"Hey, you'll get used to it. The first time’s the hardest. After that, it ain't nothing. Got a job yet?"
"Nothing I'll retire on, but it'll do for now."
"Ain't like the old days, huh?"
Adrian constricted a little. "No, it's not like the old days." Adrian had known that Angelo was leading up to this from the moment he called. Putting it off any longer would only prolong the tense knot that was growing in the pit of his stomach. Even though he'd rather Jennifer wasn't in the next room where she could hear, he needed to get down to business.
"Angie," he said, "We’ve known each other a long time, and I've never known you to make small talk over backgammon. What're we doing here?"
Angelo burst into laughter. "You're a real piece of work, no shit." Then he became the serious man Adrian had always known. "You're right. This ain't no social call, so I'll knock off the bullshit. My friends and I appreciate you keeping your mouth shut and doing the right thing. The reason I'm here is to show you our appreciation."
He threw his attaché case onto the table, and opened it.
"Okay, here’s what’s up. Got a hundred grand in cash and a kilo of blow to get you back on your feet again. Take it, use it, and pay us back in a reasonable amount of time. Ain't gonna charge you no juice, no nothin'. It's yours to work with."
A thousand thoughts and images ricocheted through Adrian's mind all at once. Angelo had inadvertently placed the attaché case right next to Adrian's four hundred-and-forty-three-dollar take-home check, which he'd placed next to a picture of himself, Jennifer, Andy and Andy's grandparents. This was not coincidence; it represented the choice that would govern the rest of his life.
Adrian looked at the attaché case and saw Paulie Lapienza's blood-splattered corpse lying on a stretcher with a sheet over it. He saw the bloodied body of Paulie's girlfriend on a stretcher beside it. He glanced at the paycheck, and remembered how he had snorted that much coke in a night, and how it hadn't added anything to his life but trouble. He looked at the picture of Andy, and remembered times when Andy had wanted to go for rides with him, but couldn't because he was going out on business. He saw the coke and remembered how it had slowly gained control of him, his life, and had become the motivating force behind everything he did. He remembered all the times he had run out of it in the middle of the night and had wanted more, but couldn't get it. He looked at the picture, and thought of all the pain he had caused the people in it. He looked back at the money and remembered all the times he had worried about getting ripped off, and all the deals that had been forced to carry a gun. He looked at the check and knew he'd never have to worry about getting robbed, or who he could trust, or who was listening in on his phone because of what he did for a living. He remembered what it had been like to hear the slamming of a cell door for the first time – and the last time - and he remembered all the nights he had lain awake in his cell, reflecting on what had put him there. He remembered Billings, Atkins, and guys like Benton Fulmer.
He remembered a lot of other things, too. He remembered seeing Jennifer sitting a few feet away from him, looking beautiful, but not being able to touch her because of the glass divider that stood between them. He remembered what it felt like watching her leave without him. He remembered the sound of children laughing, especially the sound of the one very special child he'd thought he might never see again...
He feared his thoughts might be consuming too much time, so he set them aside and turned to Angelo.
"I really appreciate you thinking of me, Angie. Not everyone has been that grateful."
"Hey, you looked out for us, now we’re looking out for you."
"Thanks, Angie. I mean that." And now he’d have to proceed delicately. "Trouble is, it's not a secret anymore. The government knows who I am, and they know what I do. On top of that, they tried to get me all thirty years. All they got was ten, and even that got cut in half. I know they'll be watching. And with that, there would be heat on everyone I did business with, including you.
"Why don't we lay off for a year or so, and give them time to forget about me? After that, we'll see what happens."
“You telling me to wait? To wait? What’re you, crazy? You’re not dealing with some schoolboy here. You start doing things with me, you stay with me!”
Adrian hadn’t expected this. He figured his dues had been paid and that would be that. But he also knew he had to keep cool. He tried to remain calm and to speak in a civil tone.
“I kept my mouth shut and went away for you. Now all I want is a normal life with my family.”
Angelo’s voice dropped, and became almost deadly. “Kid, there ain’t gonna be no normal life. Say no to me, you can start lookin’ over your shoulder an’ worryin’ about things that go bump in the night. That goes for your family, too.”
Wrong thing to say. In a fit of rage, Adrian slapped the attaché case aside. “You telling me they’re not safe? Huh? You’d do that to them?” He grabbed Angelo and slammed him against the wall. “Huh? Is that what you’d do?”
Jennifer and Andy rushed in from the next room. In near panic she said, “Adrian, stop! You’ll make it worse!”
By now, Adrian had lost it. The real Adrian had left the building and a maniac had taken his place. All the anger, the outrage, the injustice that had built up during his time in prison came roaring to the surface. “Worse? I’ll give him worse!”
Turning back to Angelo, he screamed, “I put my life on hold, spent years locked away from my family to protect you, and that’s not enough?How about if you’re not around to come after them?”
Angelo heaved against Adrian, and managed to break free long enough to pull out a pistol. Adrian slapped it away, and backhanded him to the floor. He snatched up a steak knife from the dish drainer, dropped down on top of Angelo, and pressed it to his throat.
Andy couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “Dad, what’re you
doing!!”
Ignoring his son, Adrian’s focus remained on Angelo. “You’re going to cut a deal with me or you’re not leaving here.”
Almost choking, Angelo spat, “You just signed your death warrant, my friend”.
“Then maybe I’ll get my money’s worth before I go.”
“Bullshit! And put that knife away, you won’t use it.”
Adrian paused, thought. ”Know what, you’re right. Jennifer, get me that attaché case.”
“Adrian, you can’t—“
“Just get it, okay!”
Andy was rigid with fear and disbelief.“Dad, why? Why are you doing this?”
Reluctantly, Jennifer handed him the attaché case. Still kneeling on Angelo, he pulled out the kilo of cocaine, broke it open, and pulled out a large rock the size of a golf ball. Forcing Angelo’s mouth open, he stuffed the rock inside without allowing his mouth to close on it.
“That’s enough to kill a horse,” he said. “Heard it’s a tough way to go, too. First you begin to suffocate, and then your heart and lungs lose their ability to function. In the end you can’t breathe, and then you have a heart attack. You want that, or you want to cut a deal?”
He watched as Angelo’s wheels turned. It was almost like watching RJ all over again.
“You’re wasting time, Angie. That stuff’s already starting to break down inside your mouth. Another minute, it’ll be too late.”
Angelo tried to break free, but Adrian had him secured. “I wouldn’t if I were you. That rock crumbles, you’ll inhale enough in one breath to finish you. What’s it gonna be?”
No answer. Angelo refused to give in. But Adrian could the faintest signs of panic in his eyes. Angelo struggled to break free again, but Adrian held him firmly, clamping his hand over Angelo’s mouth and nose. “Meter’s running, Angie. How long can you hold your breath?”
His face turning red, Angelo finally nodded his agreement.
Even so, Adrian wouldn’t free him. “I dunno if I can really believe you? I thought we were friends and look what you did, even after I went
away for you.”
Angelo, eyes bulging, desperately nodded ‘yes’. After pausing a moment, Adrian finally yanked him to his feet, spun him around, allowing him to spit the chunk of cocaine into the sink.
Fighting for breath, he gasped, “You son of a bitch! You sonofabitch!!”
Adrian felt no pity for him. “Just make sure you keep your end of the deal. And if you do come after me and miss, I’ll hunt you down, I’ll find you, and it won’t be to talk. Now get out!” Angelo choked, took several deep breaths, then grabbed his things and left. Adrian held on to his pistol.
When he was gone, Jennifer held Andy close to her and asked the obvious question.“What if he comes after you? Or sends someone?”
“He won’t. He knows I’d be more trouble than I’m worth. He took his shot, and I said no. Besides, he knows I’m not a snitch. He’ll find some young gun who thinks he has it all figured out, and he'll start doing business with him.”
“So it’s over?”
“Yes, it’s over.”
Andy stared at his father. “Dad, I never saw you like that before.”
Adrian looked down at his son. The last thing he’d ever wanted was for Andy to see that side of him. But it had happened, and now he had to live with it.
“Remember the men you asked me about, the ones who sometimes came to our house, the ones that made mama afraid? That was one of them. I wanted him out of our life and he wouldn’t go. And unless those men go away we can’t start our new life together.”
Andy seemed to reflect, as if digesting it. Finally, he said, “I'm glad you're home, dad. I really missed you. I was afraid I'd never see you again.”
“I promised I'd be back.” He looked closely at Andy, as if seeing him all over again. “You've grown, and I'm proud of you.”
Andy shrugged. This conversation was unexpected, and wasn’t easy for him. “You were gone for a long time, dad. I'm gonna be seven!” The comment reminded Adrian of just how long it had been, which was too long. Andy had been four when he’d left; he was almost seven now. “Maybe now you can come to my birthday party.”
“You better believe I’m coming!” Even so, Adrian sensed something was bothering Andy. “What’s wrong big guy? You want to talk?”
“Can you and mom tell me something?”
Adrian was mildly taken back. “Sure.”
“When you left, mama told me you were going away to school. Can you tell me what really happened?”
Adrian looked at Jennifer. This was the one question they had feared he’d ask some day, but not this soon. He took a deep breath and shrugged, as if to say, ‘Might as well tell him’.
She nodded reluctantly.
Adrian placed his hand on his son’s shoulder. “Let’s take a walk, Andy. There are some things that happened to me, and you need to know about them. Maybe that way, they won't happen to you some day...”
- THE END -
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