I hope it lasts.
Like there was a high probability it wouldn’t. And like, maybe Hop was fooling himself.
I hope it lasts.
Ansel nailed Hop’s secret fear and desire with four little words. The problem was, it wouldn’t last.
This fling with Rafe would only ever be casual. Except there was nothing casual about the way his heart beat as he pulled on his shiny heels. Nothing casual about the thundering of his pulse as he left the dressing room and made his way through the crowded club. Absolutely nothing casual about the excitement that had his fingers trembling when he finally knocked on Rafe’s office door.
Now things were different.
Every moment in Rafe’s company, under his control, gave Hop a strength he’d never find anywhere else.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Rafe thought about the tie he’d received that morning with Hop’s come staining the silk and smiled. Perverted? Maybe, but his kink reached new heights since he’d started playing with Hop. Something about his sugarcoated gender-bending pet inspired Rafe’s darker side. This past week, he’d dreamed of a dozen different scenarios—and jerked off to all of them, because...fuck.
The tie covered with Hop’s come was Rafe’s reward for showing restraint.
It’d sucked nails having to wait but he had a club to run. As much as he wanted to spend every night devouring Hop in as many ways as his deviant mind could conjure, he couldn’t justify taking that much time away from work.
They had a huge party to plan, bills to pay, permits to renew, and vendors to contact. Rafe needed to be a hundred steps ahead of his competition if he wanted his plan to go off like clockwork. Any moment, he expected a wrench to be thrown. The longer it took them to sign, the likelier it was for information to be leaked. To some, that constant and persistent caution might seem like paranoia.
To Rafe it was just good business sense.
He knew who his opponent was, not the mask shown to the world—the real, manipulative man who had turned what was supposed to be a generous gift into a leash so tight it choked.
For these reasons, he should be in a permanent state of work-delirium. Except now he had something—someone—more, what? Interesting?
Or, important?
Maybe both. Rafe wouldn’t label his feelings. All he knew was that Hop demanded attention and Rafe was powerless against such need.
As much as he tried to keep it together, the reality was he’d been preoccupied enough that people were starting to notice, most notably Mark. Add that to the list of things he didn’t give a shit about at the moment.
Hop was at the door, nothing else would penetrate his mind. Not when something so sweet and enticing waited for him. Finally, his night could begin.
Rafe didn’t stay behind his desk this time. He was too impatient to get started. Hop seemed surprised when Rafe opened the door. He made this adorable “Oh” face.
“Hi,” Rafe said, his eyes already feasting on the sight of Hop covered in sparkles like ice cream topped with rainbow sprinkles.
Rafe had always loved sprinkles as a kid.
Shades of flashy metallic from head to toe, Hop could be mistaken for a life-size holographic Barbie—if Barbie was an R-rated gay fantasy come to life. He wore a pair of rainbow fish-scale leggings and an oversize cropped sweatshirt with Mermaid painted on it. The way it hung off his shoulders revealed the place Rafe had left his mark days ago. If he looked closely he could still make out a faint trace.
Best of all, on Hop’s feet were the heels Rafe had spent two precious hours shopping for on Wednesday and a good chunk of his savings. But the sacrifices were totally worth it.
“Uh, hi,” Hop said, blinking at him with lashes that went on for an eternity.
Rafe tugged him inside and pressed him against the wall, shutting the door with his foot. “You look so sweet I could eat you right here.” He zeroed in on Hop’s lips, so plump and glossy, like a ripe strawberry waiting to be bitten. He leaned in but stopped a breath away.
Fuck, Hop’s rules.
No kissing.
He backed away and drew his thumb over that mouth instead. Hop’s eyelids fluttered open to reveal blue pools brimming with disappointment.
“Sorry, pet, you tempt me into forgetfulness.” Rafe tucked Hop’s hair behind his ear. “Grab a drink. I have a few things to wrap up before we go.” He stepped away, but Hop grabbed his wrist.
“Rafe...” Quiet, tentative, and a little bit needy. No one would believe that voice came from the same guy who’d stood on stage hours before, the image of a rock god, all confidence and swagger.
The difference hit Rafe right in the chest and left him reeling with the weight of so much trust.
“What is it?”
“Please,” Hop said. His grip tightened and eyes begged.
Rafe closed the distance between them so his chest brushed against Hop’s and caged him in. In those wickedly high heels, Hop was only a few inches shorter. “Please, what?”
Those gorgeous sapphire eyes glittered up at him rimmed with black and shimmering with golden eye shadow. “Please kiss me, sir.” He sounded like a dam had broken somewhere deep inside.
Yes. Second rule down, two more to go. Rafe cupped Hop’s jaw with both hands and shattered another level of distance between them. He didn’t want to think too hard about why it made him want to victory-shout from the roof of the MoMA Tower. It was just a kiss.
A supremely stellar, brain-melting kiss.
This time he wanted to absorb every second of it, so he took his time exploring Hop’s lips with gentle presses of his own and delicate nips to inspire those addicting little gasps. Blood rushed to his cock, of course, but he ignored the instinct to plunder. He rarely enjoyed the simple act of kissing, it was too intimate, but this was more. The relief that flooded him at breaking boundaries, at tasting Hop again, hit him hard.
It felt like when he came home after an endless day at work, like those nights when no problems needed his attention and nothing was on his mind, like knowing he was exactly where he was supposed to be.
Maybe that’s why, when Hop swept his tongue against Rafe’s lips, Rafe didn’t try to take control like he would’ve normally. In that moment, they weren’t a Dom with his sub. They were partners learning each other. He opened under Hop’s experimental probing and deepened the kiss. A blast of strawberries had him groaning and chasing it down, twisting his tongue around Hop’s. It was slow and soft and sensual.
And still, it was hot as fuck.
Rafe combed his fingers through the silky hair at Hop’s temples and curled them into fists. He stepped into Hop’s space, pushing him against the wall and grinding his cock against the twin in Hop’s pants. The delicious, unhurried unity of it was as potent as a drug, but even if Rafe had ever been reckless enough to experiment, he couldn’t have experienced a high this stimulating.
Hop’s keening moans grew louder and louder. His fingers flexed continuously on Rafe’s shoulders, as if he couldn’t make up his mind whether he wanted to hold on or let go. Maybe it was his dual sides at war with each other, one scared to trust and the other desperately seeking a worthy master.
Something snapped in Rafe’s mind, with the fists tangled in Hop’s hair, he pulled until Hop’s head tipped up. One bite to Hop’s bottom lip stilled all movement.
“That’s a good pet,” Rafe said. Hop’s entire body quaked, as if the weight of the world had been on his shoulders and with those four easy words, Rafe had lifted it away. “Grab that drink. I’ll be ready in a minute.”
“You have lip gloss.” Hop reached up and wiped a thumb over Rafe’s mouth.
Rafe smiled at him and did the same. “It’s smeared all over you too.”
“I guess that’s the last time I’ll be wearing it.”
“You have no idea how hot that makes me.” Raf
e pressed another kiss to Hop’s lips, fuck the lipstick. He’d wear Hop’s colors with pride.
“You’re weird.” Breathless. Pleased.
“The weirdest.” Dipping his head to Hop’s shoulder to find his previous mark, Rafe licked.
* * *
Hop’s head fell to the side to allow Rafe’s tongue better access. When Rafe’s teeth grazed his skin in the same spot as before, Hop’s heart rolled right over—it went belly up with tongue wagging like a happy puppy getting some love.
Rafe groaned. “Shit, I lose my head whenever you’re around.” He stepped back, leaving Hop reeling from both his words and the utter desire in his tone.
It took him a minute to regain his wits. By the time he did, Rafe was on the other side of the room, behind his desk, looking exactly like the untouchable businessman he was.
Fuck, he was amazing. Had Hop ever truly acknowledged that before? In another life, Rafe might have been the inspiration for some Roman artist sculpting mythical gods. These days he was the king of a universe he’d built with his own brilliance. He wore suits every day and didn’t hesitate to use one of his silk ties as an impromptu cock-cage and come-rag.
“Keep looking at me like that, pet, and we won’t make it back to my place.”
Shit, that deep voice did wonderful things. “I wouldn’t mind.”
Rafe’s dark gaze flicked up, a corner of his mouth curved. “Next time. Tonight, I want you in my bed.”
That sounded good too. Rafe went back to work while Hop wandered the office. He hadn’t spent much time looking around during his previous visits, but now he took in the ultra-modern decorations. All the chrome and glass made the industrial room look expensive. He crossed to the bar and poured himself a vodka and soda. The first sip burned his throat in the best way possible.
As promised, Rafe was done soon after. Hop finished his drink and followed him out. He had the crazy urge to slip his hand into Rafe’s as they walked side-by-side down the stairs, but he didn’t. Something about the innocent act felt heavy with meaning.
“Want to leave first?” Rafe asked while they were still in the eerie darkness of the hall.
“Why?”
“If we go out together, we’ll probably draw attention. Don’t you think?”
He should care if they were seen together. Broadcasting their relationship was risky and stupid. Rafe was used to keeping his sex life private. Why should he treat Hop any different when Hop had specifically asked that no one know about them?
“Yeah, okay. Meet you outside.” The VIP section was crowded and it took him ages to push through and descend the rest of the way. He grabbed his gear and then left the club through the emergency exit. The whole time, self-disgust slithered through his guts.
Being Rafe’s dirty little secret felt cheap.
The fact that it was his fault didn’t matter. Feelings didn’t thrive on logic. Thinking Rafe would want to keep their relationship private tumbled around Hop’s stomach like fizzy bombs.
He’d been in this situation so many times it felt like an old T-shirt that no longer fit. It was snug and familiar but cut off the circulation in his arms. Hop had outgrown being the sidepiece. He was done being unseen and unheard. Wasn’t he?
Hadn’t he gained a bit more self-confidence? He thought he had, but maybe he’d been fooling himself.
He wanted to change. He wanted to believe he deserved more, but he had no idea how to get out of a situation he’d created with his own foolishness. He couldn’t bring himself to give up what Rafe provided.
But he couldn’t trust Rafe with more.
He couldn’t trust him with his heart, no matter how much he wanted to.
Getting in any deeper would be the biggest mistake he’d ever made—disastrous, especially to his fragile pride.
But when Rafe stalked around the corner, snowflakes around his crown lit by street lamps like a halo and a wicked smile stretching his cheeks, Hop’s mind went blank.
Fuck.
There was no saving himself from heartache, because he was already lost.
Chapter Thirty
“Get your cock out,” Rafe ordered as he pulled into traffic. There were more cars on the road than usual because of an event nearby. Good. The extra risk would give them both a thrill.
“Rafe.” There was hesitation in Hop’s voice that hadn’t been there in weeks.
Rafe glanced over and found Hop staring out the window with big eyes. Not three feet away, another car was stopped at the light.
“Don’t make me repeat myself, pet.”
With fumbling fingers still wrapped in thick knit gloves, Hop tugged his tight leggings down. So eager, it was cute as fucking hell. The light turned green and they rolled along. Rafe reached over and found a hot, hard cock. It twitched as soon as he wrapped his fingers around it.
Hop moaned and he humped up into Rafe’s grip.
“Don’t move. This is for me, not you.”
“Yes, sir.” It must have taken massive effort to hold himself immobile while Rafe stroked his length, but Hop did it for him. Once again, Rafe was touched by Hop’s courage and his generosity.
“Are you cold?” Rafe turned the heater to full blast.
“I’m fine.”
A quick glance showed Hop’s eyes were closed and his head rested on the back of the seat.
“Open your eyes. I want you to know what a show you’re putting on. Look how close they are, all they have to do is turn their head and they’ll see you getting a hand job in my car because you can’t wait until you get home. You’re a little slut, aren’t you?”
The groaned reply seemed ripped from Hop’s depths. “I am.”
“You’re my beautiful slut.”
“Only yours.”
Rafe’s fist tightened around Hop’s cock reflexively. “Very good.”
They came to a stop at another light. Rafe looked over and found Hop gaping at the driver of the next car, eye to wide eye. The guy couldn’t see below the window, but he must have recognized the mixture of embarrassment and lust on Hop’s easy-to-read face, because he lifted an eyebrow and gave Rafe a nod. Then he looked down, said something, and a woman lifted her head from his lap. Her lips were puffy and her eyes were huge.
“Must be a full moon.”
“Fuck.” Hop clawed Rafe’s forearm as a surge of precome seeped from his slit. If he’d needed more proof of Hop’s exhibitionist bent, that would have been it.
The light changed and Rafe turned at the next intersection.
“Next time you’ll blow me and I’ll make you look into the face of every driver we pass so they can see how well you serve.”
“Rafe, I’m gonna—”
Rafe shoved his hand between Hop’s thighs and grabbed his balls. “You better not.”
Hop slammed his head back into the headrest, his jaw tightened, and his gaze shifted to Rafe’s. Whatever he found there must have been enough, because his panicked panting quieted and his body slowly relaxed.
Damn amazing. Rafe knew for a fact that he wouldn’t have been able to hold back if he’d been so close. It took restraint and practice. Most of all, a will of iron so strong your mind could overpower the body’s natural urges.
“Do you edge?” The idea of Hop spending hours riding the crest of pleasure would definitely be his next spank-bank fantasy.
“Sometimes.”
Yeah, Rafe figured. He’d be using this new information during future play, for sure. After that, Rafe continued stroking Hop’s length, but it was lazy and not meant to arouse. He simply enjoyed the feel of Hop in his hand; the weight and thickness of his cock was the best anti-stress device available. Even with the extra traffic, it didn’t take more than thirty minutes to arrive at his apartment building. The underground parking garage was deserted as he pulled into his reserved spot.
&n
bsp; “I wish I could have you walk through the building like that,” Rafe said, adjusting himself and studying Hop. “But that would be public indecency, and spending a night behind bars would ruin my plans. So you’d better cover up, for now.”
Like waking from a dream, Hop nodded. His movements were jerky, not his usual grace. Rafe had to help him out of the car because he was so unsteady he seemed drunk. Why Rafe gloried in that, he couldn’t say, but it made him walk with his chest puffed out.
Luckily, no one was in the elevator with them and they made it into Rafe’s apartment quickly. His patience was running low. He locked the door behind them and turned to kiss Hop.
He combed his fingers through Hop’s hair, over his shoulders, down his back to take Hop’s ass cheeks in his palms. Right there in his entryway, without any lights on, he spent long minutes grinding their cocks together and feasting on Hop’s mouth. When the contact wasn’t enough, he picked Hop up. Hop’s legs automatically circled his waist. The new position brought their erections side-by-side. He hadn’t come from an over-the-clothes frot since he was a newbie Dom, but he was close to doing so now.
“Why are you so fucking delicious?” Rafe asked between kisses.
“Lots of vitamin C and regular yoga.” Aroused and half-delirious, Hop was still sassy.
Rafe rested his forehead on Hop’s shoulder, laughing. “Vitamin C, huh?”
“Mmm, fruits are good for the complexion. Plus, they make your come sweeter.”
“Yours is definitely on the sweet side.”
“Fruit, it does a body good.”
Still laughing, Rafe carried Hop into his bedroom. Shadows played over every surface, the only light coming from the large windows.
“You should be the new marketing director for the department of health,” Rafe said, lowering Hop to the mattress.
“I would, but I already have three jobs.”
Rafe kissed and sucked Hop’s neck and jaw. “Three?”
Legs still wrapped around Rafe, Hop dug his heels into the backs of Rafe’s thighs. He hummed in agreement, clearly more focused on the pleasure than the conversation.
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