By the time his own bicker week rolled around, George had decided that the process was beneath him: “In a veritable transport of false pride, self-pity, and thirst for martyrdom, I absented myself every afternoon from the campus, lest somebody ask me to join a club.” In the end, though, somebody did. Bill Oliver, whose sister had roomed with Constance at Vassar, sought George out: “You’re making a great mistake. This is going to damage your upper-class years—you’ll be happier if you join.” Moved that anyone had taken the trouble, he accepted membership in Key and Seal, which he described to Jeanette as “neither the best nor the worst” but “the wildest club in Princeton.” He then took a job as assistant manager there to cover the costs.17
Even in his own club, though, George was uncomfortable. Its chief vice was drinking, but “since I don’t like to drink, I’m not in fear of temptation on that score.” He later acknowledged not having many friends in Key and Seal. By the end of his junior year, he was brooding about the “super-sensitiveness” that had led some of his classmates to “make social prestige during undergraduate years the sole aim of life.” So he resigned when he returned to campus.18
He thereby saved, George wrote his father, $300. But it had been “no small sacrifice,” because “[a] non-club man is quite generally snubbed and looked down upon, takes a very small part in college life, and misses out on practically all of the things that men have in mind when they talk about ‘the grand old college days.’ ” For the rest of his senior year there was no choice but to eat with the “rejects,” the students who had gotten into no club, and that, George later recalled, was terrible. Each of them “was afraid that the fellow next to him would think that he couldn’t take it and was trying to butter him up to make friends, so we usually ate in a sort of proud silence.”19
George drew from this unhappy experience the lesson that “one had to make one’s own standards, one could not just accept those of other people; there was always the possibility that those others, in the very rejection of us, had been wrong.” But it had been he who had rejected his fellow club members, not the other way around. George captured his own contradictions in a letter to Jeanette: “My hardest job is to be conventional, for that is something which self-respect and blood often tell [me] not to do,” even though “I believe [conventionality] brought me to Princeton.”20
“There was . . . a curious strain of weakness running crosswise through his makeup,” it was once said of another student who wound up at Princeton. “[A] harsh word from the lips of an older boy . . . was liable to sweep him off his poise into surly sensitiveness, or timid stupidity.... [H]e was a slave to his own moods.”21 That student was Fitzgerald’s Amory Blaine before he entered Princeton: he eventually got over it. George, for whatever reason, never quite did.
III.
Academics, fortunately, came more easily than social life. George’s most challenging freshman course was Historical Introduction (known to the students as “hysterical interruption”), which sought to show the effects of climate, geography, and resources on civilizations. The professor was the young Joseph C. Green, “a stern, vigorous, and relentlessly conscientious scholar, placing no demands on us that he did not meet to the fullest degree himself.” Young George had this course in mind when he wrote his father that “my future rests chiefly on how much studying I do in the next week and a half.” But he passed everything—no small achievement given his bout with scarlet fever—although he did have to repeat freshman English literature in his sophomore year.22
That requirement provoked an early outburst of intellectual independence. George disliked the course and began cutting classes. He thought it silly to have to identify plots and climaxes in Shakespeare—“you either felt these plays as aesthetic and intellectual experiences or you did not.” Called in by his instructor, who wanted to know, “bluntly but not unkindly, what the hell was the matter with me,” George professed repentance. He then submitted a paper on what was wrong with the teaching of English in American colleges. It got the highest grade possible, and “I was taught an unforgettable lesson in generosity and restraint.”23
George knew none of his teachers well, but he appreciated what some of them did. Like several generations of Princeton undergraduates, he relished the legendary Walter P. “Buzzer” Hall—so called for the sound his hearing aid made—who would arrive in a horse and buggy to teach modern European history, thunder through his lectures, and then end the semester with a masterpiece on Garibaldi that pulled in students from all over the campus. There was a philosophy professor who gained George’s respect by allowing students to argue with him after his lectures: “Anyone who can ex[c]ite three or four hundred blasé easterners so that they emerge from their frigid cells . . . has got to be good.” And then there was a German professor, short, stout, with close-cropped hair and a red mustache: “When he starts to speak German, he swells up, raises his head, glares at the class, draws a deep breath, and then bursts out in stenatorian [sic] tones, punctuated by a full measure of the spluttering and gurgling [which] accompanies the pronunciation of good German.”24
Literature, inside and outside of class, sparked the greatest interest, especially contemporary American novels: “I was thrilled with these books.” Princeton may not have lived up to the reputation Fitzgerald had given it, but Sinclair Lewis’s Main Street put George back in touch with his midwestern roots. “[I]t was an enormous eye-opener to me that one could look at our lives and see drama.” And then, as George was graduating, The Great Gatsby came out, “went right into me and became part of me.”25
History, apart from “Buzzer” Hall, was disappointing. Too many instructors contented themselves with assignments like: “Read Chapter Twenty-Three, and be prepared to recite on it next week.” It made a difference when the students encountered what they found interesting. Charles Seymour’s Woodrow Wilson and the World War was “fortunately small enough to be read conveniently in chapel,” where attendance was mandatory, “and I covered some fifty pages of it during that ceremony, this morning.” Only one other history teacher held George’s interest: he was Raymond J. Sontag, then a preceptor but later a distinguished diplomatic historian. “[S]keptical, questioning, disillusioned without being discouraging,” he left an indelible impression. Many years later, having himself entered the profession, George recalled of his Princeton years: “I didn’t realize how interesting history was!”26
So too, in a way, were current affairs. George carefully recorded the consensus reached in a Clio debate on Japanese exclusion. He composed, but did not send, a sardonic letter to the Princetonian on the Veterans’ Bonus Bill. He wrote an essay on plans for construction of the St. Lawrence Seaway. He wrestled, in his international law class, with a case involving Soviet claims to property in the United States—an issue he would return to in an official capacity a decade later. He participated in a student discussion on German reparations, which veered off into wild plans for joining the French Foreign Legion, and then ended in “a general row on international politics” lasting much of the night. Princeton left him with “a vague Wilsonian liberalism; a regret that the Senate had rejected American membership in the League of Nations; a belief in laissez-faire economics and the values of competition ; and a corresponding aversion to high tariffs.” Otherwise, there were few “settled opinions, conclusions, or certainties in the field of public affairs.”27
There was, however, a mounting concern that his undergraduate years might be his best: “I can readily see how, after one gets out into the world, regardless of what he may have intended, he will never learn anything again, and his interests will be absolutely limited to what he has learned.” Time spent on courses was therefore precious—but not so precious that it prevented George from writing this letter to Jeanette in an English class, where he was supposed to have been taking notes on the lecture.28
IV.
Much about Princeton was exciting—even if English lectures were not—and in more ways than his memoirs suggest, George
was becoming fond of the place. “I’m devilish busy,” he wrote early in his sophomore year. He was taking six courses, had a job addressing envelopes for an Italian tailor, and felt like a swimmer trying to keep his head above water. “But I’ve become quite a stoic: I play not; neither do I smoke; yet the Phoenix in all his glory never took any colder baths than I do in the mornings.”29
He now had a room on campus and was facing distractions that tested stoicism. When Princeton beat Chicago in football that fall, Nassau Street filled with celebrating students, “acting as if they had lost all semblance of intelligence.” George was one of them. “I don’t often get drunk, but I do think that was a worthy occasion.” Then came an unexpected free trip to the Harvard game in Cambridge, causing George to write Jeanette exuberantly: “I just sort of bubble over. Can you imagine that? Last year I felt so lonely.” There were even theater parties in New York, requiring excuses for why he had to return to Princeton “when I was asked to stay all night.”30
George was a bit stoic when it came to women. He assured Jeanette that he had not arrived at Princeton “a prude.” But he later could recall asking only one girl to a dance there, and it turned out to be an unhappy experience because nobody else danced with her. When George revealed one day that he thought he was in love, his junior-year roommate assured him “that a man can have any woman he wants, if he only wants to take the trouble.” George reported this to Jeanette with scarcely concealed envy: he “sleeps until noon if I don’t wake him; . . . writes to fifteen girls, and knows fifteen more; has two invited down to the Junior prom and still doesn’t seem the least bit worried about it; and believes in Prohibition but can hold half a pint of gin with perfect sobriety.... Only a southerner could carry that off.” 31
Whatever the state of his love life, spring in Princeton could make it hard to study. Seniors singing on the steps of Nassau Hall moved him so deeply that he wanted to ban all phonographs, automobiles, and other recent inventions from the campus, “because they mar the effect.” But when a classmate abandoned it all to become a sailor, “Lord, how I wanted to go with him.” George did not expect Jeanette, “being a girl,” to understand that the world beyond Princeton, now colorful and romantic, would by the time he graduated be drab and meaningless. He wanted to see it, even if penniless. He didn’t go, though, because “I have too much regard for Father.” At least “I’m not so impressionable as I was at this time last year.”32
“Took the history quiz this morning,” George wrote on May 24, 1924, in the diary he was now keeping again. “Also had my picture taken for a passport.” It was George’s first, since they had not been required when his family took him to Germany in 1912. The photograph shows a serious young man in coat and tie with a thick head of hair, close-cropped above the ears. Most striking are the eyes, which are large, almost haunted, and suggestive of vulnerability. Which perhaps accounts for another comment George wrote in his diary that evening: “They [his classmates] laugh at me, I know, but I don’t mind being laughed at as much as I used to.”33
V.
The passport was for a summer trip to Europe, a compromise remedy for George’s wanderlust. He did not do it penniless, but he came close. He did do it with a Princeton friend whose “uninhibited Greek hedonism was a good foil to my tense Presbyterian anxieties.” Constantine Nicholas Michaelas Messolonghitis routinely hitchhiked from his home in Ohio without apparent effort or worry. He had resigned from Key and Seal before George did. “His wide-eyed innocence about the East was even more staggering than my own; . . . [and] in the easy glow of his provincial garrulousness (he was a character, in reality, from Thomas Wolfe) I softened and felt at home.” Traveling with Nick would mean “toil, trial, trouble, and tribulation—but still human nature is so unreasoning that I look forward to it.”34
The trip was unremarkable in one sense: Europe was full of young Americans bumming around in the summer of 1924. What was remarkable was the handwritten account of over ninety pages that George kept and preserved. It was the first of many travel diaries he would compose throughout his life, and it opens a window into who he was at the age of twenty, still an adolescent, soon to cease to be one.
The journal begins, predictably, with a list of traveler’s check numbers and addresses of adults to be contacted if something went wrong. It then describes hitchhiking from Princeton to New York, and an exhausting trek up and down docks on both sides of the Hudson in an unsuccessful search for a ship in need of inexperienced hands. June 24–25 became an odyssey, with George and Nick spending most of the day on the waterfront in Hoboken; then crossing back to Manhattan but failing to find friends with free beds, couches, or floors; then running into an acquaintance of Frances’s who did at least provide tickets to the midnight show at the Hippodrome; then being turned away from the YMCA at four A.M.; and finally sleeping for the rest of the night in Central Park—all the while dragging along the necessary baggage for a summer in Europe. By eight A.M. the boys were up and at Battery Park, “about the seediest looking persons [there], which is saying something: soiled, wrinkled clothes, two day beards, unkempt, hot as usual, and tired to death. Our morale was utterly shot.”35
But there was a ship, the SS Berengaria, which offered third-class passage at $97.50 apiece. “ ‘Nick,’ sez I, ‘on board that boat there must be a bath and a bed.’ With that thought our reason fled, and we bought tickets forthwith,” an extravagance that, before they had even sailed, exhausted more than half their funds. On board were some of the most “scurvy, seedy, filthy, low-down, diseased, wrecked, ignorant, miserable human beings that God ever made a bad job on.” But there were also baths and beds, the sea was calm, and there were a couple of “nice girls” from Mount Holyoke and Wellesley with whom to lounge in deck chairs, compare notes on the fellow passengers, listen to the quartermaster’s yarns about the Battle of Jutland, enjoy ice cream provided by a bribed steward, and peer through a window at a fancy-dress ball in first class.36
Landfall was at Southampton on July 2, and George’s first sight of England amazed him. The taxis were “antiquated, fantastic, ancient hacks,” the streetcars were double-decked, most of the houses were old, none of the buildings were high, and some of the male inhabitants dressed in a way that would “cause a good riot in the U.S.A.” The boys spent the next few days hiking north of Exeter—George, reading Lorna Doone at the time, liked the moors—and occasionally hitching rides: one was unauthorized on the back of a slow-moving bus, another was on a two-wheeled dog cart driven by an amiable woman to whom they attempted, without success, to explain the virtues of free trade. They celebrated the Fourth of July in Dunster by splurging on sauterne, but found on reaching London that sympathetic waitresses were sometimes willing to shave a few shillings off their bills. Efforts to find work failed, provoking poetry, first from George:
Dear God, who got us in this town
Without a solitary crown
For Christ’s sake, get us back again,
And make it snappy, God, Amen. and then from Nick:
Oh Lord, it gives us both a pain
To eat this rotten London hash;
Please ease up on the goddam rain,
And send us down a little cash.
After worrying for days about funds, George concluded that they should cross the Channel, make their way across France to Marseilles, and persuade the consul there to send them home. “[T]o hell with finances.... Nick was of course charmed with the idea.”37
They arrived in Paris on July 17. “I have never seen any city even remotely resembling it,” George wrote. “It has all the ‘magnificent distances’ of Washington, the boulevards of Philadelphia, the metropolitan freedom and gaiety of New York (but more so), the time-honored mellowness of London”—and the taxis disregarded speed limits, “just as they do in Chicago.” The Arc de Triomphe seemed to Nick “quite satisfactory,” although “I was so shot I wouldn’t have known it from a hitching post.” The Eiffel Tower’s elevator was rotten “in comparison to the Woolwo
rth Bldg.” There were visits to the Louvre, the Moulin Rouge, and Versailles, the last of which reminded George that ceremonies could be comic opera: he had first seen this at the unveiling of the Revolutionary War battle monument outside of Princeton, with “poor Harding sitting there in a glaring sun on the white concrete steps, mopping his brow with a handkerchief, and caring more for a glass of good, cold beer, than [for] all the heroes of history.”
July 26 brought an unexpected windfall at the American Express office: $100 from Frances, with instructions to ask for more if required. “[S]he evidently got scared by the letter I wrote to her from London, and told the whole tale to Father, who, of course, gritted his teeth, boiled with rage, and assured her he would send me all [I] needed.” Priding himself on his independence, George professed to be appalled: “She couldn’t have meant better; she couldn’t have done worse.” It would be a while before he could show his face in Milwaukee again.38
But the cash made it possible to get to Italy, where George was afflicted by “terrible and weird dreams” about his family. There were, he thought, two kinds of dreams: random impressions “flashing around in the brain at will, with no semblance of order,” and, less frequently, dreams in which “we see and hear clearly interesting things which we know we have never heard or seen in real life.... It seems to me that the only possible explanation for these lies in the action of some kind of mental telepathy.” The dreams in Turin were of the latter variety, and they left him “very much depressed.”
George F. Kennan : an American life Page 5