by Erin Zarro
And then the hellhounds were on me, fighting each other for a taste. Snarls and barks and bites filled the night air. I focused on one thing. Not freaking out.
"Get him into the palace!" I cried. "Now, while they're distracted!"
"Come," the Master said to Rick, picking up his rope. "We must hurry."
"I'm not leaving without Leliel," Rick said. So he chose to be stubborn? Crap. "She's – something's happening to her. I have to help."
"You have no corporeal form," the Master said. "Anything you try to do will fail."
Rick's expression became one of determination. "I will try to help her. Somehow. Please, point me in her direction."
"Please, Rick, don't do this." I dodged a set of hellhound fangs headed straight for my face. "You need to get into the palace, okay? That is the goal here. It's why I did this. To distract" – I dodged another bite – "them. Get off of me!" I screamed as one of the hellhounds jumped on me, its breath rancid with blood. My blood.
"I can't leave you here," Rick said. "I'd never forgive myself if – if something happened to you."
I sidestepped, narrowly escaping from a hellhound jumping on me. "It's already happening. They're...um...enjoying this. So go. Get out of here."
"Is there anything I can do?" Rick asked the Master.
"No," I said. I was bloody all over, and the bites and scratches throbbed. "Don't do this. Don't you dare die! You're supposed to live a happy life! Not get killed trying to save me!"
"I can smell the blood on you," Rick said. He came closer. "I can feel your pain as if it were my own. I wanna to take it away."
"I can take care of myself," I said. As soon as the feeding frenzy was done, I'd be fine. Assuming I didn't die first.
"Let me take care of you, Leliel," Rick said. "You're not gonna die here. I won't allow it."
I swayed on my feet, dizzy from blood loss.
Everything felt so far away....
#
"Leliel."
"She's unconscious."
"Leliel, come back to me, baby. Come back."
A mournful meow.
"Give her some time. She's had quite the shock to her system."
Darkness...surrounding me...
Voices. Who was talking? And where was I?
I struggled to open my eyes. When I did, I found myself in a large room, the Master and Rick hovering over me. Rick was one step away from invisibility. I had to talk to His Highness. I had to –
"Leliel?" Rick said softly. "It's okay. Take your time."
We didn't have time.
I struggled to sit up. "We need to see His Highness. Now."
The Master gave me an incredulous look. "We are in the palace. You are in no condition to be visiting with His Highness. And do not overexert yourself. Your body is healing."
I looked around me. I'd never been in the palace before, but I'd heard about its elaborate rooms. I noticed the golden glow of a fire in a stone fireplace and beautiful velvet drapes over large windows. The room was warm, and smelled of smoke. My bed was huge, big enough for at least four people. Silk sheets. Canopy overhead. Even gauzy white curtains for privacy. A nightstand stood to my right, a beautiful carved wooden thing that took my breath away.
It was exactly as I'd imagined it. Maybe even more.
But back to business. "I have to see him now, Master." Speaking of saving souls, I didn't see Rick anywhere. "Um...where's Rick?"
"I'm here," Rick said.
Oh, crap.
He was just a disembodied voice now. Fully incorporeal.
I put my head in my hands.
This was it.
He was fully a Reanimate.
I looked around wildly, but I knew it was pointless. "Um..."
"Leliel," Rick said.
"I'm...okay," I said. "But not okay with you being incorporeal. Just for the record."
I wanted to cry, kick the wall in, put my head in a blender.
I'd hoped for more time.
"I'm very mad at you right now. Just for the record," Rick said. There was pain in his voice, so thick I could almost feel it.
Not surprising at all. I was the reason he was in this horrific state and I was really, really sorry.
But it was too late.
I tipped my head up and extended my arms, even though it hurt like hell. "Go ahead. Take your best shot."
"I don't even wanna talk to you," Rick snapped. "I'm completely unable to feel a thing, including my own body. I can't even drink myself into oblivion because I can't hold a beer can. I can't do...anything. Including kiss you."
Did that little diatribe require a response?
"But it's sick," Rick continued. "I want to kiss the woman who did this to me. Who would wanna do that?"
The hellcat let out a whine.
A cold ball of dread settled in my stomach. Something was wrong with him. "Rick, just let me – "
"No! I won't listen to your excuses and apologies! I need to leave here. I need to never see you again!"
"I would suggest not doing that," the Master said gently. "Leliel may still be able to fix you."
"Right, fix me because I'm freaking broken, right? Fine. Wonderful. Assuming she doesn't screw it up again."
What the hell was wrong with him? I didn't know him that well, but he didn't seem like the type to be this cruel.
I needed to calm him down. I needed to think, damn it.
I got out of bed and began pacing, ignoring the pain in my ankle. "Rick, please, just listen to me. I need to remind you of something."
"What are you doing, Reaper Girl?" the Master asked.
Confused? Hell, I was. "Hang on. It'll be clear once I say what I need to say." I took a deep breath, let it out. Tried to stop shaking. I'd believed that Rick and I have gotten past the fact that I screwed up. And I was going to try to make peace with it. And now it seemed everything was shot to hell. Literally.
"Not listening," Rick snapped.
"Okay, fine. But come over here. Closer." I hoped this would work.
"Why?" The acid in his voice nearly burned me.
"I just think we need to be closer to each other. So we can...communicate better." He wasn't going to go for this. I knew it. I was sure the Master thought I'd flipped out. Maybe I had. It had been a crazy ride so far.
"Fine. I suppose that won't hurt."
The air shifted, and I somehow felt how close he was to me. I didn't understand why. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was talking to him. Helping him out of this personality change.
"I could almost touch you," Rick murmured. "But I can't and it's killing me."
That sounded like the old Rick.
"I'm sorry," I said, as a test.
"I know." Rick sighed. "That's what makes this so damn difficult. It's easier to hate you than to deal with the grief, you know?"
"Absolutely. Can you do me a favor?"
"Sure, I guess," Rick said. I could imagine him shrugging, looking confused. And kind of cute. I pushed those thoughts away.
"Now please get as far away from me as possible," I said. "But not so far we can't talk."
"You are testing a hypothesis," the Master said. "You are trying to see if his personality changes based on proximity."
Whoa, the man was practically clairvoyant. "That is correct. Do you think that's it? His proximity to me?"
"Anything is possible down here," the Master said. "Very smart, Reaper Girl."
I didn't feel Rick near me. "Okay, Rick, what's up?"
"What do you mean 'what's up?' I'm stuck like this forever – "
"But I'm so sorry," I said, winking at the Master. "I plead for your forgiveness."
"Hell, no," Rick said. I could picture him frowning. "Never. And quit apologizing."
"So he's definitely different when we're not close," I murmured, turning that over in my head. "What makes it even possible?"
The Master glanced at me. "You have not thought of it yet?"
"Little off my game here," I mut
tered. "I give up. What haven't I figured out yet?"
"You did not even consider what it could be," the Master said indignantly. "But seeing as we are running short on time, I will tell you. You are bonding to each other."
My heart shriveled up and died. Bonding was nasty business, especially for someone like me who didn't feel. Didn't want. Didn't love.
"No, that's ridiculous," I said, backing away from him.
"Leliel, do you remember the biggest indicator of bonding? Reach back, way back, in that head of yours. It will come."
And just like that, it was there.
I hadn't thought about it in years.
"Bonded mates balance each other," I said softly, my heart a wild thing in my chest. "They can calm each other in times of crisis. They can temper each other's moods. Apart, because their influence isn't there, they revert back to how they were before."
"That is correct," the Master said.
All signs pointed to bonding, but I refused to believe it. "Could it be him becoming a Reanimate? That screws with peoples' personalities."
"But it would not change based on proximity. You know the truth."
"What are you saying?" Rick asked. "That we're..."
"Bonding," I said, trying to keep my voice level. "It isn't something I had any control over, trust me."
The air shifted again, and I felt Rick's presence beside me. "What can I do about this?"
"Absolutely nothing. Except speak with His Highness," the Master said.
"We'll figure something out, okay?" I reached over to take his hand, forgetting he was incorporeal, but something weird happened. A zap like being electrocuted went through my body, and Rick's body flared corporeal – for like, two seconds. Holy crap! "Did you see that?"
"Most interesting." The Master rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I wonder what that means. We should probably go. The sooner we see His Highness, the better, I believe."
Dizziness made me stumble a bit. "I will get there even if I have to crawl." The world did another slow rotation.
"That will not be necessary," the Master said, gently lifting me up and holding me steady on my feet. "The last thing I want is you crawling to your doom."
#
The throne room was incredible. Gold light fixtures. Brocade drapes shot with gold. A few dozen chandeliers providing soft golden light. Rugs with beautiful patterns and a throne to die for. Really. It was...wait for it...black marble edged with gold. You'd think it wouldn't work together, but oddly enough, it did. And it must have had sparkles in the marble, because they glinted in the light like diamonds. Hellfire. Maybe they were diamonds.
It was also very, very cold.
The throne was currently unoccupied.
"Where the hell is he?" I asked the Master. "Is he hiding?"
The Master chuckled. "He is on his way, I assure you."
"Uh huh," I said. "Guess I'll just twiddle my thumbs."
Footsteps stopped me cold. His Highness walked toward us – or, rather, his throne. His blond hair hung straight down to his hips. He wore a red tunic and matching red pants. A circlet of rubies and diamonds sat upon his head.
But his eyes. I felt as if I would get sucked into darkness if I looked into his eyes for too long.
I staggered back, nearly falling, but the Master steadied me. "Everything will be all right."
My heart beat quadruple time and my mouth went dry. I'd always been afraid of His Highness, but today, hellfire, I was petrified.
I almost wished the ground would open up and suck me out of here. Anything not to look into those eyes and not to feel his wrath.
As if on cue, my head pounded, almost like a second heartbeat.
His Highness sat upon his throne and glanced at the Master. "Greetings, old friend. To what do I
owe the honor of your visit?"
The Master bowed, and...stayed bowed. "Your Highness, Lord and Prince of the Underworld, I present to you Leliel of the Grim Reapers. She has occasion to speak unto you this evening. May she approach?"
All too formal, all too scary.
His Highness arched one eyebrow. Apparently he finally realized I was here. Way to make a girl feel special. "She may. Although I must warn you both, I am in a bit of a mood today."
Fantastic. I stepped forward and curtsied. "Your Highness, I must speak with you regarding my...um, this person who is...uh..." Talk about fumbling. Just spit it out, Reaper Girl! "Rick Ashton died recently. Or, at least I believed that to be the case."
"Do continue," His Highness said without feeling.
My insides twisted. If he didn't care...that didn't bode well for Rick.
"I – uh – went to reap his soul and uh...he was actually alive..."
His Highness leaned forward, his death-gaze searing through me. It actually hurt. "Tell me, is that Reanimate over there the one whose soul you stole?"
I started to protest, a reflex, but then I realized... "Um...yes. But totally by accident."
His Highness nodded. "He is human, correct?"
My heart skipped a beat. I had to fix this. Had to. "Yes, Your Highness."
"It appears he has fully transitioned. I'm sure you're aware of what cannot happen after that."
"What cannot happen?" Rick asked. It sounded like he was right behind me.
His Highness frowned. "You shall speak unto me with respect, Reanimate."
"Sorry, um, Your Highness?" Rick said.
"Once one transitions fully to a Reanimate, it cannot be undone." A fiery glance my way. "As you well know, Reaper Girl."
Hellfire. "Yes, Your Highness, but – "
"I'm gonna be trapped like this...forever?" Rick asked. I could feel his anxiety like needle-toothed butterflies gnawing on my intestines.
"Unfortunately, yes," His Highness said. "You are dismissed."
"But, wait." I curtsied again for good measure. "Your Highness, I made a mistake. I've ruined his life...and unlife. There has to be a way to restore him. A loophole? Please," I pleaded. "I can't live with the guilt any longer."
"She means well," Rick said. "I'm still pretty mad at her, but it's clear she made a mistake."
I wished I could look into his eyes. "Thank you, Rick. I appreciate that."
His Highness glanced from me to Rick and back again. "I have heard of one loophole. Master of Reapers, do you recall if one could transfer a soul back to its original owner?"
The Master's eyes narrowed. I held my breath. There had to be a way. "Yes, I believe so. But that requires a great sacrifice."
"I'll do it," I said. "I don't care what. I will do it."
"It requires," His Highness said, "that you – and your immortal soul – take his place as a Reanimate."
Anything but that.
My heart did a slow descent to my feet.
I was so, so screwed.
Either I let Rick stay like that forever, or I take his place.
I knew what the right thing to do was.
But, damn.
"I'll still do it," I said through clenched teeth. "Hells, it's gonna suck, but I'll do it." I let out a breath, and prepared to become incorporeal. Well, at least I could spy on people. Walk around naked. Walk through buildings and fences and rain.
No such thing as bad hair days. Or makeup.
But...no. I had to find a way to live with this. I had to.
"Are you sure, Reaper Girl? I can't undo this once it's done." His Highness regarded me with pity. "I can do this for you, since you have given us three hundred years of service."
I nodded. "Yes, Your Highness, I'm positive. And I thank you for your kindness."
"That would not be a kindness," Rick said. "It would be hell." The air shifted slightly, and goosebumps raised on my arms. "Leliel doesn't deserve this fate. She screwed up, I get that. But to become like me? No. Your Highness, I beg of you, don't do this to her. I'd rather stay as I am than watch her suffer forever."
"What are you doing?" I hissed. "I'm trying to fix you. And you're about to mess it up!"
"God, I wish I could grab you and shake you right now, Leliel," Rick practically growled. "So let's pretend I just did that, okay? Listen to me." The air shifted again. "My heart races when I'm near you. I have an overwhelming desire to hold you. Comfort you." I could almost feel him smiling. "I'm in love with you, Leliel. I've loved you since you kissed me on the highway. And that's why I can't let you sacrifice yourself." His voice softened. "I'm sorry." For one second, his hand flashed corporeal as it touched mine, then disappeared.
I wanted to die.
"So what are we going to do, then?" His Highness asked. "Seems like quite the predicament."
I just stood there like a moron. "You...you love me?"
"Yes," Rick said. "So much that I can't let you do this to yourself."
"You can't possibly love me," I protested. "You hardly know me!" Naturally, the thing ping-ponging through my brain was this: did I love him, too? Or was this some freaky pity thing that would disappear once we resolved this? Or hells, part of this bonding thing?
Which was an interesting situation.
"Your Highness," I said, curtsying for the third time. My knees were starting to ache. "There's something else. We've begun to bond."
His Highness frowned. "Have you consummated the bond?"
All eyes were on me. Even Rick's. I could feel them. "No, we haven't."
His Highness spread his hands. "Then there's nothing I can do. The partially-formed bond will dissolve in time. No harm, no foul."
My heart sank again. Any lower and it'd be in the Torture Pits.
"That sucks," Rick said. "But please, let me finish. Leliel, I do know you." Damn, I wished I could see him, look into his eyes. "I know that you're brave. Compassionate. Loyal. Determined. But most of all, you're a true warrior. How could I not love you, Leliel?"
"You just think you do. It's the bond," I said. Yes, I was delusional. "Besides, I'm about to get Reanimated. Doesn't make for a very good future." I refused to think about loving Rick and not being able to be with him. I refused – hellfire. Did I love him?
I thought I might. I liked him, that was for sure. And I'd been hell bent on saving him, and I was about to sacrifice myself so he could have his life back. Were those actions borne from guilt, or love?