by Arden Ellis
Kai came to a halt before her. Her fingers raised—hesitated—and then, very slowly, brushed a strand of Wright's hair away from her face. The path of light touch over her cheek burned like a brand. Her fingers trailed down to hover over Wright's collarbone, near where the shrapnel had injured her in another lifetime. "I do not understand you at all," Kai murmured. "You really are the most damnable—"
"Quiet, Kai," Wright said. Kai's eyes would not leave her own. It was getting very difficult to breathe, and yet she could not look away.
The silence stretched between them, fraught and impossible to breach. Wright had yet to give her answer, her response to the love that Kai had professed her—for yes, it had been love, though Kai would never admit to it. Wright was as certain of that as she had been of anything in her life. It was Kai who had always shaken her certainty, had turned her to face the truth. Kai, who had asked her to stay.
"I was wrong," Wright said, her voice low. When Kai inevitably opened her mouth to make some retort, Wright pressed a finger to her lips. Immediately, Kai's eyes went dark. "It wasn't a choice between you or my honor. All this time, I could have had both." At once, meeting Kai's gaze was too much. Wright bowed her head, the words twisting and writhing through her chest and throat before she could finally set them free. "I want both."
Her fingers had drifted from Kai's lips to her cheek. Wright lacked the strength to pull them away. And so she felt the smile which slowly began to spread over Kai's face, even before Kai spoke. "Well?"
The familiar impudence in Kai's voice lifted Wright's gaze at last. "Well, what?" Wright said irritably. "I was attempting to bare my soul for a moment, but if that isn't quite enough for you—"
"Well," Kai repeated again, leaning closer. "Are you going to keep babbling on about choices and honor, or are you going to make me kiss you first?"
For a long moment the contents of Wright's head resembled nothing more than a blank, flat line. "Now that you mention it," she managed with a smile, "I have a few more thoughts on the nature of authority which might interest you before we—"
Burying her fingers in the front of Wright's tunic, Kai tugged her into a kiss.
Her mouth was soft, and warm, and hungry. Despite Wright's initial impulse to pull back in surprise, she found herself pressing closer, deepening the kiss, raising a hand to bury it in Kai's hair until she grunted in pain.
At that Wright pulled back a fraction, mindful of Kai's injuries. Their foreheads pressed together, noses brushing, lips still just a breath apart. Kai's eyes were wide; they studied Wright warily, fearfully, even as Wright stroked her hair.
After a moment, Kai cocked an eyebrow with a wry smile. "I suppose that's been a long time coming."
"I'm amazed it took you so long," Wright said. "I'm starting to believe that you are capable of restraint after all."
"Well I can't allow that," Kai said in a tone so low it was almost a growl, leaning forward to take Wright's lower lip between her teeth. Wright made a noise between a gasp and a laugh. "I have been contemplating this moment for longer than I care to admit," Kai whispered. Wright doubted it was a coincidence that Kai's lips had begun to trail down her neck, angling head so her expression was out of sight. "I wanted to get it right."
"I'd wager you're off to a good start." Coherent speech was becoming more difficult as Kai sucked at her pulse point. Wright's hand slid up Kai's side, brushing over the leather buckles of her jerkin and imagining what it might be like to watch Kai undo them, one by one. "Exactly how long have you been thinking of this?"
"Oh, you know…" Kai pulled her head back to fix Wright with a languid smile. "From the moment we met I wanted to strip off your armor piece by piece and see if you were truly wound as tightly as your manners suggested."
"The first time we met we were trying to kill each other."
"I was multitasking."
Wright laughed in spite of herself. "Lecher."
"Always." She felt Kai drag a smile up the curve of her neck. "I suppose you expect me to ravish you here and now."
Wright closed her eyes. There was nothing in the world but Kai, her lips, her tongue, her teeth, her hands. "Yes, actually."
At once, Kai's exploration of the tender skin beneath her ear froze. Wright opened her eyes as Kai pulled back slowly, her dark brows pulled into a frown. "…Really?"
Wright struggled to marshal her thoughts, bring her concentration back from where it had been drifting somewhere far above the treetops. She let an ironic smile touch her lips as she stared into Kai's eyes, admiring the way her tousled hair looked when wrapped around her fingers. "Well, your behavior has given me certain expectations. Unless, of course, it was all talk—"
The change in Kai's expression was instantaneous. Wright watched her pupils grow until they swallowed up all but a thin line of gray. Her breath came out in a shudder as her hand reached up to cup Wright's cheek, her thumb sliding roughly over Wright's mouth.
"Get your horse in the trees. Now."
The command sent a fiery arrow shooting through Wright's stomach. Wordlessly, she nodded. Kai stepped back, her hands hesitating on Wright's skin as if trying to leave their mark there. Fumbling for Farstride's reins, she quickly tugged him off the road, following Kai into the trees. The sun was turning the color of a ripe peach in the western sky, the air growing cool and damp. Wright felt the heat of Kai's hands and mouth burning on her skin like the touch of the curse.
They scarcely made it beyond the tree line, stumbling and tangled up in each other as they led their horses off the road. The second they were out of sight Kai's hands were on her again, gripping the back of Wright's neck, sliding to tug at her tunic and her breeches as if unable to decide where to start. Wright would have smiled, made some quip about Kai's impatience, but the feeling of Kai's teeth nipping at her neck drove all rational thought from her mind.
"We need—a good spot," Wright managed between kisses, her voice lovely and hoarse.
Kai pushed her down right where they stood, half-falling onto the mossy ground. Kai followed more carefully, ever-conscious of her wounded back, until she had lowered herself over Wright with her knees bracketing Wright's waist. "Here." Wright felt Kai's breath tremble against her face as her hands gripped Kai's hips with bruising strength.
"Here," Wright agreed. Already breathing hard, Kai began to tug Wright's shirt out of her breeches and get it over her head. Wright tried to help, their hands bumping into each other in their haste. Wright let out a ragged laugh as she saw Kai's hands were shaking. Hers were little better.
"Get the—the laces, they're—"
"I know how to open a blouse—"
"Well then stop taking your time about it—"
With a growl of aggravation, Kai's fingers dug into the fabric—and then ripped it clean down the middle. At once Wright's hands closed over Kai's wrists, holding them still. The evening air played over the exposed skin on her chest and belly, raising goosebumps. "I liked that shirt."
"It looks better this way." Kai leaned down to nuzzle down the exposed skin from Wright's clavicle, her hands still captured in Wright's own. Wright's grip tightened as Kai slid the remaining fabric down her shoulders. Kai's mouth moved down her chest. Wright's back arched against the ground, her grip on Kai's wrists loosening; then Kai's hands were everywhere. Wright's fingers migrated to drag through Kai's hair, gently working out the tangles as Wright tried to control her breathing.
All at once, Kai stopped. Wright found herself staring up into Kai's eyes, framed against the blue dusk and the shifting leaves above. Up until now, every moment she'd spent with Kai had been full of restless energy, anger and frustration and competition driving into her like spurs. Wright felt none of that now. She lay still, loose and pliant under Kai's hands.
"Gods," Kai whispered, her tone so reverent it was as if she truly believed. "You're so beautiful like this."
Such a remark demanded a pithy retort; something scathing and sarcastic to mask the true emotion in Wright's heart.
None came. The warmth of Kai's body pressed close against the evening chill; she felt Kai's breaths stir the hair around her face. It was impossible to run from the truth in Kai's expression. Wright found, with Kai's fingers drifting down her throat, that she did not particularly want to.
Kai's hand drifted lower, a light touch down Wright's sternum, moving down to her belt. There Kai paused. Unconsciously, she licked her lips in a deeply distracting way. "Is this alright?" Her voice was more tentative than Wright had ever heard it.
In answer Wright leaned up to kiss a path up the side of Kai's neck, grinning at the way her fingers tightened on Wright's belt. "Please."
Kai did not ask twice.
Wright gasped, her forehead pressing into the crook of Kai's shoulder as Kai's hand slipped into her breeches. For a moment all she could do was feel, Kai's fingers and breath and Kai's other hand gripping the back of her neck as if to hold her in place. Wright's nails dug into the arms of Kai's tunic, clinging for dear life; she was careful not to touch the healing injuries on Kai's back, but if Kai felt any pain it seemed to be the last thing on her mind.
"Look at me, Wright." Kai's voice was ragged. Nodding helplessly, Wright opened her eyes to meet Kai's gaze—even when her last remaining shreds of common sense told her it was folly to open herself up so quickly, to let Kai see her vulnerable and wanting and utterly lost. And yet, as Kai's touch made her eyelids flutter and her breath hitch in her chest, Wright never once thought of looking away.
She had never dared picture of this. Oh, she'd been plagued with such thoughts during the longest and loneliest nights, and at times it had been Kai's face which crept unbidden into her imaginings. But even in those fantasies, hastily used and then shamefully cast aside, Kai had never stared at her the way she did now. Not with that flush on her cheeks, her mouth half-open and her eyes half-closed, looking down at Wright with something like devotion. She touched Wright the way she donned her armor, slowly, with experience, and a reverence Wright once would have said Kai was utterly incapable of feeling.
She had been wrong, so very wrong. About Kai, about her lord, about everything. But as Wright fumbled the rest of Kai's clothing open and felt the warmth of her skin, for the first time she could remember, everything felt right.
It was not long before they both came apart, gasping and clutching at each other until both their hair was tangled with leaves. They lay on their sides wrapped up in each other, their clothes half-opened and their exposed skin sticky with sweat. A tree root was beginning to make itself known in some tender portion of Wright's back; she pressed her cheek to the top of Kai's head and resolved to ignore it indefinitely.
Somewhere in the distance, an indignant whinny sounded in the evening air. For some reason the sound sent a bubble of mirth rising through Wright's chest, a laugh that quickly snowballed as Kai joined in. "Ah," Kai managed, "Right—the horses—"
"We should probably do something about that," Wright said between breaths.
Kai groaned, her arm still curled under Wright's head; she was utterly unselfconscious about her open shirt, her breasts bared to the darkening sky as her fingers twirled strands of Wright's hair. A lazy smile crept over Kai's face as she saw what Wright was looking at. "I can think of a few things I'd rather keep doing."
As she shifted closer once again, Wright lay her palm against Kai's chest—pointedly avoiding any provocative topography. "It's getting dark. We ought to make camp."
Kai stared at her beseechingly, a hand coming up to reposition Wright's hand to her breast. "Must we?"
Wright sighed. Her muscles felt so comfortable that the idea of rising was almost agony. "I can gather some firewood. I believe there was a spring across the road and over the hill—"
As she spoke, Kai stiffly sat up. A short wince showed her wounds were not as far from her mind as Wright had hoped, but they did not slow her down. She had hastily cast her travel sack aside; now she rummaged in it for a blanket, opened it over both of them with a flourish, and then tossed her pack down in place of a pillow. "There," she said simply. "Camp made."
Wright laughed in spite of herself. "This is a terrible place to sleep. There are rocks and roots everywhere."
"Mmmm. What if I promise to distract you?" She carefully settled down on her side once more, a hand slipping into the front of Wright's torn shirt to wander up and down her ribs.
"It's not me I'm worried about. I refuse to listen to you moan about your aching back all morning."
"I promise to keep my agonies to myself."
Wright propped herself up on an elbow to inspect Kai's face. The sun had gone down; somewhere behind the trees, the moon painted the blue darkness with edges of white. "You, stop complaining? I find that hard to believe."
"I'm full of surprises."
With sigh Wright shifted so that she lay on her back, and then gently eased Kai forward until she lay on top of her. A temporary solution, but certainly an appealing one. As Kai tucked her head under Wright's chin, she listened to the air in Kai's lungs, the strong, steady beat of her heart. She drifted along the shallows of sleep, aware only distantly of Kai's fingers drawing patterns on her shoulder, wakeful even now. It was some time before Kai spoke, and at once Wright was awake.
"Did you really forsake your vows for me?"
In the darkness, Wright rolled her eyes. "Not for you exclusively, Kai. Don't be an egotist."
"Don't think I can't feel you rolling your eyes at me. For all your posturing, I'd wager I was seventy-five percent of what convinced you to return."
A wry smile twisted Wright's lips. "More like twenty-five."
"Hmmph. Sixty at the very least."
"I'll concede to forty."
Kai's hand shifted up Wright's jaw to touch the corners of her smile. "I take it back. From that smirk on your face, I'll bet it was nothing less than ninety." Her hand shifted to smother Wright's laughing complaints. "Don't deny it, I know you too well. I can just picture you sitting in that pathetic cell you called home, unable to drive thoughts of me from your mind."
Wright made a noncommittal noise past Kai's hand and hoped she couldn't feel the heat rising to her cheeks at how close to the truth Kai actually was. As Kai's hand slid to cup her cheek, Wright turned to kiss her fingertips, one by one. In the darkness she could see only the faint glimmer of Kai's eyes, like starlight reflected back to her.
"It's a choice I should have made a long time ago," Wright said softly.
"Well, I won't argue with you there. I can't imagine how you managed to resist me so long to begin with."
With a snort, Wright gently repositioned them so that they both lay on their side with Kai at her back, hiding her smile against the darkened tree trunks surrounding them. "Maybe you're not as charming as you think you are."
At once Kai rolled over to press against her back, a welcome warmth. "Charming? No. But devastatingly attractive…" Kai dragged her nose down the side of Wright's neck, leaving shivers in her wake. "That much you can't argue with."
"Arguing with you is one of life's greatest pleasures, Kai."
"Speaking of pleasures…"
Wright caught Kai's hand on its journey down her stomach. "We should get some sleep," she said. "It's a long road back to the coast, and I know of a mad alchemist and a stubborn sellsword who will need our help more than ever."
"A long road indeed." Kai shifted closer, wrapping her arms around Wright's waist and slotting her chin in the crook of Wright's shoulder. "And no doubt it will be fraught with secluded glades like this one."
"And comfortable meadows."
"Those too. I shudder to think of all the sunlit valleys we're sure to happen across."
Wright shook her head sadly, her eyes already closed and a smile set on her lips. "Poor Preston and Silva. It will be a shame to keep them waiting."
"They'll keep."
Her lips were so close that Wright could feel the movement of her words against her neck. Kai smelled of sweat and medical herbs. Wright wanted to kiss her
again. And again, and again after that. Wright smiled and felt Kai's fingers interweave with her own.
There would be time.
EPILOGUE
A strong breeze blew out of the west on the day the world changed. That morning, for the first time in months, Wright donned her armor. It sat heavy and unfamiliar over her tunic, the edges of the plates digging into her flesh in unfamiliar and uncomfortable ways; perhaps she was getting fat. The thought put a wry smile on her lips. She had never expected to enjoy such a luxury before.
It was difficult to believe it had only been two years since she left the service of her lord, pledged herself to the care and defense of this place, these people, and the secret they all held. With her elbows on the cold metal railing of the ship, Wright leaned forward and let the wind tug her hair in front of her face. It was growing long once again—Kai liked it that way, and so Wright let it grow, tied at the nape of her neck when the time came to bend over the gardens on the deck of their ship, or work on replacing the pipes which collected their fresh rainwater. There was always work to be done, on the ship or in the fields they cultivated a brief ride from the beach, where for two seasons they had grown a modest crop of beans and potatoes and carrots.
Wright's hand wandered idly to touch the pommel of her sword. Soon, she would ask Silva to cut her hair into its familiar battle crop. For today, if all went as planned, the time for farming and mending would come to an end.
The wind would scour her face raw if she leaned into it for much longer. Blinking away tears from the brightness of the sun, Wright turned to walk back down the long deck of the ship. Everywhere there were signs of their residence; holes in the slanted deck patched with wood, decades of debris cleared away; a painting on the side of one of the cabins done in Silva's graceful hand, the remains of a forlorn training dummy where Kai had left it leaning after hacking it nearly to pieces. Wright let her fingers trail over these mementos fondly as she walked.
She found Silva sitting at the entrance to the lower decks, the drier of which served as their living quarters. In the months they had lived on the ship, Wright noticed her smiles came quicker, and without the wary edge. She had replaced the teeth and bones wound in her hair with gull feathers and sea-polished glass. Her sword lay across her knees, a whetstone in her hand. It was the first time Wright had seen her weapon drawn in months. The sight of it made her heart beat faster, nerves and anticipation leaping beneath her skin.