“He’s just overprotective,” I mumbled. Even I could hear the disappointment in my voice, which I didn’t really try to hide.
I mean, this was Levi. Who would he tell? He barely spoke to the others on the team except to mock and tease. He’d hardly go running over to the others to gossip about how Callie had a crush on Noah.
And I did. Admitting it to myself was still new, but it wasn’t exactly a shocker. I’d known for a while now that my feelings for Noah weren’t just friendly, and they wouldn’t be no matter how much I tried to shove them back where they belonged. Out of sight and out of mind.
I mean, ever since that kiss I couldn’t be around him without being crazy aware of him physically. I couldn’t not think about the way he smelled so good, or how amazing it felt to be held by those arms, or to lean into that chest. Or how good his lips had felt on mine.
That kiss had changed everything for me and there was no point in denying it any longer.
I sighed, allowing myself one second to wallow in my patheticness. Having a crush on Noah was hopeless. I’d always known it would be and one brief “it was a mistake” of a kiss didn’t change the fact that Noah would never see me like that.
Levi’s snickering drew me out of my melancholy state.
“What are you laughing at?” I said, pulling away once more. Now more than ever, I wished I’d never invited everyone over. I needed to tell Noah I was moving out and then keep my distance for the remainder of this tournament.
It was either that or have my heart crushed and broken every time he ignored me or pushed me away. I couldn’t last much longer in this weird zone where we weren’t friends but we weren’t more than friends. I needed out.
“You honestly think he’s just overprotective,” Levi said, not even pretending to hide his laughter at my expense.
I shoved his arm off me, too irritated with Levi for giving me that hope in the first time to put up with his antics any longer. “He is overprotective,” I said. “He’s my brother’s best friend. He sees me as a kid sister, he—”
“Uh huh.” Levi cut me off, sounding unimpressed. “And did our illustrious coach actually tell you that? Because I never took him to be a liar. A Debbie Downer, yes. But a liar?” Levi shook his head and took another bite. “I don’t buy it.”
“He did,” I said. Some weird perverse, masochistic part of me felt compelled to prove myself right, even though I so badly wanted to be wrong. “He said…he said….”
I stumbled a bit because his words came back to me in startling clarity. You’re Eric’s kid sister, and I love you.
I blinked at Levi, who’d arched his brows at me in an impossibly smug smirk. See? He seemed to say with that look. I’m right, aren’t I?
“He said…” I started again, but I couldn’t quite finish.
He said I was Eric’s sister. He said he loved me. He didn’t say, I love you as a sister. Was I reading into semantics or…or had that been on purpose?
My eyes widened and I found Levi grinning back at me.
He was grinning because he knew he was right. Noah might’ve been intense and a flirt and a player...but he was always honest. Sometimes to a fault. So what if…
What if he’d worded it that way on purpose?
I snuck a peek over at Noah and saw him glowering at Levi, not even trying to hide his annoyance from across the room.
Or what if I was reading too much into a simple phrase?
“Welp,” Levi said as he set down his paper plate and slapped his hands on his legs. “My job here is done.”
I watched him come to a stand and walk away, apparently not noticing that he’d just blown my mind. Or maybe that was my heart that felt like it was bursting into a million pieces.
I didn’t want to hope. If I were being honest, I didn’t want to be disappointed. Because lately every interaction with Noah had been a disappointment, and more often than not it was because I wanted more from him than he was willing to give.
The team took off one by one, and soon it was just Maddie hanging out with Neil and Avery. It seemed that Avery was going to be sticking around to watch Game of Thrones with Neil, and Maddie…well, she was waiting on me.
I saw Noah slip away toward his bedroom and I knew this was my chance. My big opportunity to catch him alone to talk. He disappeared into his bedroom and I knocked, entering when he called out.
We both hovered there awkwardly for a moment. He looked shocked to see me, but then again this had been my room too all week. More my room than his since I was the one sleeping here. He looked from me to my bag, which was packed and zipped and ready to be snatched up as soon as I got this over with.
It would be easy, I told myself. Like ripping off a Band-Aid.
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Are you going somewhere?”
I nodded. “Actually, yeah.” I had to clear my throat because I sounded so funny. Hoarse and choked like the words didn’t want to come out.
Oh, for the love of all that was holy, I needed some courage and I needed it in a big way.
I forced myself to meet his gaze as I drew in a deep breath. “I’m going to stay with Maddie until the tournament is over.”
He stared at me, his eyes narrowing a bit in suspicion. “I thought there wasn’t room for you at Maddie’s.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, well...” The truth was, there wasn’t a lot of room for me there. But even if I had to sleep in the bathtub, I could guarantee I’d be more comfortable there than I was here, with one of my oldest friends.
There was nothing even remotely comfortable about this arrangement. I’d been walking on eggshells all week, constantly torn between wanting to see him and being terrified of what I’d say or do if I were alone with him.
Living with a guy I liked who didn’t like me back was like having a glimpse of heaven while being stuck in purgatory.
It was one step away from hell.
But I couldn’t say any of that, could I? I risked a glance at his expression. It was stony, his glare intense as ever, and there was no easy, charming grin to be found.
The “Coach Grim” moniker seemed awfully fitting right about now.
“What’s so funny?” he said.
I hadn’t even realized I’d smiled. I shook my head. There was no way I would rat out Levi or his stupid nickname. “It’s nothing, just…” I moved over to pick up my bag. “Thanks for letting me stay. I really appreciate it.”
He took a step toward the bed just as I did. “Here, let me get that for you.”
His politeness and my rush to get out of there led to us bumping into one another as we both reached for my bag. By the way we sprang apart you’d have thought that we’d both been electrocuted.
We stared at one another, any chance of us ignoring this weirdness between us evaporating with every passing second of silence. Our breathing was the only sound in the room and I couldn’t tear my gaze away from his. The way he was watching me, that look in his eyes that I’d never seen before…
I didn’t know what to make of it.
I didn’t want to be wrong.
It looked like…yearning. But for what? For me or for our friendship? I let out a loud exhale that broke through some of the tension between us. “I can’t do this anymore.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “I know.”
I was glad he didn’t try to play dumb, but it didn’t help anything either. “What’s going on here?” I asked.
He took a step forward and I was pretty sure he somehow managed to swallow up all of the oxygen in the air with his proximity. His eyes were heavy-lidded and his nostrils flared as I moved toward him as well.
I couldn’t not. That’s how it felt, at least. Like that gravitational pull was back between us and I was at its mercy.
My mouth went dry with nerves, but I forced myself to meet his gaze. I almost lost my courage, but with a shaky voice, I asked the question that could ruin our friendship or bring us so much closer together. “Do you like me?”
<
br /> I heard his inhale and his eyes grew hooded, making it difficult to read any emotions there. “Of course I do, Callie. I told you, I could never hate—”
“That’s not what I meant.” My tone came out sharper than intended. I had a feeling he knew exactly what I meant and was trying to avoid the question just like I was almost certain he’d carefully chosen his wording the other day when he’d made it seem like he was saying he loved me like a kid sister, when he’d never really said that at all.
He didn’t answer. I watched his jaw work, as though words were coming and he was silencing himself. That non-answer made my belly tighten with nervous anticipation and it set that dangerous hope blazing again, threatening to burn me alive if I was wrong. “What I meant was, do you like me as more than a friend?”
His gaze met mine and I forgot to breathe. Then he moved and I was in his arms, his mouth crushing mine in a kiss that made my mind stutter to a stop and my heart ricochet off my chest.
His breath was ragged and his lips firm as he kissed me like I hadn’t known I could be kissed. I hadn’t known any guy could feel so passionately about me. Me. Callie Cooper, the tomboy. Every guy’s best buddy.
But this kiss…oh hell, this kiss. It was hot and hungry, his mouth moving over mine insistently, parting my lips so he could tease me with his tongue.
I gasped and felt him tense, his body going rigid. He would stop. I knew he would stop if I gave him any sign that I was uncertain about this.
But then I moved, my response automatic and instinctual as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. At that encouragement he groaned, tugging me against him and slanting his mouth over mine to deepen the kiss into something so hot and heavy, I forgot how to breathe.
Unlike that last kiss, nothing about this one was sweet or tender. Nothing about it could be confused as a friend overwhelmed with relief after a car crash.
No, this was passion. This was filled with heat and emotion, and it wasn’t even remotely friendly.
And I couldn’t get enough.
I kissed him back just as fiercely, taking and claiming just as he did. My fingers clutched at the corded muscles along his shoulders as one of his arms tightened around my waist and the other slipped up beneath my low ponytail and into the hair at the nape of my neck, holding me to him like he might never let me go.
But then he did. He pulled back, his breathing labored and mingling with my gasps for air.
“No.” Embarrassingly enough that was me and it came out as a whimper of despair. “Don’t stop.”
God help me, one epic kiss and I was thoroughly wanton. I’d never felt so needy for anything before, but now that I knew what his kisses tasted like, I knew without a doubt that I would never get enough.
He dropped his forehead to mine, his grip never loosening even as he said, “I shouldn’t be doing this.”
I took a deep breath, trying to focus on his words and not the way my heart felt like I’d run a sprint. “What? Why?”
He pulled back slightly and his gaze met mine. Oh holy cow. There was smoldering and then there was incinerating a girl to ashes with a single look. Noah’s gaze? It was the latter.
“Why?” he repeated, a huff of humorless laughter in his tone. “You’re too young.”
I blinked up at him. He couldn’t be serious. “I’ll be eighteen in three months.”
He shook his head. “That’s not the point. You’re still in high school.”
I frowned up at him. I had a feeling this argument wasn’t with me. He didn’t seem to be waiting for a response because he was battling himself. “You’re Eric’s sister,” he said.
“What does that have to do with anything?”
That got his attention, at least. His gaze met mine and I drew in a sharp inhale at the pained look I saw there. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
The words came out ragged, like they’d been pulled from somewhere deep inside him. He tried to pull back further but I tightened my grip on his neck, holding on tight. This was Noah, the guy who’d taught me everything he knew about baseball, the guy who’d stood up for me to everyone on the field, including my own brother when he was being a jerk. This was the guy who’d always protected me and looked out for me, who’d always had my back.
“You won’t,” I said simply. “You won’t hurt me. You couldn’t.”
He winced as if it pained him to hear me say that. “You don’t know that, Callie. I’ve never been good with relationships in the past. I’ve never known how to let anyone—”
I kissed him. I pressed my lips to his with desperation, mainly because I needed him to know that I wanted this. I wanted him. But also because I didn’t want to hear about all the girls he’d dated. I didn’t want to think about the fact that he had a world of experience with dating and kissing and maybe even more than kissing and—
And I was being a coward.
I pulled back and met his gaze head on. I couldn’t go into this with my eyes shut because I didn’t want to face reality, and I refused to go one moment longer with unspoken questions between us. “This thing between us,” I said slowly. “Is it like every other relationship you’ve had in the past? Do you feel about me the way you did about—”
“No!” His response was so quick and so adamant, I had no doubt it was the truth. “I’ve never felt like this before.”
I watched him swallow, my belly clenching and my heart expanding as he licked his lips and met my gaze with an earnest intensity that was so very Noah. “Callie Cooper, I swear I have never felt this way about anyone before.”
That was it. That was the moment I lost my heart for good. “I believe you.” I couldn’t stop my tremulous smile because as much as we still had to figure out, my heart was leaping wildly for joy.
He liked me. He really liked me!
“But that doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing,” he said.
“Neither do I,” I said with a helpless shrug.
When he opened his mouth to protest, I arched a brow in challenge. “Noah, I’d never even kissed a guy before you. I think it’s safe to say I’m more clueless than you are.”
He sighed, a reluctant smile tugging at his lips. “Yes, but that’s exactly my point. You’re innocent.”
“Maybe,” I said. I couldn’t argue the fact that he had more experience than I did with romance, but I couldn’t see how that was such a bad thing. “But just because I didn’t make a sport out of hooking up with guys doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m feeling.”
I’d meant to tease a smile out of him, but I knew I’d made a critical error as soon as his brows lowered and he drew in a deep fortifying breath.
“I was kidding,” I said.
But he wasn’t listening. “You deserve better, Cal. We both know that.”
That made me frown, and I felt a surge of protective anger on his behalf. “Better than what? Better than one of my closest friends? Better than a guy who’s always treated me with respect and supported my dreams?”
“That’s exactly it, Callie,” he said, his tone filled with urgency, like he was willing me to understand. “If we acted on this, it would change things. It would change…everything.”
I blinked in surprise as I felt the absolute truth of what he’d said.
He was right. This—whatever this was—if we acknowledged it, if we acted on it…
Nothing would ever be the same.
I nodded slowly and forced my gaze up to meet his. “That’s true. And it’s terrifying, but…” I licked my lips and his hands clenched in the material of my jersey, like he was physically stopping himself from kissing me.
“But I think maybe things have already changed between us,” I finished. “I don’t know if I could go back to being friends even if we wanted to. Something is different between us, and there’s no point in denying it.”
I drew in a deep breath and wrapped my arms tighter around his neck. “We either need to move forward or…” I swallowed the thick lump in my throat a
t having to say it aloud. “Or we need to say goodbye.”
His gaze met mine and my heart stopped beating. My breath caught in my throat at the intensity of his emotions. “I can’t say goodbye to you, Callie Cooper.”
Tears filled my eyes as relief swept through me and I shook my head. “I can’t say goodbye either, Noah Mason.”
He leaned down to give me a fierce kiss as if he couldn’t deny himself any longer. “So I guess this means…” He trailed off and swallowed thickly.
I let out a breath that was part laughter and part sigh of relief as I finished his thought. “I guess this means we’re moving forward.” I met his gaze head on. “Together.”
I saw the moment he realized that I was right. It was like he’d won the world series and lost his lucky jersey all at the same time. He was ecstatic and resigned, worried and triumphant.
I knew all that not just because I saw it in his eyes, but because I felt it too. My heart was pounding wildly with excitement and tenderness and sweet, overwhelming affection for this guy. But there was a part of me that wanted to run scared in the face of all that would change…and all that would be lost if this didn’t work out between us.
But really, there was no other choice.
His eyes searched my face and whatever he saw there made him groan. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to mine once more, dropping the sweetest and gentlest of kisses on my lips. “I promise I’ll do my best not to hurt you.”
I smiled. “And I’ll do my best not to hurt you too.”
Even as I said it I felt a flicker of guilt, but I shoved it to the side. We hadn’t spoken all week. Well, we had but not about anything but softball, the tournament, the team. I hadn’t told him yet about the fact that Coach Everly had convinced the recruiter from Florida to watch the game.
I’d never in my life doubted my plan to follow softball as far as it would take me…until right this very moment when Noah’s gaze burned into me full of promise. Full of a future.
But my future was so in flux. I had no idea where I was going or where I’d be. I couldn’t make promises. How could I? I could end up hurting him just as much as he could end up hurting me.
The Perfect Catch (Kissing the Enemy Book 1) Page 12