And I spilled my guts.
* * *
‘So what? We’re all her dogs and are supposed to show up and have some fuckfest for her benefit? So she can then claim you as her knight in shining armour?’ Cooper crossed his arms, his jaw set, green eyes dark now.
Deke opened his mouth, but it was my voice that came out.
‘First of all,’ I said, ‘she is right here. You can speak directly to me. Secondly, I had … fantasies when this whole thing started. I was hellbent on not falling for any of you. Clearly, I failed. But I feel like I still want to explore those fantasies at least once in my life.’
I took two big steps toward him and he almost looked like he wanted to back up and away from me. Stephen laughed softly. I was glad it amused him – how obviously terrifying I was to Cooper on some level.
‘I want you there,’ I said to him, softly. It was everything in me to keep my voice even and sure. ‘But I won’t put up with your abuse or your bullshit. I’m sorry for whatever has made you hurt this way, but I didn’t do it to you. If anything, I am reaching out to you. I want you there,’ I said again. ‘But I won’t beg. So you decide.’
His mouth stayed clamped shut, but understanding flooded his eyes and he gave me one brisk nod.
‘This is a one-shot deal. Me and …’ I shook my head, laughing.
‘What?’ Stephen spoke up. His grey eyes stark and a bit sad, but clearly amused too.
‘Nothing. I just about said something that …’
‘Tell us,’ he urged. ‘I’m definitely in if you spill.’
‘Me and the three little pigs,’ I whispered, chuckling.
I shrugged when they all looked surprised and Cooper growled, ‘Great. Now we’re livestock.’
‘It just struck me that way when I first moved in. All three of you over there with your little houses, overshadowed by that tower that – come on, let’s face it – makes a person think of fairy tales. And Deke was so suave and Satan-ish –’
‘Satan!’ he barked, but he was grinning at me.
‘And Stephen was so quiet and meek. And Cooper …’
‘I’m more of the big fucking bad wolf than a pig,’ he muttered.
‘True,’ I said.
‘It was a new life, guys. It had a very fairy tale aspect to it that got wedged in my brain and stayed. But now I want one time. One time with you.’
‘And him?’ Cooper asked, nodding to Deke.
‘Is that an issue?’
‘No.’ He grinned.
Deke looked surprised. ‘You want me there too?’
‘You didn’t know?’
He shook his head. ‘I thought you were asking for a time with them. Without me. Since I …’ He shrugged. ‘You know.’
‘No, I want you there,’ I said. ‘Actually, I need you there.’
He blushed. A sharp flood of red stained his face and it made me smile. It also made me unable to ignore the rush of love I felt for him in that moment.
I was doomed. Doomed to love a Satan-ish man with a good heart and an open mind – and some mad skills in the sack.
‘Fine,’ he said. ‘That’s fine. I’m there. Anything for you.’
And I knew he meant it.
Chapter Thirty-Four
‘I’m going to throw up,’ I said.
That’s the thing about fiction – you read about these three-way, four-way, gang bang scenarios and no one gets nervous. Everyone is cool as a cucumber, intense or just fun-loving. They’re all self-assured and a hundred per cent certain. No one ever threatens to vomit.
‘No, you’re not.’
Deke had set it up in a hotel room. Just outside of town. He figured – and he was wise as hell, I realised – that since it was a one-time deal, a neutral place would work.
I didn’t want it lingering in my home or his. And the other two houses were his too. So when all was said and done, it just made sense.
‘The bed is big.’
He cocked an eyebrow at me.
‘And white,’ I said.
He smiled.
‘It’s all virginal and whatnot,’ I snickered. ‘Think it will burst into flames the moment I touch it?’
Finally, he laughed. He dropped into an easy chair by the huge windows that faced a lake. The chair was upholstered in fabric that looked like newsprint. The chair was a vibrant exclamation point of black and white and he damn near blended in with his black jeans, black sweater and white T-shirt. A small rim of red around the collar of his sweater was the only thing that made him stand out. That and his big hands on the armrests.
Fuck, how I loved those hands on me.
We hadn’t been together since that last night. Since I’d let him take me in a way none of the others had. And I didn’t plan to let them either.
He patted his lap. ‘Come on. Give me a kiss.’
I sighed, feeling a surge of inexplicable relief. Maybe just relief that he still liked me after all of this. Not that he’d complained at all, all the worry and upset had been in my head and nowhere else.
I stood before him, ready to sit but not doing it. He looked up at me and touched my hipbone through my jeans. And then the other. A rush of warmth and want pooled in my centre and I sighed. Maybe I should …
There was a knock and a spark of excitement lit me up on the inside. My breath quickened and my blood followed suit.
‘Come on. One before they enter.’ Deke leaned forward, kissed my belly and exhaled long and slow. Then he pulled me into his lap and took my face in his hands and kissed me.
‘You are one hundred and fifty-five per cent sure you are okay with this?’ I asked for the millionth time.
‘We do what you need to do and then you don’t run from me. Right? You don’t run from me.’ His eyes were more serious than I’d ever seen before.
‘I won’t run from you,’ I said – meaning it.
‘You can tell me anything in the world, Farrell. But you have to tell me. Even if it’s that you’ve changed your mind about me.’
I swallowed hard and nodded. ‘Got it.’
‘Promise?’
‘I promise.’
Another loud knock – impatient and aggressive now.
And there was that kiss. One more for the road. The soft sweep of his tongue over mine; that made me want to not answer the door and beg him to take me. Instead, I stood and headed toward the door.
It was Coop in the lead – big shock – and I found that I both wanted to kiss him and punch him when he cocked an eyebrow at me and said, ‘Open wide.’
I stepped back. ‘You’d better come in before I change my mind about you.’
He snorted, walked past me, his steps full of pompous swagger and under it a lead-footed drag. Like he really didn’t want to get this over with. This is why it would never work long term between James Cooper and me. He was a hot-headed, loud-mouthed ass who hid his feelings with barbs and sharp words. We were good in bed but not beyond.
And behind him came Stephen, a pretty wraith – his grey eyes taking in the fancy room, his soft lips curving up into a smile for me. ‘Hey, Farrell.’ He kissed my cheek. ‘I figured we could duct tape his mouth shut so we all can enjoy this.’
I smiled and hugged Stephen. He hugged me back, tightly. This was why it would never work with him, I realised. He was too fragile under it all. He needed someone who needed to take care of him and let him care for them. I wasn’t a caretaker, I was just a woman.
‘You okay with this?’
‘Duh,’ he whispered in my ear.
In the corner, Deke was still sitting and Coop was eyeing him up. They stared at each other, Cooper standing looking dominant, Deke sitting and looking defiant … and partly amused, I noted.
‘How is Al?’ I asked Stephen.
He blushed. Al was the pretty blond boy I’d watched him with. They’d been spotted around town more than once since my striptease debut.
‘He’s good,’ he said.
I touched the hot spots on his pale cheeks and snickered. ‘
So I see. Okay, get naked.’
He blinked.
‘Kidding. Sort of.’
I turned to the other two, my heart beating so fast I felt sick. ‘Are we ready? Because, not to sound like a mental patient, but if I wait much longer I might run away. Or drop dead.’
‘Aren’t we all going to hold hands and share our feelings first?’ Cooper asked, but then he shocked me by dropping me a wink before he yanked his hooded sweatshirt over his head. His sandy hair stood up in militant spikes and his green eyes were bright but unreadable.
‘No. We’re not. What we’re going to do is take our clothes off and listen to Farrell,’ Deke said, bending to untie his work boots. He took them off slowly, like he had all the time in the world. Next bit, wool socks – for the weather had turned from nippy to bitter these last few days.
When he sat back, he smiled at me, and I felt my body warm all over. This was why it would work between us. This man who’d drawn me in from the first moment. Who made me throw caution to the wind – or at least a stuck elevator. The man who made me laugh and made me feel safe and – understood me. The man who was utterly okay with me doing what I needed to do – and being there with me when I did it.
Love.
My skin pebbled with goose bumps at the realisation and I smiled at him. Stripping my tunic off and then my jeans, I tried to calm myself. My hands were shaking, even my lips trembled.
You can do this …
I shivered in my bra and panties and then made a startled noise when Stephen, of all people, yanked me in by the waistband of my panties and kissed me. His lips were soft but his tongue was harsh, pushing into my mouth, battling with mine. He sucked my tongue gently then and a rush of fluid wet my panties and I sighed into his mouth.
‘I’ll miss you, Farrell,’ he said in my ear.
There was that tight and painful catch in my throat and all I could do was nod.
Cooper stepped up behind me, pressing all of himself to the back of me and I felt that in the time it took for that kiss to happen, he’d gotten down to skin. Nothing but the heat of his flesh brushed up against me and I wondered if Deke was angry, or sad, or left out, or –
But then I stopped myself. We’d talked. If at any time anyone wanted out, we spoke up. No hard feelings. No anger. After my own feelings, his were the most important to me. Odd how fast and how easily that had happened.
He didn’t stop me, and I didn’t stop me, as Cooper turned me in his arms. I heard the rustle of Stephen’s clothes and over Coop’s shoulder I saw Deke. Taking off the black sweater slowly, watching me, looking fine but for the hard on he was sporting.
It almost made me laugh to see him that way, but Coop pulled me flush to his erection and kissed me. His tongue travelling the place where Stephen’s had just been. ‘How are we doing this, Feral?’ he asked. Using that dreaded mean name, but his voice was soft and his eyes were kind.
It took my words away right then, seeing him look at me this way.
‘Well, that depends on how open-minded you are,’ I whispered, touching his bottom lip with my fingers.
He groaned, rolled his eyes, sucked my fingertip until I felt an echoing tug in my cunt. ‘Why do I not like the sound of that?’
I shrugged. But I did know. ‘I’d like you to fuck him into me,’ I said, pressing my mouth to his ear so only he could hear me.
His body went tense, but his cock jumped where it rested against the split of my pussy. He liked the idea. He liked me saying it. The question was – would he admit it.
‘If I get a crack at you first. Five minutes. Me and you. Last time. For old time’s sake,’ he said.
‘Fine.’ I didn’t have to think about it. ‘Where do you want m –’
I didn’t get to finish it because he’d hauled me up and, with three big steps, he’d dropped me on the bed. ‘Spread your legs.’
My gaze – automatically – went to Deke, who simply nodded. His jeans were undone. His cock was in his hand. He looked calm and fine and peaceful.
I spread my legs.
Cooper was in me, over me, crushing me, holding me, in an instant. He kissed my eyelids and my throat. His fingers pinned my wrists down to my sides and I moved up under him greedily. I could feel eyes on me; Deke’s eyes. The man I loved. Stephen’s eyes, the man I thought was amazing.
Both of them watching as Cooper pinned me and fucked and growled right against my ear lobe. ‘I’ll miss you, Feral. I thought maybe you were –’
I wrapped my legs around his waist and took every nearly angry thrust. His cock drove hard and deep, and with every slide of his big body into mine, the tip of him brushed the swollen ready places in me so that it was overwhelming. Too big and too intense to even process so I moved my head – one of the few things I could move – and kissed him. Biting his lip hard enough to make him stiffen. Biting him hard enough to make him hiss.
And I came – a big, huge release that shook me from the inside out, a brutal tremble that even made my teeth chatter for a moment. ‘Don’t come, don’t come. Don’t,’ I whispered.
He chuckled, pulling out of me quickly. ‘You are a mindfuck, kid.’ His fingers tangled in my bangs.
‘I’m not her,’ I said.
I could feel the other two moving in, it was like they were circling. Animals moving closer to investigate. The wildness of that moment stunned me. I felt like prey to a set of predators and my cunt rippled with a small, late, but blissful, spasm.
I touched his belly and watched my muscles undulate. ‘I’m not the girl to whip your ass into shape …’
He grinned at me, a bit of pain visible in his startling eyes.
‘But I was a good sparring partner. Good start. Now go find the girl who can finish you off.’
He shook his head, turned to Stephen and touched the slighter man’s pale chest. Stephen stood there in nothing but boxers looking almost as nervous as me, which I found utterly endearing.
‘Looks like I’m fucking you into her.’ Coop smacked Stephen’s ass and Stephen gasped.
‘If that’s okay with you,’ I said softly.
Stephen didn’t talk. He just nodded.
‘And you,’ I said to Deke. ‘You I’d like …’ It was my turn to blush. Why? I was always so forward, but Jesus, in this odd and charged moment, I was tongue-tied.
‘Between those pretty lips?’ Deke asked, bending to kiss me. He’d bailed me out. As usual.
‘Yes, please,’ I said. I spoke right into his mouth, kissing him with an insane need. I found his cock and squeezed him, moving my fist up and down to feel the hardness and the swell of him. To feel that small involuntary jerk of him thrusting into my fist.
‘I can do that.’ He kissed the crown of my head, triggering a small shiver. Then he was at the head of the bed and waiting patiently.
I’d planned it all perfectly, believe it or not. Stephen was the least aggressive, so for my sake and Deke’s it was him I wanted in me, fucking me. And he had always been attracted to Coop – maybe even a little bit in love with him – and I’d always wanted to see two men fucking. Especially if one of them was as straight as the proverbial arrow. The idea of Coop fucking Stephen into me, made my teeth sing, it turned me on so much.
And Deke, well he was mine. At least I wanted him to be, and when this all went down I wanted to be most intimate with him – and to me a blow job had always been a thousand times more intimate than sex.
He stroked my face from above, watching me, no doubt seeing the wheels turning as Cooper made some joke and Stephen fished a condom out of his jeans. His hands, I noticed, were shaking as much as mine.
Deke’s hand smoothed over my brow and down my cheeks. He bent and tickled his fingers over my collarbone and down the side swells of my breasts so my nipples stood up in hard little knots. Then he moved over me to suck one hard nub into his mouth before kissing lower on my ribcage. I moved my head to find him and his cock brushed my lips. I had to crane my neck a bit from the way he was sitting, but I got my lips
around the hot tip of him and sucked – it made him laugh and groan simultaneously.
‘Hurry, Vogel,’ Coop chuckled. ‘The love birds are starting without us.’
When Deke sat back and stared down at me he mouthed, ‘I love you,’ and I almost burst into tears.
That feeling passed because Stephen was kissing my thighs. ‘You know, I feel like I might pass out,’ he said conversationally.
It was hard for me to remember as his lips grazed up my legs and over my jutting hipbones that I was the newcomer here. These men had been boys together. Once upon a time they’d all been young and I did not exist in their world.
‘Don’t pass out,’ I said, touching his dark hair. ‘I like what you’re doing.’
His grey eyes found mine, spearing me with that icy gaze. I smiled down at him and he smiled up at me, his tongue skating over my clitoris so my hips thrust up all on their own. Deke leaned over me, pinching my nipples, so the rough sensation melded with the soft one and my belly rippled violently from the feeling.
I moved my head, seeking him out with my mouth to fulfil his part in all of this, but he whispered, ‘Hey, soon. But for now, let’s not impede your view.’
My view. Which would be almost as important in all of this as the sensation of being fucked and taken and all of that stuff by the three men I’d truly come to care for. To love. To admire.
Stephen sucked my swollen clitoris hard, pulling his head back just enough to give me that tugging feeling. And then he moaned softly against me because Cooper was pushing a lubed finger into his ass.
‘Get ready for all your wildest dreams to come true,’ Coop said.
There was a pregnant pause and then in unison we all laughed. The laughter was part fear and part genuine amusement.
‘Leave it to you,’ I groaned, ‘to bring some fucked up levity to the party.’
‘Happy to oblige,’ Coop said.
But then he must have added another finger because Stephen’s face went from a wide grin to a blissful mask. His eyes fluttered shut, his mouth parted, his cheeks flooded with colour.
I pushed my finger into Stephen’s mouth and his eyes shot open again. He sucked and I felt that pressure in my cunt, though I was empty at the moment.
Boys Next Door Page 22