by Nikki Ashton
Because it was a school for gifted children, and lessons were much more intense, they only attended school for four days of the week then, on a Thursday afternoon, various buses transported all the kids home. That’s why Jesse’s truck was full to bursting. We’d had to buy Addy a duplicate of everything that she had at home, just so she wouldn’t have to haul things on the bus every weekend.
“We’ll see how it goes and if she doesn’t like it, or you’re not happy, then maybe I can collect her.”
“No, honey. That’s a four hour round trip that I do not want you doing, especially if you had to take the kids with you. Can you imagine my fucking stress levels? My whole life in one fucking car, without me. Nope, not happening. If necessary, I’ll hire a driver, or send one of the boys.”
Before I could say anything else, Addy came skipping around the corner from saying goodbye to her grandparents. She was really excited, but when she saw Jesse’s face, she slowed to a walk.
“Baby, don’t spoil this for her,” I whispered.
Jesse looked up at me and nodded.
“Come on then, Adaline Marie Connor, let’s get you to school.” He plastered on a smile and held his hand out to Addy.
It was at that moment I saw it hit Addy; she was going away from her family and while it was an exciting time, the realization of not being on the ranch every day and being with all of us was suddenly a little daunting.
I knew how she felt, leaving Mum and Javi behind permanently had been heart wrenching, but I loved Jesse and Addy and couldn’t imagine a life without them. Thankfully, Mum and Javi were able to visit at least every eighteen months or so and Jesse had even spoken to them about coming out here to live. Mum missed her grandbabies and Javi wanted a fresh start, so I was forever hopeful.
As I looked down at Addy, I saw her bottom lip tremble, just as it had that first day I met her. Then tears started to roll slowly down her cheeks.
“Hey,” Jesse soothed, pulling her into his arms. “It’s gonna be fine, you’ll love every minute of it.”
I watched him brush his hands through her long blonde hair and I couldn’t have loved him any more if I’d tried. He could easily have used her fears to persuade her to stay, but he didn’t; he was doing what he knew she wanted and what was best for her.
“Momma,” Addy sobbed and pulled away from Jesse to wrap her thin little arms around my waist. “I’m going to miss you, so much.”
“I’ll miss you too, sweetie, but you’ll be home before you know it. It’s just four days, that’s all. Think of it this way. It’s four days without Clemmie wanting you to play tea parties, or Hunter trying to stop you from reading by slapping his sticky hands all over your book. Okay?”
She looked up at me with tear filled eyes and nodded. God, I loved this child with all my heart, as much as if she were my own. I had loved her pretty much from the moment I met her, much the same as I had her father, but the first time she called me ‘momma,’ I fell even harder. It had been the day of our wedding, here on the ranch, a service held in the pasture, and then a reception in a marquee that Jesse and the boys erected. Jesse and I were having our first dance to Etta James’ ‘At Last’, when Addy tugged on Jesse’s perfectly tailored suit jacket and said, ‘May I have this dance with my momma?’. With both of us crying, Jesse, Addy, and I all danced together and I had never been happier.
“I love you,” I whispered, and kissed her head that I was clutching to my chest.
“I love you too, Momma.” She lifted her head and beautiful blue eyes stared up at me. “Momma?”
“Yes, Addy,” I replied, smoothing down her hair.
“Will you give Clemmie the box of hearts?” she asked. “Tell her what she needs to do.”
I nodded and held my breath to hold back the sob.
“Tell her that she needs to be really careful,” she said earnestly. “Only give people their heart when she knows it’s right. When she knows it’s true love.”
With more tears, I gave her one final squeeze. “I will, I promise.”
I didn’t want to let go, but she had to be booked in at the halls of residence by four, and it was already one-thirty. Jesse had asked me to go along, but I thought he needed to be alone with Addy for the two hour drive. They were as close as father and daughter could be, did everything together; rode out on a Sunday morning together, went fishing together, she’d even been known to go out with him during calving season, sometimes at night, too if there had been a difficult birth. That we’d argued about, but Jesse was adamant that his girls should learn everything that he would eventually teach Hunter.
As I let Addy go, Jesse kneeled down in front of her and took hold of her hands.
“Okay?”
She nodded. “Yes, Daddy.”
“That’s my girl, but remember; if at any time you want to come home, you just pick up a phone and no matter what is happening on this ranch, I will leave and come and get you. You are my precious baby, my first born, and I will always be there for you.”
Jesse swallowed hard, pushing Addy’s hair away from her face, while I had to swipe away a tear from my cheek.
“I wasn’t always the best daddy,” he said quietly. “I know that, but I always loved you. You, your sister and brother, and your momma are my life and if anything happened to any of you, my heart would be broken, but I’d carry on for the rest of you. But when Momma Melody died, I forgot that you needed me even more than ever before, and I’ll be forever sorry for that. Just know that you’re my angel and I adore and love you.”
Jesse coughed to hide the emotion in his voice, but he couldn’t help but let out a heart wrenching groan when Addy flung her arms around his neck and squeezed him with every bit of strength that she had.
“I know you love me, Daddy, you were just a little bit broken, until Momma came to live with us,” she said against his neck.
Now my tears careened as fast as white water falls down my face and I could see that Jesse was struggling to hold it together.
“Yes, Addy, I was a little bit broken, and your momma did heal me, but I should never have let you think that I didn’t care about you, and I should never have neglected you the way I did. I guess my head was up my ass for a while.”
“Jesse!” I scolded through tearful laughter.
“It’s okay, Momma. I know not to say that.”
I patted Addy’s head and gave Jesse one of my looks that I used on the kids when I was disappointed with them. Jesse, like the kids, just laughed.
“Okay sweetie, you ready?”
Addy nodded and wiped at her face before turning to me.
“I love you Momma, and tell Clemmie and Hunter I’ll see them on Thursday.”
I nodded, unable to speak. We’d left Clemmie and Hunter with Bella, Trent the foreman’s wife, thinking that it would all be too traumatic for them as they wouldn’t understand that Addy was actually coming back. Jesse had worked horses for the last five years, as well as having 650 pairs on the ranch, so he needed a foreman and Trent had become invaluable. He and Bella lived in Jesse’s old cabin that we had also extended.
Jesse had offered the job to Zak, but with twin boys, a terror of a three year old girl and Sarah to keep check on, he’d turned it down. Sarah still caused havoc when we had girl’s night and she was my best friend who I loved like a sister.
“I’ll see you in a few hours, honey,” Jesse said and leaned forward to take my mouth in a soft kiss. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, both of you.”
I waved goodbye until I could no longer see the truck, and then stood waiting for a few more minutes. I kind of hoped that they’d come back and Addy would say she’d changed her mind, but they didn’t.
When Jesse got home just before dinner, he looked thoroughly washed out; today had been hard on him. What he’d said to Addy was true. After Melody died, he couldn’t see past his own grief and pushed away the most precious gift that he’d been given. The one decent thing that Melody had done for him.
Thankfully, Addy didn’t suffer any long term effects of that time and in some ways, it made her love for Jesse even stronger, and his for her.
“You okay, baby?” I asked as he dropped his forehead to my shoulder, his hands resting on my hips.
“I will be. It was hard, you know.”
“I know, but I’ll make it better for you.”
Jesse lifted his head and grinned.
“You wanna make another baby?” he asked excitedly.
I slapped his chest and gently pushed him away.
“No, I do not. Not yet anyway. But I’d sure love to practice, cowboy.”
Jesse dropped his head back and roared with laughter at my attempt on his accent. In all the years since I’d first come here, I still hadn’t mastered it.
“God, I love you, Armalita.”
“Hey, what’ve I done wrong? You only call me Armalita when I’m in trouble.”
“Nope.” he shook his head. “I think you’ll find I call you Armalita before I fuck you long and hard and smack that delicious ass of yours.”
I thought about it and he was right; I just assumed it was make up sex.
“In that case, Mr. Connor, you’d better take me to bed and do what you’ve got to do.”
With a dip of his body, he had me upside down over his shoulder and carried me upstairs, creeping past Clemmie and Hunter’s rooms so as not to wake them.
He made good on his promise on fucking me long and hard, but he also gave me a baby, too; you’d think I’d have learned that when Jesse Connor wants something, he usually gets it. So, nine months and ten days later, Ruby Jessica Connor was born completing our family. She was named after a fluffy white rabbit and her great, great aunt who had died the previous fall; and just like her she was loud, sassy and opinionated, but adored by everyone.
A week after Ruby was born, I sent a thank you card to Dean and Ambrose Ricks-Johnson, thanking them for being the best couple I had ever met.
The End.
Can’t Help Falling In Love – Elvis
Is This Love – Bob Marley
Please Don’t Go – Joel Adams
Hero – Enrique
Thinking Out Loud – Ed Sheeran
Sunshine – TIEKS ft Dan Harkna
Mercy – Shawn Mendes
At Last – Etta James
Starving – Hailee Steinfeld
Say You Won’t Let Go – James Arthur
All of Me – John Legend
Earned It – The Weekend
Treat You Better – Shawn Mendes
Lullaby – Nickleback
Daughters – John Mayer
Let Me Love You – DJ Snake
Fresh Eyes – Andy Grammer
Dancing on My Own – Callum Scott
Tears – Clean Bandit ft Louisa Johnson
English Rose – The Jam
Iris – The Goo Goo Dolls
Better Man – Paolo Nutini
If I Ain’t Got You – Alicia Keys
For me this book was an absolute joy to write, the words simply flowed and I loved every minute of it. That being said, writing a contemporary romance instead of a romantic comedy, was scary too. I wasn’t sure how it would be received, especially having to get the US dialogue correct-Aleesha Davis to the rescue. Thank you Aleesha for your editing and for ensuring that I used the right words. You made the whole experience a little less daunting.
To JC Clarke of The Graphic Shed, thank you for such a beautiful cover and formatting. I’m excited to be working with you on this series, and I know that there are some beautiful covers to come.
Miranda Bly, thank you for naming my rancher. I can’t imagine him as being anything else but Jesse now. You picked a perfect name.
To Caroline James and Victoria Johns, you girls rock. I can’t believe just over a year ago, as the song goes ‘I just hadn’t met you yet’. You both help me so much with plot lines, inspiration and confidence. You’re my cheerleaders and have no idea how much that means to me coming from two such talented women.
To my street team-Laura Jackson, Hayley Buckley, Ally Williams, Nadine Keedy, Laura Nelson, Cal Sleath, Samanth Ann, Nicole Roberts, Colette Locock, Catherine Hayward, Alison Daughtrey-Drew and Stephanie O’Neil. Girls you are the best. Your support is unfailing and you always put a smile on my face.
Patsy Taylor and Sherri Bell, thank you as always for loving my words even in their rawest form.
Laura Barnard, you are Super Woman. I thought I’d got it covered until you started to help me, so a mahoosive thank you for everything.
To my family, I love you more than you’ll ever know and I hope that I make you proud.
Finally, as always Mr. A. David, I know I’m always busy typing away in the corner, but my heart is always with you- even if I only join you on the sofa to watch football. Your encouragement and love means the world to me and if it wasn’t for you and your vocabulary I’d be a mess.
Much love, as always,
Nikki X