She balks at my suggestion, crushing the small part of my heart that had remained untouched throughout my fall from grace.
When she refuses to move, I push open the door, pulling her inside with me. I need time. I need to figure out what we’re going to do. How can I keep her safe? If we try to run, Nathan’s going to be pissed and will probably kill both of us. Me for defying him and Tasha because as much as he needs Nick Romero, he can’t stand him. He would gladly put a bullet between her eyes if it would push Nick to the point where he followed Tasha to the great beyond.
“I miss you, Tasha,” I admit sadly.
“You wouldn’t have to miss me if you answered the damn phone when I call,” she snaps. This is a completely different woman from the girl I used to know. She’s no longer a pushover or a people pleaser. Someday, I’ll have to thank Dylan for getting her to be more assertive. I just hope we’ll have that opportunity.
“Yeah, I know.” I fumble through my clutch, trying to find my cell phone. I can feel it buzzing and know it’s Nathan checking in on me. He doesn’t trust me, with good reason. No one should trust me. I’ve gotten to where I am in life by trampling on everyone around me as long as it helps me. “I’ve been… busy. Hey, can we go somewhere else to talk?”
Tasha doesn’t jump on the idea of leaving with me. Smart girl. Instead, she chews on her lip while picking at her cuticles. While I know she shouldn’t go anywhere with me, it stings to see her not jumping at the chance. There was a time when I could have suggested leaving and she would have dropped everything to join me. No, her resistance has nothing to do with my mission; it has everything to do with the distance I’ve created between us.
“I can’t be gone long,” she says after an awkward silence. I want to kill myself as I lead her out the back door.
“Holly! Holly!” The panicked voice sounds familiar. I look up and see Dylan hovering over me, gently shaking me. “What in the hell happened to you?”
Everything comes into focus and I realize I’m on the ground, slouched against the wall. “I…I have no clue.” Beyond simply being embarrassed, I can only imagine that Dylan probably thinks I’m using again and had some sort of overdose. Why else would I be almost lying on the floor of a public bathroom?
“Dylan, you have to believe me,” I beg, my sobs growing more uncontrollable. “I have no clue what happened but I’m not high. Please, you have to trust me!”
Everything is still fuzzy, but I’m pleading for my future. Dylan warned me several times that if he found out that I was using drugs again, then he would pull the funding for my school. I can’t let that happen when this is the first time in my life I have allowed myself to dream of a real life. Not necessarily white picket fence dreams, but very real dreams.
“Holly, you need to calm down.” The tenderness in his voice frightens me. It’s the type of voice people use when someone is seriously injured. The voice made to mask how dire a situation really is. “Dylan is at the table. You were gone a long time, so I came back to make sure you were okay.”
Dylan’s at the table? I know we aren’t buddies, but what the fuck is he talking about?
“Dylan, you’re not fucking funny,” I snap. “Help me up and then call Tommy. I think I need to go home.”
I feel dizzy when I look up to see the concerned gaze looking down on me. When he reaches down to help me, everything starts coming back to me. There are no tattoos on his forearms. I know Dylan has tribal tattoo on the top of his forearm but the olive skin reaching to me is pristine.
“You’re right about one thing, sweet cheeks,” he laughs. “This isn’t fucking funny at all. You wanna tell me what’s going on? Why I find myself in the ladies’ room helping your ass off the floor?”
If I knew him, it would be hard to tell him that he’s witnessing the tail end of the worst anxiety attack I’ve had in a year. But I don’t know him. Logic would say that would make it harder to admit, but the truth is, I feel a freedom with Liam. I don’t give a shit what he thinks about me.
“I’m still learning how to deal with stress,” I say with a shrug. “Before last October, I would have coped by popping pills. Now, I apparently deal with it by passing out in the bathroom.”
I haven’t opened up to anyone the way I want to open up to Liam. When I look into his hazel eyes, I see understanding. Not the compassionate understanding I get from Tasha and Tommy, but something closer to the experience of having been at rock bottom himself. I reach into my purse, fumbling through the contents. I have no clue what I’m looking for, I just need something to divert my eyes from his gaze and keep my hands busy.
Liam slides down the wall, taking a seat next to me. “Look, you don’t know me from Adam, but if you wanna talk, I’m here. Know a bit about trying to dull the pain. I’ve been doing it for half my life.”
Just with the glimpse into his life I’ve been given, I trust he’s telling the truth. Knowing how close my guilt came to crushing me, I can’t imagine the burden he’s had to bear for all these years. “Last year was the worst,” I start. “My best friend was going through a divorce and I wanted to be there for her. The problem was, I was already in deep to her husband. He’d been keeping me on the hook for too fucking long. I wanted away from him, but the pills kept me coming back.”
“Makes sense,” Liam says without an ounce of judgment. “But that’s not what this was about, is it?”
His arm draws me tight to his side, my skin absorbing the heat from his body, taking off the icy chill of the bathroom. I’m conflicted on how I should feel about this because I know in my heart he means nothing by it, but I still feel as if I’m somehow betraying Tommy by allowing myself to enjoy being in this man’s presence.
I shake my head. “Not really. I mean, that was the start of it, but it gets worse. A lot worse.”
I continue, telling him about Dylan and Tasha getting together, my addiction getting worse when I felt as if I was losing the only true friend that I’ve ever had and finally, the lengths I went to trying to save my ass.
“That night, Nathan made sure I was dressed up real nice and brought me out. He’d been keeping tabs on Dylan and coming to most of the shows. I don’t think it was any coincidence that Tasha was here the night he brought me. Somehow, he knew she would be here.”
“Have you told anyone that?”
I snort at the ridiculous idea. “Why? So they can say I’m full of shit? It’s not going to do any good, so I’ve kept my mouth shut.”
I can tell by the disapproving look on his face that he wants to challenge my statement, but he doesn’t. Maybe he knows what it’s like to have people call you a liar when you’re speaking the truth.
“So what happened tonight?” He reaches for my hand and we sit there as he caresses the back of my hand with his thumb. If it wasn’t for the fact that I need to feel the connection to someone, anyone, I would have jerked my hand away.
“It was right there,” I say, nodding toward the counter. “I looked my best friend in the eye and convinced her to leave with me. Told her we needed to clear the air. The whole fucking time, knowing I was leading her to the man I was proud of her for escaping from.”
The door swings open and Dylan storms into the room. It’s amazing how much space two muscle-bound bald men can consume. The room feels so stuffed it’s going to burst at the seams if anyone else comes walking in.
“What the fuck are you two doing?” I’m going to kill at least one of them. Liam’s been back for exactly forty-three minutes and he’s already making the moves on Holly. Not only is this completely out of character for the brother I knew when we were younger, but it’s Tommy’s girl. The person Liam is going to have to work the hardest get along with and here he is sitting all cozied up to her on the bathroom floor. Not sure how he thinks this is helping.
“Liam, you can’t just barge in here and try to dive into the pants of the first woman you see. You think Maria’s brother is pissed about the accident? I can guarantee you, this is going to piss
him off just as much, and this time, no one will be able to say it was an accident.”
Liam jumps up off the floor, standing nose-to-nose with me. “You don’t know shit about me, about her, or about what’s going on in here. So I highly suggest you shut the fuck up and quit thinking the worst.” There aren’t many men out there who intimidate me, but seeing the tick in Liam’s jaw, I’m worried things are about to get ugly. “And do not mention Maria’s name to me. I’ll deal with Tommy, but you don’t get to go there.”
“Then start explaining it to me, big brother, because right now, I’m about two seconds from laying your ass out on the ground.” I’m seething with anger, but I’m not sure who I’m upset with the most. Liam, for having Holly wrapped in his arms? Holly, for allowing the situation when I possibly betrayed the confidence of one of my best friends by telling her his darkest secret? Myself, for having faith in either one of them to be able to do the right thing?
“Dylan, stop!” Holly shrieks as I cock my fist back. “I had a panic attack. Liam came in to see why I had been gone for so long and he found me on the floor. Tommy was right; it was a bad idea for me to come back to this place. I’m not sure why I thought I could handle it.”
Seeing Holly sobbing on the worn tile floor is like a knife to my chest. I’m the inconsiderate asshole who didn’t think before setting up the meeting place. Subconsciously, maybe I knew exactly what I was doing and wanted Holly to comprehend the pain she caused everyone now that she’s sober.
If there weren’t some sadistic ulterior motive, why wouldn’t I have offered to meet her somewhere else when Tommy jumped down my throat about it? Because I was only thinking about making things easy for myself. Three meetings, one location and life is great for me, everyone else be damned. Knowing the way things are going tonight, I wouldn’t be surprised if the band I’m trying to sign to some local shows comes waltzing in and joins this happy little party.
Liam glares at me, his cold eyes daring me to say a word as he crouches down in front of Holly. “Hey, it’s okay. Let’s get you out of here. Dylan can drive your car home and I’ll follow him.”
As he grabs her hand and stands, he turns his head to me. “When did you get to be such an asshole? You should have known she wasn’t going to deal with coming back here,” he scolds me. I divert my eyes to the ground because he’s right. The anger toward him has evaporated. I still want to hit the wall, but only because I see now that I should have listened to Tommy. If Tasha finds out about all of this, I can only imagine the fight it will cause. She may be my precious, submissive beauty, but when she’s pissed off, she puts up one hell of a fight.
“Holly, I’m sorry,” I say for what feels like the millionth time today. “I have a meeting here later and figured it would be easiest. I see now that it’s only easy for me.”
She’s holding onto my brother as if he’s her lifeline. How sick is it that she can trust a stranger more than her best friend’s boyfriend?
“It’s okay, Dylan,” she says in the voice she used for over a month after she went to rehab. All those pieces Tommy and Jeff had managed to glue back together to start building a stronger Holly are scattered across the floor. She’s back to being the broken, vulnerable girl she was when she was getting high all the time. “It’s my fault, really. If I hadn’t--”
“Stop it!” I command. She’s more than suffered enough for what she did, not only at her own hands but also with my venomous actions over the past few months. “You can’t beat yourself up forever. Everyone around you has accepted your apology and sees that you’re busting your ass to never go back there. Now, you need to do the same.”
She removes Liam’s arm from her shoulder and walks over to me. “Thank you,” she whispers. We still have a long way to go, but somehow, I know that we’ve begun the journey of healing in the women’s room.
I know I promised Holly that I would let her take care of this meeting with Dylan on her own, but I can’t wait any longer. She hasn’t even been gone an hour and I’m the miserable sap picking up the phone to get a ride to the club.
“What’s up, cuz?” Zeke answers on the second ring.
“Need a favor,” I say, getting straight to the point. “Dylan asked Holly to meet him at Last Chance tonight and I’m worried about her.”
“Hang on, I need to deal with this,” Zeke says to someone on his end of the line. “Tommy, you know Dylan’s not going to start any shit with her. He wants to apologize to her because I think he’s finally realizing that he fucked up. It’ll be fine.”
Logically, Zeke makes sense. I know I have nothing to worry about, but I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen. I don’t want her being in that place without someone who cares about her there to support her. She’s just starting to forgive herself. Putting her back there could undo all of that progress.
“Look, you know I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t important. I’m not saying he’ll do anything, but something’s not right. I need to get down there. So, are you going to let me buy you a drink or not?”
“I think it’s a bad idea, bud. I think you need to let them deal with this shit because if you go storming in there, one or both of them are going to think you don’t trust them. She’ll call you if she needs you.” Zeke’s full of shit and we both know it. We’re too close for him to smooth talk me the way he does so many other people.
“With or without you, I’m going down there. If it’s a huge mistake and they’re pissed off at me, fine. But what would you do if it was your girl walking into the fire?” Of course, that would require Zeke having a girl. He doesn’t understand what it’s like to feel so fiercely protective over someone because he’s never let anyone in. He’s more the type of guy to have fun for a while and then send them on their way when he gets bored.
“Hang on,” he says to me before covering the mouthpiece on the phone. I can’t make out the words, but I hear the woman’s voice again. “Okay, I’ll be there in fifteen. Be outside waiting for me.”
“If this is all for nothing, I’m going to be pissed,” Zeke complains as he rounds the corner into the parking lot. “I’m beginning to think you and Dylan have something against the idea of me getting laid. I spend far too much time rescuing your women and not nearly enough with the ones I bring home.”
He’s trying to lighten the mood, but I can tell he’s just as tense as I am. The tendon on the side of his neck is tight and bulging, and his hands are gripping the steering wheel so tight that I think it might crack under the pressure. This isn’t about Holly. There’s something going on in Zeke’s world and I want to know what it is.
“Please, two times you’ve had to help us out. And we all know you look at Tasha like a sister, so really, both times you’ve been helping her out,” I laugh, trying to cut through the suffocating tension. “Maybe after you prove me wrong, we can head somewhere else for a while. Holly will probably want to go see Tasha and we haven’t hung out in almost a month.”
Zeke shrugs. “Maybe. Not like I have a hot little ginger sitting at my place. She bailed when she found out I was taking off for a bit.”
“You seeing someone?” I ask, trying to gage how serious things are with the mysterious redhead.
We get out of the car and Zeke avoids answering the question. That in itself speaks volumes. I don’t push him for more information because my mind is already on the other side of the heavy wooden doors at the entrance. Once I know Holly and Dylan are playing nice and she’s not on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I will be able to focus on my cousin again.
It’s still early, not to mention a weeknight, so there aren’t many people in the bar. I look around but don’t see Dylan or Holly anywhere. Glancing over my shoulder, I see my car still in the lot, so I know they haven’t left. When the bartender nods toward the back, my pace quickens. There’s no reason for them to be down the narrow hallway together.
“…everyone around you has accepted your apology and sees that you’re busting your ass to
never go back there. Now, you need to do the same.” Dylan’s voice is coming from inside the women’s room. As strange as that is, I’m just grateful to hear him making amends with her and telling her the same thing we’ve all been saying for a long time. Maybe with him on her side, she’ll finally start believing it.
Unexpected Protector (Isthmus Alliance) Page 18