Shimmers & Shrouds (Abstruse)

by Brukett, Scarlett

  I scooped her in my arms and carried her to put her on the bed, the muscles in my body tightened with anticipation.

  This was better than anything I had desired for. The things I had dreamed, Orpheus, Oceana, and love.

  I doubted on the maximum chances of her liking all what I was going to do. But I decided against my brain. It worked way too much. I closed the distance to a few inches, and slipped her strap over the shoulders. She willingly let go off the dress and wrapped her arms around my waist band.

  "Will I be anything to you after everything ends?” Her voice shelled the frantic need.

  "How About you being my everything?" I bent down to kiss her throat, and smiled. She was my everything, and now, she knew it.

  "Sounds promising." She hugged me; skin against skin, wow.... I was mesmerized. This was what her touch could do to me. I was a crazy guy... crazy for her.

  "You bet." I gave her a smooch, and both of us collapsed on the bed.

  Life was so unpredictable for me since this beautiful lady emerged out of nowhere in it. Before her, it was just me and my career and some hot chicks to have night stands with. But now, I was unsure of the way my life was leading me. I had fallen for her and now my entire universe revolved around her. Exploring her body was something so new to me. With her, it was as if I was making love for the first time in my life. The ecstasy, the thrill, all this longing for her was worth it. She was worth every single risk of my life. I gazed at her beautiful face; I could stare at her for eternity. Everything about her made me crazy from the top. She was mine now. And nothing in the world was going to tear us apart. I was a part of her, and I belonged to her like she belonged to me.

  Aura of love.

  I woke up, startled by a shocking dream. It took me a bit longer to compose my ragged breathing. Though this nightmare had completely drained out the most beautiful night of my life, I was fortunate enough to reckon the traces of it, like, her hands on my back, my mouth on hers, our love, the touch of her skin against mine and the feeling of being inside her. This night had turned into a beautiful fantasy dream, a dream I never wanted to live without her. And then there was my life to share with her as well.

  I smiled at the extent of the sweetness of my own thoughts. I was surely not going to have enough of her.

  Unthinkingly I placed my arm on the part of bed she was supposedly sleeping, but her absence blew my senses. I jolted into an upright position and analyzed the room. The blue couch, brown walls, and a flower vase; of course it was her room. I peeked inside my cover. Yes, I wasn't wearing anything. That meant I hadn't dreamt this up. It had happened, but where was she?

  Just then I heard the bathroom door open, and out came Oceana, wrapped in a towel. Water was dripping from her hair and her beautiful body was glowing from all the washing. She didn't look at me, and went inside the other room as soon as she came out. My heart started bubbling with joy and the memories of the last night, that were extremely vivid, came flooding back to me.

  I got out of the bed and donned my shirt and jeans. I made my way to the room. She had almost dressed herself in a pair of chocolate hot pants, and was halfway with her dull green strapped top. Her back stiffened when I entered the room, however she didn't stop with her job. I walked towards her held her by the waist, gently planting a kiss on the nape of her neck.

  "Hey, good morning." I whispered, relieved that she was as real as the last night.

  "Morning" her voice was dry, but she didn't break free. A greater relief spread across my chest.

  I started swaying her giving butterfly kisses on her back. "You have your college today?"

  " No its a Saturday." She inhaled.

  "Okay." I left her and she straightened herself. Something in the mirror caught my eye. My eyes were brighter, and I had a big grin on my face. There was an entirely different person I was witnessing right now.

  "What do you want to eat?" I heard her voice and turned back to see her. She had disappeared into the kitchen. I strode over to her, wow. She was very quick with the vegetables.

  "You." I smirked.

  She froze in her place, and looked at me with her wide eyes. I winked at her and she eased her stiffened position considerably. Finally there was something I was good at.

  A smile washed across her beautiful face."I hope that was possible."

  I brushed her back with my hands as I reached for a glass to drink some water."I really wish that was, however I'll be happy to have you in my bed. It's almost the same" I grinned.

  "Right now I'll just be happy if you let me know what you would like to have in breakfast." She moved swiftly from the platform to the fridge and took some bell peppers out of it. I spotted a bowl of boiled noodles. Perhaps, I would be fine with some change in my menu.

  "Some noodles will just be fine, a glass of orange juice." I put my glass in the sink and stepped back to have a better view of her amazing body. "And a bed full of you." I added.

  Oops, I suppose that was pretty shameless.

  " I'll be right away with them."

  Honestly, I was expecting a more romantic morning. This just wasn't it.

  "Have you completed your assignments?" 'Why am I even trying? She is just not into a conversation with me.' I thought.

  "I don't see why it bothers you" she stared at me coldly. Well. This was exactly what I was talking about.

  "I'm just asking Oceana!" I realized my voice was pitched higher. She was ruining my mood

  "Please be quite I am trying to focus" she snapped.

  " On what?" I demanded. If she had ruined all of it, I wouldn't be happy to quit the conversation halfway.

  " I'm in a mess right now Orpheus and I need peace." She grew calm.

  She said she was in a mess. My hands were clenched into fists. Did she mean it was... me? Or was it our.. her first night.

  But why would she be in a mess because of me. She wanted that to happen more than I could imagine. Damn. She must have meant me.

  "Did I do something?" I asked sadly.

  She shook her head in disapproval. "It’s not about you."

  Those four words were soothing. But I noticed that my posture wasn't changed much. Perhaps my body knew the answer much better than me. It was all about me.

  "Then?" I insisted. I was expecting an answer that would compensate the spoilt morning. She narrowed her eyes at me, what had happened to my chatty Oceana? "I am waiting." I added.

  She stopped chopping the onions and put her hands on her waist tilting her head sideways. My favourite posture in the world. I was just crazy for this.

  "Orpheus. Please stop annoying." She said curtly.

  She turned to face away and continued chopping the vegetables. Oh god, why was she so stubborn?

  I reached for her and grasped her hand. She was rooted to the spot again."Now I am annoying you." she softened and gave herself to me, again. I turned her to face me. "Oceana. Tell me. I want to know what's bothering you."

  "You can't do anything about it." It sounded as if she was convincing herself more than me.

  "Try me."

  "You're so stubborn." she murmured. Jesus! That uneven crooked, heart smashing smile. This lady was amazing in every single way.

  I tried to be serious. "I know. Now tell me."

  The smile disappeared in another moment, like it was never there."You don't own me, I am not your goddamn property Orpheus." She shrugged my hands off her.

  "Yes. But you're mine." I wanted to yell at her for being so― insensible, but she was already so distracted that I chucked the idea out of my brain.

  "God help me..! Orpheus. Stop being in love. This is exactly why I am annoyed." She pushed me away. I was bewildered. What was making her so anxious?

  "I am not being in love, for Christ's sake, Oceana." I frowned.

  " Then stop trying to be cheesy. It doesn't suit you." She gawked.

  For me, there was always a limit to tolerate something. Even if it was listening to the problems of the only girl I loved.
>
  "What the hell is your problem?" Damn. Please.

  "I told you I need peace." she closed her eyes. I was sure that something was killing her from the inside. My poor girl. "All that has happened last night...I am a little scattered right now. Please Orpheus, I am all nice to you, and I need you to extend me the same courtesy." She begged.

  The hell... she needed peace. For what? After stopping her repeatedly, she said those heart melting words that made it difficult for me to stay away, and now that she had lost herself with me, she wanted to examine whether she had taken the right decision. Like it would really create a difference if she found out that she couldn't bring that moment back. It was gone. And she was intelligent enough to understand that very well.

  "I don't care whatsoever." I snarled and stalked out of the kitchen. "And If it is about last night"... wow... it was a long beautiful night. "I am sorry, I can't give you your virginity back." I buttoned my shirt, tucked it in and smoothened my hair. "Compose yourself, and call me when you're good. I'll be at your door then."

  I picked my coat from the couch and slid my arms through it. I glanced at her. She was leaning on the edge of the couch, at a distance of few short feet. I could have grabbed her and kissed her with all my might if I wasn't extremely mad at her right now.

  I buttoned my coat as well and helped myself with the socks.

  "Orpheus, don't go." Finally, I heard her speak something that made my heart skip a beat.

  I reminded myself that I was really mad at her; this emotional blackmail was not going to work out in any case. But after reaching the door, I hesitated a great deal to open it at nine in the morning. It wasn't a weekday, so obviously the entire neighborhood was going to be out enjoying the sun. That meant MEDIA, and PERSONAL QUESTIONS. I wasn't worried about myself as much as I was worried about her.

  Just then I felt a warm hand clasping mine.

  "Hey. Stop" She muttered. I noticed her voice cracking at the end.

  I sighed. Why was it so difficult to keep my emotions in check around her.?

  "It was all my fault. I should have stopped when I had to." I withdrew my hand from hers. I fought off the feeling, this urge to break free from her spell. I knew it wasn't going to work even if I wanted it to, quietly, I reached for the door.

  "It wasn't you."

  Curse me. I had forgotten that I gave her the power to have such control over me. I stopped again, on hearing her voice.

  "Both of us know how desperate I was." She said.

  I turned to look at her. Damn, that blush... I wanted to kiss her― No, I was mad at her.. I was going to be mad at her as long as my heart could resist that amazingly beautiful face and that body I longed to possess.

  "Desperate for sex?" My voice was harsher than usual.

  "Shut up." She swallowed, and for the first time in so many weeks, I witnessed her grinding her teeth, she was in pain.

  "And that too with me." I continued to shower the ruthless truth which she had been ignoring all this time, which I had been ignoring all this time. Because, now she had to face it. It just wasn't about me alone. It was about us.. Together.. A twenty nine year old rich spoilt brat, and a drop dead gorgeous teenager who had the capacity to make any guy fall head over heels for her. "You know I am a heart breaker and still you chose to violate your 'one man woman' concept with me."

  "I can handle it."

  "But I can't."

  She shook her head, it was nauseating to see her so disturbed.

  She came closer to me, closer than required for the conversation to be social anymore. She was just inches away from my heating body.

  "Okay Orpheus," she closed her eyes and shook her head once again."Its been more than a month we know each other. So if I am saying I am not mad as hell for you, trust me, I am lying." She sobbed. I looked away for a moment. Those eyes… I was sure that there was no way I could help myself fall in the trap she had set.

  I gaped at her with the coldest look I could ever manage. "I am not very glad to hear this."

  "Me too." She held my hand in hers again. Tears were oozing down her cheeks.

  "This isn't good Oceana." I scowled.

  "I wish I could help." She ripped her hand off mine and sobbed once again. "You can go now."

  She left me on my own to decide, but I wasn't sure if she really wanted that to happen.

  "You won't stop me?"

  She shrugged her shoulders, but her eyes never left mine. "I did my part. I gave it a try, I am not going to stop you now."

  I sighed. Now that she had asked me to do what I wanted, my heart started to ache already.

  "Take care, Oceana." I reached for the door knob, but my actions were slow, irritatingly slow.

  "I will." Her tone was awfully sharp. I looked at her; she briskly walked back to the kitchen, not caring to give a look in my direction. I turned the knob and the door was finally open. Now I had a choice to either stay or leave. Two alternatives were open to me, I could simply walk out of the door and let her deal with her problems, or I could stay back and make her believe that I really wanted to help her out with this.

  It was still a wonderful thing to know how of all the girls in the world, my heart had chosen her. Not that I was complaining, she was one unique beautiful thing in the world, She was mine. And right now, she needed me, the most. I couldn't turn my back on her so she could fight with the issues that were distracting her, not when I knew I was a part of them. I closed the door behind me, and walked back to the kitchen. I was at the door when I spotted her standing near the sink; she was facing towards the window opposite to the door. She stood there motionless, the onions were still half chopped and that bowl of noodles was on the platform. Perhaps she must have assumed that I was gone. Silly girl. How could I go leaving my baby in a mess? And she bragged about knowing me more than me.

  Before I could say anything that made her believe I hadn't left, a burst of full blown sobs chilled me down the spine. She started to cry. Oh no, what the hell did I do?

  She muttered something. I couldn't really make out what it was at first but as the sobs grew louder, I realized I was responsible for the tears. I immediately knew what she said. Maybe, it was something like 'damn it Orpheus, you shouldn't have left.'

  I knocked on the door, twice, and the sobs stopped at once.

  "May I come in?"

  She whirled around, and her tensed posture visibly relaxed.

  "You didn't go?" From the shock in her voice it felt as if she was a little child who had been crying for hours to get a lollipop, and I was her candy. The only thing she had ever wanted.

  I walked towards her with slow light steps."I sent my alter ego out. He won't bother us with his presence anymore."

  Her forehead creased in bewilderment. "I didn't get it."

  I flashed a smile, and shamefacedly whisked. "In simple words, heart breaker Orpheus is out. And Oceana’s Orpheus is in." I wiped her tears, and she smiled.

  "My Orpheus?" She bit her lip, to hide her smile. She was so easy to love.

  "Yes."I wrapped my arms around her. "Your Orpheus. I am sorry." I breathed.

  "You have alters?" Wow she was quite intelligent, better than what I had expected. Okay. She was unexpected. All of her, actually.

  "No. Alter ego." I couldn't believe I was going to reveal my biggest secret. Something nobody knew about. I wasn't sure of her reaction though.

  "An alter ego." She repeated.

  I rationalized everything. From the day I was born, my fears of losing something were limited to mom and dad. But after her death there was no such threat to me until now. Oceana was actually the only person I wished not to lose. By telling her something about my personality issues, I was risking my everything. I hugged her tighter, I was going to let go off such a big part of me even when it wasn't necessary. Not knowing how she would react to it.

  "You asked me if there was something left to tell you who I was. You were right girl. I really was hiding something."

  "This?" />
  "You heard me. You just know a part of me Oceana, a part you can deal with." I murmured against her neck.

  "I think I can deal with whole you."

  "You can. I am sure. But it's better if you don't. Hurting you is the last thing I want to happen."

  She flinched at my words and I released her.

  "Why?" This one word had the power to beat the hell out of me; virtually as well as physically.

  I glanced at her. It didn't look as easy as I thought it was. My inner instincts were instructing not to disclose it off.

  "Because, I feel for you. Its something I never wanted to feel in my entire life."

  Her lips twitched into a smile and her expressions were amused."Something like love?"

  I grinned, something like love? No stupid, it is love. But, right now, I let my alter express its Confucianism. Because he formed a major part of me, and she needed to know how messed up I was to deal with. I wanted to see if she was capable to handle me at my worst and yet choose to live her life with someone who considered her a goddess, to worship.

  "Will that make you happy?" I asked grimly.

  "I am not sure."

  "It’s a no then." I sighed, she was not sure. Well... "But I feel responsible for you, I care for you. Didn’t I tell you that you’re my everything?"

  "You did." She nodded.

  I cared for her in a way no one cared for anyone. I knew this was confusing for her to understand though. 'How about an example?' My heart suggested.

  "You've seen my phone, haven't you?"

  "Your black diamond?"

  "Yes. My black diamond." I loved it. My dad had gifted it to me on my arrival from the fronts as my Christmas gift. It was a seven hundred thousand pound present. But I loved it for other reasons. The designer had somehow managed to modulate a girl's voice into my mother's, and every time it unlocked, the speech instructions were given in her voice, not formally, rather lovingly. It was worth every single penny that dad had paid.