It all seemed so normal and yet nothing around her was. She had a man living in her house who drove her crazy without doing a thing. All he had to do was look at her from across the room and she felt as though she’d come out of her skin. She was sure that everyone in the room could see it. Given her conversation with Doris this morning, she knew at least one person had.
She thought of all that had gone on this past year. Burying her father had been the worst. She wasn’t sure she’d recovered from that. But really, how do you recover from the loss of a parent. Her father may not be walking the paths between the house and the barn or the bunkhouse, but he was all around her. Most days she wondered what he would think of the job she was doing at the Duggan Stock Company. Would he be proud?
“You look too serious for such a beautiful night.”
Carly turned around and found Jesse standing a few yards away from her on the porch. “I didn’t hear you come outside.”
“I didn’t. I was out in the pasture and then in the barn checking on feed containers. When I came back, I heard movement on the porch so I came around from the side to investigate.”
She felt her insides hum. Some women wanted roses. Some wanted nights of dancing and sipping champagne with a handsome man. This cowboy checks on her stock as if they’re his own and it melts her heart. There was something truly wrong with her.
“Thank you for that,” she said.
He walked over to her and stopped at the rail leading down the steps. “It’s nice tonight. Hardly any bugs.”
She chuckled. “I noticed. It’s cooler than it’s been.”
“I like it that way. When the night is cool, I sometimes like to sleep out under the stars. There’s nothing like a Wyoming sky at night.”
She glanced up at the sky. The moon was just a tiny sliver surrounded by millions of brilliant stars. In a few days there’d be a new moon. It brought back a bittersweet memory she hadn’t thought of in a long time.
“When I was little, my mother and I would sit on the porch at night when I couldn't sleep. My father didn’t like me getting out of bed after my bedtime. He was all about being regimented and running a tight ship. But my mom would smuggle me out of bed when she heard me playing in my bed instead of sleeping. Who knows, maybe she secretly wanted me to just be awake and keep her company. We’d come out here to the front porch like this so my dad wouldn’t see us and just sit and watch the stars. My mom was a big science fiction buff. She loved all those sci-fi movies and books. She’d tell me how much she’d love to be an astronaut and fly to a different planet. After she died I wondered if when I looked up at the sky, she was up there on one of those stars smiling down at me. And then I felt as alone as she did.”
“Your dad worked long hours like you?”
“More actually, if you can believe it. His job was all day, every day, and he loved it. My mom was lonely. As young as I was, I could tell. But they did love each other. And the times that I remember most with both of them was when we all went riding out on the property somewhere. Dad was still working, checking on the bulls or fencing, but we just had fun together. And then there were the times we went to a rodeo. I loved the excitement. I was never bored. Just like I was never bored here on the ranch. I mean, look at this? This was my playground. How can it get any better? But my mother was different.”
“How so?”
“She grew up a rancher’s daughter. She loved being on the ranch and I even think she even expected the loneliness. But I think she thought she’d have a big family to fill that void.”
“I wonder why your parents didn’t have a bigger family. You could certainly fill this house with enough kids to run a school.”
Carly chuckled. “My mother had a hysterectomy a year after I was born. That’s where the cancer started.”
“Oh, that must have been rough on your mom.”
“It was, but I never suspected anything until just before she died. The house was different when I was younger. My grandparents were still alive and of course, my mom. It feels strange with just me and Doris now. In fact, after seeing that big shopping Doris did before we left for the rodeo, I’m thinking she likes having you stay in the house. She tries to dote on me but…”
Carly sighed and looked up at the stars.
“She’s like family, isn’t she?”
“Yes. I know she could have left years ago. She was supposed to when I grew up. I didn’t know that until a few years ago. My father hired her on as a nanny for me after my mother died. When my mom was still alive, and when Doris first came here, we had a housekeeper who came in every day to clean. But then I grew up and didn’t need a nanny anymore and Doris just stayed. She’s the only family I have left.”
“What about Colin? He’s been here on the ranch since you were little.”
“True.” She chuckled. “He’s like an old uncle that sometimes let me do things my parents wouldn’t let me do. It’s been rough since my father died. He’s known me ever since I had training wheels on my first bike. He was the one who took them off so I could take a test ride without them, much to my mother’s dismay. She thought for sure I’d kill myself. I think that because I was an only child, they were a bit overprotective about some things and that spilled over to the way the ranch hands see me.”
“They respect you as the head of the ranch. They take your lead.”
“Do they? I wonder sometimes if the ranch runs because my father kept it like a well-oiled machine for so many years or if they’re really looking at me as the head of the Duggan Stock Company. Sometimes I wonder if that’s the reason this is happening now instead of on my father’s watch. I doubt anyone would have tried this if he were still alive.”
“You don’t know that for sure. This rodeo circuit is tight.”
“I know.”
“Do you know that my family started the WRC over a hundred years ago?”
“Really? Is that true?”
Jesse sat down on the step next to her. “My great, great grandfather was one of the cowboys who started the circuit.”
“I knew your father was on the board. But I didn’t realize generations of Knights were a part of the WRC. So that means you have a vested interest in making sure there are no problems that would taint its name?”
“Something like that. I know a lot of people don’t realize that, given my parent’s ranch is nothing to look at compared to some of the stock companies that work with the rodeo. But the family is still involved and we’ve always had a bit of pride for how the WRC got started. Michael manages the small ranch my parents owned.”
“Is your mom still there?”
“Yes. When Michael got married some years ago, he purchased a good spread next to my parent’s property. It’s pretty land up near Billings. Gordon Matthews bought a spread on the other side of my parent’s ranch. That’s how he knows my family so well. He’s a neighbor.”
“I didn’t realize that either.”
“If you had, would you have let me on your property that first day?”
She opened her mouth intending to say yes, but that wouldn’t be honest. “I probably would have been more wary of you being here than I was.”
The deep chuckle that rumbled in his chest sounded pleasing “I like that you’re honest.”
“So your family started the circuit, but then what?”
“What do you mean?”
“Your dad was part of the rodeo, just like you and your brother Michael. Was he a bull rider, too?”
“In the day, yes. He stopped when he injured himself. My uncle went PBR like Michael, and competed nationally. My dad fell in love and married my mom.”
Her heart melted. “That’s really sweet. But there are a lot of married people competing on the rodeo circuit.”
“He competed early on. But then Michael was born, followed by me and then Sean. Three young toddlers under four was more than my mom could handle on her own so dad quit. He missed the rodeo but said he would have missed all the moments we had t
ogether as a family more.”
“And you? What made you quit the rodeo?”
“I’m not a perfect man, Carly. I know none of us are but…”
“What?”
“I loved being a bull rider. I wouldn’t trade those years. I made a lot of friends and I made some money. But I was looking at my brothers and seeing that there was something in their lives that I didn’t have. And it hit me that I wasn’t going to get it unless I made some changes in my life.”
“And did you? Did the military give you that?”
He looked out onto the ranch and smiled. “For a while. Being a marine made me focus. It was a different kind of focus than riding bulls. But then I became an MP and that type of regiment was different. Crimes are committed everywhere, even in the military, sad as it is. I liked pulling things apart and getting to the core of an incident, bringing someone to justice if that be the case.”
“So I’m definitely in good hands with you.”
He glanced at her. Even though it was dark outside, she saw the contours of his face change and his lips stretch wide into a smile. “I’d like to think so.”
He held her gaze for a long time. She focused on the little light that shown in the corner of his eye, making it glisten like the stars, and wondered where that light was coming from. It didn’t matter. She liked looking at Jesse Knight. She liked being close to him. She didn’t feel alone, which was ridiculous because she wasn’t alone on the ranch. At any given time, the ranch was crawling with people.
But in the short time that they’d been together, Jesse had filled something inside her that had been missing for too long. And she realized as her heart started beating faster and her fingers itched to reach up and touch his face, that maybe she’d never had it at all.
“Why didn’t you stay in the military? If you loved it so much, I mean,” she asked.
“The void wasn’t filled. I was still searching. For what I don’t know.”
She drew in a slow breath and then let it out slowly. “Do we ever know?”
“I hope so. I think some people do. I envied my brothers for knowing.”
A thought occurred to her that shouldn’t have made her feel sad, but did. “So coming here is just a stop on the road to finding something that fills that void.”
Jesse reached up and touched her cheek. Carly melted into his touch and felt herself floating. “I may have found it.”
She couldn’t see his face but Carly felt the heat from his body. The cooler night air made it easier for her to feel him move closer. She wanted Jesse to kiss her. She’d thought about it many times since he’d dropped his boots on her ranch a week ago. How could she feel so much pull toward a man she’d only just met?
And then his lips met hers with a passion that exploded inside her and set her on fire. Carly wasn’t a young girl at twenty-eight. Nor was she naïve about men. But she’d never felt so much so quickly for any man before.
Reaching up with her hand, she gripped his shoulder and fell against him, reveling in the warmth of his embrace and wanting him to be close. Closer. He made no move to part from their kiss and she was glad. She could spend the entire evening like this and still want more of him.
She felt the rise and fall of Jesse’s chest with every caress of his hand against her back. Then his tongue teased her lips, wanting entrance, wanting more of her. And she was glad to give it.
A round of thunderous laughing jolted her back to reality. The men in the bunkhouse were far enough away that they couldn’t see her kissing Jesse on the porch. But their presence was an intrusion of the intimacy between them all the same.
“Please don’t tell me I shouldn’t have done that,” Jesse said.
She smiled up at him and touched his cheek, feeling the light stubble of hair on his chin. “Now why would I do that?”
He chuckled low. “I can’t think of a single valid reason.”
He kissed her again. This time slowly and with more passion. It wasn’t the time for romance. But oh, it felt so right.
“You are one amazing woman, Carly Duggan,” he said, holding her close and whispering against her ear.
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
They spent the next hour holding each other on the porch, kissing and looking up at the stars. Carly spotted a shooting star and made a wish that time could stand still. She didn’t want to live in danger, but she didn’t want Jesse to leave either. And he would eventually. There’d be no reason for him to stay once they discovered who was responsible for poisoning her bulls and sending her death threats.
But for tonight, all of that was as distant as the stars above them. Tonight, she was happy to just be in Jesse’s arms.
#
Chapter Nine
Two nights of sneaking alone time with Carly hadn’t been enough for Jesse. Everything about the two of them was a complete surprise.
He loved holding her. He loved kissing her even more. And he wanted so much more, but that would have to wait. He couldn’t allow his feelings for Carly to get in the way of doing what he needed to do to protect her. If he let his guard down too far, it would be easy for someone else to move in.
Stoney and Melanie had arrived to drive with the bulls up to Michael’s ranch in Montana. The young bulls would only stay for a few hours. They’d let the bulls graze and get their fill of water before loading them up in the trailer and bringing them back. Before bulls could compete on the circuit, they needed to become comfortable with traveling in the trailer and being in a different environment. If they couldn’t handle it, they couldn’t compete.
“Stoney and Melanie are getting ready to take the bulls on a trailer ride up to Billings. Michael will meet us there. We’ll do it again like we did for the rodeo,” Jesse said as he walked into the kitchen and found Carly standing by the kitchen island, filling her bag with snacks and bottled water to take on the trip.
She grabbed the jar of hand cream from the counter and paused as she started to put it in her bag. Putting the hand cream back down on the counter, she reached inside the bag and pulled out an identical jar of hand cream.
“Huh. I must have already put one in my bag.” She dropped the jar back inside the bag and grabbed the jar that was on the counter. After she opened it, she performed her usual ritual of slathering her hands and wrists.
“I swear you do that just to let me know where you are on this ranch,” he said. “I smell that in the house and I come running.”
“Are you implying I smell, Mr. Knight?” she said, taking a little more of the cream from the jar and smoothing it on her lower arm.
“It’s a nice fragrance. I always know when you’ve been in the room because the scent lingers.”
He’d come to love the smell of her. It was nothing heavy or filled with perfume. It was just there, a part of her, as if she was part of the fresh air after a rain.
“It’s just eucalyptus and spearmint.”
He watched her as she blended the cream into her skin, gently smoothing it over her fingers and palms and then the back of her hands, rubbing the excess up her arms.
“Does this entertain you?” she asked, watching his face.
Jesse felt the smile pull at his lips. A smile that betrayed the more sensual thoughts that were flowing through his mind. “More than you know.”
She chuckled softly. “You men are all alike.”
Her words sobered him. “You men? How many men have watched you put cream on your hands like this?”
Her eyebrows slid up her forehead just a bit. “Jealous?”
“Yes,” he said quickly. “Does that bother you that I’d rather be the only man who’s watched this little ritual of yours?”
“It intrigues me.”
“Intrigues you. How?”
She crinkled her nose as she looked at him. “Don’t you mean why?”
“I know why.”
“Do you mind telling me…” Her face changed suddenly, and she glanced down at her hands.
/>
“What’s wrong?”
Carly said nothing for a few seconds. “Ah, nothing.”
“I don’t believe you. Tell me.”
Jesse advanced toward Carly, suddenly forgetting his enjoyment over her bathing in hand cream. He was about to take her hands in his, but she pulled away and screwed the cap back on the jar. Then she set it on the center of the island. “It’s nothing. I just…”
“What?”
“My hands feel like they’re tingling. I’ve never had that feeling before” She picked up the jar of lotion and glanced at the back of it as if searching for ingredients. “There must be a lot of eucalyptus and spearmint in this jar.”
He turned her around and placed his hands on her cheeks. After taking a brief moment to look down into her eyes, he kissed her moist lips. He loved kissing her. He loved the way she made a soft little noise in her throat when she was turned on and wanted more. He loved the way she melted into him, fitting against him like hand and glove.
But then she pulled away and took a deep gasp of air.
“What? Too much?”
“No. No, of course not.”
He touched her arm but she wrenched it away, placing her hand over her chest.
Confused, he said, “This isn’t quite the reaction I thought I’d get from a kiss.”
“I’m sorry.” Carly took a step back and touched her forehead.
“Don’t be. I want to know what’s wrong.”
“I don’t know. I…I don’t feel good, Jesse.” She placed her hand on her forehead again. His gaze followed her movement and he saw that beads of sweat bubbled up on her cheeks and forehead right before his eyes.
“Talk to me.”
“I…” She took a deep breath and placed her hand on her chest. “I…don’t feel very good. My chest.”
Her skin turned ashen and her eyes rolled back in her head.
“Carly? Carly!”
Her Knight, Her Protector: a western romance (Rodeo Knights Book 1) Page 6