“So you’re not an angel,” I said. Frankly, it made me feel a little better about myself. Because if he wasn’t really an angel, I didn’t have to feel squicky about thinking lustful things about him. And if I decided to smack him upside the head for being difficult, I wouldn’t be damned for that either.
“No. Sorry,” he said, and it didn’t sound like he was lying. It did, however, sound like his head might pop off at any moment from the pressure. He was practically hopping from one foot to the other like he had to go to the bathroom. The whole situation was getting increasingly more ridiculous, and I had to bite back a snort of laughter. “Can I go now? The longer I wait, the more uncomfortable I get. And the more uncomfortable I get, the more of a dick I become. It’s a vicious cycle.”
“I believe it.” I sighed. “Well, that’s that. I’m tagging along.”
He shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry, Casey. I thought I already told you; you didn’t make the team. I tried, but no one would listen to me after you fainted.”
“So I’ll be your guest. Or your assistant. Or the girl who won’t stop following you until you tell her what the heck is going on. Take your pick.”
“I don’t really have much choice, do I?” he grumbled.
“Good Sentinel.” I patted him on the head, or tried to. He ducked out of the way, knocking my hand to one side. “Actually, hold on a sec. Let me change into some clean clothes and then we can go.”
He rolled his eyes and dropped onto the sodden couch. “Aw, crap!” He leapt back up to his feet, brushing at the damp spot on his shorts. Even with everything that had happened, I couldn’t help but laugh as I climbed the stairs.
Michael’s motorcycle was parked in our extra spot. That was one thing I hated about living in a town house; it was hard to convince your parents to buy you a car when you only got two parking spaces. Rachel had offered to leave her Mini, but I’d felt guilty taking her transportation when I didn’t have anywhere to go.
The only problem with the bike was that we couldn’t talk en route to the Skate Lake. But it gave me a chance to come up with questions. After twenty, I made myself stop and enjoy the sensation of snuggling against the hard muscles of his back. He might have been a Sentinel—whatever that was—but he was a Sentinel in a hot teenage body, and that had to count for something. Especially since I hadn’t had many close encounters with hot teenage bodies. Or hot bodies of any age, really. And it mostly kept me from obsessing over questions I had no idea how to answer. Mostly.
When he pulled to a stop next to the Skate Lake doors, I released my grip on his shirt with reluctance. My cheek had been so comfortable nestled up against the soft fabric. I could have driven around town for hours, losing myself in the wind that whipped around his body and in the roar of the motor. It felt very peaceful, that bike ride.
“So I wanted to ask—”
I didn’t even get the whole sentence out before Ruthanasia burst through the doors. She wasn’t in derby uniform today but still wore enough eye makeup to cover an entire showgirl chorus. I couldn’t help it; I stuck my tongue out at her. Not the most mature of choices, but it was better than slugging her in the face, which was my only other idea.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded. “You know you’re not on the team, right?”
Her expression of triumph felt like a slap in the face. I tried to tell myself she didn’t know how important making the team had been to me, but she had to know her words hurt. She just didn’t care. So I didn’t hold back. I retaliated with the thing I knew would bother her most.
“I know,” I said. “Michael and I are going on a date tonight, remember?”
She glared at me, her brows drawing down into an angry furrow. I couldn’t resist lacing my arm around his and leaning against his shoulder with a moony look on my face. It might have been a little over the top, but she bought it. She looked about ready to blow. Michael glanced between the two of us with an expression of dawning horror, like he’d realized belatedly that something was happening and he might not want to be in the middle of it. Too late, dude.
“Kent, I swear to God,” Ruthanasia began, stepping forward with clenched fists.
Michael disengaged himself from my clutches with more grace than I would have given him credit for and intercepted her before she could get any closer. “Everybody chill out, okay? It took a lot of work to set up these extra practices, and we need to use the time wisely. Unless you want the Tilt-a-Girls to kick our butts in our next bout?”
Ruthanasia’s eyes snapped to him, looking for a fight, but she didn’t find one. “Yeah,” she said, shooting me a nasty glare, “you’re probably right. Some of us actually have things to do around here.”
I tried not to envy her as I followed them through the doors. I tried not to feel like a useless weakling who had nothing better to do than pick arguments all the time. I tried, but I failed.
Once inside, Michael and Ruthanasia went off to do their official derby thing. I didn’t have anything to do, so I went to the counter and was ordering a soda when Darcy rushed up and nearly knocked me over with a tackle hug.
“Oh my God,” she said, “I’m so glad to see you! I have all your stuff in my car. Are you okay? What happened?”
I blinked, trying to sort out all the words and figure out which ones I was supposed to answer. I settled for, “I’m okay. Congratulations. I take it you made the team?”
“Yeah.” She grinned. “I still can’t believe it.”
“Do you have my skates?”
“Yeah. Are you skating today? Yay!” She clapped her hands, bouncing on her toes. “I’ll go get your stuff!”
Off she dashed, so fast that she actually tripped over her own foot before righting herself and heading out the doors. I wouldn’t have believed it possible, but she was even more manic now that she’d made the team.
I sat down on a bench and began taking off my Chucks, because I wasn’t going to sit around feeling sorry for myself again. I was going to train my butt off so that when the next tryout came, I’d make the team. Sure, I was still afraid of what would happen if I failed. But I was even more frightened of what would happen to me if I stopped trying. I’d fought through chemo; it was just a matter of figuring out how to fight this. I had to.
“What are you doing?” Michael ambled over and sat down next to me.
“Well,” I said, “these are shoes, and when you pull these long stringy things, they come loose so you can take them off. You probably don’t know this stuff, since you’re not human and all.”
“Quiet!” he hissed, putting a finger to my lips. “Someone might hear.”
“Yeah, and they’d think I was teasing you. You’ve got to lighten up.”
He took a long breath and let it out slowly. “I know. I’m just neurotic as all hell right now. I’ve never outed myself before.”
“Now it’s my turn to hush you,” I said. “Or people really will get the wrong idea.”
That earned me a grin. “Maybe I should reword that. Anyway, you’re the first person I’ve told ever since I got this body.”
“Why?” I frowned. The door opened, and I was sure Darcy was about to dash in and cut the conversation short, but it was Ragnarocker. She flashed me an approving thumbs-up before grabbing her knapsack and heading back out. At least two people were happy to see me, because everyone else was looking awfully worried that I might try to crash the practice and faint all over everything. “Give me something to tide me over, because the curiosity is killing me.”
He leaned closer, and the door opened again. In flew Darcy with my backpack slung over one shoulder. I was hoping she’d trip again to buy us a few seconds, but I wasn’t going to hold my breath.
“I train demon hunters,” he said quickly. “And you faced a demon and lived.”
“The guy who cried fire?” I asked, and Michael nodded. I didn’t have any problems thinking of that guy as a demon. In fact, it felt good to have a name to put to him. It meant I wasn’t crazy,
for starters.
“How did you know?” I hissed.
Just as Darcy returned, he shot a significant look at the silver katana still hanging around my neck. “That necklace of yours zaps demons,” he murmured in my ear.
She walked up with an unusually subdued expression. “Here, Casey.” Then she took a furtive glance at Michael and plopped down on the bench opposite us. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. Are you on the team, then?” She looked hopeful.
“Nope.” I shook my head sadly. “I’m going to find a corner and practice on my own. I promise to stay out of the way.”
“You don’t give up, do you?” Michael said.
I thought of all the times I’d been tempted to quit, all the times I’d pushed people away, all the times I’d second-guessed myself or joked to avoid the uncomfortable truth. Near-death experiences give you way too much self-awareness, and I didn’t always like what I’d learned about myself. But I’d made stubbornness into an art form. Maybe I hadn’t made the team, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t a derby girl. I wasn’t dead yet.
“Nope,” I said.
I unzipped the bag and pulled out my skates. The wait was annoying, but I’d get my answers. I still wasn’t sure what to believe, but if demons were real, I’d need all the physical conditioning I could get. I had gotten over my fears of the robbery by preparing with ninjutsu. Now it was time to get over the demon thing. I had more reason than ever to rediscover my inner ass kicker. Because if someone was going to take that lava guy down, I had dibs.
The team worked on jammer and pack drills before the scrimmage, and I wanted to jump in so badly, even though I knew I couldn’t. My legs shook after just a few hockey stops in my isolated corner. I’d earned those shakes fair and square after pushing so hard at tryouts, but I still wanted to beat my thighs with my fists and tell them to get with the program already. But it wouldn’t do me any good to drive myself into unconsciousness again. I forced myself to work on quality, not quantity; at least my technique was good.
Ruthanasia scowled every time she happened to look in my direction, but I didn’t care. The skeptical looks the rest of the team kept shooting me really bothered me, though. “Do people hate me for being here?” I asked during one water break, when Ragnarocker rolled past.
She frowned thoughtfully, wiping sweat from her forehead. “What makes you say that?”
“I’m getting a lot of glares from the masses.”
“Ah.” She shrugged. “Some of the girls think you’re getting special treatment because of whatever you’ve got going with Michael.”
I swallowed the irate retort that rose immediately to my lips. Everyone else’s opinions weren’t her fault. “And you? What do you think?”
She grinned. “I think someone with the balls to keep showing up like you do deserves some respect. Besides, I figure if I butter you up enough, you might eventually teach me those aerial tricks of yours.”
I had to smile back. She was my kind of person; what you saw was exactly what you got. “Keep buttering. I’ll teach you eventually.”
“A girl can dream,” she said. “But for now, this girl is going to get a drink.” And she skated away.
In the scrimmage, Ruthanasia scored a double grand slam while I tried to focus on learning strategy and not on trying to make her spontaneously combust with the power of my mind. After it was over, I asked Michael if he wanted help with all the cones. Darcy and Ruthanasia both looked dismayed when he said yes. I felt bad about Darcy.
“I’ll give you a call later, Darce,” I said. “Maybe we can get together after school tomorrow.”
“All right,” she replied reluctantly. “See you later.”
She trudged out the doors, looking more dejected than she had reason to. Although, maybe she’d been disappointed by more than my failure to hang out with her; she’d been stuck blocking the whole time, and I knew how much she wanted to jam. I felt like a pretty crappy friend after I realized that. I’d been so wrapped up in my own drama that I hadn’t thought about anyone but myself. I’d definitely have to make it up to her.
Everyone else trickled out slowly, like they had no idea I was waiting to get the scoop on demonkind and might explode from the pressure if the delay went on much longer. Finally the doors closed behind Ragnarocker, who called out “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” just as they swung shut.
“I’m not sure there’s anything she wouldn’t do.” I grinned.
“I don’t know firsthand, but I suspect you’re right,” Michael said, walking out to the perimeter of the rink and picking up a cone.
“So.” I glanced around one last time to make sure we were alone. The only person left in the place was the guy behind the snack bar counter, and he was watching bowling on TV. I got bored just thinking about it. “How does one hunt demons, and what do you do with them when you catch them? Besides throwing demon-zapping necklaces at them, I mean.”
He straightened up with another cone in hand and a somewhat dumbfounded expression on his face. “That’s it? Aren’t you going to question my sanity?”
“I’ve had some time to think about this, and I saw what I saw. I can’t deny the physical evidence. That thing burned me. So I’m not saying I totally believe you, but it’s the best explanation I’ve heard so far.”
“Wow.” He sat down right in the middle of the rink. “Okay.”
“Talk.” I dropped down next to him and started taking off my gear. It felt so good to get the pads off my knees, which sported some nice greenish bruises from all the burpees. It was hard to believe that it had been only a day ago; so much had changed since then.
“Well, a Sentinel’s an avatar of balance. Normally we live in the Between—that’s the space between the physical and nonphysical planes. Our job is to preserve the balance between the two. If the universe goes too far out of balance, everything goes kablooie. Seriously. All existence, total annihilation.”
“That’s bad.”
“No kidding.” He flashed a grin at me. “So we keep an eye on things. Like, if one of the Elder Gods emerges from deep space and tries to devour a planet, we intervene, because that would screw up the balance. That’s my job. Occasionally one of the Sentinels gets a little too involved in the physical world. And that throws him out of whack.”
I nodded, stretching out my aching legs. It was too late to avoid muscle pain; I was definitely feeling yesterday’s burpees, but at least I could keep it from getting worse. “Go on.”
“The rules help us to stay in balance while we’re here. I’m still new—only apprentice level—so I’m assigned to an older Sentinel who helps me get used to things like having a body. Which is so weird. Anyway, once a Sentinel gets off-kilter, he starts consuming energy like mad, trying to get back into balance. But that usually just makes it worse. He wants more and more, and he becomes a creature no longer dedicated to protecting the universe but to eating it. A creature of total hunger.”
“A demon.”
He nodded, his face pinched and sad-looking.
“Can you fix them?” I asked.
“Not once they’ve crossed the line. The only thing we can do is take them out. But that comes with its own set of problems.” At my inquiring glance, he said, “I like to fight. I like to move. Having a body, it’s … intoxicating, and I’ve got a lot of power at my fingertips. If I decided to indulge, there wouldn’t be much that could stop me. And demons try to manipulate everyone around them. If they used my desires against me, there’s a decent chance I could end up just like them. If I let them jerk my chain, my balance goes haywire, and poof.”
“Instant demon.” I let out a long breath, toying with my skate. “That sucks.”
“But someone like you, someone who can reach through to the nonphysical, you could do it.” Excitement was clear on his face and in his voice. “I mean, if you wanted to. I could teach you. That’s why I’m here, to find people like you who can reach across the Between.”
“And train us to fight th
e forces of darkness?”
“Bingo.”
“Well …” I spoke slowly, considering my words. “No offense meant, but I’m not entirely sure I believe all this. It’s a lot to swallow. But I’m still listening.”
“That’s fair.” He held out a hand. “Then I guess I should show you something.”
“You’re going to burn somebody else’s house down, aren’t you?” My hand went to the front of my shirt. I could feel the healing scabs underneath. The burns had gone deep, and it seemed like my body didn’t heal as fast as it used to.
Old Casey would have signed up to fight demons in a heartbeat. Now I knew how fragile life really was. I knew how much I had to lose, and I’d come way too close to losing it already. Either I was wiser now or I was a total coward, but signing up to fight the lava crier didn’t seem like something I should just jump into without thinking it over first.
“Relax. I won’t burn anything. And it’s safe to touch me. I’ll make sure not to …” He waved his hands around vaguely. “Pop you out again.”
“I’m not convinced,” I replied, but I put my hand in his. The contact was tentative at first, but my hair didn’t light on fire and I didn’t get thrust out of my body like I had the last time we’d touched. So I folded my fingers over his and held on tight. He pulled me up to my feet.
“I should put some shoes on. Unless this mysterious sight is in the locker room?”
He snorted. “No.”
We got back on the bike, and he drove past my street, away from the university. It wasn’t a direction I normally went; in fact, I made a point not to go down Washington at all. After about two blocks, the neighborhood quickly disintegrated into Slumville. The last time I’d been down this way was almost two years ago, and I’d stepped on a used syringe and a homeless guy in a cardboard box. Neither were experiences I wanted to repeat. So when Michael pulled into a gas station and turned off the bike, I was less than thrilled. I followed him onto the sidewalk, but I wasn’t happy about it.
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