by Jaime Reese
Jessie nodded.
"And it's my understanding you didn't go with our recommended trauma therapist, but you are speaking with a…Dr. Engel. So everything seems to be in order."
"When can I go home?" Jessie croaked then cleared his throat, still battling with the random slight hoarseness of his voice after the removal of the breathing tube. Aidan instinctively reached over, pouring a cup of water for him. Jessie smiled as he took the cup and a small sip.
"Not until you're able to walk and handle the basics on your own, so it'll be a few weeks. We can discharge you and set you up with home visits with a nurse, but I would prefer knowing you can walk down the hallway here without help. Okay?"
Jessie nodded.
"Any other questions?"
He tugged on the edge of the bedsheet again.
"Jess, tell him about the nightmares," Aidan said.
He looked up at Aidan, his cheeks heating as a flood of memories of the last few nights took center stage in his mind. The nightmares seemed to haunt him and only lessened if Aidan held his hand while he slept. Something about Aidan's strong, firm, yet gentle touch seemed to give him the support he needed to guard himself against the monster that always came to him in the darkness.
Dr. Green crossed his arms. "Nightmares or hallucinations?"
"Only happens when I'm sleeping so I'm guessing nightmares."
"Is that common?" Aidan asked.
"Some patients have reported similar issues. It's a possible side effect from the sedatives we administered during the coma, but they'll lessen with time. Have you mentioned it to your trauma therapist?"
He nodded.
"Okay, so we're covering it on both fronts. We need to monitor the change there as well."
Jessie sighed. Wonderful. Until then he'd have to deal with that damn monster laughing and reaching for him when he tried to get some sleep, even though the demon wasn't really there.
The doctor proceeded to make additional notes in the chart. "I'm adding more time to your physical therapy schedule so we can work on building your muscle strength back up. But I don't want you pushing things too quickly and risking your recovery. It's important you take your pain meds if your ribs cause any discomfort with your therapy. That's why they're there."
Jessie nodded again.
Dr. Green silently watched him, probably gauging how much his nodding was an actual agreement or dismissal. The doctor finally turned away and deposited the chart in the holder on his way out the door, leaving him alone in the room with Aidan.
Aidan pulled the chair closer to Jessie's bed. "Cole sent a text. He's coming over in a bit. Did you want me to sneak something up from the cafeteria before he gets here?"
He smiled at the mischievous glint in Aidan's eyes. "Nancy said I should stick with the diet until I start walking around a bit, but I would totally steal fries if you get that burger from downstairs again today."
"I know, right? I think they lace those things with something. They're addictive as hell," Aidan said with a smile. "I was going to grab that tonight for dinner. I've got a forensics cleaning crew going by your apartment today, so I want to be there while they do their thing so I can lock up afterward."
"Can you bring me a change of clothes so I have something when I finally get out of here?"
Aidan lowered his head and his jaw clenched.
Jessie reached out and placed his hand on Aidan's forearm, hoping to ease the sudden tension. "What's wrong?"
"I'm going over to your apartment to make sure it's cleaned up. I don't want you going back to the way we left it. But I don't want to go through your things. That's…" Aidan reached up and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Personal?"
Aidan nodded. "I know how you are about your space."
"And I know how you respect that. So I'm not worried about it because it's you. Okay?"
Aidan nodded again, a hint of a smile washed over his features.
"Shorts are in the drawer in the dresser. I'm guessing that'll be easier with the leg cast. That one's not coming off anytime soon."
"Okay. Anything else?"
"My phone and charger…and my laptop with the portable external hard drive. They should be in my office, either on the desk or the top drawer on the left hand side. I need to check my emails and I need to touch base with a few of my clients so they know I'm not available for any consulting work for a while. Damn," he said, rubbing his eyes. "And I need my mail so I can check the bills that have come in."
"I…um, took care of your rent for the month."
Jessie's gaze snapped up to Aidan. "Why did you do that?"
Aidan looked…uncomfortable. "After the investigators released your apartment I had the locks replaced and the building maintenance guy was there. I didn't want there to be an issue with your lease so I paid the rent and monthly fee."
He reached out for Aidan's hand, hoping to settle the discomfort between them. "Thank you. I appreciate that. But I've got that covered. I promise."
Aidan nodded. "I'm paying for the cleaning crew."
A smile tugged at his lips. "Thank you."
Aidan nodded again. "Anything else?"
"I…I want to shave before Cole gets here. My face doesn't feel swollen anymore, so, I…I want to shave." The facial hair was really getting to him, especially knowing he couldn't grow out an even beard. Everyone had been so keen on keeping any mirror away that he wasn't sure what he'd see staring back at him.
"Okay." Aidan helped shift him into a sitting position, moving the pillows to help secure him in place. He hated feeling dependent, but the cast on his arm didn't grant him enough balance to do certain things on his own yet. Aidan disappeared into the bathroom and returned moments later with a small plastic kidney-shaped container with water and a shaving kit.
"I want a mirror," Jessie said, trying to control the slight tremble in his voice. Others had acted as if he hadn't spoken when he'd requested to see his reflection, but he hoped Aidan wouldn't balk as well.
Aidan's brow lowered. He hesitated for a moment, stepped away, then returned with a mirror in hand.
Jessie took a deep breath before finally looking at his reflection. He inhaled sharply at the faint, lingering bruises yellowing his skin. A slight scar cut through his eyebrow and one of the whites of his eyes was still red, making the light blue of his eyes stand out even more. His hair was a mess, sticking up in all directions and the patchy beard just added to the unkempt appearance that made him cringe.
"Shit," he cursed under his breath. He grabbed the shaving cream and held it in the casted hand and unsuccessfully tried to dispense some into his good hand to start the process. Aidan took the bottle from his hand and squeezed out enough foam into Jessie's hand to silence the groan of frustration. Jessie lathered his face then wiped his hand on the towel, snatching the razor in one hand and the mirror in the hand with the cast. Another groan escaped when he couldn't lift the mirror high enough to see his reflection to guide the razor.
"Jess, I know you want to do this on your own, but please let me help you."
He set the mirror down and wet the razor in the water, knowing the planes of his face enough to shave without that unfamiliar reflection staring back at him. He reached up and swiped the razor down the side of his face then rinsed the blade in the water, repeating the process. He angled his hand to swipe under his neck and stopped when Aidan firmly held his good wrist.
"Your hand is shaking, and you're trying to shave with your non-dominant hand."
Jessie pulled away, angry at himself more than anything. He had to be in control. He had to be independent. There was no other option. He held the razor again at an awkward angle and brushed the edge against his jawline. He winced when the now cut skin burned. "Dammit."
Aidan stood and carefully took the razor from his hand, then rinsed the blade. He grabbed the towel and dipped the edge into the water then patted the blood away as he spoke in that soothing, gentle tone he used that always made Jessie cave to what
ever he requested. "You're going to have plenty of time to do this on your own. Until then, let me help you. If you don't want anyone else helping you, that's fine. But let me."
Jessie swallowed heavily, fighting the need to rebel for independence. Without waiting for his permission, Aidan leaned over and held his chin, guiding Jessie's head upward as he shaved his neck. He closed his eyes as those rough fingers gripped his chin and gently caressed his cheek, guiding his face as the cool blade ran against his skin. He couldn't control his hands enough to shave, and now, it seemed he couldn't control other parts of his body either. His blood heated and his dick slightly hardened. How the hell his prick didn't get the drug-numbing memo was beyond him. The splash of water drew his focus as another swipe along his face and brush of fingers against his jawline comforted him. It didn't take much effort to will his body to calm with all the painkillers coursing through his veins. Relief didn't quite sum up how thankful he was to confirm that not all parts of his anatomy had suffered from the attack.
"There." Aidan pressed the towel to Jessie's cheeks and neck.
"Thanks."
Aidan gathered the items and retreated to the bathroom, returning with a hairbrush that seemed like a gift from the gods. Jessie quickly grabbed the brush and stroked his hair, taming the mess he wished he could wipe from his memory.
"Anything else before Cole steamrolls in here?"
He smiled. "I'm good. Are you taking a break when he gets here?"
"You're getting all polished up for him and now you want some alone time with him, too?"
Jessie's cheeks heated again. "Smartass."
Aidan chuckled and returned the brush to the bathroom. "I've got a benchmark meeting at the precinct, and I've got to get some fresh clothes before I stop by your apartment. I'm sure he'll talk your ear off long enough until I get back."
"You can take a break, you know. You don't have to stay here all day and night." He looked up and tried to steel his features, hoping he hadn't revealed how much he wanted Aidan, especially when the nightmares were in full force.
"People say I'm stubborn." Aidan sighed as he sat in the chair at the small round table in the corner. "I've already told you, it's not a problem."
"But your work—"
"Is totally under control. They've got me chained to my laptop and this chair at their beck and call whenever they want to ring me in or pick my brain. It's fine."
Jessie exhaled, relief pouring through his aching body.
"Now, if you want me to go because I'm annoying the shit out of you—"
"You're not. I just don't…"
"Don't what?"
Jessie's focus snapped to Aidan. The concern staring back at him made his heart beat faster. "I don't want to be a bother," he said, looking away. A bother, a burden, it was all the same thing. He hated feeling this way.
"You're not."
"You spoil me."
"I want to."
Jessie looked up and his lips parted on a quiet gasp at the intensity in those hazel eyes before Aidan turned away, busying himself with the folders on the table.
Two quick, hard knocks sounded at the door, signaling Cole's arrival.
"Come in," Aidan called out, rising from the chair and stuffing a stack of folders into his bag.
Jessie bit back a grin. Aidan couldn't escape fast enough when Cole was in the same space.
"Wow…look at you. Aren't you all polished up, little man!"
"Don't call me that," Jessie grumbled through a smile, happy as hell to see Cole's smiling face.
Cole grabbed the chair next to Jessie's bed and flipped it around, leaning his crossed arms along the back. He looked over to Aidan. "Are you hanging around or are you working on your escape?"
Aidan peered up as he dug into his duffle bag. "Escaping from you. How long are you staying?"
"Until Jessie gets tired of hearing me yak away. When are you coming back?"
"I need at least two and a half hours," Aidan said, slinging the bag over his shoulder. "If you can't stay that long, let my guard at the door know."
"I can easily talk a hell of a lot longer than that. Now get the hell out of here so we can talk shit about you."
Aidan sighed. "Jess, anything else before I go?"
"I'm good."
Aidan stared down at Cole and pointed a finger at him. "Don't give him a hard time."
"I'll behave," Cole said with a huff of amusement.
Aidan exited the room, grumbling something that sounded remotely like a curse.
Jessie flattened the sheet on his thighs again, trying to busy himself with anything to do while lying in bed. "You enjoy driving him crazy."
"It's the only way I can get him to show any sort of emotion. He's a tough nut to crack."
"I want to crack that nut," Jessie mumbled before realizing he'd said that out loud.
"I bet you do," Cole said with a chuckle.
Jessie's cheeks burned as he ducked his head.
Cole rested his chin on his crossed arms. "I'm glad to see you're not shying away from him anymore. I think he needs that."
"Why's that?"
Cole shrugged. "He's standoffish, but I think it's part of that whole fuck-off-and-leave-me-alone-so-you-don't-know-the-real-me type of thing. These Calloway men are guarded and keep to themselves. But when you get them to open up…"
"Yeah?"
"It's a beautiful thing."
"You're very poetic. I think Ty's rubbing off on you."
"He rubs off on me, but that makes me horny not poetic." Cole finished with a guffaw.
Jessie shook his head. "You're impossible."
Cole quieted, leaning forward and focusing his mismatched eyes with intensity. "And you're crazy in love with Aidan and horny as hell. Go crack that nut already."
"He's… I don't know…"
"Tough. Stubborn. I can do this all day."
Jessie sighed.
"He's been here every day. He didn't even trust me to stay with you at first, only Hunter. You didn't see him those first few days." Cole straightened in the seat and lowered his brow. "Or hear his voice that first night. He sounded…broken somehow. I don't know how else to explain it. But fuck me, I didn't know what to do so I contacted everyone I could think of to help him. But he's calmer now."
Jessie tugged the sheet and shifted in the bed. "I think it's a defense mechanism. He distances himself. Sometimes, I feel as if we're getting close, but…who knows for sure. He keeps me just outside that line and I can't seem to cross it. And when I get a little close, he shuts down. All those weekends working together, he never once came over to my apartment to work on Cam's case. Not once. It was always from his house because that's where it all started with Hunter when he lived there. It was as if changing things would have crossed some line or made it personal. It's probably why he didn't know it was my place when he got the call that night to come over. I'm guessing he never looked up my address because he would have seen it as an invasion of privacy or something." He shook his head and blew out a deep breath. "I don't know how to get through to him. But I want to…more than anything."
"You guys are like two turtles. You both move slow as hell and you have these hard shells." Cole quieted then snorted a chuckle.
"What's so funny?"
Cole bit his lip. "Turtles fucking. They make funny noises. Google that shit."
Jessie ducked his head again and held back a smile.
They chatted about hospital food, the auto shop, the nurses—small talk to pass the time. The nurses filed in in small clusters when they heard Cole was visiting, seemed no one could resist his larger than life laugh or smile. They finally left when the overhead speaker announced a code, beckoning their attention. Jessie leaned back in the pillow as their conversation segued to a discussion of Cole's huge family.
"Your dad was here."
Jessie sat up, his mood sobering. "What?" he whispered.
Cole rested his chin on his crossed arms and spoke softly. "Your dad. He was here
that first night. I'm pretty sure he was your dad. He had your eyes, but he was bigger, broader. Looked like a mean son of a bitch."
Jessie looked down, pulling, folding, and flattening the top of the sheet. "It couldn't have been him." After everything that had happened between them, he didn't have a clue what he would say if his father visited. He tried to dismiss the thought, but he wouldn't deny a tiny glimmer of hope flickered at the idea of his father wanting to know what had happened or how he was doing. Anything.
Cole continued to talk, jumping into another discussion about Ty's latest restoration project. But all Jessie could think about was why his father had come by and if there was even the slightest chance he could have cared about his son at all.
* * * *
Aidan planted his hands on his hips to avoid picking something up and throwing it across the room. "What do you mean you don't have any leads?"
The captain rubbed his balding head. "I told you, they've checked everything. There's no video surveillance in a mile radius they can reference. The building didn't have security cameras. The neighbors didn't see anything or anyone, they only heard the yelling. We've matched the DNA from the blood and fingerprints to the same person. But without some checkpoint to compare that information with a face and record in our database we've got nothing."
"So he just gets away with it? That's bullshit."
"They're sending another detective over to talk to Vega again. Maybe he's a little clearer now and there's something that was missed from the initial interview when he first woke."
Aidan vehemently shook his head. "No. I'll talk to him about it and relay relevant info." He remembered how distant Jessie had become after the initial recounting of the attack, and there was no way in hell he was going to subject Jessie to that again.
"Calloway, it doesn't work that way. It's not your case. You're not supposed to be anywhere near it."
Aidan stepped forward, each angry, frustrated breath heaving his chest. "And they've gotten nowhere." He'd normally be the one to get the answers, find the suspect, and catch the criminal, not be the guy sitting at the sidelines waiting for an update. "Get me on the case. Make it official."