposed to transform with time. However, she loved him, and she knew that Etienne loved her back. Over the years, she’d also learned that there were times when one of them needed space. For a fleeting second, she felt as if she’d interrupted his life.
“What do you mean, what am I doing here?” She sat up suddenly and challenged him with her eyes. “Why didn’t you come straight to my apartment? You know, that little pied-à-terre that I bought over in the Latin Quarter as our secret love den?”
“You were supposed to be in New York finishing up that film,” he reminded her.
“Obviously, you’re ignoring my texts now, too, because I sent you a message, specifically telling you that I was catching an earlier flight.” And January was ready to pull out her phone to prove it to him. “Did you see it?”
“I—I guess I missed it.” Etienne couldn’t lie to her. “Wh
at did you want me to do, Janny? Break in and scare the shit out of you when I arrived home early?”
However, she wasn’t about to let him off the hook so easily. “So, it was just better that I found out you were coming back sooner than you anticipated from a photo a fan tweeted from the airport?”
“First, I did not realize you were back,” he spat. “And lucky for me that you follow my Twitter account.”
Son of a bitch. January was pissed at him. “What brought you home early? And why didn’t you just drop by my place?”
Yes, five years had passed, and while she trusted his commitment to her, the one thing that Etienne still had trouble deciding was the question of when they should officially move in together.
Right now, though, Etienne had to answer her questions. The truth sounded so lame, but he could never lie to her. January was too smart for that. He couldn’t even hide surprises from her because she always badgered him until he gave in. “Honestly, chérie, I have been with crowds of people for days. Interviews, meet and greets, concerts, meetings with the fucking record company. I’m drained.” He tossed his hands in the air as if he were out of words. “What else can I tell you? I wanted a night alone.”
Without thought, January ripped the blankets away and tore out of bed to find her bag. She had to put on some real clothes and get the fuck out of there. “You got it, Etienne. I’m leaving. You call me with an apology when you get the fuck out of this mood.”
The tight grip of his arms circling her waist locked her in his vise as he carried her back to the bed. He wasn’t about to allow her to go anywhere. “I said I was feeling tired. I said I wanted to have some time alone. I did not say that I wasn’t glad to see you.”
The truth of the matter was that he had to cut back. He couldn’t continue giving so much of himself to the public. He’d been running on empty now for several years, and January knew he needed some time away from the unique reality of the celebrity world.
However, she still wanted to leave, and she struggled against him.
“Don’t make me horny, January.”
“And don’t you try to make me laugh.”
“Janny!” he shouted and pinned her down to the mattress with his hands to her wrists. “Janny…?”
Kicking her legs, she shook her head. “Just let me go.” However, when she looked up at him, she saw the tenderness in his eyes. His touch softened and slackened. Silently, she could hear him pleading with her. “Let. Me. Go.”
“Janny, please stay,” he implored. “I missed you. And I love you.”
“Oh, you fucking French manwhore!” In truth, she found her own barriers eroding away with her anger. She didn’t want to go anywhere unless Etienne was with her. “Dammit, Etienne, I love you, too.”
“May I take you to dinner?” he asked, but he still refused to release her.
“Only if…” she began and circled her lips with her tongue. “… you fuck me again before we go…”
With a growl, he covered her body with his. “I think that can be arranged.”
Chapter Three
Long walks always soothed January’s sour moods. Etienne knew all of her favorite paths in the park and which blocks she preferred to stroll along the Seine. In fact, after five years, he had it down to a science.
That night, he knew he really upset her, which he hadn’t intended to do, but apologies didn’t work with January. Etienne already understood that he had to prove to her that he wasn’t hiding from her. Although he might have trained her in his expectations for her submission, she trained him on how to be her lover.
On her early visits to Paris, January had fallen passionately in love with the Latin Quarter. Etienne knew the route so well that he could walk it in his sleep. She always had to start out by the river, where tourists often crowded to take the perfect shots of Notre-Dame, rising regally above the island in the middle of the city.
Lingering at the vendor kiosks, January perused the stacks of vintage books and other antique trinkets. She always brought some sort of small treasure home with her. That evening, she found a bejeweled broach of costume jewelry caliber from the forties. Xavier would be jealous.
From there, they meandered over the twisting cobblestone streets where cheap gift shops were tucked in beside restaurants that served a buffet of global fare. To her delight, they witnessed a celebration at a Greek bistro, where guests broke plates upon the sidewalk.
Occasionally, one of their fans would stop them for autographs or photos. Etienne taught her to always oblige, but that night, he just wasn’t in the mood. He particularly didn’t appreciate it when an older woman asked him point blank when he planned to make an honest woman out of January.
All the way up the steep hill of St. Germain, January’s laughter echoed; the alternative was crying. That casual comment really cut to the heart of the matter.
When they reached Luxembourg Gardens, she pulled at Etienne’s hand. It was growing dark, but there were still plenty of people outside, enjoying the cool spring evening.
As they passed the colossal fountain in front of the Medici Palace, January had to stop for a second. During the day, children rented toy boats to sail in the murky waters. This was Sabine and Simone’s absolute favorite place in Paris when they were younger. They spent hours chasing those boats around.
Although she never considered herself mother material, January wondered how things might have been different, perhaps if they’d had their own child. The chances, though, were nil, given that Etienne had a vasectomy long before January entered his life. She just had to appreciate her relationship with his daughters.
Now thirteen and eleven, those two sweet little girls were growing up. January still had fun with them, and they often confided in her. Etienne loved that his daughters shared such a strong bond with January. She’d become a major part of their lives—a step-mother, in a sense.
Yes, January was his everything, except when it came down to legalities. On paper, she was still just his lover.
“Will you be seeing the girls this week?” she asked.
“Hopefully tomorrow.” He missed Sabine and Simone so much that he could swear he felt his heart ache every time he thought of them. “I’m sure they’d love to see you.”
At that moment, January had to let her anger go. Etienne and his fucking moods. He really did love her. He recognized her importance in his life. Sometimes, he was just difficult for the sake of being.
“I have gifts for them—from New York,” she said. “Maybe we can stop by my place after dinner?”
“Sounds like a nice way to end this evening.”
And then she lost him again. He held her hand, but she knew he wasn’t listening to a word she said. That, she understood, was his exhaustion. If he didn’t get his second wind after dinner, she knew she’d likely just have to make her way back to her damn apartment alone. At least Xavier was a night owl. He could survive on two hours of sleep. She could always call him.
“And here we are.” Etienne stepped aside to allow January to go first. “Your favorite.”
Brasserie Lipp was a staple in both the French literati set and Parisian society. Over a hundred years had passed since the restaurant first opened its doors, and January loved it for the parlor decor—that feeling of going to Grandma’s house for the holidays. With its gold accents, wall-sized mirrors and sparkling chandeliers, the restaurant certainly was reminiscent of a bygone era, and January lost herself in the brasserie’s lore. She always wondered who sat at their table previously. She could imagine the likes of Hemingway or Fitzgerald having a bite to eat and a stiff drink. This place always allowed her a few hours of escape.
Of course, Etienne ordered for them. He couldn’t catch her attention long enough to look at the menu. January was far too busy looking around and pretending that maybe they were star-crossed lovers in war-torn Paris…
“Janny!”
When he snapped his fingers in front of her face, she shook her head as if she were dizzy and
smiled. “You know I have to have my fantasies here.”
Etienne was starving, and he shook his head and rolled his eyes as he shoved a toast loaded with caviar into his mouth. “Have some!”
“Oh, maybe a bite…”
“How, chérie, can one have just one bite of caviar?” he wondered out loud. Since the resurgence in her career, January just didn’t eat, and Etienne had given up fighting with her. She had to keep her figure, especially now that she was in her mid-thirties. Her expiration date on the shelf life of Hollywood neared. “How was New York?”
She smiled as he reached out to take her hand in his. That tender touch still sparked her desires, even if they were going through a bit of a rough patch. “Lonely without you this time…”
He had brought the girls with him for the Christmas holidays the previous year. She made sure they saw the tree at Rockefeller Center and every last window display in the city. Those moments, as they always were, had been precious but fleeting.
“Ah, Alice and that stuffed suit get them for the holidays this year," he scowled. “Maybe I can steal them for Hanukkah.”
Perpetually scheming when it came to the girls, Etienne gave Alice a good fight. He wasn’t always around, but his time with them was just as important.
“So, I will see you tomorrow?” Her brashness shook him.
“Of course,” he insisted. “Why would I not see you?”
With a shrug of her shoulders, she pursed her lips. “I don’t know—your midlife crisis is interfering?”
“Janny, I told you already—you are my midlife crisis.” As their dinner arrived—smoked salmon and steamed broccoli for her and steak tartare for him—he felt like he needed a cigarette. But he’d given those up last year. “Give me a night, and let me sleep in, and I will be fine.”
She ate exactly one green floret and ignored the rest of her plate. “Then you’ll stay over with me?”
“I—okay. Okay,” he repeated as if to convince himself that it was the right thing to do.
“You know, we talked at Christmas about finding a place—together,” she reminded him. “Given any more thought to that?”
SMITTEN (Paris Après Minuit) Page 4