I saw a quick tightening of his lips that seemed to indicate humour.
"I'll tell you my story first, but I'd appreciate if you'd lower that rifle. The way your hands are shaking is making me nervous."
He was right. I thought I'd been super-cool and controlled the whole time, but obviously not. I gave a snort of laughter, but still aimed the .22 in his direction. "Tell me your story first."
"Okay, well, I was travelling alone, but those three guys began trailing me a few days ago. They asked where I was headed and when I said Maleny, they asked to join me. We were all on foot - getting fuel had become too hard. I mean those three guys were just drunken louts, but I felt like company after so long. They were the first live people I'd seen in what, a year and a half?"
I nodded.
"When we arrived here, I was just going to walk up the driveway, but the guys insisted it would be safer to watch the house for a day first. I didn't realise they were doing it to plan an attack. My only crime was to lead these guys to your door. That was a big one, I know, but you have to understand that I didn't expect anyone to be here."
"But, how did you find us? I don't believe for one minute that you stumbled across us accidentally."
"No, I didn't. You're going to find this hard to believe — I know it sounds ludicrous — but I was having dreams that led me here."
I saw Luke and Connie nod. Their bodies relaxed.
"Did the other three dream about this place?"
"No. Just me."
"So why were you holding Thomas? It seemed like a threat to harm him."
"No, but I can see why you'd think that. I was actually trying to protect him. His crying was upsetting Frank there." He nodded to the body on the floor. "He's such a loose cannon that I thought he might kill him to stop the noise."
"Who did you lose? Who were the people closest to you that died on May 13th?"
I saw his Adam's apple rise and fall as he swallowed hard.
"My wife and two children. My son was about the same age as that boy there."
I chewed my lip.
"Do you swear on the souls of your wife and children that you didn't intend to harm us and that you won't in the future?"
He nodded. "I swear.”
I lowered the rifle. "Okay, well let's all sit down and have a coffee and you can tell us what you know."
The sky was darkening by the time Derek told us all he knew, which wasn't much more than what we had already worked out ourselves. I asked that he and Luke move the three bodies to the edge of the cleared area for burial in the morning. I prepared some dinner while Connie bathed the babies. Derek insisted on helping me in the kitchen despite my efforts to keep him out.
"No, let me help. I wanted to talk to you alone anyway."
"Oh?" I felt my body stiffen.
"No, relax. It's about Thomas. I think he needs medical attention."
"Are you a doctor?"
"Actually I'm a paediatrician. How old is Thomas now?"
A paediatrician? Wow.
"He's a little over four months. We've been worried about him."
"With good reason. If you like I'll examine him tomorrow."
I smiled at him and got the same in return. I was beginning to like this guy.
Derek was asleep on the sofa when I came out of the bedroom this morning. His long legs were hanging over the end, and his head was jammed up against the wall.
I looked over the property and saw Luke carrying shovels toward the bodies near the bush. I hurried to help him — feeling I should since I was the one who killed the men.
They were brothers, Derek told us last night, but he'd never found out their stories. He hadn't asked them for fear they'd want to hear his story and he didn't want to discuss his family with them.
Digging the graves was hard work and I was glad to be able to roll the bodies into the holes. As I threw soil over the men, I wondered about the reason they were spared on May 13th. They were such wastes of space. Worse than that, they seemed evil.”
Meg stopped writing and let her mind drift over the possibilities, but couldn't understand the logic.
She thought about what she'd heard the night before — a male voice coming from Luke and Connie's room — and wondered about it. Had that diversionary cry unlocked something in Luke? Could he talk now? Why wasn't he talking to Meg then? Was he too shy?
She thought about the jobs she planned to do. Many could be delayed until the next day. She decided then and there that, after Derek inspected Thomas, they should go for a picnic at the dam.
She made another decision. Before that she would shower thoroughly, wash her hair and shave her legs and armpits. Then she'd put on a nice dress and even perhaps make-up and perfume. She wanted to look nice for the picnic.
The day didn't go as planned, no picnic or fun — just more heartache and stress.
Derek's inspection of Thomas appeared casual so as not to worry his parents. While Luke was busy outside and Connie was doing the ironing in another room, Meg carried Thomas into the living room and placed him in Derek's arms.
The child was fretful, so the paediatrician just began his examination by holding him to his chest and murmuring softly to him. Meg could see Thomas' whole body relax and it was only then that Derek lay him down and began his examination.
At one point he put his head to Thomas' chest, his ear close to the heart. "I really need a stethoscope. I don't suppose you have one anywhere?"
"Just one of those special ones to listen to babies in the womb. Will that help?"
"No. I'll need a normal one. Any ideas?"
"Sure. I broke into a doctor's surgery not long after we came here. I could go back and look for one. Do you think it's his heart?"
"Could be but it's hard to tell. I think there's a bit of a murmur there." He re-buttoned the child's shirt. "I think we should take him to the surgery so I can examine him properly. Can you see a problem with that?"
Meg thought for a minute and went to see Connie. "Hey, Derek and I are going for a drive. We'll take Thomas for an outing."
"No need. He can just stay here with Maisie and me."
"I'd like to take him — might perk him up a bit. We won't be long."
"Oh, okay then."
Derek held Thomas tightly to his chest as he climbed into the passenger seat of the four-wheel-drive. Meg drove carefully into the township, avoiding any sharp turns or bumps. When they arrived at the doctor's surgery she parked as close to the entry as she could.
The hard work of breaking the lock had been done on her previous visit, so Meg just opened the door and held it until Derek and Thomas had passed. The examination room was cold, and she shivered.
Derek kept holding Thomas while he searched for what he needed. Once he had the instruments lined up, he lay the baby down on the examination table and gently removed his clothing.
Meg noticed that the paediatrician's hands were elegant and long-fingered. She wondered if he'd ever played the piano. He used them gracefully, and she could see he was adept at undoing the fiddly small closures of babies’ clothing.
Derek warmed the stethoscope before applying it to Thomas' tiny chest. He frowned as he moved the instrument around the small area. Next he evaluated the child's reflexes and performed other tests.
He looked at Meg. "Hold him for a moment, would you? I'm going to see if I can find a portable ECG machine that runs on battery power." She could hear cupboards opening and closing for several minutes. "Ah, here we go.”
He undid a plastic case and removed the machine. "Okay, now I need to stick these sensors to his chest. I have to apply this gel first and it's probably going to be cold on the poor little fellow." Thomas began whimpering as this was applied to parts of his chest. Derek moved swiftly, talking to the child in soothing tones and soon had the machine recording the electrical activity of Thomas' heart.
"We have to leave it on for around five minutes to get any sort of idea."
Meg began roaming around the room,
looking for useful medical equipment to take home. "I think you have an idea of what's wrong with him."
"Hmmm? Well, yes. I'm fairly certain it's a ventricular septal defect."
The blood drained from Meg's face. "Oh, God. That sounds terrible."
"Well, not necessarily. You've heard about kids with holes in their hearts?" Meg nodded. "Well, that's what this is. The trick is to work out how bad it is and then decide on treatment, if any."
"What do you mean, 'if any’? Why wouldn't you treat it?"
"Because if it's not large — the hole — it may heal itself in time."
"Great. But a bigger one?"
"That would usually require surgery. Sometimes it can be performed through catheters, but mostly it's a job for open-heart surgery."
"So all we need is a paediatric heart surgeon, then eh?"
Derek snorted. "Yeah, and I don't think one of those is going to come walking up your driveway."
He looked at the ECG readings. "Alrighty. That's fairly conclusive. What we need now is an x-ray and echocardiogram. There's probably a medical imaging business on the Coast here somewhere. They'll have the machines."
"So, you know how to use them?"
"Good point. Not exactly, but I could certainly give the echocardiogram a go. It's only an ultrasound machine so can't do any harm."
"So, say we do these tests and they show a large defect. What could we do?"
He shrugged.
"So what's the point? We can't operate. We can only hope it heals itself."
"True."
"Also the machines would need electricity."
Derek slapped his forehead. "Damn. Of course."
"Can drugs help?"
"Yeah, but I'll need to read up on them. Usually it would be a case of beta-blockers for heartbeat regularity, digoxin for strengthening the contractions and diuretics to reduce the volume of blood."
"That's quite a cocktail."
"Yeah, but he mightn't need all of them. That's where some proper information about the size of the hole would have come in handy."
"And I guess dosage is key in a tiny one like him?"
"Absolutely. That's why I'll have to read up on it. What I'd give for half an hour on the internet!"
"One of my new talents is finding information in books. We'll track them down in no time."
As Meg watched the stricken faces of Luke and Connie, she realised how hard the job of paediatrician must be in those cases where the child has problems.
Derek had been very gentle and patient with them, letting each fact register before moving on to the next.
"I guess we always knew there was something wrong — but his heart? That's awful!" Tears were spilling onto Connie's hands that were clenched in her lap.
"What we need to do is make sure he gets plenty of the right nutrients. He doesn't feed well because he becomes breathless and tires, so we have to find a way to get around this. The stronger he is, the better he can fight the problem and perhaps heal it himself. I'll have to do some reading and formulate a plan."
Luke and Connie nodded.
"I'm also researching drugs that can help. I'll know more in a couple of days."
"Anything we can do in the meantime?"
"Definitely. He needs to be held a lot. I've already been doing this. It keeps him quiet and lowers his stress levels."
Meg leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. "I've noticed that. He relaxes, especially when you hold him."
"I've had lots of practice. What I suggest is that we all take turns, the more the better."
Meg smiled at this man who only two days ago was the enemy. Now he was volunteering for baby holding.
Derek took Connie's hand. "You must realise that this is a common defect and with careful handling it won't cause any major concerns."
Only if the hole isn't too big, thought Meg.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"Aw, c'mon. How do you know all this stuff?" Meg was leaning on her shovel, looking at Derek who had just come up with a solution for fencing that took her breath away.
"What stuff?"
"Knowledge just seems to flow out of you. How to do things and fix things. It's unbelievable!"
He frowned.
"Like that fencing thing. You just knew that. Have you ever fenced a property in your life?"
"No, but, well, it's just common sense."
"Common sense, eh? How about that tool you fixed last week? You took it into the shed for fifteen minutes and when you brought it out again it looked brand new."
"It really wasn't hard."
"No, not hard because you have this ... this font of knowledge inside you."
His eyes crinkled at the edges. "Font of knowledge?"
"And direction. You always know what direction you’re facing, wherever you are you just — know."
"It's a guy thing."
"Well, I think it's bloody unfair that you have this 'guy thing' and I don't. Here we are, trying to survive in this world that's messed up and you have a whole set of skills I don't."
"That's not right. You know all sorts of things I don't."
"Like what?"
"You know. Sewing and knitting..."
"I actually don't know much about that."
"Cooking?"
"You cook just as well as me. That Asian dish you served last night was amazing."
"Fluke."
"Rubbish."
He smiled.
"Anyway, I still say it's unfair. Oh, and by the way, we should work out a better place for you to sleep."
"Why?"
"I know the sofa isn't very comfortable."
He shrugged. "It's okay."
"I can hear you tossing and turning from my room. We can sort something better."
Or you could just slip into my bed— bring that gorgeous body of yours and hold it against mine. We would fit together just nicely, I assure you. You'd slide inside me like a hand into a glove and I'd be ready for you. You'd start to move gently...
"It's not just the sofa. I don't sleep well."
"Oh?"
"Haven't done for a long time." He looked away.
"Well the offer's there. I know there aren't any bedrooms left, but I slept in that cosy little shed when I first arrived and it was nice. There's already furniture in there. Or we could tow a caravan here..."
"No need. I'll probably be moving on soon anyway."
Meg felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured over her. "Oh, I didn't know...I thought..." She ran out of words.
"I wanted to stay until Thomas stabilised. He's improved a great deal and the medication seems spot on. There's not much more I can do."
"But where will you go?"
"Dunno."
"You know you are more than welcome to stay. I guess we've never actually told you that."
"Thanks, it's appreciated. It's just..."
"What?"
"This is such a cosy family situation. I don't belong."
"They're not my family. I don't really belong either. I'm guessing they'll move to their own place soon."
"But still..."
"This is all just rubbish. You belong here just as much as the rest of us."
"Meg. I had a family. The best family a man could want. I just..." He took a shuddering breath. "I just can't..." He threw down his shovel and walked into the bush.
He didn't return until dinner time, and then he averted his gaze from Meg's.
Meg had trouble sleeping. Derek's words kept rolling like waves through her mind. Eventually she gave up and reached for her journal.
"Is it so far-fetched that Derek and I might have got together? We're around the same age, fit, healthy, and heterosexual. It's like the old song, "If you were the only girl in the world..."
It seems I am the only available girl in the world and still he rejects me. How bad is that? What's wrong with me?
He seems like a good man. Is that the problem? Is it only the bastards that are attracted to me? I mea
n, really...
My body is good — well as good as it gets for someone with my build. I have just the one scar from the caesareans and Derek’s never seen it. I'm not sagging anywhere and there's no excess fat at all. My face is good — perhaps showing some sun damage but it makes me look healthy. My features are regular. I've got hazel eyes and a wide mouth. My hair is okay now — short but with the corkscrew curls I’ve always had. It's a dark-blonde colour, but the sun has been streaking it a bit. Overall I reckon I'm okay. I certainly don't think I'd repulse a man like Derek.
I wonder what his wife was like. Connie asked about her once and he said she'd been a paediatric anaesthetist. British.
Is it her? Is she haunting him? Is he feeling guilty for surviving when they all died? Or maybe he is still in love with her and can't be with anyone else. Maybe.
I remember a conversation we had one night. I'd been out getting supplies for dinner and on impulse stopped at a bottle shop for wine. We were having fish from Baroon Pocket Dam, so I got the best Sauvignon Blanc I could find — from Marlborough New Zealand.
I dished out the meals and handed them around to everyone at the table. Then I brought over the wine and two glasses. When I went to pour some for him, he shook his head and covered the glass. I just sipped mine throughout the meal.
Afterwards he came to help with the dishes and saw me pouring the rest of the wine down the sink.
"Seems a waste. Sorry about that. I had a bad experience with alcohol after...you know..."
I laughed. "Me too. A whole bottle of vodka in one night. Not good."
His smile was ironic. "A big single night of drinking would have been perfect. Mine was a big year. Really messed myself up."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"I finally decided to dry out. It was hard to do and I swore off the booze."
"Sure. I understand."
"In all that time I was drinking, I hardly moved from where our house was."
"Where was that?"
"Coogee in Sydney. I was living like a tramp. I eventually realised that I had to start moving. I picked north."
"Then you started having dreams?"
"A couple of months later. I'd been taking my time moving up the coast, staying a while in each town. When the dreams became more persistent, I moved more quickly."
In Strange Worlds Page 10