He cleared his throat.
“Sarai, I appreciate you coming with such haste. Hushar informed me that you were returning to Kaleo.”
“That’s where I’m from, Zaxson. Symeon was going to escort me home.”
“Sarai, there’s nothing to fear from me. I’m not the Vereuxs, and that’s part of the reason I needed to speak with you and Symeon. As with him, I have something important that I’d like to ask you.
“Firstly, are you aware of the Guardians and their Protectors who helped liberate Nazil?”
“Yes, I saw the Guardians and their leader in the Animus Wood.”
“It’s because of them that I’ve called you here. I need to speak this in full hearing of Symeon. It’s important that he knows what’s to come.”
“Me? What do I need to know?” Symeon asked.
“I’ve learned that you intend to wed soon. Is that correct?”
“It is. I would’ve escaped Nazil long ago if not for Sarai. I wouldn’t leave without her. Draizeyn…he—”
Pentanimir silenced him with an upraised hand. “I know, and I’m sorry. It isn’t nearly enough, but I offer it to you anyway.”
As they nodded, Pentanimir sighed, dreading his next words. “I also ask your forgiveness for my next question. I wouldn’t mention it if the AsZar hadn’t spoken about it. Sarai, I need to know who took you abed.”
“What? Why?” Symeon asked. “She didn’t want to lay with anyone. They forced their depravities on all of us.”
“Symeon, I’m not asking to demean or belittle. I’m aware of the atrocities that took place here. No matter how much I wish it otherwise, I can’t change what’s already past, but with your help, we can create a better future.” He took a deep breath, looking at Sarai. “I’m asking because of the child that Sarai carries.”
“Child?” Sarai asked, lowering a hand to her abdomen. “I’m not pregnant.”
“Why do you think she’s pregnant?” Symeon asked.
“The AsZar told me about the child. She said that my son, Tardison, would need assistance from the child you now carry. You’re pregnant with a son, Sarai, and he’s integral to the future of Faélondul. Do you know his father?”
Tears lined her eyes as she stared at him in horrified disbelief. “I—I drank the herbs. I can’t be pregnant. I can’t.”
Symeon grasped her hand, draping his arm over her shoulder. “You’re certain, Zaxson?”
“I am. I’m sorry, Sarai, but it’s true. Do you know the father?”
“There were but two,” she said, lowering her gaze. “Draizeyn kept me for his own, but after he was killed, Daracus…he...he—”
“Daracus? He’s the father?” Pentanimir asked, knowing his preference had been men.
“Yes. If I’m pregnant, it would be the seed of the son, not the father.”
“You’re certain?”
“Yes.”
Symeon drew her closer. “Is this all you need, Zaxson?”
“Yes,” he sighed, draining his cup. “I can’t order you to carry this child, Sarai, but I plead for you to consider it. The AsZar spoke of his importance to all of us. You don’t need to answer now. If you’d like to speak with Symeon alone first, I understand.”
“I don’t know,” Sarai said. “I don’t want to lose Symeon or keep this child. I want no reminder of Daracus or his foulness. I won’t keep it. The Vereux seed is tainted and corrupts the lives of everything around them.”
When Pentanimir attempted to speak, she shook her head, finding the resolve to look at him. “If the AsZar spoke about this child, I’ll carry him, but nothing more.”
“We wouldn’t ask you to keep him,” Pentanimir said. “I’ll take him as my own, and you won’t have to see him. He’ll be under my protection. Are you certain that you can do this?”
“No,” she said, wiping away her tears. “But I—I’ll try. I don’t want any part in this other than what I’ve stated. I’ll bring him forth, but I won’t hold him to my breast. I want him taken away as soon as he’s delivered.”
“Sarai, are you sure?” Symeon said. “My love will remain regardless. We can raise this child together, and I’ll accept him as my own. Don’t forgo the love of your son due to your love for me. He’s a part of you, and that’s all that matters to me.”
“No. I won’t claim any children but yours. No others.”
Symeon’s visage was forlorn. “I won’t leave your side, Sarai, I promise. Learning about this child changes nothing. After I speak with Nzuri, we’re going to Kaleo and meet with your parents about our ceremony. You’re going to be my wife, and we’ll begin our lives together.”
“I appreciate your willingness, and thank you both. I understand it’s a difficult decision, and I’ll be here for whatever you might need,” Pentanimir said. “Before you take leave, please speak with Temian regarding an escort. If you’d like to travel soon, we’ll ensure that you’re kept safe. I’ll need you back in the citadel shortly, Symeon. You’re my First Chosen.”
“I’m honored, my lord,” Symeon said, helping Sarai to stand. As they left the room, Pentanimir motioned to Elodie.
“Please escort Symeon and Sarai to his suite on the second level. Do you recall the one he was assigned?”
“Yes, Zaxson.”
“Good. Please escort them and send Beilzen in.”
Pentanimir roughly rubbed his face, retaking his seat. This transition was tedious, and he’d grown weary. Although he was pleased that Symeon accepted his offer, he wasn’t certain about Sarai’s well-being. They were planning their wedding, and now, she’d carry a child from her rapist. Daracus had been sadistic, and Pentanimir didn’t want to contemplate what Sarai had suffered at his hands.
He shook his head, forcing those thoughts from his mind. It was time to confront Beilzen, no matter how he wished it otherwise. Pentanimir saved this meeting for last, and he hoped the time wasn’t too soon. Beilzen needed to heal, not only his body, but in his heart and mind most of all.
Beilzen hobbled into the chamber wearing only a long robe. Even after a full moon, his skin was a sickly pallor, and dark circles rimmed his eyes. He winced with every movement, trying not to reveal the agony of his abuse.
Pentanimir gestured to Wosen in the corridor and then watched in sadness as Beilzen tried to find comfort on the chair. Though he’d loathed him in the past, he couldn’t help but sympathize with him now. It was the influence of his uncle Oxilon that had forced the changes in Beilzen. Just as Yannick had turned from the man he was in his youth, so had Beilzen. His cruelties were well known throughout the citadel. However, even one as misguided and cruel as Beilzen had become didn’t deserve such treatment.
“How are you healing?”
Beilzen lowered his gaze, unable to meet his eyes.
“The High Priest, Nzuri, has tended me well. The—the pain is all but gone.”
“I’m glad to hear that, Beilzen, and I’m sorry for what Daracus did to you. The former slaves spoke of his cruelties often.”
“Well, no one suffered more at his hands than me.”
“I wouldn’t speak so surely. You didn’t know Daracus or the cruelties he committed. Many have suffered worse than you and then died slowly after their treatment. But that evil is no more, and I’d have you well-tended.”
“Why? Why would you care about my treatment? Don’t you even want to know why Daracus had me in the dark chamber?”
Pentanimir shook his head, looking on with empathy. “I have no need to know, but there are many things that you need to learn.”
“Learn? You truly give no care? The reason doesn’t matter?”
“No. Regardless of the offense, there’s no justification for what he did to you. Nzuri informed me about your injuries and violations.”
“Surely, Wosen and Hushar told you what I’ve done,” Beilzen said.
“They have. Should I take that into consideration? What punishment would you assign yourself for such cruelty?”
“Punishment?
Will—will I be taken back to the cells?” Beilzen asked, unable to keep the tremble from his voice.
“Only if that’s where you choose to be. I didn’t ask you here to judge or punish you, Beilzen. I’m not my uncle, and it’s unfortunate that you still haven’t realized that.”
Beilzen nodded, smiling wistfully. “I wasn’t highborn like you, Pentanimir. We were well situated, but never quite well enough for those who held themselves in high regard. Your uncle helped me in many ways, as I did him. I only sought to rise higher than my station. I wanted my sons to be more than I was. That’s of little matter now. Daracus made certain of that. The de Braose name ends with me.”
“Only if you wish it. That choice, too, is yours.”
“Choice!” Beilzen’s eyes narrowed. “What choice? He took everything from me! There’s nothing left but seared, separated flesh. Why would you dig at a wound that pierces so deep?”
“Forgive me. That isn’t my intent.” Pentanimir cleared his throat, pouring him a glass of wine. “Mayhaps we should discuss the reason that I asked you here. Do you recall a citadel attendant named Shiloh?”
Beilzen’s head snapped up. “Shiloh? What? Why are you asking about her?”
“I’ll explain momentarily. Do you remember her?”
“I—I do. I was young, barely a man grown when they brought her here. I’d just began my duties for your uncle then. Why do you want to know about Shiloh?”
Pentanimir ignored his question, continuing. “Tell me what you remember about her.”
“I remember that I found her beautiful, even though she was human. Her eyes were the first I noticed. They were the deepest, richest jade with vivid amber flecks. Her auburn hair was long and wavy, and—and her skin glistened like the palest honey,” he said, smiling with the memory. “Her build was soft, full, and more pleasing to me than I could’ve ever imagined. No one in all Nazil captivated me so. It was the first time that I’d seen a human woman so close, and I couldn’t turn from her.”
“Is that why you forced yourself on her?”
“I never raped her! I was assigned to the cells, and…and we talked to each other. Not in the beginning, but once she realized I wasn’t like the others. I brought her food and fresh water even though I wasn’t supposed to. In time, she cared for me as I did her. Even though I was Nazilian, she loved me. She was the only one who loved me. I didn’t know that they’d brought her to Nazil for a high lord. She was supposed to be maiden, but I didn’t know. It was the first for both of us. They beat her when they found out, and then took her away.”
“What happened to her?”
“I don’t know, not truly. Your uncle promoted me, and I couldn’t return. The guards sickened me, the way they japed about her. They took turns using her after the Cha had their fill. I know that she became pregnant and died soon after. Why would you open a wound long sealed?”
“Are you saying that you loved a human?”
“Is your wife not human, Zaxson? Am I now less because I loved her? Yes, when I was young and didn’t understand the way of things, I loved a human. I was six and ten, Pentanimir. I knew nothing.”
“It’s good for you that I’m not like my uncle. Even so, you’ll respect me as your Zaxson, and not like we’re two guards standing watch over the city. Your disdain for me is well known, son of Perrin, but mine was equally so for you. In my eyes, you were a caitiff, spreading lies and secrets to further your position. I don’t want or need this type of man around me. However, I’ve been told that this man no longer exists. If that’s true, there’s much I can do for you. If you’re agreeable, you could assist Jahno to maintain our records and finances.”
“Jahno? Daracus’ woman?”
“Again, your tongue serves you ill. Jahno is my sister’s husband, and his position is over yours.”
Beilzen’s face flushed. “Sister? So, it’s true. Your father did have other children.”
“He did, and they’re in Nazil, as it should’ve been long ago.” He sighed. “I’m trying to help you, Beilzen, but you’re not of a right mind. The AsZar warned me to allow your healing before speaking with you. Mayhaps it’s too soon.”
“The AsZar? The one said to be with the Guardians and giants?”
“Yes.”
“She mentioned me? What would she have of me, Zaxson?” Finally, the notes of respect had entered his voice.
“Nothing. I learned about Shiloh from the AsZar.”
Beilzen’s brow knitted. “But why? How does she know Shiloh?”
“She knows more than Shiloh. Beilzen, tell me: did you abuse Wosen because he was half-human?”
He lowered his gaze. “No. Your uncle admired strength, and I did what I could to prove that strength. Oxilon was the only one willing to give me an opportunity to be more than I was. I wasn’t acting out of hate, Pentanimir. It was out of desperation. You couldn’t know how it was for me. I was never good enough, even after becoming a guard.”
“It’s a shame that you chose the wrong Benoist,” he said, shaking his head. “Now, do you have a mind to listen?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I asked you about Shiloh, due to her son. He’s still here in the city.”
“Her son?” he breathed. “Where?”
Pentanimir scrutinized his every inflection. Could he have truly loved her? Would he love him as well? he thought.
“The boy, Fáelán, is Shiloh’s son.”
“I don’t know any child by that name,” Beilzen said.
“You wouldn’t. Draizeyn called him, bastard .”
“He’s her son? I—I thought maybe there was a chance. His eyes and coloring were like hers, but I’ve only seen him a few times. Fáelán is his name?”
“It is. Wosen has grown fond of the boy and rescued him during the battle.”
“Wosen? Can I see him…can I see Fáelán?”
“When you came, Wosen brought Fáelán down. He’s waiting in the corridor, but I have more to say.”
“I’d like to see him, please. I’ll help to care for him if you’d allow. If he’s Shiloh’s son, I want to ensure he’s taken care of. I owe her that and more. Please.”
“Do you still desire an heir?”
“Why do you torture me so? Not even I deserve what you do.”
“I’m not torturing you, Beilzen, I’m trying to learn of your heart. The progress you’ve made thus far is significant, but I must be certain. I need to know if you’re willing to accept Fáelán…because he’s your son.”
Beilzen’s mouth dropped as tears flowed from his eyes. “It’s a cruel thing you do. Did my past cause you to hate me so deeply? Daracus made certain that I’ll never have children.”
“You can no longer father a child, but there’s one here that you fathered long ago. The AsZar told me about Shiloh because of your son.”
“How? How’s it possible? Do you trick me with hopes of an heir?”
“I didn’t want to tell you at all. If not for the AsZar, Wosen would raise Fáelán as his own. Your abuse of former captives is well-known, and I won’t allow Fáelán to be mistreated.”
“I’d never abuse my son. I didn’t know, Pentanimir. Gods, I didn’t know. Even if Shiloh had told me, I couldn’t have done anything. I—I passed him without notice…he was just another slave.”
“A slave that you fathered. Shiloh died long ago, but you’re still here. Fáelán’s features are human, Beilzen, not Nazilian. When you look at him, you won’t see yourself.”
“No, but I’ll see Shiloh. No one knew about our relationship. I…he…Fáelán must be my son. Please, let me see him. I’ll care for him, my father, and I. We won’t hurt him, never. I want to see my son.”
“You’ve been assigned a larger chamber. If Fáelán chooses, he’ll remain with you. However, you won’t take him from the citadel. Nzuri needs to continue your treatments, and I’d have you monitored with Fáelán. He might be your son, but he’s of great concern not only to Wosen, but to me as well. I won’t allow his
mistreatment. He’s suffered enough in his six years.”
“Never would I harm him. Please.”
“You’ll remain here. In time, I’ll have the appropriate documents issued certifying his birth as blessed. He’ll have your name as he should.”
Beilzen’s tears began anew. “Why are you doing this for me? You saved me from the dark chamber when most would’ve left me to die. Now, I’ll have my son, a blessing I thought forever removed.”
“I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for Fáelán. Regardless of your treatment toward me, I wouldn’t leave anyone to suffer in the dark chamber. The AsZar wanted you with your son, but if I find that you’re being cruel or harming Fáelán in any manner, you’ll answer for it.”
“I’ll take the greatest care of him, Zaxson. Please, may I see Fáelán?”
Pentanimir stared at him for a moment before moving to the door. Once it opened, Beilzen flinched, hearing Fáelán’s laughter. Wosen was tickling his belly, causing him to squeal.
“It’s time, Wosen. You come, too,” Pentanimir said.
Wosen clasped Fáelán’s hand, walking into the room. He glared over at Beilzen, not wanting to release the young boy.
“Fáelán,” Pentanimir said, kneeling. “This is the man that we told you about.”
The little boy clutched Wosen’s leg, moving behind it.
“Hello, Fáelán, my name’s Beilzen. Beilzen de Braose.”
Fáelán looked up at Wosen, gripping his leg tighter. He knelt to the little boy, hugging him. “It’ll be all right, I promise. Have I ever come false to you?”
Fáelán shook his head, not releasing his hold.
“And I never will. We are family, you, and I. Don’t you remember?”
Fáelán loosened his grip, meeting his eyes. “I ‘member when we was in ‘da snow and in ‘da cit’del too.”
Wosen nodded. “Just as then, I’ll let no harm come to you. Now, we spoke about this man before. It’s all right.”
Slowly, Fáelán edged closer to Beilzen. He tucked his hands behind his back, staring down at the floor. When he was within reach, Beilzen rested a hand on his arm.
“Hello, Fáelán,” he offered again.
The Rise of Nazil- Complete Epic Fantasy Trilogy Page 84