by Myles, Eden
He grabbed my hair and tried to push me down, to take his cock in my mouth, but I wasn’t feeling very submissive tonight. I wasn’t feeling submissive at all. What had Simon said? I was being a bossy alpha of late. That might be true, but it was only because I’d learned from the best. Instead, I resisted him, grabbed him by the edges of his open dressing gown and pushed him down to the mattress. I covered him, palmed his cheek, and kissed him anew. I kissed him because I wanted him. I kissed him because I loved him. I kissed him because he was mine, my entire world. His face showed some surprise when I slid my leg over his, pinning him. I applied some pressure and he grunted in pain.
“Sorry,” I said, and reached down to massage his sore knee. “Does it hurt very much?”
“Nothing hurts when I’m with you, Daniel,” he answered, and I smiled and moved my hand up his thigh, clutching him tight, tighter. His eyes widened in surprise when I spread his legs and buried my face in his lower belly, licked the underside of his swollen cock, and then traced my tongue down his crack and started lapping at his ass. He closed his eyes and groaned and writhed as I nibbled and swirled my tongue across his tender opening, and when he was just wet enough, I sank two fingers into him. I thrust in and out and Alexei threw his head back and rocked his hips against my finger fucking.
I took his erection in my mouth, swallowing him down inch by inch while I continued to pump my fingers in and out of him. I sucked hard, grazing his cock with my teeth, and before long he was whimpering and arching against me, his shoulders and the crown of his head pressing deep into the mound of pillows as he gave himself over to the pleasure, and to me. The feel of him moving against me, the vulnerable, animal sounds he made, were intoxicating. I watched him gasp and thrust, lost completely in the pleasure I was bringing him, and soon every part of me began to throb in tandem with him. I groaned as the ecstasy of controlling him, being with him, overwhelmed me.
I pulled my mouth off his slick, spit-encased cock long enough to say, “Do you love me, Alexei?”
“Yes, Daniel,” he answered with surprising calm and tenderness. “I love you.” He reached up and seized me by the back of the neck, dragging me down to kiss me with the trembling power of his need, but I wasn’t finished with him just yet. I pressed his shoulders down, kissed and licked the side of his neck until he moaned. I reached between my legs and stroked myself until I was wet, then I slicked my cock with my own pre-cum and nudged it against him. He resisted me at first, but I held him down. I kissed him until he weakened and gave in, spreading his legs and tilting his pelvis upward a little for me. His sightless eyes found me, but there was something so feral and passionate in them that I felt my breath catch at the sight even as I slammed my meaty, wet cock deep into his ready hole.
His entire body lurched against me, but he closed his eyes at my forced entry and said, “God, yes, Daniel. I love you, Angel moy.”
“I love you too.” I began to move inside of him, slowly at first, but not too gently, and he gasped with each hard upward thrust of my cock. “Come back home with me, Alexei,” I gasped out before I even realized what I was saying. “Be with me at my sister’s wedding.”
He groaned and his entire body arched into my thrust. “Yes, of course,” he answered, and his voice nearly broke with emotion, as if I had offered him the sun, moon and stars.
Satisfied, I coiled my hands around his cock and put everything I had into the fucking I was delivering him. He lurched and writhed. He reached around and gripped my ass, trying to hold me deep inside his body as I slammed into him again and again. All his muscles constricted around me and I thought I would scream from the exquisite pressure pulsing through my cock. Instead, the sounds that came from my throat were more like the low growls of some aroused wild animal, and I found myself crouching entirely over him, his knees by his ears as I brought him to climax fast and hard. He cried out near the end and I leaned down to kiss him as he came hard, his seed spurting between us. Alexei’s orgasm left him trembling inside and out, and I reveled in the feel of him moving beneath me like that, so vulnerable, so utterly lost in our lovemaking.
I pinned his shoulders and growled as I rammed his ass, working myself up to my own climax. It didn’t take long, and within seconds I felt the familiar lurching sensation in my spine and I came with a cry inside him. My climax left me drained but filled with love and lust for him.
He reached up and tugged me down by the hair. “Daniel,” he said breathlessly, flicking his tongue across my lips, “I really must compliment you on your skills. If you keep this up, you may one day be a gentleman yourself.”
“I don’t want to be a gentleman,” I told him honestly. “I’m happy just being your courtier.” To prove my point, I made an effort to clean up our mess by licking his chest and abs clean. I was nearly to his cock, which was already stirring for me, when the door of the bedroom burst open and Kate stepped in, balancing a covered tray for her father on her arm cast.
“Da, I thought you might want lunch…” She stopped and looked at us with deer-in-the-headlights eyes, then turned on her heels like a soldier to deposit the tray on a nearby table. She used her good hand to cover her eyes and said, “Never mind, I’ll come back later. It’s obvious you’re busy.” She rushed for the door, throwing over her shoulder, “If you gents want me, I’ll be downstairs, washing my eyes out with vinegar.”
Alexei snorted.
* * *
As I drove the rental from the airport to my folks’ place, I wished Alexei could see the rolling landscape and Flint Hills passing us by on both sides of the highway. He would have liked those shiny, black, almost prehistoric ridges of rock. He would have found them beautiful to run his hands over. Like most of the Midwest, the landscape was otherwise as flat as a dinner plate, so you could see for miles in every direction, the tiny farms and cattle ranches, the golden patches of prairie grass, and the hard flinty ridges of rock to break everything up. It was April, and unseasonably warm, much too warm to have the windows open, but I had insisted on it anyway so Alexei could at least breathe in the Heartland.
“Will you miss New York?” I asked. “I mean, after you sell the house?”
“No, Daniel,” he told me. “Martha’s Vineyard smells too good.”
I laughed at that. “I’m going to do that one day. I’m going to blindfold myself for a whole day and see if everything smells as good to me as it does to you.”
“If you blindfold yourself, I may take advantage of you.”
“Just don’t take advantage of me at my parents’ house, okay?” I laughed at that too, a little nervously, and, sensing my unease, he reached over and set his hand on my knee reassuringly. He didn’t say anything, but then, he didn’t have to. I knew he was here for me, regardless of what happened this weekend.
It was near suppertime when we finally arrived at my folks’ place, just outside Junction City. It was a huge, rambling old farmhouse, with enough guest rooms for half my family, many of which were staying over for Chloe’s wedding the following afternoon. I felt the butterflies in my stomach swarm when I realized how many cars and pickup trucks were parked in my folks’ long, gravel driveway. It looked like half my family was here.
I got out and helped Alexei navigate to the front door. He wore his glasses and carried his cane, but he was mostly relying on me to guide him in this new and unfamiliar environment. I’d phoned my mom at the airport, so within seconds she and Chloe burst from the house to greet me. My mom hugged me and rubbed her arthritic hands carefully up and down my shoulders. “You’ve gotten so big, Danny!” she said in wonder. I hugged Chloe next and asked her how the baby was. And then, as I had expected, they turned to look questioningly at my companion.
I immediately thought, Oh God, the moment of truth. I had rehearsed what I would say a thousand times since getting on the plane, and I had thoughts of all different, creative ways of saying it, but then I thought of Simon, who would likely never come out, would spend the rest of his life running from who he
was. I didn’t want to be Simon, so I said, “This is Alexei Karenina, mom. He’s my partner.”
She looked Alexei over with some concern. “Your business partner?”
“No, Mom. My life partner. My boyfriend.”
I watched her take that in. She blinked, as did Chloe, but then, to both their credit, they offered Alexei a hospitable smile and shook his hand. He greeted them both in that formal, almost courtly way the gentleman of the Dollhouse Society did, and even kissed my mom’s hand, which made her blush. She turned to me and said, “We’re putting you up in your old room, Danny. But we weren’t sure if you would have a…companion or not.”
“My room’s fine, Mom,” I told her.
“Your dad’s around back with the boys, but I’m not sure if you want to make introductions at this time.”
“I understand, Mom,” I said, happy and thankful for my mom’s warning, and the fact that she and Chloe were being so good about this. I guided Alexei up to my room, which was exactly the same way it had been when I left for college five years ago, except for the bedding, which she had thoughtfully changed. I returned from fetching our luggage to find Alexei moving around the room, familiarizing himself with the small space we would share for the next two days. “I have my own bathroom, so we won’t have to venture into the house too often this weekend…I mean, unless you want to.”
Alexei picked up one of my geeky essay awards and lovingly ran his hands over it. “Are you ashamed to have me here, Daniel?”
I blushed. “It’s not that. But you haven’t met my dad yet.”
“But I have met your mother and sister, and they’re lovely. I look forward to meeting your entire family,” he told me, which didn’t make me feel much better. I wondered if my dad was going to be as understanding as my mom and Chloe. Probably not.
My mom was putting on a huge banquet dinner for my entire family, all the hearty Midwestern fare I’d grown up on. Of course, by the time Alexei and I went downstairs, my entire family was aware I had a boyfriend. A few of my younger cousins chatted me up, but the older family members made a point of avoiding me. I spotted Melissa, Chloe’s maid of honor, and my high school sweetheart and ex, across the room, but she avoided even making eye contact with me when she saw me standing by the punch bowl near Alexei. It was beginning already.
I knew that sooner or later I’d need to see my dad. It was unavoidable. After dinner, I left Alexei in the care of my mom and sister—they both seemed enamored of him by then—and went down into the den to see my dad. He and Chloe’s fiancé Jason were watching a game on the big-screen TV and talking sports, along with a few of my cousins. He was no longer the robust man I knew; he looked so shrunken since his fight with cancer, like it had stolen away a part of his spirit. I wondered if Alexei had felt the same way about Elizabeth as she slowly withered away. My dad had won that fight, but at what cost? The chemo had robbed him of his thick, beautiful auburn hair, and his blue eyes looked faded, his face drawn and as craggy as stone. I decided it wasn’t true that all men come away from a brush with death with a better appreciation of life. If anything, he looked almost bitter, as if life had let him down.
“Hi, Dad,” I said, and went to give him a hug.
“Hello, Daniel,” he answered formerly. He didn’t hug me back. Jason and my older cousins shifted away almost like I was carrying the plague, and I had a thought then, that I should just tell him it was good to see him, and discreetly escape the room. But in years past, I would always sit in as my dad talked about the latest Jayhawk’s game. I used to be part of this group of men, my family. So I sat down and asked them about the game they’d all seen.
“The Jayhawks did better in the latter half of this season,” my dad answered, and then turned back to tell Jason something. I sat there and listened for a while in silence before giving up and retreating to the kitchen to make myself a drink. At that point, I needed one.
A few moments later, my dad stepped into the room and said, “We need to talk about your situation, Daniel.”
“What’s there to talk about?” I said as I mixed a scotch and soda, heavy on the scotch. I didn’t offer him one; Dad wasn’t supposed to drink alcohol anymore.
“I think you should come back home after graduation. New York hasn’t been a good influence on you, son. And Melissa has been asking after you.”
“Dad, I broke up with Melissa,” I said.
“There’s nothing wrong with Melissa,” he argued, sounding almost insulted. “She’s a good girl, Daniel, hard-working, pretty. What more do you want?”
“I don’t love her,” I said in a small voice.
“No,” he said quietly. “But you love that queer?”
I turned then and looked at him. I played with the angel charm around my neck and swallowed hard against the lump forming in my throat. “Yes,” I answered quietly, trying not to let my voice break. “I love Alexei.”
“Not just a queer, but an old queer.”
“Dad…” I began, but he cut me off.
“Daniel,” he said, giving me hard eyes. “There’s no future for you there. If you stay with him, you’ll never have kids. You’ll never have a life of any kind.”
My trepidation was immediately washed away on a tide of anger. “Actually, Alexei and I are planning to move to Martha’s Vineyard. I’m going to work for Alexei’s corporation as a CPA until I can finance my own firm. And we’re thinking of adopting. I don’t think that’s ‘no life of any kind,’ Dad.”
“Don’t get smart with me, Daniel,” he said steadily, shaking his finger at me, his eyes boring holes into my skull. “So you’re going to be two queers raising a kid up to be queer too.”
I looked at him sadly and realized that I was never going to get through to him. He was never going to understand.
Dad reached for a bottle of beer he shouldn’t be drinking and twisted the cap off. “You took a year out of your college education to care for me during the cancer, and for that I’ll make an allowance. You can stay here this weekend with your boyfriend, but I want you out on Monday morning. And I don’t want you back here with him, embarrassing the hell out of me.”
“Dad…”
“Don’t call me that, Daniel. You’re no son of mine,” he said and stalked from the kitchen.
* * *
I went out back where we had a few acres of land. The stable was out there, with Chloe’s horses put away for the night. I stood in the hay-strewn aisle, fed her big, aging, dun-colored barrel-chaser alfalfa pellets, and thought about what Dad had said. For a while I felt nothing, just this big, empty hollowness inside of me, and then it all started exploding out of me. I retreated to the tack stall, sat down on a bale of straw, and started to cry like some stupid kid who had fallen down and skinned his knee—except that this hurt a lot more, and it seemed the more I cried, the more powerful the pain became until I was nearly hiccupping with sobs and my stomach hurt like hell.
“Daniel.”
I looked up, surprised and embarrassed someone had taken me unawares in my present state.
Alexei stood at the entrance of the stall, sweeping the ground with his cane while he made his careful way inward. I rubbed at my cheeks, sat up straighter, and said in a strong, unwavering voice, “Sorry. I just needed a breather is all.”
He navigated to my side, sat down beside me, and put his arm around me, saying nothing. We sat like that in silence for a spell. Then I turned my head and buried my face against his shirt and sobbed out all the pain. I understood what he meant about silence. I didn’t want to hear lame excuses or assurances. I didn’t want him lying and telling me everything would be okay when I knew it never would. I just wanted him to hold me until this pain passed.
Finally, after some time, he rubbed the back of my neck and said in a whispery voice, “Do you want to leave? We could get a return flight to New York tonight.”
I sat back and swiped my sleeve over my eyes. “No,” I told him. “I’m not running away. Dad said I could stay till Monday,
so we’ll stay.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m not running away, Alexei,” I told him in a stronger voice. “I’m not ashamed of you, or of who I am.” I sniffed and looked at him. He had that look that he so often had when we made love, that look that softened his face a little, that made him look young. After a long moment of breathy silence, he put a hand on my face, leaned forward and licked at the tears on my cheeks. Then he angled his face down and kissed me, sweeping his tongue across the seam of my lips. Sighing, I relaxed into his kiss. “That feels so good,” I said, melting against his warm, solid chest. I parted my lips so he could glide his tongue into my mouth. He flicked it against the roof of my mouth and his hands traveled down to my waist, under my dress shirt, to cup and rub the muscles of my abs reassuringly.
I reached up and buried my hands in his hair even as his tongue flicked in and out of my mouth teasingly. I sucked on his bottom lip until he gave a low, sexy groan, and soon his right hand moved down between my legs to fondle my growing erection.
“I want you,” he told me.
“I thought you weren’t going to take advantage of me?” I said, smiling teasingly against his lips.
“I lied.” His hands undid my jeans and he groped my cock and balls as he kissed the side of my neck. “You’re such a beautiful boy, Daniel, and I love you and want to ride your ass hard. Now.”