by Tara Sue Me
He will, if I ask him. I know this as sure as I know my own name. But it’s not what I want. Not even close. “No,” I tell him, and then to make sure he knows I’m telling him the truth, and to ensure there is no doubt about what exactly it is I want, I wrap my arms around his neck. “I want you to stay.”
There’s a hint of mischief in his eyes when he replies, “If it pleases you for me to do so, Madame President.”
Even though he’s joking, I scowl. “For tonight, I don’t want you to see me as the President. I only want you to see Anna.”
“Yes,” he whispers. “But only for tonight.”
He lowers his head, removing all the remaining distance between us and he kisses me. His lips stroking a long ignored fire inside. Bringing it to life, and burning so hot, it threatens to consume all of me. For tonight, I repeat. I’ll let it burn me, but only for tonight.
He guides me until we’re beside the bed, his lips never leaving mine. When we come to a stop, his hands tease and torment as he undresses me. First, my shirt goes, quickly followed by my pants, and I’m standing in my underwear. My body is a whirlwind of sensation. I’d not embellished how it was to be with Navin in the bedroom. We aren’t even undressed yet and I’m more aroused than I’d ever been.
I’ve never wanted to feel a man everywhere, and all at once. Already I mourn that we only have tonight, and not just because I know being with Navin again, will truly ruin me forever for other men, but because it’s so much more than I remembered. So intense. So emotional. So much.
I can’t keep from touching him any longer; I untuck his shirt and slip my hands under the material and across the cut lines of his chest muscles.
“Your hands feel so good,” he mutters, dragging his lips away from mine and placing tiny kisses along my neckline. He finds the spot that makes me shiver and smiles against my skin. “I’d wondered if that spot still trembled that way. Let’s see how many more places on your body I can remember how to make quiver under my touch?”
Every last one of them, probably.
I don’t realize I answered out loud until he replies, “Shall we see if you’re right?”
“Oh, God,” is all I can say, because he’s removed my bra and covered a nipple with his mouth. I lift my chest both as an offering and in an effort to get closer, and I brush his erection in the process. Holy shit, he’s bigger than I remember. It makes me want him more.
I pull back for a minute and he raises an eyebrow at me.
“These.” I grab the waist of his pants. “Off.”
His upper lip curves into a sexy grin. “You do it.”
I can’t tell if he’s issuing me a challenge or not. But if he thinks I’m not going to do it, he’s in for a surprise. I unbuckle his belt, but don’t remove it from his pants. Next, I undo the buttons at his waistband, and ever so slowly, I take his zipper down, making sure my fingers drag across the cotton and the bulge straining to be released. He sucks in a breath and I swallow my smile, loving his reaction to my touch.
I slowly stand once he’s kicked the pants off. “There,” I say. “That’s more like it.”
His eyes are dark and there’s a hunger in them I’ve never seen. A hunger for me. It seems too fantastical to be real. He’s watching me, studying me, and though I would expect to feel exposed, I only feel desired.
“But you know,” I say. “There’s one thing that I would like even more.”
“Do tell,” he says, his eyes never leaving me.
“I want to see all of you.” But instead of reaching for his boxer briefs, I hook my fingers on the waistband of my panties and ease them down over my hips. “So it’s only fair for you to see all of me.”
“My God, Anna,” he says when I’m completely undressed. “You’re even more beautiful than I remember.” He takes a step toward me, but I shake my head and point to his boxer briefs. He stands up straight. “If you insist.”
“I really do.”
I’ve always considered Navin to be one of the most handsome men I’ve known. It’s not only my opinion, but one that has been shared via magazine covers and lists detailing the best-looking men in America for at least the last five years. Good thing they’ve never seen him naked because holy crap on a cracker, it should be a mortal sin for him to wear clothes.
“Better?” he asks and it’s a turn-on how unabashedly confident he is naked. It’s not anything any other man I’ve been with has even attempted, much less been able to pull off. But then again, nothing about Navin is like other guys.
“You’ll do,” I tease, not able or even really trying to keep the smile out of my tone.
He snorts. “I should have expected you to say something like that.” He doesn’t wait for a response before continuing. “What is it about you, Anna?”
I tilt my head, unsure what he’s talking about.
“What is it about you that captivates everyone you come into contact with? Why have thoughts of you haunted me all these years?”
“I don’t—" I start, but he holds up his hand to quiet me.
“That’s what makes it even more remarkable. The fact that you don’t know what I’m talking about. You’re totally oblivious to the effect you have on people.” He comes closer now and this time I don’t stop him. He gently takes me in his arms. “I think you’re the sexiest, most confident woman I’ve ever met. And right now I want you so bad, if I don’t get inside you soon, I might be the first recorded death due to blue balls.”
I run a finger down his cheek, his face scratchy with almost a full day’s growth. “It would be detrimental for my reelection chances for you to die while in my company. We’ll need to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
I turn around so he can watch my backside as I climb on top of the bed. Once I make it to the middle, I face him. “Are you going to join me?”
“I don’t have to,” he says, still looking at my backside.
“I thought if you didn’t get inside of me, you would die?”
“I might be willing to die if it means I can watch your ass some more,” he says, stroking himself and, though I’d have thought it to be damn near impossible, he grows even longer.
“We might have to go with that.” I eye his length. “I wasn’t aware you were carrying a concealed weapon in your pants every day. I think you had a growth spurt or five.”
“I would never dream of hurting you, Anna,” he says softly, and no longer teasing.
I don’t think he would either, but I’m not sure how aware men are concerning their size. For some reason I feel the need to let him know I’m not as worldly in the bedroom as l am in other areas. “In the interest of complete transparency and full disclosure,” I say. “I feel as if I should tell you I’ve only slept with two other men after you.”
I’ve surprised him with that. His eyes look like they might fall out of his head he’s got them so wide. “Two?”
“Yes,” I say, hoping it doesn’t come across as sharply as it sounded in my head. “Is that a problem?”
“God, no.” He scrabbles up to sit beside me on the bed. “I was just a bit shocked.”
I shrug. “I’ve been otherwise occupied.”
“I can understand that.”
It hits me how absurd this entire conversation is. Seriously. Both of us naked and on the bed. Although I’m a bit shocked how being naked around Navin doesn’t feel uncomfortable at all.
“Let me ask you this, Anna,” he says. “And be honest with me.” He waits for me to nod before continuing. “Do you trust me? In this. For tonight. While I’m in your bed?”
It’s a sharp reminder that we are different people outside my bedroom door. That we are different people than we once were. And he is aware of the fact that all is not completely well between us work wise. I would have thought the reminder would be enough to put a halt to the reason we were having the conversation in the first place.
Oddly enough, it’s the exact opposite. To have him admit all is not perfect between us and to still w
ant me....
“Yes, l do, Navin. I trust you completely in this. For tonight.”
A look of relief covers his face at my acceptance. “Lay back with your head on the pillow. You can keep your legs bent if you want.”
I’m not one to take orders all that easily. Comes with the job, I suppose. Yet, I don’t hesitate to do as he asks. I’m well aware in this, he is a lot more knowledgeable than I.
He waits until I get situated the way he requested. Once I’m settled, he moves to kneel between my bent legs. He pushes them apart a bit and is able to get closer.
“You’re so tense,” he says, and I realize he’s right. I’m naked and on my bed with the most gorgeous man in the country, possibly the world, who also happens to be naked and my mind is running in fifty different directions.
“I’m thinking too much as well,” I admit.
He runs a hand up my leg, and his fingers brush the backside of my knee. The unexpected sensation makes me gasp. He only smiles.
“Here’s what you’re going to do,” he says. “You’re going to stop thinking about anything other than what’s going on in this bed. Can you do that?”
“I’ll try.” I’m not sure I’ve ever been able to turn my mind off like that. But I can at least try.
“I guess I’ll take what I can get,” he says with a smile. Then his head is between my legs and his mouth is on me, and oh my, God. It’s nearly too much and I have to bite my sheets so I don’t yell out and make the Secret Service swarm in.
My hands find their way to his head and I clutch his hair in my fists. I’m not sure if I’m trying to stop him or ensuring he never leaves. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem to bother him I’m all but pulling his hair out by its roots.
I lose track of time. It’s the easiest thing in the world to be this way with Navin. It might be the easiest thing I’ve ever done. He is nothing like my previous lovers. But neither is he the way I remembered.
He’s not only better, he’s a maddening mixture of things that don’t belong together, but somehow fit exactly right.
Bliss fills me in a way it never has before, and I never want to leave this bed. It’s still night, I tell myself to justify why I’m not kicking him out. We have a few hours left. I can be Anna for a little while longer.
“I wonder,” he says. I have my head on his chest and he’s stroking my shoulder with his thumb. “Would we have lasted back then, if I hadn’t left?”
It’s a question I hadn’t thought of before and I know the answer immediately. “No,” I tell him. “I don’t think we would have. We were on two separate paths. You were on your way to becoming a judge and I was headed toward fighting for human rights. I think we’d still be friends, or at least I hope we would be, but I don’t think we’d be together like this.”
“I’m not sure I could be friends with you in that case.”
He sounds so convinced, I lift my head, so I can see his face. “Why would you say something like that?”
He strokes my cheek. “Because every sight of you would remind me of what we could have had and my heart would grieve knowing I would never find it again with anyone else.”
“You couldn’t know that. It’s always possible the person you’re looking for is right around the corner.”
“But I do know it, Anna,” he says and is resolute.
I push myself up on my elbow. “What does that mean for us now?” My mind is spinning, trying to determine if he’s going to leave the Press Pool. I’ve always been adamant about remaining single, but already I’m thinking up ways to sneak him around. Ways for us to sneak around together.
“Anna.” He sits up, and pulls me with him. “Stop. I can see your mind working overtime trying to work everything out. For a few days, can we just be? Just enjoy what we have?”
“You make it sound so easy,” I tell him. “And it’s not. There are people—"
“Anna,” he says again, but with more force this time. “I mean it. If you feel the need to analyze this, I won’t stop you, but I’ll be damned if you’re going to worry over anything when you’re naked and in bed with me.”
I have to smile at how serious he sounds. “Is that a fact?”
“It is,” he says, his voice still as firm.
“Then I suggest you find a way to keep my mind otherwise occupied.” I run a finger down his chest and he sucks a breath in. “Think you can handle that?”
He lowers his head closer to me. “I suppose there’s only one way to find out,” he says, and then his lips are on mine and his hands are touching me, and once more he makes the rest of the world fade away.
The next day is Friday and there is a low level buzzing throughout my body the entire day. I think it’s both anticipation and my body telling me there is no way one night with Navin will ever be enough. His words whispered in the darkness echo in my head.
For a few days, can we just be? Just enjoy what we have?
I can no longer think of a reason to argue. So I don’t. While eating lunch at my desk during a spare ten minutes, I write him a quick note and give it to Nicole to deliver. With the knowledge I’ll be seeing Navin again soon, I finish my lunch, ready to face the rest of my day.
At twenty-five minutes after six, I’m finished for the day. I’m walking to the map room, when Oliver passes me with an escort. It’s been months since I’ve seen him.
“Oliver,” I say. “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in ages.”
He flashes me a smile. “That’s because you’re slightly busy, Madame President, and David and I can’t invite you over for pizza like we used to.”
He’s right of course. “Then we’ll have to go about it a different way. The two of you look at a calendar and let me know what’s a good date, and I’ll have the two of you over.”
“It’s a date,” he says. “We’ll look this weekend.”
“Are you on your way to see him now?” I’m not sure I’ve ever known Oliver to visit David in the White House.
“Yes,” Oliver replies. “We’re supposed to meet some friends in Baltimore tonight and I need to make sure he gets off on time.”
“Smart move.” I nod in understanding. “He won’t be able to ignore you if you’re standing over him. I hope you guys have a great evening.”
We say goodbye and I hurry to the map room, not wanting to be late.
Of course, Navin is waiting for me when I step inside, but he’s used to me being a few minutes late. His dark eyes are sparkling with mischief and something else.
“When you told me you had something to show me, Madame President, old maps were not what I was thinking you meant.”
I give his chest a playful slap. “There’s a back hallway we can use to go upstairs to the third floor discreetly.”
“Lead the way.”
We’re able to make it to the third floor with only the Secret Service knowing Navin is with me. I take his hand and lead him to a closed door. “Are you ready?” I tease.
“Anna,” he says. “There is nothing behind that door that could be more impressive than you. But I’ll try my best to be amazed.”
I chuckle and push the door open, pleased when I hear his intake of breath.
“What is this?” he asks.
I look at the room, nearly all of it made from impenetrable glass. The whole of Washington DC is spread out below us. It’s an awe worthy view and one not found anywhere else.
“It’s the Solarium,” I tell him. “One of my favorite places in the White House, and before now I haven’t had anyone to share it with.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Him
White House
Washington DC
I’m awake before Anna on Monday morning, after spending the weekend tucked away in the Residence. While Anna left a few hours over the weekend, I stayed and worked here. It was almost normal. But now that it is Monday, I have to try to make it out of her room well before four in the morning so I can exit the White House with as few eyes on me as possible.
Plus, if I don’t want to be called out for wearing the same clothes that I wore on Friday, I need to go shower and change.
I leave Anna sleeping and once I slip out of her room, and walk a few steps away, I call for a cab. This time of the morning there won’t be any traffic, so I head outside to wait, aware of the set of agents watching every move I make.
I make it back to the White House two hours later. The place is already buzzing as it comes to life for another day. But for me, it no longer feels routine, it feels different. I feel different. It doesn’t take a genius to know why. Anna.
We haven’t talked much about “us” other than those few words that first night. I’m not sure how long she’ll be willing to just let us be, but I’ll take whatever she can give me for however long it lasts. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want any romantic entanglements while she’s in office, so I’ll let her lead on where we go from here.
Being with her is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. For once, I can see myself with someone longer than a few weeks. I’ve spent the last few days getting to know the real Anna Fitzpatrick, and she is just as amazing, if not slightly more vulnerable, than her masked self.
Everything about the weekend had been perfect. The Solarium. Even sitting naked on top of that huge canopied bed, talking had been perfect. Perfectly Anna. How she trusted me to make it good for her. Then the way her body responded to my touch? Every. Single. Time. You guessed it, perfection.
Even though I probably have bags under my eyes, and I’ll more than likely fall asleep at my desk sometime today, at the moment, I’m on top of the world. I wonder what time Anna woke up, and how she’s feeling today. I think about asking her to lunch until it hits me at once.
Where we are.
Who we are.
We aren’t a normal couple, and we never will be. But no matter what we are, I have to pretend to the world that nothing has changed between us. I’m not sure if I can do it or not.
I make my way to my office, and yes, I’m sure I’m more chipper than normal, but if I have to pretend nothing’s changed when I interact with Anna in public, is it asking too much to be allowed to be happy without everyone thinking I’ve lost my damn mind?