by SF Benson
I let the words tumble from my mouth. “She’s here. Your mother helped me escape.”
“No,” he murmurs.
I reach for him, but he raises his hands in protest.
I stay put. “There’s something else you should know.”
“Of course, there is.” Bitterness tinges his words.
A warning signal speeds from my mind, rattling every fiber in me. No time for Zared’s anger. I wish I could make this easier for him, somehow alleviate the pain, but that’s not possible. I can only try to diffuse it. “Z, listen to me. Malcolm wanted her dead. She had to fake her death.”
“Why would he want my mother dead?” he asks, his voice barely audible.
“He’s a double agent.” I trudge closer to him.
He runs a hand through his hair. His eyes light up with indignation. “For whom?”
“Not sure, but he wasn’t the true leader of the Alliance. According to your mother, he wasn’t above killing to get the job.”
Zared glares at me. “What are you saying?”
“Now you’re clueless.” It seems like an eternity since Zared called me clueless because I didn’t put two and two together fast enough.
The corner of his mouth quirks up. The weight bearing down on my back eases off.
“I deserved that one,” he says. “What are you trying to tell me?”
“Your mother is the head of the Alliance.”
No response. No show of emotion. Shit.
Silence smothers us. I wait for Zared to say something. Anything is preferable to utter quiet. If someone told me my mother still lived, I’d say plenty. He stands there, clenching his jaw, flexing his fingers. Getting angry.
“Say something,” I plead.
“We better get a move on.” He storms toward the fence.
I run behind him. “Z, wait!”
Griffin chuckles. “Lovers’ quarrel?”
Zared starts to say something, but instead of entertaining the idiot, he slams his mouth shut.
I intend to give Griffin a piece of my mind when my phone beeps. It’s Taa.
“What’s up?” I ask her.
“Where are you?”
“We came through the fence.” My eyes take in the area. “We passed a sign for Fifth Street.”
“I’ll do my best to meet you at the intersection of Fifth and Avenue A,” she says, distress coating her words.
“Taa, what’s happening?”
“We’re on lockdown. Shara and Holden are missing.”
Her words make me angry. “What do you mean missing?”
“I can’t explain now. I have to get Gliese.” She disconnects.
Fast, heavy footsteps, crunching across the gravel, come from behind me. Panic cuts through me.
Pow!
All heads turn. About a dozen Riza soldiers stand with their weapons aimed at us.
The soldier in charge announces, “That was a warning shot people. Next shot goes in someone’s head.”
Leon places his gun on the ground and slowly raises his hands. Griffin hesitates.
“Don’t be dumb,” the head guys warns. “Put the gun down.”
Griffin lowers it.
Damn! How many times will someone capture me?
“The Alliance wants to repeat history. If we let them go unchecked, we’ll end up with a new Axis of Power.”
—An interview with Jacob C. Venter, Leader, American Republic
Zared
Hell no!
They’ll have to go through me to get to Tru. A guard the color of night and built like a truck approaches me.
“No,” I yell and charge toward the nearest guard.
Tru forces herself between us, thwarting the possibility of any escalation. She presses a hand against my chest. “Please Zared, I’ll handle it.”
I keep pushing forward.
“Zared.” She stares at me, unrelenting. “You’re going to get yourself killed. I’m begging you to stop. If you love me…”
Okay, that does it. I raise my hands and walk away, ignoring whatever she says to the soldier.
The man points the gun’s muzzle at the two of us and orders, “Come with me.”
Asher, Ko, and the rest of our unfortunate crew stand gaping at us. All I can do is shrug.
The extreme brightness of the sterile, white corridor burns my eyes. We stop in front of a plain wooden door. The soldier enters a code on a keypad. The door pops open, and we’re ushered into a luxury hotel room. What did Tru say to get us in a place like this?
The guard locks the door behind him as he leaves.
Tru sprawls on a blue leather sofa. She crosses her legs, bouncing her foot languidly. “Make yourself comfortable.”
“Comfortable? Are you kidding?” Her ability to relax sets my teeth on edge. “Where are we?”
She presses her lips together.
“Tru, no secrets. Remember?”
Her brow furrows, and she says in a steady voice, “It’s your mom’s room.”
“And how do you know this?”
Tru pushes up her sleeves. “I’ve been staying here.”
I run my hand through my hair and draw in a sharp breath. Words escape me. All this time, I worried about her. What a waste… losing sleep, thinking the worst. Not a minute went by where I didn’t miss her. Damn it, did she miss me at all?
She exhales. “Z, don’t get it twisted. I didn’t stay here the entire time.”
My mouth turns down, and unwarranted sarcasm enters my voice. “What was this? The timeout room?”
“No need to be ugly about it,” she states, rubbing at her exposed arms. “Don’t let the room fool you. I experienced hell in this place. No regular meals. A bucket served as my toilet. Hell, I slept on a thin mattress with a ratty old blanket. Timeout room? Please.”
An apology stuck in my throat. I should check my words.
Tru continues, her voice growing caustic. “They played with my mind. Spiders… they tried to freeze a confession out of me.”
I feel like an ass. I sit across from her. My body tenses. Griffin said they’d toy with her mind, but what the hell did they do to her? The longer she sits, the jumpier she gets.
Her eyes dart around the room, unfocused. She clasps her hands together and lowers her voice. “Did you know they tracked you? I watched you come close to being arrested more than once. Holden enjoyed being a perverted puppeteer.”
Fuck! That twisted bastard probably had authorities watching my every move. And the run-ins I had… Wait till I get my hands on him. I clench my fists.
Tru doesn’t notice my anger. She closes her eyes. “Holden wanted us married. I pretended I wanted it, too. You know, his room is identical to this one. Just different colors.”
Her face crinkles in annoyance. I watch her wipe tears away with the back of her hand.
It pains me to see her this way. At the safe house, she seemed all right, but coming back here demolishes the masquerade. My girl’s been through hell. Will I be able to put her back together again?
“Did you…” My voice trails off. I rub the back of my neck. I’ll kill the SOB if he hurt her.
Tru opens her eyes and focuses on something across the room. Her eyes meet mine and she says with a hint of apprehension, “You said you didn’t want to know.”
My nails dig into the chair’s soft leather. I’m speechless.
She clears her throat and averts her eyes. “No. We…we didn’t share a bed. He didn’t approach me.”
Pain hangs on my girl like an oversized sweater. What did he do to her? My heart is heavy. I should have been here sooner. I wasted valuable time.
She’s alive. That’s what matters. It’s all I should care about. Keep telling yourself that.
It takes almost more courage than I possess when I say, “Tru, it’s okay. I don’t—”
“Good,” she chokes out the word. “It’s in the past, and I’d like to forget it.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”
&nb
sp; She ignores me and says flatly, “When your mother volunteered to act as the mother of the bride, I moved in here with her.”
Nice gesture. How did it serve my mother’s agenda? Thanks to all the shit from my father, I have doubts regarding my mother. Can I trust a woman who willingly faked her death and left her only child alone?
Tru’s eyes brightened as if she’d moved beyond a bad memory. “Zared, you may not believe it, but your mom’s choice kept her alive. I told you Malcolm wanted her dead. If she could have prevented leaving you behind, she would have.”
This place must do a great brainwashing job. Tru actually sounds like she believes her own words… my mother’s words. “But she did,” I counter.
Tru shrugs. “Maybe she figured your father loved you enough to stick by your side.”
Too late to ask my father if he loved me. Best to put thoughts of him on a back burner. Instead, I ask, “What did you say to that guard earlier?”
“I told him who you were,” she replies. “Your mom’s in charge here, but she’s nothing like your father.”
I want Tru to stop talking about the man. I need to forget what I did, but it’s a moot point. I still need to tell my mother what happened. Not a conversation a child should have with a parent.
“Z?” she asks, studying me. I know that look. Hell, does she fear me? Where do I find absolution? I’d never hurt Tru. She should realize that my angry outbursts are reserved for men like my father… and Griffin. I’m in control.
I sit beside her and draw her into my arms. “I’m fine, babe.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. No need to worry,” I glance into her warm brown eyes. “I’d never hurt you. There are some individuals, though, who won’t be as lucky.”
Tru rests her head on my chest. “I know, but your mother isn’t one of those people. She helped me a lot.”
“Sounds like you and Mom became friends.”
“I think we did. Well, after I stopped referring to her as La Mohína,” she chuckles.
“What?”
Tru sits up. “When I first met Taa, she didn’t smile.”
I cock my head to the side. “First name basis?”
She nods.
Hearing the two of them are on good terms makes me happy. She needs it. My mother might fill the gap for Tru… if she can be trusted, that is.
“What happens next?” I ask.
She purses her lips for a moment. “No clue. I’m guessing the guard’s bringing your mom here.”
Not good. I need more time to prepare for this reunion.
“Oh, and Zared?” Tru stares at me.
I lift an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Maybe we should get you cleaned up before you see your mom,” she suggests with a smile on her pretty face.
“Are you a good citizen? Report on your Inoculation Day.”
—An announcement from the Centers for Human Advancement
Tru
Zared’s pacing shatters my nerves, but I understand it. He hasn’t seen his mom in… what… four years? Although she didn’t abandon him like his father did, I can sense it frustrates him. I can’t imagine spending years without parents, and then one day have them re-enter my life. I hope this reunion fares better than the last one, though.
The door creaks open, and Taa enters. I assume she’s dressed for travel—jeans, sweater, and boots. With her hair pulled back, she appears younger. They deserve privacy, but where can I go? I settle for sitting at the computer desk in the corner.
“Zared?” He stops pacing as she approaches.
He looks puzzled. Taa is on the verge of tears. My heart thuds wildly. I want for their reunion to go well. Zared deserves it. He needs it. Taa opens her arms wide and waits for him. Zared’s eyes darken momentarily, and I fear this won’t end well. But then he surprises me and steps into her embrace.
“We have so much to talk about, Zared,” Taa says. “It’ll have to wait a little longer, though.”
Zared pulls away from her. “Why? What’s going on?”
She looks over at me. “I told you that Holden and Shara are missing. We’re searching the compound for them right now. I have to interrogate the others that came with you. The two of you are welcome to stay here. If you don’t want to, I’ll have to insist you go to a holding cell.”
“What aren’t you telling us, Taa?” I ask, moving closer to her.
Taa ignores my question. “Here or a cell?”
Zared squeezes my hand. “Can I come with you?”
“No,” I refuse. “I’m not staying here without you.”
“Zared, it’s fine,” Taa says. “I need to see how the search is going. Why don’t you two spend some time together?”
It’s nice of Taa to give us some time alone, but I don’t think I’m ready for it. Being back in Taa’s room floods my mind with memories—entrusting her, meeting Shara, and my night with Holden.
Mom once told me that sharing bad memories erased them. You couldn’t share them with just anyone, though. It had to be the person who mattered most to you. Divulging my secrets to Zared, however, means facing a reality I don’t want to acknowledge. Not yet anyway. Finally, I understand why my mother chose lies over truth.
Besides, I saw the look of scorn flash across Holden’s face. Even without telling him, he knows something happened between Holden and me. Would he think less of me if he knew the truth? I wish I could fade into the background and forget all of this.
I won’t pile my indiscretions on top of Zared’s guilt. Killing his father hurt him greatly. How could it not? Witnessing my mother’s murder scorched me to my core, staining my soul with a deep down hatred for the person responsible. Some secrets shouldn’t be shared.
Lying to protect others is new for me. That, and wishing harm on people. Now, I embrace thoughts of harming and killing with no problem at all. Will I ever accept the new me? I guess I have no choice but to learn to live with her.
Holden and Shara being missing scares the crap out of me. Where did he take her? Is she hurt? Shara needed protecting. If he’s done anything to her…
“You okay, babe?” Zared asks.
My body and mind are screaming for comfort, but seeking it from Zared now seems… wrong. I lie, “Yeah, I’m good.”
Fear clutches my heart. Would Zared touch me and know I betrayed him? He holds out his arms, and I reluctantly enter his embrace. I lay my head on his chest, immersing myself in his warmth. I have to get past this, or what we have will forever be just a memory.
Zared’s hands slide down my waist and rest on my hips. “What’s bothering you?”
I don’t dare tell him. It doesn’t matter that Holden is a depraved person who breached my trust. Zared will blame me. After all, I didn’t fight.
“Tru?” He’s rubbing small circles on my back waiting for an answer.
“Nothing’s bothering me.” It’s time to move on. “How are you after seeing your mom?”
“Fine. Are you sure you’re okay?” Concern drips off his words.
Deflecting, I say, “I should ask you that question.”
“I’m fine. A little tired, but no need to worry.”
Wrong answer. Worrying overwhelms my mind these days. I recall Zared’s reaction to stress, and it worries me more than anything. He has to stay in control. It’s how you get to leave this place—stay calm… think… stay strong.
Reality catches up with me. My heart is beating so fast, I’m breathless. I can’t do this without telling him. But then he’ll hate me, and I can’t handle that, either. I step out of his embrace. My chest caves in, and tears cascade down my cheeks. I turn away from him. Damn. Zared doesn’t need to see me lose it.
“Tru…” He lays a hand on my shoulder.
“Give me a minute,” I choke out.
Zared puts his arms around my waist and draws me into his chest. “Babe, I’m here now. It’s going to be all right.”
No. It won’t be all right. His being here is not some banda
ge covering a wound. I’ve been through hell and back and there’s so much more road ahead of me. “You don’t understand, Z.”
“Then help me understand,” he urges.
How can I help him understand when I don’t? I’m angry at myself and everyone responsible for putting me in this spot. I don’t want to feel this way, but our world is a cruel one, bending us, transforming us into people we don’t recognize. I want to scream, rip shit apart. Tears are safer.
“Don’t worry about it,” I utter.
“Secrets, babe” he whispers in my ear.
No fair tossing my words back at me. I lean my head against his chest. “Really, it’s nothing for you to worry about. I’ve just been through a lot of shit. It’s going to take me a minute, that’s all.”
He rubs my arms. “That I understand. Tell you what, when we leave this place, let’s keep going. Put all this BS behind us.”
This guy who has my heart still wants to run from the problems we face. He just doesn’t know that we can’t escape this world nor hide from what our leaders are planning.
“No, Zared. There’s no running away from it. We have to deal with it, or it will deal with us,” I say firmly.
He drops his hands. The subsequent chill is unwelcome, isolating.
“What are you talking about?” he asks.
I face him. “We’ve started something, Z. The world changed when I uploaded Intrepid and the message. There will be a response. It’s coming. Just wait.”
He tilts his head to the side. I should tell him everything right now. But he doesn’t have to know how much of a monster his father was. Once we get out of this place and plan our next move, I’ll tell him about Operation Restore and the Helix. It’s not lying if I don’t tell him. Yeah, keep telling yourself that one. Sins of omission still cast lasting scars.
“Z, I’ve changed,” I continue. “I’m not the same reckless girl anymore. You might not love this new me.”
He curls his arm around my waist and tugs me close to him. “I admit we’ve both been through a helluva lot. None of it changes how I feel about you, though. I love you.” He touches my cheek.