by Jaime Reese
Later that evening, they both lay spent on the couch, barely able to breathe, still half-dressed. He smiled, giddy with excitement, reveling in the wonder that they hadn't scratched the surface of all the things Jessie wanted to do to him that he would willingly allow.
* * * *
"Good morning," Jessie said in a tone thick with sleep as he walked over to the kitchen.
"Hey," Aidan said, hiding a grin. Responding with "great fucking morning" would have been a bit much. He certainly didn't want to push his luck and say anything more than the bare essentials and risk screwing up the warm fuzzies lingering from their night on the couch. He glanced over his shoulder and his body immediately responded to the rare sight of a tousled-haired Jessie. He returned his focus to the brewing pot of coffee. He couldn't chance being late—the team would know something was up and he didn't want to screw up his good mood telling them to fuck off. He'd already extended his morning as much as possible, unable to rip himself away from Jessie's warmth.
"Staring at it won't make it brew any faster."
Aidan smiled. "Smartass." He turned to sneak a glance at Jessie leaning against the entryway and stilled. The playfulness evaporated as a wave of anger slowly took its place. He took a few deep breaths to hold off the simmering fury. In two steps, he stood by Jessie, pulling down the edge of his sleep pants. "What the fuck?"
Jessie looked down at his bruised skin. "It doesn't hurt."
Aidan gripped the waistband of Jessie's pants and twisted them in his fist. "Did I…" he began but couldn't speak through the tightness in his throat.
Jessie reached up and placed his hand against the side of Aidan's freshly-shaven face. "It doesn't hurt at all. I swear."
He closed his eyes and shook his head, stumbling as he took a step backward. The thought that he'd hurt his Jess.
"Look at me."
He bent his head and slumped his shoulders, folding into himself. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I—"
"Look at me, dammit."
Aidan flinched. He took a deep breath and finally opened his eyes, making contact with the blue gaze that always weakened him.
"You would never hurt me. I know that. And you know that. So stop it. I bruise easily. I always have. I also don't tan when out in the sun like you do… I burn."
Aidan shook his head and looked down at the angry purple marks stamped across Jessie's hip. He looked over to the opposite side of his hips and the breath left his lungs when he saw another set of matching bruises. "Fuck." He turned away as a series of images flashed across his mind—Jessie in the hospital bed, the blood, the swollen-shut eye, the bruising…
A firm grip and pull on his arm yanked him from his spiraling thoughts. Jessie stepped forward, invading Aidan's personal space, his shoulders squared, and a fire of determination burned in his eyes. "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"These bruises are not the same as the ones I had in the hospital."
Aidan scowled. Sometimes, he hated how transparent he was to Jessie.
"And I already told you, this doesn't hurt." Jessie wrapped his arms around Aidan and ran his hands up and down his back. "Besides, I love the fact that you let your guard down with me and lost control. It lets me know how badly you want me. So just stop it."
Aidan exhaled heavily and stepped away, turning back to the coffee pot that seemed to be taking forever to brew. "Bruises are bruises, Jess. I did that to you. Wanting you is no excuse for hurting you." He scoffed, unable to hide his contempt. Wouldn't that be the same miserable excuse that son of a bitch would use for hurting Jess and putting him in the hospital?
Jessie yanked his shoulder again to force him to face him. His lips thinned and his chest heaved with each measured breath. "I asked you to not do that. It's not the same thing."
Aidan crossed his arms. "Enlighten me. It's a bruise, Jess."
Jessie closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He looked off to the side as if gathering his thoughts, finally returning his attention back to Aidan, calmer and more in control. "I'm going to ask you a few questions. You answer yes or no."
"Jess—"
Jessie raised a stopping hand. "Humor me."
Aidan inclined his head, encouraging him to continue.
"Would you throw something at me in anger?"
Aidan straightened. "Jess, this isn't funny—"
Jessie crossed his arms and planted himself firmly in front of Aidan. "Yes or no. Which is it?"
"No."
"Would you ever hit me in anger?"
"No," he responded, the anger slowly simmering at this line of questioning, not really sure why Jessie thought he might do something like that.
"Would you ever call me useless, stupid, or tell me the world would be better off without me?"
A knot formed in Aidan's throat as the painful realization began to set in. "No," he said, barely able to voice the small word.
Jessie took a deep breath and tilted his head upward, fighting the tears that began to pool in his eyes. "If I had said 'stop' or 'no' at any point last night, would you have stopped?"
Aidan swallowed the painful knot in his throat, finally understanding the reason behind Jessie's questions. "Yes." He reached out and gently placed his hands on Jessie's waist, barely grazing his skin. "Jess…"
"I know you want everything nice and sweet with me. But it's not the same, and I need you to understand that. I'm not afraid when I'm with you and you are not malicious or hurtful." Jessie jabbed his finger at Aidan's chest. "You are not abusive. You don't scare me."
Aidan leaned in and placed a tender kiss on Jessie's lips. "I guess you didn't get the memo about me being a frightening son of a bitch."
Jessie threw his arms around Aidan's neck. "There is something about you that scares me."
Aidan frowned. "What's that?"
"I'm afraid you'll never really let go with me. That you'll always keep a part of yourself stashed away in that internal safe of yours. Sometimes, I see a hint of it before you catch it and hide it away. I saw it in your eyes last night. I want that. I want all of that. It doesn't scare me. What we do together, however wild it gets, it's not violent."
Aidan pressed a kiss to the side of Jessie's head, holding him close, not wanting to imagine what Jessie had been through growing up and as a teen. "I'd never hurt you, Jess."
"I know. But now, with these bruises, I'm worried you're going to pull away and hold back more than ever. And that…" Jessie paused before continuing. "That hurts me more than any bruise I've ever had."
Aidan exhaled heavily. He really wished he was a better communicator.
Jessie inched back, separating from the embrace. He looked up at Aidan, a fiery look of determination screamed from his expression. "Question for you."
Uh-oh, round two. "Go ahead."
"Do you trust me?"
"You know I do." Aidan crossed his arms and cocked his head.
"Do you think I trust you?"
He frowned and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I…I hope so."
"Then trust me enough to know my limits and to be honest with you to tell you when you get there. Because I know you'll listen and stop if I need you to."
Aidan sighed. Dammit. He hated when people made logical arguments that didn't play in his favor.
Jessie took a step forward and grabbed Aidan's waist with far more aggression than Aidan could have anticipated. But his dick definitely took notice and wanted to join in. "I'm not fragile," Jessie said. "If you want slow and sweet, soft and nice, that's fine. But if you want me any other way, don't you dare hold back. Because I sure as hell don't want you going elsewhere. Understand?"
"I wouldn't go elsewhere." Aidan's jaw hurt from clenching his teeth so hard. It took him years to finally open his heart to someone. Not just someone. Jessie. No one had ever had a hold of his heart the way his Jess did. And no one else ever would. He reached out and grabbed the back of Jessie's head and pulled him forward, slamming their lips together, telling him, without words,
just how much he wanted every inch of him, all to himself, and only him. He guided Jessie exactly where he wanted him, pushing his tongue between Jessie's lips and unmistakably branding him with a kiss filled with want and need.
Jessie gripped Aidan's biceps for balance, digging his fingers into the hard muscle. They finally separated from the kiss but still remained a breath away.
A slow smile spread across Jessie's face. "That's what I'm talking about."
Aidan shook his head. He was a weak son of a bitch when it came to this man. He looked into those crystal blue eyes he loved so much and huffed out a quiet laugh at the mischief staring back at him. Without question, Jessie had him wrapped around his finger and handled every inch of his mind and body.
And for the first time in Aidan's life, he was totally fine with that.
They followed their routine for the rest of that week, spending some time working at the dining room table on one of the files in Cam's case then eventually retreating to the comfort of their couch. Jessie loved their lazy Sundays, especially when they did nothing but spend time together. It didn't matter if they hung out on the back porch, worked out together, or just joked around. He cherished the privacy—the peacefulness, the closeness, the slow, lazy brush of fingers against his skin in a casual caress.
"Are you off next Saturday?" Jessie asked.
"Yeah. Did you want to do something?"
"Maybe in the afternoon. I have a delivery coming in the morning so I wanted to make sure you were here."
"Delivery?"
"I ordered some furniture. Well, technically, you did, it was on your credit card. But I did transfer the money into your account."
Aidan raised an eyebrow. "So you weren't kidding? Tell me it's not pastel or flowery."
"Hot pink."
Aidan lazily chuckled. "I picked up on your sarcasm that time."
"It's for your room. I ordered a bed—"
"Jess—"
He held up a stopping hand. "Hear me out."
Aidan stiffened but nodded.
"The bed is king-size. That way, whenever you're ready, we're not squeezing into the full-size bed in the guest room. There's no deadline and I'm not pushing you to jump in the bed. But I want a new bed that will be ours for whenever you are ready."
Aidan didn't look bothered, but there was a hint of emotion shining from his hazel eyes. "Okay."
"I also bought a couch to replace the one you refuse to use. We can move the one that's there now into the workout room. That way, you still keep it, but you'll have one in there you will actually use."
Aidan continued to watch him carefully, a barely noticeable softness tweaking his features. "When did you go to the furniture store?"
"Online. A totally review-driven choice, but anything is better than the bed in the guest room, and I think we're wearing out this couch far quicker than it was intended."
"Hey, I like this couch."
Jessie laughed and patted the backrest. "I know you do that's why it'll be a cold day in hell before I even joke about doing anything to this old girl."
A teasing smile lingered on Aidan's lips.
"I know it's your bedroom—"
"It's our house."
A swell of emotions tightened Jessie's throat. He reached for Aidan's hand. "I know it's important for you to have your space, but I hate sleeping in the guest room on those nights you work late."
"You could sleep on the couch."
"You refuse to wake me and I refuse to have you sleeping on the damn floor and you aren't comfortable in that small side chair. So this way, if you work late, I'll sleep in the new bed in your room—"
"In our room."
Jessie smiled. "In our room. And when you get in, you can sleep on the new, extra cushioned couch in the same room. That way, we don't have walls and a hallway between us."
Aidan reached up and brushed his thumb along Jessie's cheek. "You're such a control freak."
Jessie leaned forward, a mere inch away from Aidan's face. "And I think you like it."
"I do. But only when it's you."
Jessie leaned in for a quick kiss. "It'll be our secret."
Aidan cupped the back of Jessie's head and pulled him forward, lazily nipping and sucking on Jessie's lip then pulling away. He stood, tugging Jessie by his hand.
"Where are we going?" Jessie asked, refusing to stand, still dazed after the kiss.
"We need to move out that old couch from our room." Aidan tilted his head as if a thought had crossed his mind. "If we move over the dresser that's in there and shift the desk to the corner the way Hunter had it before, I've still got my pacing space when the bed comes in."
Jessie bit his kiss-swollen lip, trying to hold back the flutter of emotions at Aidan's enthusiasm.
"C'mon." He started walking away and stopped when Jessie didn't follow. "It was your bright idea." He returned to the couch and reached behind Jessie, wrapping one arm around his back and the other cupping his ass, effortlessly picking him up, off his feet and pulling him flush against his body. "Besides, I like seeing you work up a sweat with me."
Jessie wrapped his arms around Aidan's neck and anchored his legs around his waist. "Mmm. I like the sound of that."
"So…" Aidan brushed his lips slowly against Jessie's. "What do I need to do to convince you to help me?"
"Are you taking your shirt off?"
Aidan brushed his lips back and forth against Jessie's mouth. "If you want me to."
"Well, when you put it that way, how can I resist?"
Aidan laughed and pressed his forehead to Jessie's, still holding him in his arms as he made his way into their room. "You're insatiable."
"For you, always."
* * * *
Aidan entered his passcode and walked through the cage and down the hallway—his stride, lighter than normal. He couldn't seem to get Jessie or their weekend together out of his head. Jessie had turned his teasing up a notch and Aidan had been completely at his mercy. They'd spent the better part of the weekend at home, vegging out on the couch watching movies or just making out the way he figured most teenagers with raging hormones would.
He pushed through the meeting room door and pulled out the chair next to Sunny. "Good morning," he said, plopping himself in the seat.
Sunny shifted her head toward him and slowly raised an eyebrow.
"What?" Aidan said, grabbing one of the files from the center of the table.
"You're smiling."
"What?" he asked again, thumbing through the file.
"You're smiling." She reached over and closed his folder, drawing his attention.
Aidan looked up. "I heard you the first time. I do smile, you know."
Sunny turned in her seat to face him. "Newsflash. You only half smile or do this real twisted, evil grin thing which just freaks me out. But you're smiling. Like…really smiling. Smiling with your eyes."
"You can't smile with your eyes."
"Sure, you can. It's the difference between a genuine smile and a Calloway smile. You, my dear, are smiling like the rest of us."
Aidan lowered his brow. "Put a cork in it, Sunshine," he mumbled, pulling the file away from her grasp and reopening it.
Sunny laughed. "See, you can't even be pissed off and taken seriously right now. You're still smiling."
The door opened and both looked up to greet Travis. He set his cup down and watched them, slowly taking his seat. "What did I miss?"
"Nothing," Aidan said, thumbing through the pages.
Sunny bit her lip, but her body shook, holding back the laughter.
"Oh, come on, guys. Fess up. It's got to be fucking hysterical if Calloway's smiling."
Aidan looked up at Travis, narrowing his eyes as he spoke. "You guys are impossible. Review the file before the meeting."
Sunny and Travis laughed in unison. "Sunny, give me Vega's number. Whatever he put in his coffee, we need to mass produce that shit!"
Aidan tightened his lips, holding back a chuckle. "Shut
the fuck up. You guys make it sound as if I never smile."
Sunny and Travis quieted and both stared at him, neither saying a word.
"We've known each other how long now?" Travis asked.
"Almost three years. Why?" Aidan asked.
"I don't recall you smiling. At all. In fact, I've wondered if you have teeth."
Sunny crossed her arms and sucked in her lips, stifling a chuckle. "He does. You see them when he sneers and growls," she finished, unable to hold back the laugh.
"You guys are…annoying. Stop it," he said.
"Hey, Calloway."
Aidan looked up at Travis.
"Jessie Vega."
A flood of memories from their weekend together raced through Aidan's mind in a flash—the teasing glint in Jessie's blue eyes, the softness of his dark hair, the warmth of his mouth, the sounds he made when they kissed.
Travis and Sunny both pointed their finger at him and started laughing. "Busted!"
Aidan shook his head and scoffed. He rose from his seat and closed the file, staring at his teammates who couldn't seem to stop laughing at him. "Call me back when the meeting starts."
He walked around the table just as Wall entered the room. At least he could count on Wall to not give him a hard time.
His silent teammate looked at Travis and Sunny with a frown, no doubt wondering what the hell he had missed. He glanced up at Aidan and his features relaxed, then transitioned into one of his lopsided grins. He quirked an eyebrow and crossed his arms, staring at Aidan as Travis and Sunny began another round of laughter at the silent exchange between them.
"Shut up," he said to Wall as he pushed past him out the door.
* * * *
"I can feel your heartbeat."
"That's because you have your hand on my chest." Aidan wrapped his arm around Jessie's waist, tugging him closer, reveling in the quiet intimacy of just lying together on the couch watching television as he stroked his fingers up and down Jessie's arm. He'd thought about this all day, not even caring about the jokes at work from his teammates. He sighed, closing his eyes, relaxing, enjoying Jessie's tempting touches and the series of open-mouth kisses trailing along his skin.