by Nikki Ashton
“Yes, Jesse worshipped her.” Bonnie looked sad, almost heart-broken, and something flashed across her eyes – a memory maybe.
“Do you think he’ll ever move on?” I asked, not daring to look at Bonnie’s face. “I mean, I know you found him with the woman from town, but he may decide he wants something more stable one day.”
“I don’t know,” she sighed. “All I know is my boy is still hung up on that girl and, while he’s finally let Addy in, I think it will be a long time coming before he lets a woman into his heart. I know he has other women, but I’m not sure he’s ready for anything more serious.”
I nodded my understanding at her unintentional words of warning and felt my hopes sink. It was exactly what I thought and so having any faith in him having feelings for me was hopeless. I’d been stupid to let myself fall for him in the first place, especially so soon after Dean, and so the sooner I got over my crush the better.
In the afternoon, Addy and I were outside feeding apples to a horse that had suddenly appeared in the paddock opposite the house. Bonnie informed me that Wyatt McKenzie, a neighbor – if you can call six miles away a neighbor – had dropped it off earlier while Addy and I had been in the office doing some children’s quizzes on the internet. It was a beautiful, lithe, chestnut mare and, according to Bonnie, it had the temper of the devil when anyone sat on its back. Jesse was going to take a few days off from the cattle to break it in for the owner. I couldn’t understand what the problem was, she was perfectly gentle as she took the half an apple from Addy’s outstretched palm.
“Hey, ladies.” Brandon came over and leaned against the fence with us. “You havin’ fun?”
“Hey, Uncle Brandon,” Addy cried excitedly. “Daddy is going to make her better so that she lets people ride her.”
“So I believe. Maybe he’ll let you ride her when she’s ready.”
Addy’s eyes widened. “You think so?”
“Well that’s up to your daddy, honey,” he laughed.
Addy sighed and turned back to the horse, resigned to the fact that she wouldn’t be riding her.
“I should have kept my mouth shut. She’ll be haranguing him until his ears bleed to let her ride it.” Brandon smiled at Addy and patted her head.
“She’s certainly insistent. So, what are you doing here, I thought you’d all be busy after last night?” I reached over to Addy and pulled gently on her waist. “Don’t lean too far over, sweetie. We don’t want you falling.”
“Okay,” she replied and pulled back slightly.
“I was out until four this mornin’ with one of the other guys, just scoutin’ around checking that there wasn’t major damage, or that we hadn’t missed any of the herd. You know it can be hard to count properly when they’re all shiftin’ around because they’re spooked.”
“It sounds like it was one hell of a night,” I sighed.
“Yep, sure was. But to be honest, Millie, talking about last night ain’t what I’m here for.” Brandon looked down at his foot that was propped on the bottom rail of the fence. “I was wonderin’ whether you fancied coming to Rowdy’s with me tonight.”
I took a step back in surprise. “Oh, erm, well I don’t know,” I blustered. “I…”
Brandon started to laugh. “Millie, it’s few drinks in a bar, I ain’t asking you to marry me, sweetheart.”
I looked up at his handsome face and straight white teeth that had definitely had work done on them, and thought, ‘why not?’ Jesse wasn’t interested and I couldn’t spend every single minute of my year here, solely on the ranch
“Okay, Brandon, that would be lovely, thank you.”
“That’s great,” he replied with a grin. “I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty, is that okay?”
I nodded. “Sounds good. See you then.”
Addy suddenly started to giggle.
“What’s tickled your fancy pants, little miss?” Brandon asked, giving Addy a playful poke in her side.
“Do you love Millie, Uncle Brandon?”
“Addy!” I exclaimed.
“But you’re going on a date. That means you’re going to be kissing and that means that you love one another.”
God, if only love was that simple. Based on the orgasm he gave me, I’d be engaged to Jesse if that was the case.
“A gentleman never kisses a girl on the first date,” Brandon replied to Addy as he slipped his Stetson on. “Remember that when a stinky boy takes you on a date, Addy.”
“I will,” she sighed.
“See you later, Millie.” Brandon winked at me and then walked away.
As Addy and I stayed with the horse for a little while longer, I couldn’t help but wish it was Jesse who had said those words.
Jesse
I’d been feeling like shit all mornin’; shiverin’ with cold but with sweat pourin’ off me. Dad had taken one look at me and sent me back to the bunk house to get some Tylenol. It was as I was swallowin’ it back with some water that Brandon swaggered in lookin’ as though he’d shit a rainbow from his ass and it had a pot of gold at the end of it.
“God,” he groaned. “You look rougher than a raccoon’s nut sack.”
“When have you seen a raccoon’s nut sack?” I asked, tryin’ to muster a smile.
“It’s a guess.”
He laughed loudly and gulped back some OJ, straight from the carton that one of the guys had left out of the refrigerator.
“What’s got you so happy anyway?” I asked, taking the carton from him and putting it away.
“Got me a date.”
“Yeah who with, and please don’t say Belinda Withers. She’s one nasty skank.”
Brandon had a thing for Belinda, well it was for her huge double E tits, but the fact that she spent a great deal of time at the doctor’s office gettin’ antibiotics for her pussy, meant that I gave him shit every time he thought about going there.
“No!” he cried. “It’s not Belinda. She may have the best tits in town, but I do not want my dick droppin’ off because I’ve caught something from her.”
“Good to hear. So, who is it?”
Brandon grinned wide and rested his hands on his hips and I swear he pushed his dick forwards, like a fucking strutting Silver Back Gorilla or something.
“Millie,” he announced. “I’ve got a date with Millie.”
My mouth went dry and a lump the size of Texas formed in my throat.
“Millie, Addy’s nanny?”
“Well how many other Millie’s do you know? Yeah, that Millie.”
“You ask her, or did she ask you?” I shoved my hands into the pockets of my Levi’s and leaned against the rough wooden table.
“I asked her, dickwad. As if I’d let a woman ask me out.”
“She seem into it?”
“What do you think?” he asked, smoothing his hair back before putting his hat back on. “What women isn’t into being seen on my arm?”
As Brandon looked at himself in the old mirror on the bunk house wall, I felt an urge to punch him straight on the nose. He was my best friend and in twenty years I had never felt an ounce of animosity to him; but in that moment I kind of hated him.
Millie
I ought to have been spending time on picking an outfit for my date with Brandon, most girls would spend hours brooding over it, but not me. I’d taken out the first thing that I’d laid my eyes on – a pair of skinny jeans and a black vest top with designer rips in it and a white underlay. I teamed it with a pair of black, stiletto heeled ankle boots, big hoop earrings, and an armful of silver bangles.
I hadn’t washed my hair, just fluffed it up after my shower, and had put on minimal make-up. I wanted this date to be with Jesse, because while my brain told me that I had to move on, my heart hadn’t quite caught up with it just yet. That was the trouble with love; it was selfish and didn’t give a shit about your heart.
As I looked at myself in the mirror, I knew that I looked good, but good in a ‘popping down to the local bar for a few beer
s’ good, not first date with a handsome cowboy good. But, that was because it wasn’t the right handsome cowboy. Taking some cash out of my purse and stuffing it into one of the jeans pockets, and my scarlet colored lipstick into another, I left my room and went down stairs.
“Wow.” Garratt grinned at me and wolf-whistled. “Who are you looking so sexy for?”
“I am not,” I scoffed, waving a dismissive hand at him. “I’m just off to Rowdy’s with Brandon.”
“Brandon?” Garratt asked, his eyes as icy as his tone was hard. “What the fuck, Millie?”
“Garratt, language!” Bonnie snapped, pointing at Addy who was curled on Ted’s lap, reading.
“You cannot go out with Brandon.” Garratt got up from his seat and stalked towards me. “Please, Millie.”
“Garratt, honey, please just drop it. If Millie wants to go out with Brandon then leave her be.”
Garratt’s jaw was clenched tight as he scrubbed a hand through his hair. I really had no idea what his problem was with Brandon, but Bonnie was staring at him wide-eyed, warning him to stop making a fuss.
“Well, I’m coming with you,” Garratt said, grabbing his wallet from the shelving behind him.
“Garratt!” Ted barked, looking up from Addy’s book. “Sit back down on the couch, now.”
“But, Dad…”
“Garratt, sit!”
Garratt looked from Ted to me and then flopped down on to the sofa.
“Ignore him, Millie.” Ted smiled at me. “You go and have a good time. You need a ride?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s fine, Brandon is going to pick me up.”
I heard Garratt growl but chose to ignore him. I checked my watch and it was almost seven-thirty. “I’ll go and wait on the porch,” I said.
“Enjoy yourself.” Bonnie gave me a tight smile that by no means met her eyes.
I smiled back and let myself out.
We walked into Rowdy’s with Brandon’s hand on the small of my back, and I had to be honest, it wasn’t totally unwelcome. We’d chatted animatedly on the fifteen minute trip into town, and Brandon had made me laugh talking about how nervous he’d been to ask me out tonight. He seemed so confident that I doubted it, but it made me feel a little easier and thought that tonight may actually be fun.
Rowdy’s had a long mahogany bar down one side, in front of which were round, tall tables with high stools, and to the right of that was a small open area that I assumed was for dancing, with a raised platform at one side with a microphone in the middle of it. Behind the bar were bottles of spirits on a long shelf and above that were dozens of pictures of football and basketball games.
“You’ll find me and Jesse up there somewhere,” Brandon said as he spotted me looking up at the photographs. “We played on our High School basketball team; Jesse was captain.”
“Really?” I said, genuinely interested. “Were you any good?”
Brandon waved his hand in a see-saw motion. “Ah so, so. We were good enough for High School, but we weren’t gettin’ any colleges bangin’ on our doors. That’s how Jesse hooked up with Melody; she was a cheerleader.”
I swallowed and forced a smile. “Oh okay,” I replied.
“Yeah, they really were the golden couple; captain of the basketball team and captain of the cheerleadin’ squad. It was kinda written in the stars.” Brandon looked down at the bar and sighed.
“Melody was a good friend of yours, too?” I asked, seeing sadness in his eyes.
“Not really, no.”
“Sorry, you just looked kind of sad.”
Brandon gave me a small smile. “Jesse is my best buddy and has been for twenty years, since our first day at school, and losin’ her has pretty much fucked him up. So, if I’m sad it’s for Jess. She was the love of his life, and I think always will be.”
Despite the vile taste of jealousy in my mouth, I found Brandon’s hand and gave it a squeeze. What he’d just said was another reason why I should forget Jesse, and concentrate on Brandon. He didn’t seem such a bad guy and I had no idea what Garratt’s problem was. Maybe I’d ask Brandon one day; perhaps if we had another date.
“Okay,” I said brightly, to change the atmosphere and to push Jesse from my mind. “What would you like to drink?”
Brandon looked at me totally horrified. “No way! You are not buyin’ me a drink.”
“Why?” I giggled. “I’m a modern woman, I can buy a man a drink if I want to.”
“Not a chance, sweetness,” he laughed, pulling his wallet from his back pocket. “Janelle, two beers over here when you’re ready,” he called to a tall blonde woman with the perkiest boobs I’d ever seen. “You do like beer?”
I nodded. “Yes, beer would be great.”
“Good. Do you wanna grab us a table and I’ll bring them over?”
I found us a table, smiling at the few locals that were already in there, and hitched myself up onto a stool.
“Karl, Wyatt, how you doin’?” Brandon asked, doing a chin dip to the two men at the next table. They both lifted their beers and smiled, murmuring that they were okay.
“It was Wyatt’s horse that you and Addy were feedin’ earlier,” Brandon explained.
“Oh yes, I remember Bonnie saying. Jesse’s breaking him in, is that right?”
Brandon grinned. “Breakin’ her in, but yeah, he is. Jesse is amazin’ at gettin’ a horse to do exactly what he wants.”
I nodded and gave him a tight smile. Brandon wasn’t helping me to forget Jesse when he kept bringing him into the conversation. But, they were best friends who worked together, I suppose it was natural that a lot of Brandon’s stories included the beautiful, dirty blond haired, blue eyed rancher that I couldn’t stop yearning for.
“I keep telling him he should make more of a business out of it, but he loves his cattle.” Brandon took a swig of his beer and looked at me over the rim of the bottle. “So, what about you, what brings you to the Connor ranch?”
I breathed a small sigh of relief that neither Jesse nor Garratt had told Brandon about my humiliation. It was bad enough that they knew without my date knowing, too.
“Oh, just wanted a change,” I replied, which was not totally a lie. “I wanted to get away from the town I lived in for a while. The job taking care of Addy came up, so I thought, why not?”
“Bridge Vale doesn’t strike me as the place to escape to, most people wanna escape from it.”
“That’s what Garratt said,” I replied before taking a drink from my own beer.
Brandon’s smile faded momentarily at the mention of Garratt’s name. “You were a teacher, back home?” he asked.
“Kind of. I have a teaching degree but taught the older kids at Nursery – your Pre-school. I did reading and basic arithmetic with the kids Addy’s age.”
Brandon nodded in understanding. “Addy should be in pre-school, really, but I guess you heard all about that?”
“Yes, I did. Honestly, I think Jesse had a point. She will learn more on the ranch if what I heard about the teacher is true.”
“Oh, it’s true alright,” Brandon laughed. “Muriel Prewitt is mean and too harsh to be a teacher, but when your husband is Principle, maybe it don’t matter whether you can actually do the job.”
“Maybe.”
“Hey, you know you would do a great job there, if we could just get rid of old Muriel.” Brandon gently pushed at my shoulder with his beer bottle.
“I’m only here for a year,” I said with a shake of the head. “Once Addy goes to school my contract is over.”
His gaze roamed lazily over my face and I felt a shiver run across my skin. Want enveloped me, but I knew it was only a natural instinct to a good looking man looking at me as though I was his last supper. It wasn’t necessarily want for Brandon the man.
“Maybe you’ll change your mind,” he whispered. “At the end of the year I might have persuaded you to stay.”
Unable to meet his stare any longer, I lowered my head and allowed my hair t
o fall forward, shielding my face. Brandon reached a hand out and, with a long finger, lifted my chin.
“Don’t hide that pretty face,” he said softly.
I smiled and was about to say something when the bar door swung open and in walked Jesse and Garratt, looking like one half of a boy band. The two brothers had the same long limbed, confident walk and the same swimmer’s physique; broad shoulders and narrow waists, Jesse’s a little more muscular.
When they spotted us, Garratt stopped in his tracks and stiffened while Jesse gave us a chin dip and carried on to the bar.
All of a sudden, the optimism that I’d felt about tonight dwindled and I knew that while I was here and still had to see and interact with Jesse, Brandon would never have a chance of persuading me to stay.
Jesse
I’d gone over to the house to put Addy to bed and Garratt’s sour mood practically hit me in the chest as soon as I walked through the door. He was sitting on the couch looking at the TV with a look meaner than a steer who’d realized what his balls had been for.
“Daddy,” Addy had cried excitedly, scramblin’ from Dad’s knee. “I missed you.”
As she ran into my arms, I felt my heart ache. How could I have ignored her for so long? Okay, I wasn’t ready to be full on Daddy just yet; this, being close to her, still hurt because of the family we should have been, but it was getting easier. Shit, the fact that I actually wanted to put her to bed was a miracle, but Millie was right; Addy had been dealt just as hard a heart break as I had, if not harder. Fucking Millie!
When I came down the stairs after tucking Addy in, Garratt was still looking mad. I knew it wasn’t me he was mad at, we’d both apologized for our fight and shook hands on a truce, and I knew me making an effort with Addy was all he’d ever wanted.
“What’s wrong with him?” I asked my mom.
“He’s not happy Millie went out with Brandon,” Mom said, casting a weary glance at Garratt.
My poor mom. Between us, Garratt and I made her life shit with our problems. Then what she said filtered from my ears to my brain. Millie was out on a date with fucking Brandon. I’d spent all day pushing that nugget from my head, mostly because I was mad at myself for giving a shit. Millie was nothing to me, just Addy’s care giver. Okay, so we’d had some hot action against the barn, but that had been a mistake. I knew it as soon as she’d stopped shaking in my arms from her orgasm. She wasn’t a quick fuck like Angie, and she was not…well she was not Melody.