Lydia turned to look and let out an equally horrified gasp. There were about four of them, and they all maintained a safe distance. Once the funeral party had begun to file into the parking lot, the four photographers took an alert stance and their eyes scanned the sea of mourners. They didn’t seem to care about the other funeral attendees. But once Jake was within plain sight of their camera lenses, they began snapping away. One of the photographers became bold and got as close to Jake as possible.
“How do you feel about the death of your father, Jake?” a young, lanky photographer asked while the bulb of the flash blinked in front of Jake’s face. He snapped several more shots of the rock star. Jake looked up just then. A cloud of rage was slowly transforming his previously subdued demeanor. Before the photographer could brace himself, Jake lashed out and flattened the young man to the ground with a single punch to the face. Roy quickly appeared next to Jake and pulled him along in an effort to abate any further violence. Juan stormed over to the photographer, who was in the process of stumbling to his feet while also checking the camera to ensure the device had not been damaged by the fall. Juan hissed in an angry voice, “Get out of here before I call the cops.”
“Hey, it’s a free country,” the man replied. He then revised his stance when he saw the fiery inferno building in Juan’s dark eyes. “Fine, we’ll leave.”
Carly, Amanda, and Aaron watched as the uninvited intruders gathered their equipment and retreated to their van.
“Damn paparazzi,” Aaron spat, shaking his head.
“Well, let’s hope they don’t follow us to Jake’s house,” Carly said, walking alongside the twins.
“If they do,” Amanda began, “I’m sure your dad will do a lot more than just give them a warning.”
They continued their walk to the parking area. Lines of cars were already proceeding to depart the cemetery in order to converge upon the Harmon house.
* * * *
The Harmon's two-story, colonial-style home was packed wall-to-wall with darkly clad guests extending their deepest condolences to an unresponsive Mrs. Harmon seated at the kitchen table. Carly stared at the blonde woman, who had always appeared so vibrant. She looked dull, and her frailty seemed even more noticeable now. There was a blank expression in her light blue eyes, and she barely responded to the activity surrounding her. Carly looked around the living room to see if she could spot Jake. Instead, she caught a glimpse of her father standing guard at the buffet table. Juan motioned for her to join him. She walked to the table, which was laden with sundry casseroles, breads, fruits, finger sandwiches, and a cornucopia of fruit pies. Juan had just popped a cracker into his mouth when Carly approached, and he mumbled through a mouthful of food about how delicious the pies looked.
“Dad, you’re being rude,” she scolded him.
He shrugged sheepishly and swallowed. His expression then turned serious.
“You okay, honey?” he asked, scanning her face. He patted her on the head. Carly looked up at him and tried to smile. She only nodded.
“I’m worried about Jake.”
Juan nodded to indicate he understood and said knowingly, “Of course you are, Carlita. We’re all praying for Jake and his mother to make it through this tough time.”
She sighed and decided she needed fresh air. Excusing herself, she walked through the French doors that led out into the garden. Breathing in deeply, she suddenly noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. She turned and saw Jake sitting on a lawn chair. His black suit was somewhat disheveled, as was his hair. His suit jacket was unbuttoned, and Carly could tell he had untucked his white dress shirt. He looked up at her then. She immediately noticed the hurt expression in his eyes. She smiled at him, yet he didn’t even move a muscle on his face to reciprocate the friendly gesture. She stood there for a while, rooted to the ground as she considered what her next move would be. She wanted to comfort him, yet she didn’t know if he would accept her sympathy. She moved toward him and sat down in the lawn chair next to his. They remained encased in an uncomfortable silence for what seemed hours. She wondered if she shouldn’t have opted for the decision to leave him alone instead. She started to slide forward in the chair in an effort to heave herself up, but Jake finally broke the silence.
“I never should have left.”
Carly became still and wondered what he meant by that. She waited for him to expound, which he did.
“I should've been there for him instead of doing this stupid, fucking tour. I should've come home when my mom called and told me he wasn't doing well.”
Carly turned to look at him. Her heart suddenly felt heavy as the realization of what he was talking about dawned on her. She bit at her lip and thought of what best to say to a person who blamed himself. She said, “Don't do that to yourself, Jake. No one could've predicted this would happen.”
“Yeah,” he responded with a tone riddled with melancholy. “But I just wonder if me leaving had something to do with his..." He didn't finish.
She responded, “This isn't about you, Jake. His health was already bad. You pursuing your dream has nothing to do with your father's health. So stop blaming yourself."
“Do you know what the one thing was that I always wanted my father to say to me?” he said, staring straight ahead.
Carly could hear his voice start to waver a little. He continued. “I just wanted to hear him say that he was proud of me, and that he loved me."
He paused.
"All I ever got was criticism. That I wasn't good enough."
Carly had to bite her lower lip to keep her emotions at bay.
“I always figured that if I went to L.A. and really made something of myself, then maybe he would've finally been proud of me. And now that's never going to happen...I'll never hear that from him."
He looked at her then. “That’s all I ever wanted from him. To let me know he loved me, that I was good enough."
Carly jumped up and crouched down in front of him, placing her hands on his knees. She looked up at him and said in a gentle, soothing voice, “Your father was proud of you, and he loved you so much, Jake. I know he did, I saw it in him. That’s why he pushed you so hard, because he only ever wanted the best for you.”
“I just wish more than anything we could’ve fixed all this messed-up shit between us,” he said through gritted teeth. The regret in his voice was unmistakable. “The last time I saw him, we were yelling at each other.”
“Don’t beat yourself up,” Carly said. “What’s important is that he knew you loved him, and you need to realize he loved you, too. Nothing, not even a fight, changes any of that.”
He reached forward unexpectedly and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. He said softly, “You have no idea how glad I am that you’re here, Carly.”
His words warmed her. But before she could reply, the French doors opened wide and Roy and the twins approached.
“There you are!” Roy exclaimed. "We were looking all over for you."
“Thanks for showing up, guys,” Jake said to Roy and Aaron, truly appreciative of the effort it took them to find last minute flights to make it to the funeral.
“That’s what friends are for,” Aaron said matter-of-factly.
“Are you gonna start singing to us like Dionne Warwick?” Roy teased the twin.
Aaron rolled his eyes while Carly and Amanda giggled. Roy brushed the silly comment aside and said earnestly, “I’m really sorry about your dad, Jake.”
“Thanks, man," Jake replied. He then said, "Can we change the subject now? I've been hearing condolences all day."
“Yeah,” Carly stepped in. “Let’s talk about something else.”
And so they did. They spent the remainder of the early evening lounging on the patio, reminiscing about their most memorable childhood experiences that had strengthened their existing friendship. They laughed and teased each other and pointed out each other’s most notable moments as if leafing through a photo album. Jake began to look and act like his usual sel
f, and this absolutely delighted Carly. It felt like old times, as if nothing had ever changed and they were still in high school. Thus, when the time came for everyone to clear out of the Harmon house and depart for the night, Carly felt a deep sense of woe. She wished they could have spent all night together in Jake’s backyard, talking and laughing. But she knew all good things had to come to an end. She sighed as she walked to the coat closet to grab her shawl. Suddenly, Jake grabbed her by the arm. He looked at her as if silently pleading for her to stay.
“I need you tonight,” he told her. “I don’t want you to leave.”
Carly nodded.
Everyone had left by ten o’clock, and the house seemed so empty and soulless now. Mrs. Harmon had immediately retreated to her bedroom, leaving Carly and Jake to clean things up. Jake was putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher while Carly placed the leftover food from the buffet into plastic containers.
“You guys are gonna have food for weeks,” she remarked, opening the refrigerator to put away a leftover cherry pie.
“I'm not staying for long,” Jake replied as he rinsed a plate under the faucet.
She felt a sharp prick of disappointment and wondered when exactly he would leave her again. She tried not to think about it, and she convinced herself to take full advantage of his company while he was around. After all the dishes had been loaded and the last vestiges of food stored away, Carly and Jake retired to his bedroom. She fell back onto his bed while he plopped down on the floor and leaned his head against the dresser. She turned her head to look at the bedside clock and groaned at the big red digits.
“What’s wrong?” he mumbled, sounding completely exhausted.
“Can you believe it’s one in the morning?” she said. She let out a long, drawn-out yawn.
They fell silent as Carly stared at the ceiling and Jake stared at her. He finally got up off the floor and opened the closet door to retrieve the guitar that had started it all. He sat next to her on the bed. She rolled over onto her stomach, propped up on her elbows, and looked at him with curiosity.
“I wanna play something for you,” he explained. “I wrote this when we first started touring, somewhere between L.A. and St. Louis. I finally perfected the chorus in Seattle.”
She listened intently as he played, relishing the gentle rock ballad. The words he sang seemed so reflective of something that he had actually experienced at one time or another in his life. The words seemed so genuinely heartfelt that she could feel her emotions begin to stir. He sang of having finally found that one thing he had searched for all his life. Yet, he still felt incomplete and could only find true meaning in her smile. She wondered to herself who this her was - if she was someone he knew or completely made up.
When he had finished, he looked at her and smiled warmly.
“Right now it’s still untitled. So, what do you think?”
“Your next big hit,” she replied genuinely.
“I don’t know if I want it to be my next ‘big hit,’” Jake said earnestly. “It’s just something I wanted…needed to write.”
He placed the guitar on the floor, leaning it against the side of the bed.
“Speaking of albums,” Carly said, “how’s StoneLief’s album doing?”
He slid his whole body on the bed next to her and flipped the television on.
“From what I was last told, our album is doing really well. It took the top spot on the Billboard 200 for several weeks in a row.”
“Yeah, it seems like everyone I know bought your album,” she said, resting her chin on her hand while watching the silly horror flick on the television.
“Seems like it,” he responded. He then added, “I know Roy and Aaron both bought a copy as soon as it came out.”
He looked at Carly then and asked expectantly, “Did you?”
She punched him in the arm and appeared absolutely aghast. Her tone was both chiding and sarcastic when she replied.
"No, Jake, even though you're my best friend, I have no interest in your music."
He laughed and she could have sworn this pleased him immensely.
Feeling the exhaustion begin to overtake her, she laid her head on the pillow. But there was still something nagging her that she just had to get out.
“So, whatever happened with you and Paulina Berredo?” she asked rather boldly. Jake looked at her with delight and humor in his eyes.
“I knew they took pictures of us,” he said, laughing.
“So, are you guys together or not?”
“We dated once or twice. But obviously it didn't work out."
She felt a little better now that she had heard it from him that he was still officially single and was not dating a supermodel. Her mood lightened, and she allowed her head to fall back against the pillow. He flipped the switch on the remote controller a few times before finally taking interest in a late night movie on the Sci Fi channel. She remembered watching the first twenty minutes of the movie before total darkness encompassed her.
She awoke and lifted her head off the pillow, feeling momentarily disoriented. The room was encased in utter darkness. She sat up in bed and looked around the room, searching for an electrical device that would reveal to her the current time. That’s when she heard the soft and shallow breathing. It was very close. She reached out her hand and touched his shoulder, and then she finally recalled where she was and why she was here. Jake had fallen asleep on the bed with his back propped against the wall and was still fully clothed. She decided she wouldn’t allow him to sleep in this awkward position with all of his clothes on, so she began to lift his shirt off. She had lifted it up to his chest when he opened his eyes, startling her.
“What are you doing?” he asked with a strange grin on his face.
Carly felt sheepish, but she answered nonetheless.
“I was gonna tuck you in.” She immediately regretted that absurd comment.
He reached in the direction of the nightstand to turn the bedside lamp on. He then turned to look at her. In the soft glow that the lamp provided, Carly could see the warm expression on his face. He looked at her for what seemed an infinite amount of time, his pale blue eyes roving her face. He finally moved, reaching out to grab her arm and forcing her close to him until she was straddling his upper thighs. Her heart began to quicken its pace and the butterflies did their frantic dance in the pit of her stomach. Somehow she knew what was going to happen, and she thought she might be dreaming.
Jake gently ran his hand through her long hair. He then gripped the back of her head and pulled her forward. For a moment, she could feel the intimacy between them as his lips hovered over hers.
She whispered longingly, “I want you to kiss me, Jake.”
He appeased her immediately. At first, his lips merely caressed hers, gently brushing against them. Then, he became bolder as his tongue swept across her lower lip and he nibbled on the sensitive flesh, sending excruciating waves of pleasure through her body. He felt her need and intensified the kiss. His lips crushed hers, and she moaned as his tongue hungrily explored her mouth. Their kiss became evermore passionate as he ran his hand under her shirt to unclasp her bra. He ravenously kissed her neck, then worked to lift her shirt above her head. Before she knew it, he had flung her shirt and bra to the floor. Now her breasts were completely exposed to him. He relished their sight, and when he noticed her face start to blush with virginal embarrassment, he said with a reassuring tone, “You’re so beautiful. You shouldn’t be embarrassed.”
She smiled at him and allowed him to cup the soft flesh of her breasts. He kneaded them, then used his thumbs to graze the erect nipples. She gasped aloud when Jake bowed his head to envelop the soft flesh of her breasts in his mouth. Her gasps turned into pleasured moans when his tongue began teasing her hardened nipples. He then leaned over her, forcing her to lie on her back. He positioned himself on top of her, and she could feel his strong weight pinning her down. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair while his lips crushed hers
with sensuous ardor. Jake sat up, still straddling her waist, and slipped his shirt off. He then unbuttoned his pants. Carly stared at his body, marveling at the beauty of it. Years of playing football had definitely hardened and defined the muscles on his body, and she yearned to touch every part of it. He then unbuttoned her pants and slid them off of her, tossing them to the floor. He gripped the sides of her waist with both of his hands to keep her still, and then reached down to bestow a series of deep kisses on her abdomen. While his mouth continued its exploration, she could feel him sliding her panties down. He removed them and zealously tossed them aside. Now she lay completely exposed to him. She shook slightly with anticipation as she saw him move down to taste her. She cried aloud at the wonderful sensations that coursed between her legs. She felt a sudden primal desire for him to relinquish the fire welling deep inside of her. She wanted him badly. Before she knew it, she could feel his finger sliding deep inside of her. At first she whimpered at the slight pain his finger caused as it worked to explore her depths. However, the pain soon turned to pleasure, causing her to moan and arch her back. She wanted more. The fire between her legs only intensified. He knew she was ready for him, and he gently withdrew his finger and pinned her down with the weight of his body. Worshipping her face with soft kisses, he finally entered her. She lifted her hips and began to move with him in a slow and steady rhythm. He thrust deeper and deeper inside of her, and she wrapped her legs around his hips to try to bring herself closer to him. The intense fire inside of her burgeoned and became almost unbearable. She needed...no, demanded release. She clutched both sides of the blanket with her hands as his member consumed her entirely. Her moaning became louder, and he kissed her deeply to stifle her cries. The fire had grown out of control, and Jake’s penetration became more frenzied and determined. Before long, they both reached the precipice. Carly cried aloud and Jake grunted as they experienced the exhilarating explosion simultaneously. After lying atop her for several moments and allowing his breathing to slow, Jake gently withdrew and rolled over beside her. He pulled her close to him and held her there. She enjoyed the feel of his bare skin next to hers, and before long she had fallen into a blissful sleep.
The Road to L.A. Page 17