Carol thought seriously about that technique for a moment. "Gosh, I never thought of that method before. I can be forceful. Figuratively speaking, of course. Maybe I'll give it a try the next time we go out to sing karaoke, Diana."
Mark's lips twitched. I elbowed him under the table. Karaoke with Carol was an experience I wasn't looking forward to repeating.
"Sure, Carol. Okay, so they're on the boat. Andre's in hot pursuit, Marsha's playing hard to get," I said getting the conversation back on track.
Mark chimed in, "Weather's beautiful, and they have a long trip in front of them. What would make them both get off the boat?"
Then an image popped into my head. "Snorkeling!" I shouted triumphantly.
"What?" Carol and Mark said in unison.
"It explains everything. Andre talks Marsha into going snorkeling. Hey, it gets her into a bikini, right?"
"Makes sense," Mark agreed.
I continued excitedly, "They leave everything—phones, life preservers, dingy—because they're swimming with masks and flippers. Maybe they brought noodles to float on, but that's it."
"And the best snorkeling is going to be close to shore on one of those little islands," Mark replied.
I looked over at Mark with tears in my eyes. "Mark, they're alive, aren't they?"
"It's just a theory. A really good theory," he added with a smile. "Let me make some calls. The rescuers need to focus on the islands within snorkeling distance. And I take back my Columbo comment. We might make an agent out of you yet." He gave me a wink as he left the table.
"This is good news," Carol said, squeezing my arm.
I nodded. "Oh, I hope so. Let's talk about something else for a minute. I'm about to jump out of my skin."
"You want to talk a little business then?" Carol reached into her bag and pulled out a sheaf of papers.
"Sure."
"So, I have August's numbers with me. I think you're going to be impressed."
I looked at the P&L statement. "We're billing ten thousand hours a week? What were we billing this time last year?" The staffing service used weekly hours billed to measure success.
"Less than five." Carol flashed me a wide smile.
"Impressive! Most of this is light industrial hours at Personal Manufacturing?"
"Yes. LID has a lower gross profit margin because of the higher worker comp costs. But we're billing Personal Manufacturing at a thirty-six percent markup, which isn't too shabby. You'll notice average dollars per hour is close to three."
"Nice!" The numbers were amazing. After expenses, we were bringing in nearly 20K a week.
"So, we need to protect this account. Give it lots of love. Make it impossible for a competitor to come in and undercut us."
"How do we do that?"
"We make every supervisor, manager, director, and janitor love working with us. We're there every day handling problems as they come up, eating birthday cake with the masses, and attending all their events."
I sighed. "Sounds like more time than either of us have right now."
Carol nodded. "I think a long-term solution is to hire an on-site supervisor. It will be a pretty big investment."
"But you still want me to work there for a month or so and set everything up?"
"Yep. Figure out the ropes, lay the groundwork, etc. I'll work on finding someone full-time. Are you still going to be ready to start Monday?"
I nodded. "I hope so. They have someone in custody in Miami. There's a chance he'll give up The Spider during the interrogation."
Carol grasped my hand. "Oh, Diana, I hope so. I can't stand you being in constant danger. Every time my phone rings, I worry it's bad news about you." There were tears in her eyes.
I put my hand over hers. "I know. I just want this to be over. Thanks for being such a great friend and partner."
Mark interrupted us. "Just got off the phone with the officer in charge of the scene. He agreed to stop the scene assessment and start searching the closest islands. There are only three islands within swimming distance. He said they hadn't looked there yet, because it would've been too far to swim without life jackets. But if they'd been out snorkeling with flippers and noodles, there's a good chance they could have made it that far. He also said the anchor had been down when the ship exploded. The working theory up to now was that they were fishing."
I clapped my hands and let out a big sigh. "It does make sense! When will we know for sure?"
"Hopefully within a couple of hours. Guess it's time we hit the road."
"You're not going back to your condo, are you?" Carol asked with concern.
I glanced over at Mark. "I'm voting for a super deluxe hotel on the water, but I'm sure he has other ideas."
Mark looked a little uncomfortable. "You're not going to like it, but I talked to your sister earlier and—"
"Don't even finish that sentence!" I growled.
Mark held up his hands. "It makes sense. We spend the night there and wait for news from Miami. This way we avoid the press. They live out in the middle of nowhere, and Dan's armed to the teeth."
I shook my head. "No way! That place is a zoo."
"Max is there," Mark wheedled. "I know he misses his mama."
"I'm sure he's happy as a pig in mud at Ashley's. Plenty of choice crumbs for the pickin'." I knew I was being stubborn. But my sister's house was bad. Really bad.
"It sounds like a good option," Carol said. "If you go to another motel, you might be recognized. Out at your sister's, you'd be safe."
Mark added, "We won't tell The Parents or The Grands."
Fat chance on that one. "My mom will sniff me out in an hour."
"Ashley said your mom is staying at the beach and shopping at the outlets for the next two days," Mark said.
I knew I was whooped, but I wasn't going to give in gracefully. "You just have all the answers, don't you Mr. Smartypants? Well, I hope you enjoy the couch that smells like dogs and pee. Don't worry, you'll have a couple of naked Barbies stabbing you in your back to keep you company."
"Better than your big, ol' cold feet," he shot back.
Carol howled. I couldn't help but laugh. My feet were size ten blocks of ice even in the summer.
Mark leaned over and kissed me. Debate over.
We finished lunch with lighter hearts and headed out to the parking lot.
Carol took one look at the subcompact and said, "This is a joke, right?"
"Nope," I replied.
"You two have been driving around in that thing?"
We nodded.
Carol continued to stare at the car. "So, this thing's not going to blow up on me when I get in, is it?"
"Probably not," Mark said, holding the door open for her.
Carol grimaced as she folded herself in. "You're definitely going to owe me a karaoke evening after this, Diana."
Ugh! Not that. But I smiled and nodded. Anything that got us out of that poor excuse for a car.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The smell of roasting meat assailed my nostrils as we bumped down the long, rutted lane to my sister's light blue double-wide. It wasn't unpleasant and definitely not unexpected. My brother-in-law made Grizzly Adams look like a wimp. If he had his way, my sister and he would be living off the land in a cabin in Alaska. Unfortunately for him, my sister pretty much wore the pants in the family, and she may be okay with dead animals in her yard, but she wasn't budging on indoor plumbing.
We'd each inherited a chunk of change from our Great Aunt Betty. I'd put mine down on a tiny condo in Annapolis, and my sister had bought two acres of land a few miles from our childhood home and plunked down an ostentatious double-wide. In this neck of the woods, it was considered a real dream home, complete with fake wood paneling, garden tub, and built-in stereo system. Despite having met all of my family at different events, this was Mark's first visit to Ashley's.
We'd see how excited he was about staying for a few days once he got a look around.
We pulled up beside my siste
r's minivan. I looked into the backyard and groaned.
"What?" Mark asked.
I pointed. "It's deer season. Looks like he got one."
Ashley's backyard looked like a photo shoot for a hunting magazine. Two deer targets were strategically placed in the yard. Archery gear lay strewn about in untidy heaps. The highlight of the scene was a headless carcass tied by the feet to a low hanging tree branch.
My brother-in-law gave us a bloody wave. He was shirtless and wearing a big white butcher's apron, surgical gloves, and hunting boots. "Ain't she a beauty?" he bellowed.
"He looks like a surgeon just finishing up a heart transplant," Mark remarked, waving back.
"I was thinking serial killer."
"I can see that," Mark agreed. "Hope he's got something on under that apron."
"You never can tell."
We walked towards him as he continued to wave.
"Hey, there, Sis! Good to see the boogeyman ain't gotcha yet," he guffawed.
"Thanks, Dan."
He put a bloody hand to his side and pulled back the long apron. Thankfully, he was wearing a pair of cut off work pants underneath. He pointed to a holstered gun.
"I got your back, Sis. Anyone come out here makin' funny business, and I'll exercise my God given rights right between their eyes." He spit a stream of tobacco on the ground. "Your sister's got a loaded shotgun by the backdoor. They ain't gettin' far if they come on this here property."
Mark raised an eyebrow. "You have a permit to carry?"
"Sure do. Easier than ya might think," Dan replied proudly.
"I can see that."
Ashley came out the screened porch wiping her hands on a rag. Her nutty yellow Lab, Sally, galloped towards me. Oh, no. Not again.
"Look out, Sis," Dan warned. "That dog's got her eye on ya."
Sally loved me so much that she felt the need to demonstrate her devotion to me by licking my face even if it meant tackling me. Which is what usually happened. Sure enough Sally took a flying leap at me, but this time I was ready. I dodged to the side, and she missed. Her big paws connected squarely with Mark's gut.
"What the—" Mark sucked in his breath and went down with a thump.
Sally proceeded to lick his face and stomp all over his chest. Her tail wagged furiously.
"Looks like she likes you, Uncle Mark."
Max came trotting down from the porch towards me. He looked a little worse for wear, but his tail was wagging, and he reached up to give me a hug. Yes. The dog actually gave hugs. I hugged him to me. "You smell like bacon and perfume." I looked at his face. Uh-oh. "What happened to your hair, boy?"
He sat back down and gave me a loud bark.
My sister walked over. "Tiffany decided to give him a makeover. She talked him into it with bacon. I'm guessing he's wearing my perfume." Ashley took a closer look. "And my lipstick."
"Look at his fur, Ashley. Half his beard is gone."
"Yeah. She put in pony tails which seemed okay, but then she got hold of a pair of scissors." Ashley sighed. "You should see her hair."
I rolled my eyes and counted to ten. "I don't care about her hair. Look what she did to my dog." Max's normally long, fluffy white beard had been cut to the chin on one side and left hanging on the other. "He looks ridiculous."
"So have the groomer even it up."
"Even it up? Really?"
"He's just a dog. He doesn't know he looks stupid."
Max growled, and we both looked down at him. He glared at Ashley and whined at me.
I bent down and picked him up. "We'll make you pretty again, boy. It's okay." I decided to let it go for now since I was at her sisterly mercy for the next couple I days. Instead, I brought Ashley up to speed on the search for Andre and Marsha.
Mark walked over to join the conversation and did a double-take. "Geez! What happened to him?"
"Tiffany gave him a makeover." I put Max down.
"Might want to steer her away from beautician school, Ashley," Mark replied.
"No shit, Mark."
"It's like we're related already," Mark quipped.
"Really? Because I didn't take you for the marrying kind."
Ouch! I felt a little sorry for Mark. But this was his idea.
"That's why I'm here," he spread his arms wide. "You're going to show me what I'm missing, right?"
Ashley snorted and started to reply when Dan cut in. "Hey, hon, get me a plate. I'm gonna pull out the tenderloins. Grill 'em for Sis tonight."
He gave us a big grin and held out a thick stringy piece of meat. Ashley turned on her heel without a word and headed for the kitchen.
"Nice one." I smiled at Mark. "But you'd better watch out. She's been a little touchy lately about her lack of marital bliss."
"I can handle her. I have a sister, too."
* * *
While Mark hung out with Dan, I went inside to check on the guest accommodations. I wasn't holding my breath. I knew Ashley worked all day at cleaning and cooking, but it always looked like a tornado had just blown in her front door. Legos pieces, Barbie clothes, and Cheerios littered the mauve carpet. The blue couch was covered with laundry and SpongeBob droned away on the TV. My nephews, Justin and Josh, raced past me with a hurried hello as I walked towards the kitchen, which was large and usually the most organized space in the house. Unfortunately, it was decorated with teddy bears. Everywhere. The wall boarder, the canister set, right down to the salt and pepper shakers. Why a grown woman would want to work all day surrounded by teddy bears was beyond me.
"Want me to take a plate out to Dan?" I asked.
"Already sent Justin out with one. Your man's got some sass to him." She chopped an onion expertly and scraped it into a hot pan.
"Hey, you asked for it."
"I know. I know." Ashley held up her hand. "Don't get me wrong. I like Mark. But he's a little flighty. Real estate developer or CIA agent? Which is it? You need a man who knows his own mind." She nodded sagely.
"Like Dan?" Hey, she left me wide open. I couldn't resist.
Ashley stared at her cutting board for a few seconds. "You got me there. This is what happens when you marry right outta high school." She waved her arms around the kitchen.
I looked at all the cheery bears staring at us. "You mean the bad decorating job?"
Ashley cut her eyes at me. "No. I wasn't referring to that specifically. What the hell do you have against bears?"
"Nothing. Except they look stupid in a kitchen."
Ashley opened her mouth to say something and then shut it. She looked around the room as if she was seeing it for the first time. "Ohmigod! They do look stupid. What was I thinking?" She dropped her knife and wandered around the room. "And pink and blue bears at that."
She looked over at me; I shrugged. "Maybe it's time for some new wallpaper." I was starting to feel bad for my sister. This decorating epiphany seemed to have deeper roots.
"I need a new everything." She looked out the window at Dan. He was hosing off the deer carcass and making Mark laugh. One bloody gloved hand gripped a Budweiser.
"I don't think I'm in love with Dan anymore, Diana," she said in a rush.
"Ashley, you guys just need a little more alone time."
Ashley shook her head vehemently. "No, we don't. I had plenty when we went to The Renaissance Fair in the spring. We just don't have anything in common anymore. And I don't get butterflies when I look at him. Usually, I just want to slap him."
I couldn't argue with that, but I thought Ashley was being a little hasty. "Didn't you miss him while you were on tour with me the last few weeks? Wasn't he glad to see you when you got back?"
She brightened a little at this. "Okay, he did have a bouquet of flowers for me when he picked me up at the airport. And the house was clean, but that was Mom's doing. Come to think of it the flowers might've been too." Ashley furrowed her brow.
I wouldn't put it past my mom. She was no dummy. She knew if Ashley and Dan split up, things would go from a visit to Grandma's
to living with Grandma in a flash. A no-go in my mom's book. She was determined to keep the flame burning for these two.
"How about trying a marriage counselor?"
"Dan said the same thing, but I'm not interested in having some know-it-all tell me about myself." Ashley sighed and walked back over to the sink.
"Way to keep an open mind, Ashley."
She stuck her tongue out at me.
"Hey, but it's pretty impressive Dan suggested it."
"I agree. He's definitely got a soft side, and I know he loves me. I just feel so caged in right now. I'd hoped going on tour with you would've helped get it out of my system, but honestly it's worse than it was." There was a little catch in her voice as she scrubbed potatoes in the sink.
"I'm here for a couple of days at least. Why don't the two of you go out somewhere tonight? Somewhere you'd like to go." I couldn't believe I'd uttered the words aloud.
She raised her brows at me. "You're volunteering to babysit?"
I nodded, afraid if I spoke it would come out in a whimper.
A light came into Ashley's eye. "I could wear that dress I bought in Miami. Maybe we could go see a country band. I bet there's someone playing at that bar in Milford. Wow, thanks Diana! I feel better already."
"You're welcome," I choked out. I wondered how Mark would feel about babysitting.
Mark walked into the room and did a double-take. He stared at the teddy bear-infested kitchen. "What's with all the bears?"
I winced, wondering how Ashley would take the additional insult to her decorating abilities.
A second passed, and then Ashley raised a spatula in the air. "Exactly, Mark! What's with all the bears? They're part of the past, and they've gotta go." She slammed down the spatula and grabbed a knife. She dug the knife into the wallpaper and ripped the heads off a dozen bears. She flung the wallpaper to the floor.
Dan walked in behind Mark. "I'm putting everything on the grill in fifteen minutes, and…" he stared at the mess and the knife in Ashley's hand. "Everything okay in here, hon?"
Ashley pointed the knife at Dan. "Now listen here. I want to be romanced the way you used to when we were dating." She shook her head. "No—better than that. I want a real relationship. Not just sex and help folding the laundry. Diana and Mark are babysitting for us tonight, and we're going out dancing."
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