“No,” he said, quickly. “I mean, please remain. I’d enjoy your company.”
Nena nodded, bringing the stool near the deep tub. She grabbed the brush, rubbing the soap on the bristles. As she passed it over his shoulders, he craned around to look at her.
“I didn’t ask for you to stay as an attendant. I’m capable of bathing myself, you know? I’m merely two and fifty, not some old and feeble man.”
“No, milord. I don’t see you as feeble or old. Quite the opposite, I assure.”
Allister studied her face for a few moments more before sitting up, allowing her access to his back. He ruminated on her response, wondering if there was a greater meaning behind it. But when the brush glided in circles across his back, the pleasurable massage occupied his thoughts.
As she continued his bath, the two conversed, until his water grew cold. Allister didn’t feel uncomfortable or reticent unclothed before her, not like when she’d offered him the first massage. Whether he’d grown accustomed to her presence or something more, he wasn’t certain. Either way, Hushar had been right. Spending time with Nena helped ease the loneliness and loss he felt.
Allister had begun talking about Nikolina, too. Instead of those memories eliciting sorrow, he spoke of the joyous times in their life. He still was aggrieved and blamed himself for her death, but he could smile now when talking about her, focusing on their love.
“Let me help you out before you catch a chill,” Nena said, holding up a large towel. When he pushed up from the tub, she turned, wrapping it around him when he drew near.
Allister leaned forward, sniffing her hair and neck as she secured the towel. “Lavender,” he said, inhaling again.
“I have an oil that I use after I bathe. It was my mother’s favorite, and is mine, too.”
“Mine as well,” he reminded her, smiling as she stepped away.
“I’ll leave you to dress and start preparing the meal when I return. Dalinda told me what was needed from the market. I’d like to have everything taken care of before she returns on the morrow.”
“Wait,” he called out before he even knew he was speaking.
“Yes, milord.”
“Allister, please call me Allister.”
“I—I wouldn’t wish to offend.”
“It would be no offense. You’re here as my guest, Nena, not as an attendant.”
“As you say, milord. I mean, Allister.”
“Good. Now, allow me time to dress and I’ll accompany you to the market.”
“But there’s no need. Dalinda told me what to purchase and I read well. I’m used to making purchases at the market.”
“It isn’t a question of your ability,” Allister said, drying his hair. “There’re some new merchants, and I was planning on the trip myself. If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to purchase a few items for you.”
“Me?”
“Yes. You’ve been here for some time, and I’ve only seen you wearing the same three dresses. Is this not so?”
She gazed down at her attire. “I wash my dresses when I bathe each night and hang them to dry, milord.”
He smiled, pulling on his trousers, and continuing to dress.
“It’s Allister, Nena. I’m merely speaking of your need of suitable attire. Merchants from all over Faélondul are coming to Nazil now, and they have some fine wares. If you’d rather some fabric to sew what you’d like, I know a merchant who always has the most beautiful material.
“You refuse to accept any coin for all you do here, even though I tell you it isn’t necessary. So, this you’ll accept because I desire to make it so.” He grinned. “Or are you going to deny the wishes of an old man?”
It was Nena’s time to smile then. “I see only a handsome man before me. To whom do you refer?”
He laughed aloud for the first time in many full moons. “For that comment alone, my dear, I owe you at least two pairs of slippers,” he said. “Go now, and tell them to ready the cart. I’ll meet you very soon.”
Difficult Decisions
“What are we to do?” Temian asked. “Certainly, they must be told.”
“That decision doesn’t lie with us,” Danimore said. “It’s Thalassa’s alone.”
Pentanimir shook his head. “I disagree. Wosen is the children’s father, and Thalassa informed him of the same. She wasn’t certain then, but now Ahvixx has confirmed it. Wosen has a right to know.”
“He has the right, but we aren’t the ones that should tell him,” Temian said. “Thalassa must do this. We’ll be with her as she does so, but we can’t ignore the importance of this revelation. Not now.”
“What about Jahno and Hibret?” Danimore said. “What about their rights?”
Pentanimir and Temian regarded their brother, considering his statement, and the reason that he’d offered it. Danimore still suffered the guilt of keeping his violation from Zeta, and felt responsible for his son’s death. He didn’t want Thalassa to repeat his mistake. Had he been honest with his wife, mayhaps Godfrey would be alive.
“Dani, we don’t think the truth should be kept from either of them,” Temian said. “It would be wrong to allow such deception. Jahno is also our brother, and he’s suffered far too much without adding this. Once Ahvixx explains the circumstances regarding Thalassa’s pregnancy, Jahno will certainly forgive her. It will take time, but he loves our sister, and can forgive her this.”
Pentanimir stood, shaking his head. “It isn’t that simple.”
“What do you mean? How is it not?”
“Think, Brother. It isn’t only Jahno that we must consider. Hibret has been wanting a child and hasn’t been able to conceive. She’s surrounded by children in the citadel. Although she finds joy helping to care for them, it’s sorrowful as well. She and Arianna are the only two who haven’t yet conceived.”
Temian’s head lowered. Arianna was also grieved about her inability to provide him with an heir. “I do understand, but do you think Hibret could handle such news now? She’s a fragile thing, and loves Wosen without end. I recall you mentioning her pleas to you in the Animus Wood. Even after everything Wosen had caused, all that he’d done, Hibret wanted only him. When she learns that he’s fathered Thalassa’s babes,” Temian paused, shaking his head. “Hibret thinks of Thalassa as a sister. This will seem a betrayal of the worst kind. How can we do this?”
“How can we not?” Danimore asked.
Pentanimir reached for a ewer of wine, pouring cups for each of them. “We need to come to a consensus, or at least, have something to offer our sister. She’ll be arriving soon, and we do nothing but disagree. If the babes were yours, Temian, and Hibret was their mother, would you want to know about your children or allow Wosen alone the role of father?”
That question set Temian back a step. There would be only one choice. He’d never allow his children not to know he was their father. It would be difficult, but he couldn’t sit idle while another man raised his children.
“I’d want my children to know me as their father. I’ve lived my entire life denied both my parents. The same wouldn’t be true for my children.”
Danimore and Pentanimir met his eyes, seeing the pain within them. They hadn’t forgotten the truths about their father. However, they didn’t consider the life Temian and Thalassa were forced to live without him. Even with Temian in Nazil, Manifir couldn’t acknowledge him as a son.
“Forgive me,” Pentanimir said. “I didn’t consider my words before I spoke them.”
“There isn’t anything to forgive or to change. I accepted my fate long ago,” Temian said, smiling wistfully. “My siblings and mother are with me now. I’ll enjoy what my life has become and leave the other far behind.”
Pentanimir nodded, turning when Thalassa entered the room. For the first time since learning of her pregnancy, she didn’t wear loose and concealing garb. With the fitted tulle gown she wore, the slight roundness of her abdomen was evident.
“Here, Sister,” Temian said, pulling out the cha
ir.
She smoothed the long skirts, concealing the small protrusion.
“Have you reached a decision?” Temian asked.
“I don’t want to tell anyone but my husband. He doesn’t need to know about Wosen. I—I just need more time.”
“You’d have Jahno believe the babes are his?” Pentanimir asked, surprised.
“What would you have me do? Do you know what we’ve done? What I’ve done?”
“It wasn’t you, Thalassa,” Pentanimir said. “Ahvixx explained how the shift affected you. Don’t you believe that?”
“I do believe him, but that doesn’t render me blameless. Don’t you realize the deeper truth?”
“What truth?” Temian asked.
“The truth of my desire. The shift only brought forth what I was already feeling, the side of myself that I suppress and deny. Wosen has always been attractive to me, even in the mountains. He was scarred and tormented, but I was still attracted to him and wondered at the thought. Now, how could I face him or Hibret? When I see Wosen, I only picture him as he appeared in the practice chamber. The way he came to me, fought with me, aroused me, and pleased me most of all,” she confessed, lowering her eyes.
“Thalassa, lingering effects are still present,” Pentanimir said. “Ahvixx said they would dissipate in time. The residual traces attempt to free that which you suppress, weakening your resolve. You aren’t alone with such thoughts or desires,” he said, raising her face to his.
“They’re a part of each of us. Attraction is not a failing, it is an emotion reminding us of our humanity. The feeling alone isn’t the issue, only allowing those feelings to consume us, to cause us to act contrariwise to our nature, and disregard all that we know and those we love. This isn’t you nor Wosen. Without this…this shift, those feelings wouldn’t have manifested. You can’t torture yourself with what couldn’t be controlled.
“You’re aware of the cause now, but you fought against this long before. You wouldn’t allow the maleficence suffusing you to have control. Release this pain and guilt. Jahno will love your coming children just as he loves Suravi. Trust in his love for you.”
She embraced him then, allowing her tears to flow freely.
“Thalassa?” Jahno said, stepping into the room. “Thalassa, what’s wrong?”
Pentanimir kissed her, as Jahno came forward. He knelt in front of her, caressing her face.
“Please, what’s the matter? Tell me please?” Jahno whispered. When she didn’t answer, he looked at Temian instead.
“What’s happened? Thalassa hasn’t been herself of late. What have I done?”
“No. Not you, Jahno,” she said. “Never could it be you.”
He gently slid the fallen hair from her face. When she didn’t respond, he turned back to the brothers. “Please.”
“Thalassa, he must know,” Pentanimir said, taking her hand. “We’re here, and we won’t leave your side.”
Jahno’s heart quickened. “What must I know, Thalassa?”
“A—a lot has happened,” she said, wiping her eyes. “I wish that you’d never left me alone in Nazil. I need you with me, Jahno.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, enfolding her in his arms. “When next I leave, I’ll take you with me. I promise. I won’t leave you again, just please, tell me what’s wrong. If I don’t know, I can’t remove this pain from you.”
Pentanimir motioned to his brothers, and they moved away, taking their seats.
“The—the shift,” was all she could manage.
“The shift?” Jahno repeated, turning to the brothers. “Is she speaking of the shift created by the wraith?”
“She is,” Danimore said. “Ahvixx detected some residual energies here in the citadel.”
“Have the children been affected?”
“No,” Temian said, glancing at Thalassa.
“Then what?” Jahno asked. “What has this to do with you?”
“Jahno, there’s so much I need to tell you,” she said. “Just know: I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you.”
“I feel the same, Thalassa. I told you when first we met, and still it’s unchanged.”
“That’s my prayer. I don’t ever want to be without you.”
“Your prayer? Do I not show you my heart daily? Have I not expressed how deeply I love you, and how much you mean to me?”
“It isn’t that. I just…I…we…I need to tell you…” She took a deep breath, stifling her tears. “I—I know that I’ve been distant, but it’s due to nothing you’ve done. It’s what I’ve learned, what I’ve done—” She paused, struggling to say the words. “I feel as though I’m in a terrible dream from which I can’t awaken.”
“There isn’t anything you can’t share with me. Whatever has happened, we’ll overcome it, together.”
Thalassa took another deep breath, gliding Jahno’s hands near her midsection. “Ahvixx felt the energies of the shift because of me. When you left Nazil, the fracture in the seal widened. Though the Guardians contained the shift, it imbued me, and I wasn’t myself.”
“What’s that to mean? Are you all right? Do we need to send for Arinak?”
“No. Not as yet. We will travel to the wood, but not soon. Firstly, we must contend with the changes here.”
“There’s more? Please, if this has harmed you in any manner, please tell me.”
“It did affect me, my—my actions, and my judgement,” she said, resting his hands on her abdomen. “Jahno, when Ahvixx mentioned the shift, he also informed me of my pregnancy.”
“Pregnancy? Thalassa, you’re with child? Your mother thought it would be at least several seasons before we could have another.”
“I’m going to have two babes, Jahno, not one.”
He caressed the small protrusion, feeling the truth in her words. “I feel them, Thalassa, I feel them!” he said, standing, and pulling her into a tight embrace. “We’ve been blessed with two? Gods, I love you, Thalassa. I love you. Why would you cry at such news? Did you think I’d be displeased?” he said, bringing her in for a kiss. “Never would it be so.”
“Jahno,” Temian said. “There’s more. Mayhaps you should sit.”
Jahno smiled, pulling out the chair for Thalassa and taking her hand. “What more is there to tell? I’ve never been happier than I am at this very moment.”
Thalassa glanced at her brothers and then met Jahno’s eyes. When she looked at him, a warmth filled her. His eyes sparkled, and when he smiled, it melted her waning resolve. She couldn’t tell him. She wouldn’t.
“When you left, I increased my training,” she said. “I know that you’d prefer I didn’t train so often, but I needed to aid Symeon, and I also trained with Wosen daily.”
“Daily? He’s much improved.”
“Yes. We sparred often, even more so than before your leave. When I learned about my pregnancy, I was afraid that my actions could’ve harmed the babes. I didn’t want to anger you, Jahno. I was foolish and should’ve taken greater care.”
The brothers were shocked, and their expressions didn’t hide it.
“Thalassa, you didn’t know. When you learned about it, you ceased your training, just as you did with Suravi. I wouldn’t have been angry. I knew of your prowess when I fell in love with you. This is part of who you are, and I’d never ask you to change it.” He lifted her hands to his lips. “I love you, Thalassa. All of you.
“Now, I think that you should rest. We’re due at the de Braose’s for evening meal. You look tired, and I’d have you well, all right? Come, I need to finish some work, and then I’ll have a bath drawn for you. You mustn’t over do.”
“I’d like that,” she said, following him from the room.
Wosen sidled against the wall, watching Jahno and Thalassa approach. The nearer they came to his position, the angrier Wosen became. He eased into the shadows, watching Jahno kiss Thalassa tenderly, before returning to his office.
Wosen’s face burned. The envy and mounting resentment welling insid
e of him was almost debilitating. He didn’t understand why, and at that moment, it didn’t matter.
As she continued down the corridor, Wosen could see the evidence of her condition…of his children. When she passed where he was hiding, Wosen gripped her wrist, pulling her from the hall.
“Wosen?” she gasped, attempting to move away. “Let go of my wrist. You’re hurting me.”
He tightened his grip, drawing her nearer. “Not long ago you would’ve demanded more, or have you forgotten?”
“Not anymore,” she said, wrenching her arm free. “Did we not agree?”
“Agree? No. You commanded. You never asked for my opinion or my agreement.”
“What do you expect from me? You’ve learned about the shift, Wosen. That’s all it was. Don’t you understand that?”
“I don’t care about the shift. That isn’t why I’m here.”
“Then why, Wosen? Why?”
His expression turned cold, peering down at her womb. “When were you going to tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“Tell me about your pregnancy…my children.”
Her eyes widened, pushing through the nearby door, and pulling him in behind her. After ensuring they were alone, she latched the door and turned to face him.
“Don’t!” she said. “I’m hiding nothing. Isn’t my condition obvious?”
Wosen scoffed. “Obvious? Yes, now that you’re wearing attire made for a woman and not a man.”
“Of what do you accuse?”
“Why did I have to learn about my children from Hibret? Why didn’t you come to me as soon as you knew? Did you think I wouldn’t be pleased to learn I’m going to be a father?”
“Have you lost your wits? You’ll be a father when Hibret bears your children.”
“Am I supposed to believe that Jahno is the father? That isn’t what you said after I made you squeal until you grew hoarse on the day of his return.” He stepped closer, staring down at her. “You don’t recall relishing my taste or how often you drank of me?”
In a blur, Thalassa’s hand shot up, slapping him hard across the face. Wosen rubbed his stinging cheek, grinning.
“Now, you remember,” he said, clutching both of her arms.
The Rise of Nazil- Complete Epic Fantasy Trilogy Page 156