by Snow, Jenika
“You play beautifully, Helina.”
She stopped crying and looked up to see Ryce leaning against the door frame. He still had his tux on, the first few top buttons undone on his crisp white shirt. She wiped her face and sat up straighter, a slight twinge of embarrassment flooding her. “Thank you.” There was a beat of silence and she cleared her throat. “To be honest, I’m pretty tired. Could you just take me back to the cabin?”
He pushed off the frame and walked toward her. He ran his fingers along the smooth top of the baby grand. “I can’t take you back there.”
She looked at him, not even shock resonating inside of her. Her mind was blank, her emotion stunted because of the deep, dark hole in her heart. “Why?”
“It really isn’t safe there anymore. Someone might want to take it upon themselves to dispose of you.”
“It really doesn’t matter anymore, Ryce. I have nothing left. My sister is dead and Gaijryc wants nothing to do with me.” She noticed how Ryce flinched.
“You know he didn’t mean any of those things he said.”
“It doesn’t matter if he meant them or not, Ryce. They were said and his intentions were clear. He only loved me for those stolen moments we had. It’s clear he doesn’t want me.” She shrugged and stood. “So where am I?” She walked away from the piano and sat on the leather couch, wanting nothing more than to get out of the dress she wore. Ryce walked over to the piano and sat down. He looked down at the keys for so long she wondered what he was thinking. He started to play a soft song, the music sounding tragic and beautiful.
When the song was done, he sat there in silence and turned his gaze to her. “That was beautiful. Who is the composer?”
He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I am.” He didn’t say it arrogantly, but more like his heart had been ripped from his chest. “I wrote it for someone a long time ago, someone who was very special to me.”
They stared at each other and Helina wanted to comfort him as he was doing to her. “Would you like to talk about it?” She didn’t elaborate on what she meant. It was clear from his expression that he knew.
He looked so torn, so hurt just thinking about it. She didn’t think anyone had ever given him the time to talk about his problems, to let go of the pain he was harboring inside. She pushed her pain aside, knowing that if one good thing could come out of it, it would be getting rid of past demons Ryce harbored. He looked at her and sighed.
“I have only spoken about this one other time.”
She smiled at him and urged him to open up to her.
“I loved a human once. She was the most important thing to me. Everything I did, I did it to please her, to let her know how much she meant to me. She had started out being a pet, a human female that I had wanted—wanted to drink from and wanted to fuck.” He stopped and looked at her, as if his crudeness had somehow offended her. She ushered him to continue. “I grew to love her, so very much. She was so gentle, so feminine. I wanted to mate her, wanted her to walk by my side for the rest of our lives. She ended up becoming pregnant. It was the happiest day of my existence. The thing is, though—” He took another deep breath and stood. “It is forbidden to mate a human. It is a death sentence if one has a child from us. It has been that way for as long as I have been living and I have never disputed the old ways. I had planned on running with her, planned on turning her before we found out she was pregnant, but it is far too dangerous changing her while she was carrying my child.”
He stopped talking and looked out the window at the dark world before him. Helina could see his reflection, could see his glossy eyes and knew what was coming next was the tragedy. “Come over here, Ryce.” She patted the seat next to her and watched as surprise flickered in his features. She patted the seat again and waited for him to sit. When he finally did, she turned in her seat, showing him that her full attention was on him.
“I went away on a mission, the last mission I was going to attend because we planned on leaving. When I returned, I went straight to our room, ready to leave right then and there. I smelled the blood before I even reached the landing. The bed had been covered in blood, so much that I actually became sick. The room smelled of her, smelled of her sweet lavender scent, but was now void of the life she once held.”
He didn’t say anything else and Helina could see the struggle inside of him. She moved closer to him, could see his fists clenched and his jaw tight. “Oh, Ryce, I’m so very sorry.” She laid her hand on his thigh, the muscle beneath strong and unyielding. He looked up at her. There were so many emotions raging war inside of him. “What happened after that?”
He took a long, steadying breath. “They had prepared her body for burial while I was away, kept her in a gold casket and stored it in the sanctuary until my return. The king and queen didn’t want to show me the body, said it was beyond recognition. She had worn the red silk gown I had given her before my departure. White satin had covered her face. I wanted to see her lovely face, but I didn’t have the strength to pull it away. Her blond curls were just as I had remembered, so soft and vibrant even though her heart no longer beat.”
Helina covered her mouth, sorrow and shock coursing through her. “Who did it?” He looked over at her, his eyes blank and lifeless.
“I don’t know.”
Tears flowed down her cheeks and her own problems were temporarily pushed to the side. She stared at him, his face hard and cold, his eyes unfocused as he was no doubt remembering his past. She placed her hand over his much larger one, hoping to convey what strength she had left. He looked at her hand, his eyebrows knitted together. He lifted his head and stared at her.
“Gaijryc is an idiot for letting you go. You truly are a treasure.”
“I truly am sorry for your loss, Ryce. I can see how much you loved her. What was her name?”
“Seaunna.” His voice was strained, slightly crackling as he said her name.
She gave his hand a squeeze, her heart aching for his loss. Removing her hand, she looked down at the evening gown she still wore. “You wouldn’t happen to have something else for me to wear, would you? This dress is making me feel uncomfortable, and to be honest, I would really just like to go to sleep.”
Helina followed Ryce up the stairs, her heels clicking against the hardwood. When they reached the landing, he walked to a closed door right in front of them. He opened the door and turned on the light. Helina followed him inside, her eyes taking in every delicate piece of lace and silk that adorned the room. “Is this your room?” She looked at him, her face completely serious. He stared at her, shock reflecting on his features before a smile crossed it. He cleared his throat before stepping out of the room. He came back a moment later with a shirt draped over his arm.
“I’m sorry I don’t have a proper nightgown for you to wear.” He held out the shirt. “This is the only thing I could find.” When she took it he turned to leave. He stopped right before he stepped into the hallway and turned back around. “You aren’t hungry, are you?”
“No, thank you.”
“Okay. I’ll be right next door if you need anything.”
He left the room and shut the door on his way out. Helina stared at the closed door for several moments. Stripping out of the dress, she tossed it over a nearby chair and slipped on the shirt. The shirt was clearly one of Ryce’s, the white cotton falling well past her knees and the sleeves reaching her forearms. She made her way toward the massive yet feminine bed and pulled the blue silk comforter. The sheets were cool and smooth, like butter soft satin. Goosebumps popped along her flesh. Turning the bedside lamp off, she balled herself up, throwing the comforter over her head and immersing herself in total darkness. She was too tried to cry, too tired to do much of anything. All she wanted to do was slip into the dream world where nothing was real and where nothing could touch her.
Desperation
Ryce sat on the edge of his bed, his elbows on his knees, his shoulders slumped forward. He hadn’t realized how much it would hurt
to talk about Seaunna. He could hear Helina’s small heartbeat through the walls and her slow and steady breathing as she drifted off to sleep. He saw Seaunna when he looked at Helina, saw a small and vulnerable human that had once been his love. Helina’s very essence, her very aura reminded him of what he no longer had. He thought about Helina’s sister, about what he done to her. He should have told her the truth, should have told Helina what was really going on, but he couldn’t; he had promised.
He stared at the bare, cream colored wall and scrubbed a hand over his face. He stood and stripped out of his clothes and slipped into his bed naked. He let the darkness envelop him and wash away the memories of his former life.
Gaijryc woke the next morning on the cold, hard ground. He groaned as he pulled himself up, the smell of spilt liquor making his stomach turn in distaste. He scrubbed a hand over his mouth, the stubble on his cheeks scratching against his palms. He stumbled into the bathroom and blindly turned on the shower. His mind was fuzzy, the night before seeming hazy and unfocused. He stood in front of the mirror naked, his face seeming haggard and old. His head pounded and as hard as he tried, he couldn’t recall how he’d ended up on the floor of his bedroom, or even what went on before that. All he could remember was the ball. That awful, soul-killing ball.
He stepped into the spray of water, the droplets so hot they seemed to sizzle on his skin. He closed his eyes and let them slide down his back. He wished the pain would stop, wished the water would wash it away. He braced his hands on the tile in front of him, trying to remember what had happened. As the steam started to clear his mind, he kept seeing Helina’s face—his sweet Helina. His eyes snapped open, all those memories of the night before crashing through his brain, making his head hurt even more. He balled his fists up, all the anger he’d contained the night before gone.
He turned from the spray and slammed his fist into the tile in front of him, the stone crumbling and falling to the ground. He looked down at his knuckles, the water washing the blood away and turning pink. The wounds knitted themselves back together and he slammed his knuckles into the wall again. He watched his cuts again, the skin pulling together and becoming perfect. His anger was so monumental, his pain so great, all he wanted to do was roar to the heavens. He didn’t want the physical pain to leave. He wanted his body to hurt as much as his soul did. He wanted the inside to match the outside, wanted to know that what he was feeling was real.
He turned off the water and stepped out, drying off and slipping on a pair of loose fitting jeans and a button down shirt. He walked out of the bathroom, surprised to see a silver tray lying on his bed with an assortment of fruits, breads, and cheeses. A tall crystal glass stood next to the food, the bright colored orange juice making his stomach heave. A light tap sounded on the door and he wasn’t surprised to see Iena standing on the other side. “What?” He growled the word and started pacing.
She popped out her bottom lip in mock sadness and pushed her way through. She wore black leather boots that went mid-thigh, the lacing strung taut on the sides. Her black leather dress was skin tight, the hem not even touching the tops of the boots.
“I just wanted to say good morning to my future husband.”
“I could still choose another.” Of course he did not have that option, not if he wanted to protect Helina, but the very idea of getting under Iena’s skin was too much of a temptation to resist.
She turned around, her expression seeming like the very devil possessed her. “Listen here, Gaijryc. I could have killed your little slut last night, but instead, I chose to show mercy. It would do you well to watch what you say to me. Your mother wouldn’t like it very much if she were to find out her eldest was fornicating with a lowly human, or worse, having the desire to actually mate her.”
Gaijryc had his hand around her throat in the next second. Her body dangled from his grip as he pinned her against the wall. “No, you will listen to me. I may be forced to mate you for the protection of the one I truly love. I may be forced to spend the rest of eternity with you, but if I ever hear you say anything like that about her again, I won’t hesitate to skin you alive. Do you understand me?” He enunciated the last part, making sure she was fully aware of who was in charge.
“You know I like it rough, Gaijryc.” She speared her fingers through his hair and wrapped her legs around his waist before he could even blink. Before he could push her away, her mouth was on his and her tongue was speared through his lips. He tossed her away, her body flopping on the bed like a rag doll. She looked up at him, her red hair disheveled and her eyes dropping with arousal. She started to laugh, the sound making him want to rip her tongue out of her mouth. She walked toward him and whispered against his ear. “Mmm… You taste good, baby. I can’t wait until the night we are mated.” She slid off the bed, her dress riding up the rest of the way and showing off her bare pussy. He knew she did it on purpose, but the sight only repulsed him. “I will fuck you so hard you’ll forget about your little human.” Her hand slid along his chest as she made her way toward the door. “Oh and by the way, we are having the mating ceremony tonight. I talked with your mother and she didn’t see any reason to wait. Of course, we ran it by the king and he saw no problems with it as well. See you tonight, baby.”
Gaijryc kept his back to her and heard the soft click of the door closing. He gritted his teeth in rage. He couldn’t say he was surprised that they had made the mating ceremony so soon. He knew his mother and father wanted him mated and producing offspring as quickly as possible. He walked to the window and stared out at the green fields. He saw the servants below, some trimming shapes out of the bushes, some cutting roses for the dining room. He looked to the side and saw the modest-sized house that Ryce lived in. It had been a servants’ quarter at one time, but when his mother had taken over the mansion, she had wanted the servants living in the mansion so they were available for her beck and call.
He could see Ryce moving around in the front of the house, picking flowers and placing them in a vase. Gaijryc knitted his eyebrows in confusion at why Ryce would need to pick flowers. He lifted one arm and leaned it against the molding, watching Ryce’s meticulous movements. The front door opening caught his attention and that was when his heart stopped. Out walked Helina, a cup in her hand, a long white tee-shirt the only thing that covered her body. Gaijryc knew just by looking at her that the shirt she wore was Ryce’s. His nails dug into the wood, the pieces splintering beneath his fingers and piercing his skin. He wanted nothing more than to go over there right now to kill Ryce and take Helina. He would have done just that if not for the memories of the night before, if not for the words that replayed in his head over and over again. You were nothing to me… I only fucked you to pass the time… I could never love a human, never will.
He dropped his head in shame. Then he lifted it again and watched as Ryce handed Helina the vase. Her soft smile lit up her face like one of those bloomed flowers.
Helina set her mug down and accepted the flowers, smiling at Ryce. “Thank you. They’re beautiful.” She took the vase and went inside, setting the delicate glass on the table and staring at it. Each bud was dainty in appearance, each silky curve of the flowers seeming to blend together into one smooth strip of velvet. She reached her hand out and ran her finger along one of the soft buds, letting the smoothness of it wash through her. Dropping her arm, she looked down at the shirt she wore. The front door opened and she turned to see Ryce standing in the entryway of the kitchen. His face was cast in shadows as he stared at the flowers.
“Thank you again for the flowers, Ryce.” He still stared at the flowers, but she saw the distant smile that tilted his lips. “I can make us something to eat if you like.” He looked down at his watch and then glanced at the front door. “If you have to go I understand.” He gave her a look of surprise before she heard him swallow.
“I’d like that, thank you.” His voice was gruff.
She cooked them breakfast, a meal of buttermilk pancakes, sausage and eggs. He
told her about how he lived all those years ago, about everything he did and saw. She was fascinated by his experiences, intrigued by his very life. After he left she kept herself busy, hoping to keep her mind off everything that had happened. She knew she couldn’t stay there, knew she had to leave because this wasn’t the place for her. Guilt assaulted her at the thought of leaving without saying goodbye to Ryce, but she knew if she did he would only stop her from leaving.
She didn’t know if she would be able to survive once she left, but knew she had to try. Ryce had told her he wouldn’t be back until well past nightfall, so she had plenty of time to gather what she needed. She stepped onto the back deck and saw nothing but thick pine trees and green grass. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared, but she needed to move on with her life, no matter what the danger or consequence.
For the next several hours Helina gathered non-perishable foods and bottles of water. She was lucky she had found a few pieces of women’s clothing in the closet of the room she had been staying in, even more pleased that they were in her size. Going back to the cabin was definitely not an option, so she took whatever she could find and shoved it in an oversized bag. Glancing at herself in the mirror, she smoothed her hand down the black, long sleeved v-neck shirt she wore. A small red embroidered heart was stitched into the right hand corner of the shirt and she idly ran her finger across it. It seemed so familiar, but for the life of her she couldn’t place where she had seen it. A small wisp of hair fell down from the ponytail and she smoothed it behind her ear.
When the sun was finally starting to set nervousness assaulted her. When the rolling emotions passed, she grabbed her bag and headed for the back of the house. Everything inside of her warned her that what she was doing was a monumental mistake. She chose to ignore that little voice as she stepped off the stairs and walked toward the ominous forest.