She shook her head. Now he would surely think her a babe in the woods. But in her heart she now knew what she wanted. She wanted to please Tyler. Sex might become a chore for her once she learned what was required of her, but it was clear he liked it a lot. And if he took the time to show her what she must do, she’d do her darnedest to make him happy. After all, as he’d said, he was giving up other women for her.
Taking a deep breath, she slid her hand down the muscled ridges of his stomach, under the sheet. She found the elastic waist of his boxers. Trying not to think about what she would run into a few inches lower, she closed her eyes and pressed beneath the stretchy band. Her fingers met with a lush growth not unlike the curls across his chest…then a smooth, hot and very hard obstruction.
Julie froze. Now that she was here, where he wanted her…what was she supposed to do? This was where the scenes in the movie theater faded to black. She wished she’d hung around for one of those films the girls in her dorm had rented on a lark for a birthday party. They’d giggled and hooted all night long. She had left in embarrassment after her first glimpse of flesh.
“Julie?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you want to stop?”
She opened her eyes but couldn’t meet his. “No.”
He shifted his position slightly. “Just a suggestion then. How about wrapping those lovely fingers around me?”
She did, and she was amazed at how interestingly firm and right he felt. “What now?”
“Perhaps I should catch up,” he said. She wasn’t sure what he meant, until she felt his hand slide up the outside of her thigh and beneath her nightshirt. She liked the way it felt as he smoothed his palm over her hip and cupped her bottom.
“That’s nice,” she murmured.
“Promise to tell me when it stops being nice?”
“Yes,” she agreed.
She wanted to feel all of him now that she had him. It seemed a wonderful experiment, this touching business. She learning him; he learning her. She moved her hand languidly as far down him as she could, then up again and was delighted when the motion produced a low masculine moan. She watched his face contort with pleasure, and did it again. He arched his back, and a sonorous growl of bliss rose from his throat.
She experienced a little surge of power.
Julie was so intrigued by the shapes and textures of Tyler, and her newfound ability to control him, she hardly noticed when his hand moved from her bottom to the front of her hip then slipped, as smoothly as a swallow sailing between dusk and dawn, between her thighs. His palm came to rest warmly over her feminine mound. Only when the warmth down low in her body intensified to a pulsing need did she shift her attention from Tyler’s anatomy to her own.
Her eyes stayed open now, watching his, as he watched hers. She lay back on the pillow and he rose up over her, holding her in his steel-gray gaze. Gently, he touched the outer lips of her flesh. She felt something quiver inside. He pressed higher, a bare inch between delicate folds, and held his fingertips there, unmoving.
She blinked up at him, sensing he would plunge deeper if she let him, trusting he would stop if she asked. Her fingers tightened around him another notch, granting him permission.
His answering grin was both reassuring and wicked. As he began to stroke her, she felt her body responding, flowing with heat and moisture, the sensations achingly sweet. She moved her hand along him with more confidence and felt him swell again.
Julie struggled to find words to tell him that, however uncomfortable it might be for her, she wanted him inside her. She needed him there, because for as long as she could remember, she’d always felt empty and now she longed to be complete. Tyler, only Tyler had the power to make her whole. She ran her hand up then down him again and again, riding an agonizing wave as she let a pleading whimper escape her lips and the room around her swirled with prism flashes of color.
A roar not unlike that of an injured wild creature shattered her rapture. It took a moment for her to realize the sound had come from Tyler. Suddenly his warmth escaped her, her hand lay open beside her, and she sensed he was no longer tangled in the sheets with her.
With a sharp gasp, she blinked, trying to clear pink smoke from her eyes. He was standing beside the bed, pulling up his boxers. She lay sprawled in a cloud of bed-clothes, her T-shirt up above her waist.
“What’s wrong?” Her voice shook. Between her thighs, the tender flesh felt hot and swollen with anticipation. She tugged the shirt down self-consciously.
“I’m sorry.” Tyler was breathing so hard air rasped in and out of his lungs. “Damn, I’m so sorry.”
“Why? I don’t understand.” Tears stung the back of her eyelids.
He shook his head at her, and his eyes were darker, more determined than she’d ever seen them. “I promised we’d wait until after the wedding. But I want all of you, lady.”
“Oh.” His words initially thrilled her, but then she thought, if he wanted me as badly as I want him, he’d forget about schedules. He was pulling on his robe. She had to stop him. “Aren’t you coming back to bed?”
He laughed but there was no humor in the sound. “If I stay in that bed with you one more second, lady—” He broke off and raked a hand through tousled hair. “I just don’t think I can sleep here tonight.”
“Where are you going?” Her body felt energized, needful, ready for whatever mysteries Tyler had to offer.
“Not far. I’ll be out on the couch.”
“Please stay.” Her whispered words hovered in the air between them.
He hesitated, his eyes drifting toward the spot on the bed beside her that had been his moments before. “No. Believe me, I can’t. I wouldn’t be very gentle in the state I’m in.” He touched an imaginary hat brim with two fingers and gave her a reassuring smile. “Later, ma’am.”
That was when Julie knew she loved him.
She lay back against the pillows and smelled Tyler in them. She touched the place on the bed beside her, still warm from his body. “Julie Parker,” she whispered, “for better or worse, you are definitely short one heart.”
The next morning Julie woke with a start, threw on her bathrobe and hurried out to the living room to find the couch empty. Her heart sank. He’d already left for work.
“Good morning.”
She spun around, grinning. No, he hadn’t!
Tyler looked over his shoulder at her through the kitchen doorway. He was already dressed for work, done with breakfast and rinsing off his dishes in the sink. He gave her what passed as a smile.
“Looks like you didn’t get much sleep,” she commented, observing the shadows beneath his eyes as she joined him in the kitchen.
“You don’t look very well-rested yourself. It’s early, why don’t you go back to bed for a couple of hours.” He dried his hands and started toward her, then seemed to have second thoughts about the wisdom of putting her within reach.
“I’m used to rising early,” she said. “I’d rather stay up. Will you be working all day?” There was nothing she’d rather do than coax him back into bed with her, if not now then later.
Their eyes met across the countertop that separated them. Tyler’s expression shifted, intensified, then softened. She could almost read his thoughts. Almost. If she were to guess, she’d say he still wanted her, and that thought pleased her immensely.
“I was thinking of taking the afternoon off.” He watched her expression speculatively. “We could drive out to Lightfoot’s Plateau. You’d like it. The Spanish included it on an early map of the region. There’s an adobe structure Shane believes was built around 1795 by our Papago ancestors at the mouth of a cave. You can see for miles across the desert from there. It’s a beautiful spot.”
She smiled. “I’d love that.”
“Good.” He crossed quickly in front of her into the living room and gathered up a long canvas satchel that looked as if it might contain rolls of blueprints, and a leather jacket. “If you’re bored, call Kate. She’ll be up and looki
ng for trouble by eight o’clock. You’ll be doing my mother a favor if you get her out of the house for a few hours.”
“Maybe I will,” Julie agreed, delighted with the idea.
Tyler turned back to look at her one last time before heading out the door. “I like your hair that way. Does something for your face.”
Then he was gone, and the room seemed suddenly empty. The world seemed empty. “God help me,” she groaned collapsing onto the couch where his blanket and pillow still lay in a heap. She thrust her face into them and breathed in his scent.
She hadn’t meant to fall in love with the man. It was supposed to be a business arrangement. The only way love ever worked was when both participants loved equally. Tyler might be able to tolerate or even enjoy her in bed, but the man wasn’t falling in love with her.
Yes, he was momentarily intrigued by the idea of teaching her about sex. That would be a power trip for any male. But love—that was something very different. Once the excitement of being her bedroom guide wore off, he’d treat her differently.
She didn’t think she could bear to see that brilliant, intoxicating light in his eyes dim. How much wiser it would be to leave now, before he stopped being sweet to her. Leave now before the flirtation turned to boredom, then disdain. If she were the one to break off their engagement, she’d never need to feel the pain of his rejection.
But she’d promised. She’d told Tyler, his parents and Kate she would go through with the wedding. She’d allowed him to buy her a ring, and she’d allowed his grandmother to make a gift of a wedding gown. And Julie had never broken a promise in her life. So she would just have to stay long enough to make her word good.
How long after that could she risk staying with Tyler in Pueblo? A month? A week? Even less? Julie sighed.
And what about her baby? Could she possibly remain in Pueblo long enough for Tyler to give her a child? If it happened fast, maybe she’d be able to cling to enough pride to walk away from him and his powerful family. Yes, if she waited just until she knew she was pregnant…. Maybe she could go home with her child and the sweet memories of the brief time she’d spent with the most fascinating man she’d ever met. At least then she’d have kept her soul.
But how would Tyler feel about her desertion? He probably wouldn’t even miss her, she reasoned. He’d have what he originally wanted—a marriage on paper to satisfy his family. As far as she knew, nothing had been said about how long he must remain married. Devlin and Jasmine couldn’t very well blame him if his bride walked out on him when he’d done nothing wrong.
For the next hour Julie puttered around the condo, straightening up, cleaning out the refrigerator, wiping down the already spotless stove top and counters simply to fill time. Her heart felt heavy, knowing that this home she was making for Tyler wouldn’t be hers for long. Borrowed time, she thought. Precious minutes, that’s all we’ll ever have together.
At eight o’clock she telephoned the ranch, hoping Tyler had been right and she wouldn’t wake anyone. The maid’s voice answered brightly.
“Hello, Louisa,” Julie said, “is Kate up yet? This is Julie Parker.”
“Oh, yes, Miss Julie, she is right here with me in the kitchen. We are just having coffee. I get her for you.”
Kate’s voice almost immediately zinged through the line. “Good morning, my dear! I was hoping I’d hear from you before too many days. The arrangements are coming along beautifully. Are you excited?”
“Yes,” she replied and realized she actually was. The wedding still didn’t feel real to her, but she couldn’t help looking forward to that one spectacular day.
“I brought the gown home with me, it’s beautiful,” Kate said. “And you’re ready for the rehearsal and dinner this evening?”
Julie hesitated, all of her many doubts fluttering through her mind like birds before a storm. “Yes, I suppose I’m ready.”
“You don’t sound very happy. Is something wrong, my dear?”
Julie winced. Was she so transparent that even a stranger could read her thoughts? “It’s nothing. I’m just at loose ends this morning. Tyler is taking the afternoon off, but until then—”
“I know exactly what you need,” Kate exclaimed. “I’ll pick you up in twenty minutes and take you to a rather elite club, reserved for us ladies. There’s discreet space to work out a bit, and a lovely sauna and whirlpool. You can’t hole up in Tyler’s little shoebox of a condo all day. It will drive you crazy. Here you can exercise, meet some of the other women in Pueblo, relax. It’s more of a social club than a gymnasium. I think you’ll like it.”
Julie had never set foot in any sort of health club. She couldn’t have afforded membership. And she had her doubts about feeling comfortable in one. But for Kate, she’d try.
“The spa is my second home in Pueblo, particularly when Sterling has business that keeps him away. A light workout three days a week, and I can keep up with little Lisa and soon, I hope, my other great-grandchildren. Are you two planning on having children soon?”
“Very soon, I hope,” she answered truthfully. But how could she tell this lovely woman that when she did conceive, she would be taking her great-grandbaby away?
“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Kate said. “I’ll bet your and Tyler’s babies will be beautiful.”
“Yes,” Julie agreed. But she couldn’t help realize now how much Kate, Devlin and Jasmine would hate her when she walked out of their world with Tyler’s child.
Seven
“There it is,” Tyler said, pointing across the desert toward a low rise of red sandstone on the horizon. Every time he came here, he felt a special thrill. “Lightfoot’s Plateau.”
Julie stared at this place held sacred by his ancestors. “How majestic.”
“The Lightfoot family was guardian of the plateau for centuries. But when Natasha Lightfoot gave birth out of wedlock to my father and uncle, her parents refused to let her inherit the land and sold it to Brad Rowan’s grandparents. My cousin Isabelle is engaged to Brad, and he’s promised the property as her wedding present.”
“What a romantic idea,” Julie commented.
Tyler shrugged. “It’s the least Rowan can do. His family has neglected it for decades, but the cave inside the plateau has continued to be a spiritual retreat for local tribes.”
Julie squinted at the rising hill before them. “I don’t see a cave yet.”
“The adobe shelter protecting the entrance will come into view as we round the plateau.”
Tyler at last eased the truck to a stop, jumped down from the cab and was around to the passenger side before Julie could open her door. He wondered at the change in her mood since the night before. Rather than becoming more relaxed when she was around him, as he had hoped, she’d begun to draw back within herself again. Yet when he’d asked if anything was wrong, she simply shrugged him off.
During difficult times, he’d often sought out the ancient cave. Maybe being here would help her, too. “When I was a boy, I used to come out here and play with my friends.”
“Are you sure it’s all right for me to go inside? Seeing I’m not a Papago?” Julie asked.
He smiled at her. “You’re the perfect person to be here with me,” he said, taking her hand in his. “Legend has it the cave guides the heart. My ancestors came here as couples to pledge themselves to each other forever.”
To Tyler’s knowledge, only one member of his family in recent times had strayed from those sacred vows. His grandparents had separated during the troubled years following the tragic death of their child. At least emotion wouldn’t enter his own marriage. He and Julie each had a vested interest in this union. No hearts involved. Which was fortunate, because he could imagine himself caring deeply about a woman like Julie. If he let himself…and he wouldn’t.
Yet, as he took Julie’s hand and they climbed together over the rough terrain, following the steps of his ancestors, he couldn’t help feeling an inexplicable, almost mystical attraction to the woman at his side.
To hold her at his side and keep her there, safe—that was what he wanted. Julie had never in her life had a protector, and he wanted to be hers. If she’d open herself to him and learn to trust him, he’d do his level best to be there for her. Not because I love her, he silently told the spirits watching over them, but because I want to be a friend.
He lit the kerosene lantern he knew he’d find just inside the opening of the adobe structure sheltering the cave’s mouth. “Legends say when a man and woman stand together in the cave, bound by love, and swear fidelity—they will never part.” He held the lantern high and watched Julie walk around the walls of the cave, touching her fingertips to the ancient petroglyphs drawn in plant and animal stains or scraped into the surface with rough implements.
“This is a wonderful place,” she whispered. Her eyes were wide and glistening in the soft orange glow of the lamp. “You can feel the presence of generations here. It’s almost like being in an old church…so beautiful and private and peaceful.”
“Yes.” He could feel it, too.
But he also felt other things. It was as if he was being drawn deeper into a destiny he hadn’t foreseen. The sensation of oneness with Julie intensified. Was marriage more than a legal status and complication to his life?
Something inside Tyler fought the idea of fate seizing control of his life. Impulsively, he strode across the cavern, took Julie’s hands in his own and knelt on the cold, hard ground, pulling her down to her knees facing him.
“I swear by the spirits of my ancestors,” he intoned with mock solemnity, “to hold you, Julie Parker, as my one true wife. To always cherish—”
“No!” she screamed, glaring in horror at him. “Don’t do that!” Tears filled her pretty hazel eyes before spilling down her cheeks. Before he could reassure her that he was just joking, she yanked her hands out of his and leapt to her feet.
“What? I was just fooling around. You know, because of the magic this place is supposed to have.” He stood up, reached for her hand again, but she snapped it away from him. “They’re just old legends—like some cultures’ fairy tales.”
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