by Ward, Tracey
“I’m not your mother,” she repeated.
“Then who are you? What are you?”
“A friend.”
“I seriously doubt that.” I quickly turned to Roarke, shaking his sleeping form. “Ro! Wake up!”
“He’ll not wake.”
My blood ran cold. I placed my hand cautiously on Roarke’s arm. It was warm and moving, rising and falling with the breath in his chest.
“What have you done?” I asked, my voice gaining strength found only with anger.
“Arranged us a bit of privacy. You and I need to talk.”
I glared at my mother’s form. “I don’t even know who you are. What could we possibly have to talk about? And why are you wearing my mother’s flesh?!”
My mother’s head shook, her face looking disappointed. “It is not her flesh. It’s an illusion. I chose to take a human form to make this easier for you.”
“You chose the wrong form. This is horrifying.”
“Is it? What about this?”
My mother shifted into Lord Walburton. The swiftness of it sent me scurrying back against Roarke’s body, pressing myself between him and the stranger.
“Is this not better?” the stranger asked in Patrick’s voice, though not his tone. “Are you still afraid? Honestly, I didn’t expect you would be so skittish.”
“This is insane,” I moaned.
“Do you trust this man?” the stranger asked, gesturing to his new body.
“Yes.”
“Good. Then you will trust me.”
“That’s not how it works.”
“It will suffice.”
“Who are you?”
“My true name will elude you. There’s no need to even try. Your friend calls me an Ila, which if I understand the meaning correctly, is close enough.”
My hands trembled. “You’re one of them,” I whispered accusingly.
“No,” he said darkly. “I assure you, I am not.”
His reaction surprised me. “You don’t care for them?”
“No. Quite the opposite.” He sat down casually on a low stone near the entrance. He leveled me in his gaze. “I want them dead.”
I snorted despite my fear. “Then we have something in common.”
He smiled. “Yes, I know.”
“Why do you want them dead? You’re all the same, aren’t you? I thought you need one another.”
“Do you like all humans?”
“Absolutely not, no.”
“Then we understand each other.”
“But the balance—“
“That’s an interesting point. What do you know of the balance?”
I glanced quickly at Roarke, wishing like mad that he was awake for this. I didn’t have any answers, only questions. And really, speaking to a spirit was much more his speed than mine. My notorious inability to hold my tongue would more than likely land me smote.
“I know that the Idris, the Fire, is gone and the island is different because of it. It’s wrong somehow. I know that the Undines and the Sylph are in control?”
“Is that a question?”
“It depends. Is it correct?”
He watched me impassively for a long moment before nodding sharply. “It is. They are.”
“I’m sorry,” I said without really knowing why.
“What else do you know?”
“What happened to the Idris?”
He shrugged, looking away, his eyes roaming about the cave. “Who can say?”
“Being eternal, I imagine you can.”
“I’m old but I’m not eternal. None of us are. And it doesn’t matter where the Idris has gone, what matters is only that it is in fact gone.”
“And the Undines are in too strong of numbers because of it.”
“Indeed. The Undines are… I’m not sure how to describe to you what the Undines truly are. They are supposed to be patient, tireless. They are meant to be as I am, a perfect counterpart to Idris and Sylph who are impulsive and changeable. But on this island, in the great numbers the Undines have gained, it has changed. They are as a hive now, mindless drones. Impetuous and selfish. And the Sylph is their Queen.”
“And you intend to kill them all? They’ll be nothing left but you.”
“I have no intention of killing them all. The Undine’s numbers will be thinned and the Sylph has to die, but that is all.”
“That’s all? There’ll just be you and some Undines. What will happen to the island and the balance then?”
“It will right itself. Eventually,” he said casually, completely unconcerned.
“How long has it been since the Idris died out? It hasn’t exactly bounced back from that yet, has it?”
He eyed me shrewdly. “You’re awfully concerned about things you don’t fully understand.”
I chuckled darkly. “Maybe if people explained things to me and helped me understand, I wouldn’t be so concerned about them.”
“You’re probably right, but I simply haven’t the time.”
“You’re ancient. You have nothing but time.”
“And it’s slipping away from us at the moment. You and the boy have set things in motion, a chain of events that will begin moving very, very quickly.”
“Does that mean you accept me?”
“You mean the binding?”
“Yes.”
He nodded slowly, solemnly. “I do.”
I felt my body sag with relief, the air in my lungs rushing out in a quick exhale that left me light headed.
“Thank you,” I whispered, scared to meet his eyes.
“Do you understand what this means?”
I glanced uncertainly at Roarke behind me. “I think so.”
“I doubt it. If you did, I don’t know that you’d be thanking me.”
“Does it mean the others can’t have me?”
“Yes.”
“Will you abuse me as they would?”
“No.”
“Then I thank you.”
He smiled slightly. It looked almost kind. Affectionate. “Very well.”
“What happens now?”
“Now you exit this cave. You leave my sanctuary and you enter into the world to be seen as you are.”
I frowned, not sure what that meant exactly. I really did like the sound of it. “You want me to walk out of here and go outside of your protection?”
“Yes.”
“And the other Elementals, they’ll know I’m bound to you? They’ll know they can’t have me?”
“Yes.”
“I think you’re right. I don’t understand.”
He chuckled darkly. “It’s best if you don’t.”
“Why?”
“Because if you did understand, you wouldn’t do it. And it needs doing.”
He stood gracefully, coming closer until he loomed above me. He looked down at me with Patrick’s face, with his eyes, but inside of them was something else. Something old and knowing. Something cunning.
“This is it, Annabel Lee. The solution I’ve been waiting on for thousands of years. This is how it ends.” He reached out his hand to me. “And it begins with you.”
Part Three - Roarke
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we—
Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,
In her sepulcher there by the sea—
In her tomb by the sounding sea.
From “Annabel Lee”,
by Edgar Allen Poe
Chapter Nineteen
I wake to the sound of thunder, the blazing white glare of a flash of lightning. Even before my eyes open, I know I’m alone. I know something is wrong. The cave is cold and dark, darker than death after the brief strike of fire from the sky. The world shouldn’t be this dark. It shouldn’t be this cold.
I run for the mouth of the cave, feeling the air seep into my skin, down to my bones, chilling me to my marrow. But it’s not me. It’s her.
It’s Anna.
I can feel the air burning her lungs with cold, freezing the moisture inside them and hardening the tissue. Her heart is slowing. It beats in my ears, pulses staccato in my own veins and it’s not enough. It’s not nearly fast enough.
Wherever she is, Anna is dying.
I run for the road, heading toward the castle because I honestly don’t know where else she would have gone. I feel the tug of her on my tattoo. A thrumming in my skin that tells me she’s out there somewhere. I just don’t know where.
“Anna!” I cry, searching through the dark and a rising fog.
The cold is getting stronger. The fog is thickening as lightning strikes again somewhere nearby, illuminating the world, but I see nothing. Nothing but white and wind. The air begins to crystalize and sparkle like diamonds, cutting my skin, sinking the cold deep inside my blood. I’m shaking. Trembling from cold and rage. They’re taking her and I’ll die tonight if I have to in order to go with her. She won’t spend one moment in their company alone.
“Anna!”
Snow begins to fall from the sky, swirling on the wind, beating against my face. I can barely keep my eyes open against the onslaught of freezing air and pelting flakes. I brace my arm against my forehead as I press on, leaning into the wind that pushes back against me. I’m getting closer. The skin around my tattoo is humming harder as the angry sound of the ocean thrashing and crashing against the rocks tells me I’m almost there. I’m almost to her.
Even so, I know I won’t save her. I never stood a chance. Not now, not even at the start when we were children and her green eyes glowed brightly in the sunlight. It’s hopeless, it always has been. But it won’t stop me from trying.
“Anna!”
“Ro.”
It’s a whisper on the ice in the air. The faintest stirring of music in my ear surrounded by the howling of the wind and the rumbling of the sea, but it’s there and it’s beautiful. I see her then. Her body lying on the frost whitened ground, her white dress spread out around her, her blond hair dancing in the wind.
I collapse on my knees beside her, gathering her into my arms, willing whatever warmth I have into her body. But she’s not even trembling. Not a shiver passes through her and I know then that I’ve lost her.
I hear hooves thunder in the distance, growing closer. I don’t bother looking up. I know who it is, who it will be to come and take her away from me. I’ve always known this is how it would end, but I had to try. And if that one night of having her as mine, knowing finally and forever that she wanted me for hers, if that’s all I ever get in this world then it will be enough.
I pull her to me, pressing my mouth to her ear. I pray she can hear me.
“My darling, my darling,” I whisper, my voice breaking and my body aching as I rock her back and forth in my arms. “My life, my bride.”
“She’s here!” a voice shouts over the thunder in the sky and on the ground.
I feel the earth shake beneath me as horses approach, as they skid to a halt beside us. But I do not look up. I do not let her go.
“Who is that? Who has her?”
“It looks like an Outsider!”
“He’s killing her! Get her away from him, now!”
Rough hands grab onto me and I let Anna go willingly. I don’t want them to hurt her in their rush to injure me. Even so, even though I put up no fight, I feel the sharp pain of a punch in my side. Another lands on my face and I’m thrown to the ground roughly, then kicked in my stomach. My breath rushes out of me but I don’t defend myself. I only watch through one good eye and a rapidly swelling second as they carefully lift Anna from the frozen ground and swiftly move her to a waiting carriage. The door is flung open. I see a man with her features but none of her sweetness take hold of her and pull her inside. They’re off before the door is even closed, turning sharply and racing back toward the castle. The men surrounding me pause. I wait for another blow to land, a kick to crack a rib, but they eventually mount their horses and race away into the white.
I’m left alone on the ground where she lay. Where her warmth leached into the earth, where it took and took from her and gave nothing in return. I roll onto my back and watch the blizzard dissipate, pulling away up into the sky, absorbing back into one big, brilliant white cloud that hovers menacingly over me. And I smile.
***
I return to the village. There’s nothing else for me to do. They’ll never let me see her and even if they did, I can’t do anything for her. Not anymore. I’ve done all I can. Now I have to wait and watch. And hope.
When I return home, Mum is waiting for me. I’m not surprised. I would have been surprised if she hadn’t been.
“What have you done?” she asks tremulously. I’ve never seen her like this. I’ve never seen her so afraid. “Roarke, what did you do?”
I stop several paces from her. I stand tall, holding my ground and to my conviction.
“I married the woman I love.”
Mum shakes her head. “You did more than that. So much more.”
“What’s happened?” Da calls, appearing in a rush from inside the house.
“Tell him then,” Mum says, gesturing to Da. “Tell him what you’ve done.”
“I marr—“
“Not that!” she cries. Da blinks in surprise, but I’m unfazed. I don’t blame her for being angry. “You tell him and I what else you did.”
I look to the ground, to the earth, and I sigh. “I did what I had to do.”
“What is he talking about?” Da asks.
“He’s married her.”
“Anna? You married her?”
“Yes,” I reply, looking up at them again. Da actually looks pleased. Mum looks ready to spit fire.
“Well, that’s… that’s good, son. I mean, you know that you can’t—“
“Tell him what else,” Mum demands.
I meet her eyes hard. “I bound myself to her,” I say without apology.
“You what?” Da demands, taking a step toward me.
I don’t look away from Mum.
“And I bound her to the Earth.”
Her hand goes to her mouth. She shakes her head, unbelieving. She knew, of course she already knew, but she still can’t believe it.
“Why would you do such a thing?” she whispers brokenly.
“Because I love her.”
She chokes on a sob as she closes her eyes, unable to look at me.
“Ro,” Da says quietly, stunned, “do you know what this means?”
I nod to him, my hands going clammy. “I do. It means that when they take her, I’ll go with her. Wherever that is.”
“You shouldn’t love someone so much,” Mum moans. “It’s dangerous. It’s foolish. So foolish.”
“You’d have done the same for me.”
She shakes her head, opening her eyes. They are infinitely sad. “That’s different. That’s a mother’s love for her child.”
“You’d have done the same for Da.”
She takes in a shaky breath through her nose then lets it burst out from her mouth. She’s doing everything she can not to cry. The resolve I see there in her eyes tells me where I got my own.
“Where is she now?” Da asks, wrapping his arm around Mum’s shoulders, pulling her to his side.
“With her kinsman. We were married in the cave but she went out without me. The Sylph and the Undines, they knew immediately. I wasn’t sure the Ila would accept her, but I believe he did. I think that’s why they tried to k
ill her. Hopefully because they know they can’t have her.”
“Tried to kill her? What’s happened to her?”
“A frozen wind circled her. I found her freezing in the center of the storm, but her people did as well. They took her away from me.”
“But she was alive when they took her?”
I look at down at my hands, nodding. “Yes, she’s alive. For now. But the Ila… in the spot where she lay, it was warm. I think it pulled her strength from her. Her life. Maybe took it into itself.”
“You think it means for her to die?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“You’ve made a lot of large decisions not knowing a thing,” Mum spits out.
I nod in agreement. “I have, yes.”
“Alright,” Da says, putting up his hand to stop us before we start. “What do we do? There has to be something we can do.”
“It’s already done,” Mum tells him, but I feel her eyes on me. “Now we wait. We wait and we see.”
***
That afternoon a horse rides into the village carrying a tall man with light hair and unflinching eyes. He’s one of them, a member of the Court of Kilmarnock, and my temper flares at the sight of him here.
“I believe you’re lost,” I call out to him, stepping in front of his horse.
He pulls up on the reigns, stopping the large, dark animal. He looks at me appraisingly.
“No,” he says slowly, a slight lift to his lips. “I believe I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.”
“I doubt that.”
“And I thought your people were supposed to be hospitable.”
“These are dark times.”
“That they are,” he agrees heartily.
“Why are you here? Did the King send you? Or the pampered Prince?”
“No one has sent me.”
“I didn’t hurt her,” I say, advancing on him. “If that’s what they’re saying, they’re insane. I’d never hurt, Anna. I tried to save her.”
“I’m sure that’s exactly what they’re saying,” he agrees matter of fact. “But I haven’t heard it and I wouldn’t believe it.”
I scowl at him, confused. “Who are you?”
“If I come down from my horse and introduce myself are you going to unsheathe that knife at your boot or will we be civil?”