He wasn’t sure what to do about her. If she wanted things to be over between them, he could respect that. He would try to, anyway. He had a business to remedy, customers to placate, and investments to restore. He needed the distraction anyway. A way to keep his mind off of her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
GOLDIE FOLLOWED THE INSTRUCTIONS ON the GPS and managed to find her own way to the freeway. It was a few days’ drive back to Wisconsin. She wished she could just appear there instead of having to endure it, but she made the trek all the same, swimming in her thoughts the entire time.
Hard as she tried to root him out, Adrian wouldn’t leave her mind. She’d been so harsh during their last phone conversation. Every time he called since, she wanted to answer but couldn’t bring herself to do it. His life was in Chicago, with his business. It wouldn’t work, and she couldn’t afford to open up to anyone else again.
Part of her regretted how she’d parted with Bethany, too. That couldn’t have been an easy conversation to have. Bethany had admitted she wanted to make things right, but Goldie couldn’t focus on anything else. Not until she made it home and spoke with her mother.
The screen lit up on her dashboard, and this one she did answer.
“Hey, Sadie.”
“Girl, I haven’t heard from you in days. I just wanted to see how you’re holding up with Ted Bundy. He’s hot, isn’t he?”
Goldie laughed, grateful for her friend’s lighthearted take. She needed lighthearted right about now.
“I’m headed back as we speak. And boy, do I have a story for you.”
“Please tell me it has something to do with Mr. Hottie.”
Sadie listened, responding with just the right amount of ohs and whats and oh my goodnesses.
“Your aunt is really—?”
“My birth mom. Yeah.”
“What are you going to do?”
Goldie exhaled, gripped the steering wheel, and stared at the road. “I’m going to talk to my parents, first of all. I want to know why, you know?”
“I totally know,” Sadie said. “Good luck, and drive safely.”
“Thanks, Sadie.”
After driving for six hours, stopping for the night in South Dakota, and then driving another handful of hours, the Baldwin exit was a welcome sign. Goldie trekked her way toward the town’s opposite end and pulled into her childhood home’s driveway. Nostalgia hit harder than the time she’d been struck in the side of the jaw by a softball while dashing for home base. It was jarring, harsh, and sudden, and it stole her breath.
This might never have been her house at all if things had gone differently. What kind of life would she have had being raised by Bethany in Montana instead? Her name would have been Gabrielle Harold. She might have known Adrian Bear longer then, seeing as how they would have lived in the same town. She might have attended school with him. Have seen him dating Danica or been one of the other girls he’d avoided. She might have had a mother she could get along with, instead of one who was constantly disappointed in her.
“There you are,” her mom said when she entered. Jacey was at the sink washing jars. Being a gardening nut, she was preparing for canning season to come later that summer. Goldie knew the ritual by heart. Hands dipped in the sink water, her arms were spattered with soap. “I’ve been worried sick about you.”
Goldie set down her keys. “Since when are you ever sick? Or worried?”
“Since you took off without a word. I considered flying out there after you, you know.”
Goldie’s fists clenched. “Why, so you could keep Bethany from telling me the truth? Why would you shut her out? Keep her away from her own daughter?”
Jacey’s jaw dropped. She lifted her hands from the soapy water, shook off the suds, and dried them on a nearby towel. “You are my daughter. I never wanted any confusion on the subject, and knowing Bethany, I knew she’d try to take you back if I took you to visit her.”
“So you decided to pretend she didn’t exist.”
Her mom stood soldier-stiff. “I thought a clean break would be best, yes.”
All the emotion from the past week and a half crushed her, weighing more than if she were loaded down with a mountain of sand. “You should have told me.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Startled, Goldie’s head recoiled back. “Sorry?”
Her mom closed her eyes and inhaled. An exercise in patience and self-control Goldie had witnessed many times—especially in her honor.
“Goldie,” she said in her too-calm tone.
“Is that why you never call me by my name? I thought it was because of my hair. My golden hair. Now I’m starting to think you didn’t want to call me by the name she gave me.”
Another exhale. Her mother still hadn’t looked at her.
“Did you name me Gabrielle, or did she?”
“She did.”
Goldie felt like screaming. She knew it was childish, but she couldn’t help the sensation. She worked to keep her voice level. “Do you have any idea what it’s like finding out your mom isn’t really your mom?”
Jacey’s lids lifted. “You were never supposed to find out.”
Her mom didn’t care that she’d lied to her! She still would have been living the lie if it hadn’t been for Bethany’s interference. The realization blind-sided her.
“I did find out, Mom. You lied, even if it was a lie of omission. And it hurts me. Our whole family dynamic hurts me.”
Goldie snatched her keys from the counter and stormed out. Now she understood what made Adrian despise his beautiful home, what made him want something else, be somewhere else. She wanted to hurl Baldwin and its little house and the lies which created her memories there right off the map. She had the school year to finish, but after that, she was done. Gone.
For some reason, she thought of the sign she’d won from the Bear family’s fundraiser, and the single word it boasted. Home. She’d planned on hanging it in her apartment, but it no longer fit there. She wasn’t sure where she could hang it now, where it would actually feel like it applied.
Getting lost had always been a joke, something she did by accident. It had also happened far too frequently for her liking.
Even though she was home, this was the most lost she’d ever felt in her life.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“THANKS FOR A GREAT YEAR, Miss Bybanks,” Caleb said. He was a tall, gangly young man and wore a shirt with a man holding a fish and the words, This is what I look like when I call in sick, written below. “You know I hate writing, but you really helped make it more fun.”
Gabby smiled at him from behind her desk. She cast nods to a few of the other students as they passed and waved goodbye to her on their way out the door. The final bell had just rung, and the room had cleared faster than a swimming pool in a lightning storm.
Last days were bitter-sweet. A much looked-for respite from the day-to-day task of lesson plans and paper-grading, was balanced out with the jam-packed energy bursting from each student in the halls. It was the end of May. And it was definitely time to be done with school.
“I’m glad to hear that. You’re a great writer, Caleb.”
“Have a good summer, Miss B. See you next year!” He slung his backpack over his shoulder and strolled out.
“See you,” she said calmly, while inwardly she was a simmering pot of nerves. As difficult as it was, she wouldn’t be seeing him, or any of the other students, next year. Not if she could help it.
She was done referring to herself by her nickname. After the conversation with her mom, several weeks ago, she resolved to be Gabrielle from then on. Adrian had called her Gabby, and she’d liked it.
She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since she’d left Two Pines. For six weeks he’d dominated her inner dialogue, and that had to mean something. It had led her job hunt in his direction, and when she’d gotten the invitation for an interview, she took that as a good sign too.
It’d also partly been
Sadie’s suggestion to apply for a teaching position in Chicago. She’d been irritated every time Gabby ignored one of Adrian’s phone calls.
The argument—and Sadie’s insistence—echoed with renewed clarity in her mind.
“Will you answer him already?” Sadie had said. “Put the poor man out of his misery, or better yet, make up with him.”
“It’s just guilt,” Gabby had argued. “He’s only calling because he feels bad for not telling me about my aunt.” They’d been involved briefly, but it was just a game, something to trick his mom so he didn’t get hooked up with someone else.
Sadie had pursed her lips. “If that was the case, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t keep calling you every single day.”
“I don’t know if I can trust him, Sadie,” Gabby had told her in response. “After what my parents did. After this whole thing with my aunt. How can you trust anyone?”
Sadie had propped her elbows on the counter. “Did he actually lie to you?”
Gabby had flicked through her memories. Lie directly to her? “Not exactly.”
“Who did he lie to, then?” Sadie had asked.
“Well, to his mom, and everyone else every time he claimed I was his girlfriend. Except…”
Her mind had wandered. Adrian hadn’t really lied about that. After calling her honey in front of his mom, he’d been completely upfront about it, explaining his reasoning. It’d been in part to protect her from his mother’s scrutiny after being found in their family’s cabin.
The moment had flashed in her mind. He’d been completely straight forward. He’d asked her to be his girlfriend, and after some deliberation, she’d willingly agreed.
All this time she’d been simmering over his dishonesty, but had he really been dishonest? Something inside of her had started to puddle then. For all intents and purposes, she had been his girlfriend. He’d found excuses to hold her hand, to hide away in the barn, to give her the most mind-blowing kiss she’d ever had. They’d gone on dates and shared parts of themselves they’d never shared with anyone else. If that wasn’t boyfriend-girlfriend material, she wasn’t sure what was.
With dawning realization and a nugget of guilt in the pit of her stomach, Gabby had met Sadie’s expectant gaze. “It wasn’t just some fake claim. I think he really did see me as his girlfriend.” Which meant…
He cared about her. The sly, pensive gazes, the playful banter and requests for hugs, the hand-holding and confidential conversations. They’d all been real.
“See?” Sadie had said, reaching for an apple in the basket on their counter. She’d taken a large bite and smiled. “He’s not as bad as you were thinking.”
Her heart had banged against her ribs in an unprecedented way. All this time, she’d been so confused, so sure it’d been an act. Could it be true? Could Adrian really have been interested in her?
He’s not as bad as you were thinking.
Not bad, Gabby had mentally agreed. Not bad in the slightest. A strange tingling had started in her toes, prickling its way up her legs and to her spine.
“You’re right,” Gabby had said. “Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to at least talk to him. Get things sorted out.”
“If you don’t do it now, you’ll always wonder. Look at how long your aunt-mom waited. Look at all that lost time.”
Sadie had been completely right. Lost time was the perfect way to put it. Gabby had considered calling Adrian back, but for some reason, this wasn’t something she wanted to do over the phone. It just so happened the job interview coincided perfectly with her new-laid plans.
Plans which included heading to Chicago and baring her soul to the man she was pretty sure she was falling in love with. She hadn’t been looking for a relationship or having a man in her life long-term, but now that she’d experienced all of that, now that she thought she could trust Adrian—really trust him—she was desperate to give it a try.
She glanced at the clock above the door. Three more hours until her flight. She’d been communicating with a high school principal in a Chicago suburb. A principal who knew her by her real name. He was optimistic that she was perfect for the position and needed only to meet with her before finalizing the offer.
With bees in her stomach, Gabby had agreed and booked her flight the next day. Even though it was only about a five-hour drive, she wasn’t ready to tackle another road trip any time soon. If she’d gotten lost in Montana, she could only wonder what would happen in a city like Chicago.
So, flying it was. She intended to leave just as soon as she could. She would find out where Bear Financial Investments was located, land herself on his doorstep, and explain everything. Explain the way he made her feel as though there was a balloon in her chest, and the way he’d inserted himself into everything that she was.
A pinprick of uncertainty walked hand in hand with those thoughts. After the way she’d left, and how she’d been ignoring him, would Adrian want to see her?
There was only one way to find out, and that left her with even more buzzing in her stomach. She had one stop to make before retrieving her bags from her apartment and heading out.
Gabby hadn’t returned to her parent’s house since the day she’d come home over a month ago, but a nagging voice inside wouldn’t let her leave without seeing them. She packed a few final things from her desk into her bag, made her way to the teacher’s lounge to say goodbye to her fellow teachers, and then she was leaving Baldwin behind.
It was time for her to get lost on purpose.
***
The trepidation she expected to feel wasn’t there. Gabby strolled into her parents’ home to find her dad and mom sitting in their recliners watching TV. Her dad muted the show when he saw her.
“Hey,” he said as though it was normal for her to be there. “How was the last day of school?”
Gabby paused long enough to realize that he knew it’d been her last day. Her dad had always shown more interest in her life than her mom did.
“Refreshing,” Gabby said.
Her mom rose from her recliner. “It’s good to see you.”
“You, too.” The minute the words left, she realized they were true. She was glad to see them both. “In fact, I’m glad you’re both here. I was hoping we could talk.”
“We’d love that,” said her dad. “Come sit down, sweetie.”
Good old Dad, always making her feel special and important. Her mom stood in the room’s center as though she didn’t know what to do with herself. Gabby took a few steps farther in but didn’t sit.
“I’m not going to stay and visit,” she said. “I wanted to tell you both, I understand why you did what you did. I’m still trying to forgive you for it, but I want you to know, I understand it.”
The last six weeks had given her plenty of time to reflect on everything. She’d been in contact with Bethany and was learning more about her situation as well. A seventeen-year-old girl with a tendency for rebellion, a boyfriend who had left; it hadn’t exactly been a stable home for a baby. Bethany had finished school after Gabby was born. She’d been able to get an associate’s degree, buy a house, and manage her life better than she would have under different circumstances.
Gabby had been excited when Bethany began texting her randomly about things the way Sadie did. The way a friend would do. She was beginning to feel like a friend. It was Bethany who suggested she make things right with her mom. She explained that Jacey had always been a little prickly, but even a cactus had blossoms, and she loved her.
You don’t know how hard things must have been for your mom, Bethany had texted. It takes bravery to do the right thing for your kids. She was doing what she thought was best for you.
It had been just what Gabby had needed to hear, to see things from her mom’s perspective as well.
“I’m glad,” said her mom. “We’ve thought about you a lot since you returned home.”
Gabby nodded. “Thanks. I also wanted you to know, I’m leaving.”
“What?”
&nbs
p; “I’m going to Chicago.”
Her mom closed her eyes and turned away. “I knew this would happen. I knew she would take you from me.”
“It’s not to be with Bethany. I have a job interview there.”
“Why would you ever want to work clear in Chicago?” Her mom folded her arms. For the first time in her life, the tone, the gesture, the entire package of Jacey Bybanks didn’t seem like a condescending, disapproving hawk out to peck out her every mistake. This was just how her mom was. The usual intimidation Gabby felt around her mom didn’t surface. She had Bethany to thank for that.
“While I was in Montana, I met someone. His name is Adrian Bear, and we sort of hit it off.”
Her mom’s mouth parted. “You failed to mention this. I still don’t see what he has to do with Chicago.”
“He was only visiting Two Pines as well. Chicago is where he lives.”
“And he’s invited you there?”
Gabby swallowed. “Not exactly. He doesn’t know I’m coming. I’m hoping when I get there he’ll be happy to see me.”
She waited for the lecture. For her mom to spell out exactly how harebrained this scheme was, to throw her life away and move to be with some guy she’d only known for a week. To her surprise, the room stayed silent.
“Let us know how the interview goes,” her dad said, rising from his recliner. He crossed the room and pulled her into a hug. “Sure are proud of you, sweetie. If this guy doesn’t want you, he’s nuts.”
She laughed against her dad’s chest. “Thanks, Daddy.” The hug swirled inside of her, making her feel warmer and more loved by them both than she had in a long time. It meant that much more—that they weren’t questioning her choices.
She pulled away, and her dad nudged her chin with a knuckle. “I hope you’re happy, Goldie.”
In that moment, she sensed the endearment of the nickname. It was a term of affection, not a brand. “Thanks for saying that, Dad. And if you don’t mind, I’d like to be called Gabby from now on.”
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