“Are—are you certain, Sahma? Once we’ve become one, it cannot be undone.”
“You’re the only one that I want, Ahvixx. I need you to be a part of me.”
“Gods!” he moaned, overcome by the sensation. He attempted to move, but felt his body tense, jerking with the release igniting every receptor in his body.
As he called out, Sahma covered his lips with hers, muffling his sound. When his mouth opened again, she felt his warm tongue, and then entwined it with hers. After his body calmed, he returned her kiss, and then fell to her side, catching his breath. She was quick to nestle in next to him, feeling his arm bringing her closer.
“Am I still your dearest friend?” she asked in the sweetest voice he’d ever heard.
Ahvixx had to chuckle, bending to kiss her. “You are that and more, Sahma. Always you will be.”
She smiled at that, nuzzling in closer, and closing her eyes. He stared at her in disbelief, trying to calm his mind. What am I to do ? he thought, relishing not only how she felt in his arms, but also what she’d ignited within him.
For both, sleep came easily. When the first rays of sun shone through the cracks in the shutters, Sahma turned, moving her leg over him. That stimulation and the subsequent reaction caused his tired eyes to open. He smiled, first kissing her lips, and then continuing lower.
“Is it a wonderful dream, or do you yet please me,” she whimpered.
He didn’t answer verbally. He slid into her warmth, allowing the reality to overtake her. Sahma clutched his waist as his motion brought her full from her slumber. His movements were more numerous than their previous joining, and she brought him in tighter, feeling his powerful release.
“It wasn’t a dream,” he said against her lips, kissing her again.
“Now we both know the secrets and pleasures of making love,” she said. “But I feel there’s much more to explore. Do you feel the same?”
“I—I do. There are parts of your body that my lips have yet to touch.”
“And yours as well,” she said, sliding a hand between his legs. “There’s one place in particular that I’m very curious about.”
Ahvixx chuckled, feeling his quick reaction. “The curiosity is mutual.”
“Hopefully, you’ll allow me to explore more soon,” she said, kissing his cheek, and sliding away. Ahvixx gripped her hand, drawing her back down for a longer kiss.
“Are you leaving me?” he asked.
“I’d stay if I could, but I need to go.”
“Then stay,” he said, pulling her back into his arms, surprising even himself with his forwardness.
“It isn’t my choice, nor yours. I must get back to my bedchamber before my parents wake.”
“How will they know you didn’t wake early? Indeed, you did. It isn’t false to say so. Stay with me, Sahma. We don’t need to make love if you don’t wish it. I just want to be with you.”
“If I could stay, truly, I would. But no one would understand our closeness, Ahvixx. I know we’re not married, but our bond is undeniable. You are my dearest friend, and I love you,” she said, kissing him again, and then standing from the bed.
“Must you leave?” he asked. His voice pleading.
“I must, but I’ll return. Who’ll brush your hair if not me?”
That brought a smile to his face. When she left his chamber, he fell back on the bed. If his mind was a jumble before, it was much more so now.
“Definitely not a priest,” he said again, vividly recalling every moment that they’d spent together.
Though he found little rest, he remained awake, washing in the basin and preparing to dress. He looked at the robes he usually wore and then at his tunic and trousers. The latter he’d begun to wear more often as his relationship with Sahma progressed. Today, it would be the same. He dressed and then tossed the soiled bed coverings in the hearth. He pulled the blanket up on his bed and opened the shutters wide, letting the full light of the day wash over him. He felt different, more alive than before, and he loved the feeling.
Ahvixx opened his door and sat on his stool, awaiting her return. His wait wasn’t long until she tapped on his door looking more beautiful than he’d ever seen her. The fitted blue and gold dress she donned brought out the beauty of her eyes, accentuating her figure. His eyes rested on her breasts, recalling the feel and taste of them.
She approached with her same loving smile, kissing his lips quickly before taking up the brush. He turned, staring at her in the mirror as he always did.
“I love you,” he said.
“And I love you,” she said, gliding her fingertips across his neck.
“I truly love you, Sahma.”
“I know,” was all she said before turning him around and continuing her grooming. After his braid was complete, he stood, taking her hand.
“Does knowing of my heart change what lies in yours?”
“What? I’ll always love you,” she said, kissing his cheek. “Now, we mustn’t miss morning meal.”
She doesn’t understand , he lamented, following behind the pull of his young lover.
When they’d reached the dining hall, most were already seated. For the first time, he noticed Yeshe and Saifu’s eyes on him. At least, he thought they were. Ahvixx cleared his throat, offering morning greetings.
“Did you enjoy your swim?” Yeshe asked.
“P—Pardons?”
“Your swim. Sahma asked to visit the lake, and we allowed it because you were accompanying her. I was going to ask at evening meal, but you declined to partake. Did you enjoy the lake?”
“Yes, yes, milady. The water was barely tepid, but the sun was pleasant,” he said, nervously glancing at Sahma from the corner of his eye.
“Good. We appreciate you accompanying our daughter. It isn’t safe for a young woman alone, even so near to the citadel.”
“This is true,” Vot said. “Though I’m pleased much of the violence has subsided. When are you planning your trip to Nazil, Olam?”
“Mayhaps on the morrow. Pentanimir has returned from the wood, and I need to speak with him.”
“Are you still joining me in Nazil, Ahvixx?” Olam asked, noting his odd demeanor.
“Nazil? You—you want me to go to Nazil?” Ahvixx stammered.
“Yes, I asked you about it before. You might be able to help decipher the scrolls or shed light on what’s already been discovered. Are you all right?”
“No. Yes. I’m fine. I—I didn’t sleep well, and I’m still tired, I fear.”
“Well, we can cancel our session for today if need be. I’d have you well rested when we take leave.”
“May I come too?” Sahma asked.
Saifu looked at Ahvixx and then back to her. “Why do you need to visit Nazil?”
“There’s no need, Father. I’d just like to see the city and visit with Hibret and Wosen. Besides, if Ahvixx is away from me too long, his hair might tangle, and he’d use those awful knots as an excuse to cut it.” She smiled, running the long braid through her fingers. Ahvixx tensed, peering around nervously. To his relief, laughter filled the room.
“Well, surely we couldn’t allow such a thing,” Yeshe said through her own giggles. “It’s been some time since you’ve seen your sister. Mayhaps a visit is overdue. If Olam has no objections, we’ll allow it.”
Olam glanced at Ahvixx and Sahma, nodding. There was something there that he couldn’t discern. “I’d welcome the company of such a beautiful young maid,” he said, noticing Ahvixx wince.
Ahvixx ate little and said less, relieved when the meal had ended. He meandered down corridors, trying to sort out the divergent emotions surging inside him.
When he neared his chamber, he sighed, taking a seat on the divan. He needed to speak with Sahma, and couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness at her absence, or understand why it was so profound. He’d never experienced such a longing.
“Brother,” Droxahn said, rounding the corner.
He sighed again. There was too m
uch occupying his mind, too many questions that needed answers. The last thing he needed was to see Droxahn and Aizen. He loved his sister, and was happy that she’d found someone to share her heart. But witnessing their affections only served to remind him of the painful uncertainty of his own.
Feigning his best smile, he greeted them. “Sister, Aizen. Where are you off to?” he asked with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.
“Aizen wanted to visit the lake. Would you and Sahma like to come? Ahni and Ameya will be with us.”
His thoughts immediately returned to Sahma’s clinging tunic. “No…no, thank you, Sister. As I said, I didn’t sleep well last night. I think I’ll try to rest.”
“Are you certain?” Aizen asked. “Mayhaps you could come and rest on the bank. It’s a beautiful day.”
“Thank you, no. It’s the comfort of my bed that I need.”
“Well, enjoy your rest,” Droxahn said. “We probably won’t return until after the noon meal. Aizen packed a basket.”
Ahvixx nodded, watching them disappear down the corridor hand in hand. He stood there a moment more before entering his room, sitting near the hearth. Closing his eyes, he contemplated not only his current situation, but also the path that led him there.
“The many secrets of love,” he said aloud. It was my desire, too, Sahma. I just didn’t have the courage to ask for your promise before making love to you , he thought, picturing her nakedness outlined by the soft glow of the hearth’s light.
To his surprise, Sahma tapped on his door. When she entered his room, he rushed over, lifting her from the floor as he moved behind the door, smothering her with kisses.
“I’m glad that you’ve come,” he said, leading her to a seat beside his.
“Had I known that I’d receive such a reception, I would’ve hurried my steps.” She giggled, but her mirth was cut short, noticing his serious expression. “Has something happened, Ahvixx?”
“Only the most wonderful experience of my life. Do you not remember it?”
“Remember? Ahvixx, I’ll never forget. How could I?”
“What are we going to do?”
“I came to see if you’d like to walk in the gardens.”
“The gardens?”
“Yes. It’s a beautiful day, and we haven’t searched the skies for some time.”
“Is this all you want?”
“I’m sorry, Ahvixx, I didn’t mean to disturb your rest. I thought you’d enjoy visiting the gardens with me. In the past—”
He silenced her with a kiss. “I do want to spend time with you and so much more. Do you want the same?”
“Of course, I do. You’re my dearest of friends and the only one that I want to be with. You know this.”
“What about me? How do you feel about me?”
Sahma’s brow furrowed, searching his face. She knew what she wanted, but wouldn’t assume the same of him. After their time together she wasn’t certain how he felt. She enjoyed him being a part of her, but she didn’t want those intimacies to influence the direction of their relationship. She wouldn’t risk losing the only man she’d ever loved.
“Ahvixx, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I love you. I’ve always loved you,” he said, kissing her more passionately than ever before. As he drew her closer, loud, rapid knocks sounded from behind them.
“Sir Ojarz!” Ahvixx said, leaping to his feet. “Can…I mean…how…uhm…can I help you?”
Olam glanced at the two of them, stepping into the room.
“Sahma, I think you should join your mother. It appears that Ahvixx and I have something to discuss.”
Without a word of protest, she stood, hastening from the chamber. Ahvixx peered at Olam, and his shoulders slumped as he took his seat.
“What are you doing, Ahvixx?” Olam asked, crossing his arms over his slender chest.
“Sir?”
“Don’t act as if you have no idea what I’m talking about. Sahma. What’s happening between you and the young girl?”
“She isn’t a girl, Sir Ojarz.” He stated more forcefully than he’d intended. Ahvixx sighed, lowering his head to his hands.
“She’s no longer a young girl. Sahma is a beautiful young woman and my dearest friend.”
Olam relaxed, taking a seat next to him. “Yes. Sahma is a girl no longer. This means that your interaction and closeness needs to change as well. We all know that you’re special friends, and we’ve monitored that friendship closely. Once, you studied to be a priest and as such, there was no cause for concern. Albeit, much has changed with not only you, but Sahma, too. Having her alone in your chamber could lead to more than I’ve just witnessed.
“This isn’t an admonition, Ahvixx, such feelings are natural. It’s obvious that you love each other. Sahma keeps her feelings for you no secret. However, I believe you’ve returned those feelings and probably more. You no longer love her as merely a friend, you love and desire her as a woman.”
“I’ve always loved her. It wasn’t sudden due to any physical changes.”
“I know, Ahvixx, and that isn’t what I meant. Sahma befriended you when you had no one else. Her heart is open, and she gives it freely. She gave all of herself to you as only one with her heart can. She’s a very special young woman, and I love her as my own.”
“Why then is it wrong for me to love her?”
“I didn’t say that it was wrong. I asked what you are doing. This is something that you need to truly consider. That wasn’t a kiss of friendship.”
“I know what I’m doing. I’d marry her on the morrow if she’d have me. I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life.”
“But you don’t know if she would, do you?”
“No,” he admitted not only to Olam, but also to himself. He leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes.
“How does it feel not to know if the person you love so dearly will accept and return that love in kind?” Olam asked.
“I feel numb and in agony all at once. Never have I felt such an ache. Never.”
Olam stood, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“I don’t understand,” Ahvixx said. “Why is the pain so overwhelming?”
“Because you’re truly in love. Never have you experienced the sharing of your heart in this manner. Only the deepest love can cause the greatest pain. Your heart is true; take comfort in that.”
“I need to talk with her, Olam. She needs to know how I truly feel. We’ve kissed before, but not like that. If her heart wasn’t for me, why would she return such a kiss? I need to know if she loves me the way that I do her.”
“What you need now is rest. Mayhaps after you’ve slept, your mind will be clear. I’ll speak to Sahma and Saifu.” Olam upraised a hand. “There’s no need to mention the kiss, but I’ll make Saifu aware of your feelings. No one will judge you because of your love for Sahma. She’s of the age for promise and bond, but I fear being alone with her isn’t an option now. Do you understand?”
Ahvixx did understand. He also understood that he needed to be with her.
“May I go to her now?”
“No. You need to rest,” Olam said. “I came to tell you that we’re leaving for Nazil on the morrow.”
“But—”
“Don’t worry, Ahvixx. You’ll be able to speak with her soon. Both Saifu and Yeshe think very highly of you and your friendship with Sahma. Not only has she brought out a change in you, but you’ve also done the same for her.”
“But would they accept me for their daughter as anything other than a friend? Her father is a high lord, and I—”
“You are who Sahma loves,” Olam said. “We are Bandarian before anything else. Station means even less to us now than it did when we lived at the base of the mountains. When we return from Nazil, I’ll speak to Saifu and Yeshe on your behalf. If they aren’t receptive to your promise, it won’t have anything to do with your supposed standing in these lands. Saifu will judge your character as you are,
not as you believe you should be .”
The Key
“We must, Father,” Nikolina said. “The pain increases with each rise of the sun.”
Allister felt impotent, caressing her trembling hand. Although their outer wounds had healed, their emotional turmoil would be everlasting. It was even more so once they’d returned to Nazil. Allister prayed that the worst was behind them, but then he discovered the tattered map in an inner pocket of his cloak. That map would lead him to the key, but what would that mean for his family, or for Faélondul?
Weeks had passed since their ordeal on Sanctium, and Lilinth’s threats were coming to fruition. Nikolina’s episodes had begun three suns past, and not even the healer could ascertain the cause or lessen the pain’s severity. Allister saw only two options before him: either he could do nothing, and continue watching his daughter suffer, or he could acquiesce to the mage’s demands.
He kissed the hand he was caressing, forcing an unsuccessful smile. “No, Nikolina. I must go. I refuse to allow you to suffer because of my ignorance. Never should I have taken you to such a place. In my heart, I knew, but I—I—”
“You listened to the foolish pleas of your daughter. I’m the one at fault.” She winced. “You warned me about your fear, but I wouldn’t listen or admit that I felt the same. Now, my son is at risk, and mayhaps, all of Nazil. It’s because of me that Danimore’s son died. The scorn inside of me took all else from my mind.
“Danimore was right not to choose me as his wife. I’m a wretched creature, Father. Wretched!” She shrieked, curling as the pain radiated throughout her entire body.
“By the gods, Nikolina.” He stood, searching the darkened recesses of the room. “Please, please stop this. Stop this, damn you! I’ll do whatever you command. Just stop—” His words ended in a gasp as Nikolina sprang up in bed, releasing an ear-piercing shriek before she collapsed, lying as still as the sudden silence that surrounded him.
“No. No,” he said, rushing back to her side. Noticing the slight rise and fall of her chest, Allister lowered his head to hers, begging any gods who’d listen to protect his daughter.
The Rise of Nazil- Complete Epic Fantasy Trilogy Page 108