by Laura Ward
Reynolds eased his way out of the stall, and Griffin looked ready to wail as he watched him go. Reynolds entered the empty stall next to Betsy and climbed over the wall.
“Slowly raise your arm and take my hand.” Griffin stared at the still panicked horse but raised his arm and met Reynolds hand. I took a deep breath, hoping the horse wouldn’t rear again as he was being raised up.
Reynolds spoke softly to Betsy and stroked her with one hand gently, while lifting Griffin over the wall. As soon as he had cleared the stall, Griffin jumped down and ran over to me and his brothers. I hugged him as hard as I could, while Reynolds secured the door to Betsy’s stall.
“I’m sorry, Griff. Sorry, Reynolds. I was trying to be funny. It won’t happen again.” Grayson was distraught, watching the scene unfold and his older brother’s anxiety. Reynolds went right to Grayson and Hayden and knelt down.
“This wasn’t your fault, guys. You were having fun, and Betsy got spooked. She wouldn’t have hurt your brother. I wouldn’t have let that happen. But it’s a good lesson. Betsy is a big animal, and she must be treated with respect.”
“Right, don’t laugh at her poops. Got it.” Grayson spoke with gravity, and we all cracked up laughing. It was a great end to the tense experience.
Reynolds turned to Griffin, still in my arms. “You okay?”
Griffin looked at Reynolds with a shy smile. “I’m fine. Thanks.”
Reynolds grinned up at me and then looked back at Griffin. “Do me one favor. Don’t let this keep you from riding again. Don’t let one mistake, one scary moment, keep you from anything in life.”
Griffin nodded and looked at Betsy. “Nah that was too much fun. I’d like to go riding again if that’s okay, Reynolds?”
Reynolds beamed at Griffin and stood up. “For sure, Atwater men! For sure!” We left the barn laughing, and I looked at Reynolds, feeling at ease and allowing myself to believe that I could be comfortable around a man other than Jack. It wasn’t a huge step, but it was a step in the right direction.
After saying goodbye to Reynolds, we came home to shower and eat dinner. I had just tucked the boys in and was pouring myself a glass of chardonnay when I heard my phone ping with a text.
Reynolds: I had the best day. Thanks for including me.
Me: So did we. I love, love the horses.
Reynolds: You’re a natural rider.
I snickered when I read “rider.” Why did I have such a dirty mind? And why had I wanted to write back, ‘You have no idea’? Get it together Liz. He doesn’t think of you that way, and you shouldn’t think of him in that way! You can’t be the person you were with Jack ever again. Not happening.
I texted back a more mature and appropriate response.
Me: Thank you for helping Griffin. You were wonderful with him. My parents and David are coming to brunch tomorrow. Will you join us?
As soon as I pressed send, my stomach tightened. Was this too much? Brunch with my family? I didn’t want him to feel pressured to come or spend all his time with us, but he was here in Baltimore, all alone. I didn’t want to abandon him and if he was with my family tomorrow, they could answer questions for him, and he could learn more about David. After all, we were just friends.
Without a doubt. For sure. Yup. Only buddies.
Reynolds: I would love it. Sleep well. Sweet dreams.
Me: You too.
I closed my phone before I could add anything stupid. Sleep. What I needed to do was go to sleep.
Brunch with my family was one of my simple joys. Once Mass ended, the boys and I met my parents, David, and Reynolds back at the house. After quick introductions, I finished preparing the food while everyone chatted. The boys were filling my parents in on the previous day’s soccer games and horseback riding, while David and Reynolds talked on the couch.
“It’s nice to see you again, David.” Reynolds seemed comfortable around my brother, and my brother appeared to feel the same way.
“You’re in movies?” David loved to go to the movie theater. I wasn’t sure if it was more the buttered popcorn and soda or the featured flick, but it was one of his favorite treats.
“I’ve acted in quite a few movies, but now I’m working with your sister on writing a movie. It’s even better.” Reynolds winked at me from across the kitchen, and my heart beat just a bit faster.
“Yeah, my sister’s the coolest. You have a girlfriend?” David was nothing if not blunt. It was one of my favorite parts of his personality. We didn’t waste time with idle chit-chat. We got right down to business.
“No, I don’t anymore. But I think I heard that you have a new girlfriend. And I heard she’s very pretty.” Reynolds gently elbowed David as he studied the floor with an embarrassed grin.
“Yeah. She’s…awesome. Just awesome.” I watched my brother’s face as he thought about Meg. One of the many charming qualities about my brother was that he didn’t mask his emotions like many of us tended to do. When he was irate, the storm clouds ripped across his face. When remorseful, his face rippled with pain. And when he was excited, well, the look of bright and clear sunshine on him warmed me to the core.
I listened, assembling the fruit salad, as David talked about Meg to Reynolds. He had met her at a dance at their local YMCA held for people with special needs. He had called me bright and early the next morning to fill me in. They had exchanged phone numbers, had talked each day after that, and had gone out for pizza. David was anxiously awaiting a chance to share their first kiss.
Watching David ask Reynolds for dating tips, I was again reminded that I was not the only one who missed Jack. David loved calling Jack, be it to say good night, discuss the Ravens game, or for advice. The enormity of the loss of Jack continued to hit me over and over again.
“Hello? Liz? We’re dropping by, hoping we’re in time for your famous brunch!” My mother-in-law’s voice rang out, and I hurried to the front door. Nancy and Ed were the best. They were supportive in-laws from the start and made every possible effort to help me and the boys after their son died. I never minded when they stopped by unannounced because I understood why. They were here because they were having a particularly hard day missing their son. Nothing helped liked spending time with their grandsons.
I hugged both of them and brought them into the kitchen. “Look who’s here, everybody! Nana and Papa Atwater surprised us!”
The boys ran up to hug their grandparents, and my parents joined in the hugs and handshakes. “I’m sorry we didn’t call first. We thought we’d surprise you. We missed you all!” Nancy spoke apologetically, but I appreciated their comfort level. They lived an hour away, and it meant the world to me that they would drive here whenever they needed us.
The kitchen grew quiet as Nancy and Ed realized a strange man was here as well. Both of them shuffled back a step and looked at me with an incredulous stare. What in the world? But then it hit me, so very hard. They believed this was my boyfriend. They had to have thought I had moved on and not told them.
Reynolds must have picked up on the tension. He also would have recognized them from family pictures that hung on our walls. He walked forward with an outstretched hand to Ed and then Nancy. “Hello. We haven’t met yet. My name is Reynolds Carter, and I’m working with your daughter-in-law.”
He called me their daughter-in-law and not just Liz. I watched the relief on both Nancy and Ed’s faces.
“I’m sorry I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to you both about this, but I think you’ll be very proud of the project Reynolds and I are working on.” I filled them in on the last week of my life and they went from shock, to elation, to gratitude in a matter of seconds.
“Wait a minute. You are Reynolds Carter. THE Reynolds Carter. Oh my gosh!” Nancy looked pretty darn star-struck for a mature, sixty-five year old woman.
Reynolds chuckled when she gave him a hug. “I am, but I’m thrilled to be meeting THE parents of Jack Atwater. What a phenomenal man you raised.”
The kitchen was silent
. Reynolds looked at me apologetically as everyone in the room took a pause. Reynolds was a mega star, but he just told all of us how much he admired the man who was our hero.
Ed stepped forward and hugged Reynolds as well. Both he and Nancy wiped their eyes. “Thank you for that, young man. Those words mean the world to us.”
“Lizzy Bear, can we eat? I’m starvin’!” Everyone laughed, relishing the break from the emotional silence by David.
We moved into the dining room, where I added seats for my in-laws, and we passed the food. I looked around the table, watching the boys stuff quiche and bacon in their mouths, while making David laugh so hard at their fart jokes, that he almost choked. My parents got to know Reynolds and answered his questions about the disability community, while my in-laws listened, happy to be with us on a day their hearts were especially hurting.
After my family left, the boys, including Reynolds, settled into the family room to play video games before the football game started. The month of October meant fall had arrived. In this family, that meant two things, soccer and football. My boys loved to watch the games with Jack. I didn’t have much technical aptitude, but I made sure they had plenty of “football food,” as they called it.
Reynolds and Griffin played each other in an Xbox game. Griffin beat Reynolds by the skin of his teeth, but he let out a spontaneous cheer and offered him his fist. Reynolds bumped fists and shot me a proud look. Griff wasn’t happy to have Reynolds around, but he wasn’t glaring either. It was a step forward.
The doorbell rang, and I headed to the front of the house. I pulled the door open with a smile, feeling calm and comfortable.
My smile disappeared when I looked into the drop-dead gorgeous, but scowling face, of Kylie Ford.
“WAIT, NO… I’VE almost got the ball. Hold on. That’s it, you’re going down, sucker!” Grayson hollered as he played against me in Soccer 360. He held his controller, but used his elbows, feet, and knees to try and knock my controller out of my hands so he would have an advantage.
“I’ll help you, Gray!” Hayden yelled as he climbed up my body and sat on my shoulders, covering my eyes. I was clearly at a disadvantage, but if I was going down, so were they.
“Hey!” I leaned against the back of the sectional, causing Hayden to topple off my shoulders, laughing hysterically. At the same time, I reached over and grabbed Grayson’s controller, jumping up and holding it high above my head.
“Give it! Get him, Hayden!” Grayson and Hayden tried to climb me like a tree. As soon as they were both were hanging off me, I fell backward onto the couch, squishing them beneath me. I laughed at their muffled giggles and protests and looked up to see Griffin watching from across the room. He bit his lip to hold back his smile, and his shoulders shook from hiding his laughter. I raised an eyebrow at him playfully, and he hurled a pillow at my head before I could duck.
I couldn’t help but think of my life in L.A. On a Sunday afternoon, I’d probably be nursing a hangover and trying to motivate myself to workout. Kylie would be shopping, getting her nails done, or sleeping. If I caught a football game, I watched it alone, in my white living room, while answering emails. Today with these boys, I was having fun and roughhousing like a regular guy. If I was honest with myself, I didn’t want it to stop.
I was pulled from my male bonding moment when I heard a loud voice from the front door. Goose bumps rose on my skin, and I cursed—in my head. Fuck. I knew that screech all too well. I hurried toward the sound as fast as I could.
Liz stood in the doorway, her arms spread across the threshold, not letting Kylie enter her house. Kylie continued to try and edge her way in past Liz.
“I’m sorry, but you’re not welcome here. Not like this and not right now,” Liz said.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” Kylie wagged her finger in Liz’s face.
“Excuse me?” Liz was calm and her voice void of any emotion. “I know exactly who I am and this is my home. You need to leave right now.”
“What the fuck are you doing here, Kylie?” The words hissed through my gritted teeth. I looked over my shoulders to make sure the boys weren’t within hearing distance.
“What the fuck are you doing in the middle of nowhere, Rey Rey? And who the hell is this?” Kylie scanned Liz from top to bottom and rolled her eyes. “Are you playing house with some fucking old, single mom?” Kylie shook her head in disbelief, and her large chandelier earrings jingled. Once again, she was dressed as if she was hoping to run into paparazzi. Stiletto heels, skin-tight jeans, and a very skimpy halter top in the suburbs. What the hell was wrong with this chick?
Liz took a step back and drew her hand to her neck. I rested my hand on her back. I needed to reassure her that I was here, and no one would hurt her. Maybe even more importantly, I wanted to placate the mothering instinct that was about to bubble over. She would rip Kylie’s head off if Kylie made another move to enter her home.
“Listen to me. There are children here. Outside. Now!” I grabbed Kylie’s boney arm and ushered her out the front door and onto the sidewalk. With a quick glance over my shoulder, I motioned for Liz to follow. Kylie wrangled out of my grip and whipped around to face me. I crossed my arms over my chest and narrowed my eyes. “How did you find me here?” Not even the paparazzi had tracked me down.
She rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t hard. I just got Paul drunk and told him I needed to talk to you.”
Paul. I was going to kick my manager’s ass.
Kylie looked around the neighborhood and wrinkled her nose at the pots of mums and pumpkins on Liz’s front porch. “He was worried about you being out here in Bumfuck, too.”
“Watch yourself.” My voice dropped dangerously and was laced with anger. “I don’t owe you any explanations for why I’m here. You can get the fuck out. Now.” I took a step backward, and she took a step toward me. She reached her hand to my cheek and stroked it.
I inhaled and closed my eyes when she touched me. Not because I missed her touch, but because I needed to stay calm and collected. I wanted to throw her onto the street, but I didn’t want to scare Liz.
“Rey Rey, I need to talk to you. Can you give us a minute?” She sneered at Liz, and I balled my fists at the blatant disrespect she was showing her.
“No way, Kylie…”
Liz cut me off. “Reynolds, it’s fine. I understand. I’ll give you some time.”
I reached for Liz’s elbow to keep her from leaving, but she was too quick. Kylie grabbed the front of my shirt at the same time, and I faced her, shaking with anger and irritation.
“What the hell do you want?”
Her face paled at my words. Kylie wasn’t used to anything other than admiration and attention.
“You’ve had your break, Rey Rey. I’ve given you space. I miss you, and I love you. You need me. We’re the best couple in Hollywood. I fucked up. I know that. It’s never as hot as it is with you, baby. You make me feel so good.” Kylie purred the last words, stroking her hands down the front of my chest, hoping to turn me on like she used to. She had no idea that her words did just the opposite.
“Too little, too late, Kylie.” I shook my head, my mouth twisted downward. “I don’t do sloppy seconds, and you showed me that all we ever had was a mistake. I don’t love you anymore, if it ever even was love. You need to leave. Now.”
“Sloppy seconds?! What the hell do you think that little trollop is?” Kylie gave a disgusted snort, flinging her hands toward the front door. “What the fuck? You can do better than that! She’s bad for my reputation, honey.” She laughed. “You need to find a hot rebound before you come back to me.”
A growl escaped me, and I had to remember she was a female. And I treated all females with respect. Even the bitchy ones.
“You have no idea who that woman is.” I took a step closer to Kylie, my voice raw, and her eyes widened. “She’s a thousand times more desirable than you. It’s fucking hilarious to me that you don’t get that.” I pointed toward her and she stepped ba
ckwards. “You’re nothing like her. You don’t deserve to be near her. Now get your motherfucking ass out of my sight before I lose it.” Thankfully Liz wasn’t nearby to hear me. I didn’t want her to know the truth. She was not at all ready to hear me say I thought of her that way. She’d run for the damn hills. I moved back to the front door and gripped the handle until my fingers hurt.
Kylie walked backwards in the grass, wobbling as her stilettos got stuck in the soft surface. “Fine. You need more time. I get it.” My head cocked to the side, eyebrows raised. “You know where I’ll be, and you know what only I can do for you. You’ll come to your senses and come back to me. You don’t belong here.”
I returned to the house, slammed the door shut, and then leaned my head against it. Five minutes ago, I was wrestling with the boys, feeling more carefree and happy than I could remember. But that wasn’t the real me. Kylie was right. She had come here, to my safe place, and reminded me of what I already knew was the truth.
My life wasn’t here in suburbia, watching football games, eating family dinners, and riding horses.
My life was in L.A.
MY HAND NEVER left my neck, and I felt my pulse racing. I probably shouldn’t have stayed in the hallway where I could hear them outside, but this was my home. I had needed to protect my family, and I had needed to make sure Reynolds was who he said he was. What if he had been using me or trying to trick me into thinking he was a good guy? What I had never thought I’d hear was him defend me and call me desirable.
Why had Kylie Ford just yelled at me? For being friends with Reynolds? Kylie was a stunning beauty. Why would the thought cross her mind that Reynolds and I could be hooking up together? That’s insane.
He said I was desirable. He said I was desirable? What? I couldn’t wrap my head around that one. What did that even mean? We were partners. We worked together. We were friends. Maybe he was lying to her so she would leave. Or maybe he was trying to make Kylie feel even worse? I felt overheated. There was just no way someone like Reynolds Carter thought that I, plain Liz Atwater, was desirable. No way.