by Linde, K. A.
ALSO BY K.A. LINDE
WRIGHTS
The Wright Brother
The Wright Boss
The Wright Mistake
The Wright Secret
WRIGHT LOVE DUET
The Wright Love
AVOIDING SERIES
Avoiding Commitment
Avoiding Responsibility
Avoiding Intimacy
Avoiding Decisions
Avoiding Temptation
RECORD SERIES
Off the Record
On the Record
For the Record
Struck from the Record
ALL THAT GLITTERS SERIES
Diamonds
Gold
Emeralds
Platinum
Silver
TAKE ME SERIES
Take Me for Granted
Take Me with You
STAND-ALONE
Following Me
BLOOD TYPE SERIES
Blood Type
ASCENSION SERIES
The Affiliate
The Bound
The Consort
Copyright © 2018 by K.A. Linde
All rights reserved.
Visit my website at www.kalinde.com
Cover Designer: Sarah Hansen, Okay Creations., www.okaycreations.com
Photography: Lauren Perry, Perrywinkle Photography, www.perrywinklephotography.com
Editor and Interior Designer: Jovana Shirley, Unforeseen Editing, www.unforeseenediting.com
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
ISBN-13: 978-1948427227
To all those who have lost and learned to find love again.
Contents
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Acknowledgments
About the Author
One
Sutton
My knees hit the ground in front of my husband’s grave.
I clutched a bouquet of white flowers in my hands. Their blooms were bright and full of life, destined to shrivel and die long before their time. Just like my Maverick.
A tear slipped down my face even though I’d sworn I wouldn’t cry. Not today. Not any more days.
A year of crying was enough for me. An endless year of tears brought on by memories, certain smells, the look on my son’s young face, or sometimes from nothing. Just sitting in the car, waiting for the light to change. Not a thing running through my mind. And then the tears would hit.
How cruel could this world be that it would take my husband from me after only a year and a half of being married? Only a year with his son? Only twenty-four short years on this earth?
I placed the bouquet in front of his gravestone and traced my fingers over the engraved lettering.
Maverick Wright. A good husband and father. Gone too soon.
I couldn’t recall if I’d chosen those words. The days and weeks after Maverick had died on the Fourth of July were a blur. My family in and out, Mav’s family hovering, casserole dishes and church services and so much therapy. All I really remembered was holding Jason, crushed to my chest, as we’d buried his father and the love of my life six feet under the earth. Exactly where I was now.
A sob escaped my throat. My hand flew to cover the sound.
“A year,” I whispered. “A whole year without you, Mav.”
It seemed impossible.
Totally impossible to be here today and think that I’d made it that long.
When I’d first found out I was pregnant, everyone had assumed that I’d get rid of it. I had money. I hadn’t needed to be shackled to my college boyfriend because of one little hiccup. But I never considered it. I loved Maverick with all my heart, and the baby had felt inevitable.
Sure, I had been scared as fuck. Terrified that we weren’t ready. Worried about what other people would think. Upset by everyone’s reactions. But I never doubted Maverick. Everyone had spouted bullshit about him knocking me up on purpose for my money, for that bold Wright name that came with so much respect in my hometown of Lubbock, Texas. I’d just known it wasn’t true. Not only had Maverick been completely devoted to me, but I’d also utterly belonged to him. Our nerves had morphed into excitement, and when Jason was born, it was the best day of our lives.
Thirteen months later, Maverick was gone, and suddenly, I was a widow and a single mom.
My life couldn’t have changed more.
“I survived,” I told Maverick, sinking back on my heels. “That’s about as much as I can say. I survived, and Jason survived. I never thought I could do it without you, but…but I did.”
I felt guilty, saying it.
He was gone, and somehow, I was still functioning. Not the same. Not by a long shot. The Sutton Wright who had first married Maverick no more. Yet I was still making it day to day.
“I know you’d want me to be happy. But, God, I miss you every day. Being happy seems like such a stretch. Like, what is happy without you? I want to be able to get back to the good, Mav, but everything hurts. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night to check on Jason, and I think I hear your voice downstairs. I rush down the hall, my heart in my throat, and all I find is an empty living room. And it hits me all over again that you’re…you’re never coming back.”
I pressed my forehead into the grass that had grown over the empty pit where they’d put the casket. My tears stained the earth. I hoped that they reached him down there.
“No one understands,” I told him, confessing my truth. “People don’t get what I feel. All my friends are happy and young and living this beautiful life that we had, and they can’t comprehend what I’m going through. That I’m a shattered mess inside. That just because I can manage a fake smile doesn’t mean I’m okay. Christ, even when I manage a real smile, I’m not okay.
“Annie is still around, of course, and my family. And I made a new friend in the nanny, Jenny. I know we weren’t close in high school, but I’m a different person now. All our friends from Tech,” I said, my chest aching as I remembered the wonderful years we’d spent together at Texas Tech University, “they’re gone. I was too much for them. Eventually, they got tired of my grief. It was easier to avoid me than anything else. They couldn’t comfort me, but it was nice to have people nearby. And, sometimes…it’s easier to have no one. To sit at home alone and feel numb. But I try not to, Mav. I know you’d want me to live. You always said I was so full of life. I don’t know what you’d think of me now.”
I rolled over and lay on back on the grave. I didn’t care who stumbled across me lying there in my black sundress. The stifling hot July sun was streaming down onto my pale skin, which hadn’t seen the sunlight in months. One look at me would probably be enough to convince someone to stay away.
“But I can’t mov
e on. That’s what people say in so many words. God wouldn’t give me more than I could handle. Everything happens for a reason. You’ll find love again.” I pressed my hands into my eyes. I’d been smart enough not to wear mascara to this. “None of those things are comforting. What kind of God would take you from me? What the hell kind of reason could there have been? And do I ever want to find love again?”
I lay there and spilled my heart to him. That was one of the best parts about Maverick; he had always been a great listener. I’d never shut up before, so that had been a great trait. I needed it now more than ever. Who knew that finding my own silence would only make me appreciate him more?
“I want to feel more than this again,” I confessed.
Slowly, I sat up, keeping my back to his grave. I hated saying these words to him, but I needed to. I needed him to know. I needed him to understand. I wasn’t abandoning him. This wouldn’t change how I felt about him. But I needed this.
“You’ll always be a part of me, Maverick. You’ll always hold a piece of my heart. I could never replace you, and I don’t want to. But I think…I think I need more. I’m only twenty-four years old. I can’t stay in this place forever. Moving on is the wrong phrase. All moving on means to me is a plea to stop talking about it. My grief makes others uncomfortable, and they can’t handle it. That’s not my problem. It’s theirs. What I want is…” I choked on finding the right words.
Silently, I slid back around to face him. I couldn’t hide. Not from him. “What I want is to open a new place in my heart. To carry you with me and find a way to keep living. Because, right now, I’m barely making it.”
I wiped a tear from my eye and waited for divine intervention. Something to tell me I was making the right choice. I could already hear all the people judging me for moving on with my life after being a widow for only a year. That wasn’t long enough. Not by a long shot.
But they’d be wrong.
I was still in mourning for Maverick.
I could mourn him and grieve for him and find a way to do more than just survive this cruel fucking world.
I wanted to find a tiny piece of the butterfly inside myself that had once been so joyous. The wings were broken. It couldn’t fly anymore. But, somewhere deep down inside, it needed to heal so that I could spread my wings once more.
“I love you.” I placed a kiss on his tombstone. “I’ll always love you.”
Then, I gingerly got to my feet.
My fingers clenched the heated stone. I wished more than anything that I could hear his voice one more time. Just once.
I didn’t even remember the last thing that he’d said to me a year ago. I’d gotten to the Fourth of July parade early to secure a spot. I’d kissed him good luck, and he’d disappeared for the marathon with my best friend, Annie. A few hours later, he was gone. Heart failure. Undetected heart condition. Nothing could be done.
As if that was a comfort.
“I know what we had was beyond compare. I’ll never have that again. But…maybe I can have something else.” I closed my eyes against the onslaught of emotions. “I’m sorry, Mav. I’m so sorry.”
With a heavy heart, I glanced once more at his gravestone, hoping to see some sign that he understood. But nothing came. He was silent.
If I wanted to find a way to live, I’d have to do it myself.
Just as I’d done everything during the last year.
Without my husband.
Two
David
A year.
A whole year since I’d interviewed to be the CFO of Wright Construction and gotten the hell out of San Francisco. It had been a snap decision, but it was a fucking miracle that I was out of Silicon Valley.
No one had understood why I was so dire to leave. I’d made a name for myself there. With the trajectory I had been on, I could have taken over the town in a few more years. Then, I’d left it all behind. Everyone had thought that I was insane for taking the Wright job.
Maybe they were right.
Not that I cared.
I’d needed a fresh start.
Middle-of-nowhere West Texas seemed as good of a place as any.
I glanced around the desolate terrain from the driver’s seat of my Ferrari. The Wright brothers’ trucks and SUVs dwarfed my shiny red sports car. I couldn’t have felt or looked any more out of place.
A hand slapped down on the roof of my car, startling me out of my thoughts.
“Coming inside or just moping out here all day?” Morgan asked as I rolled down the window.
Morgan Wright was the CEO of Wright Construction and my boss. She was also probably the closest thing to a real friend I’d had in years.
“Probably the latter.”
“Fitting,” she scoffed.
“Where did you come from anyway? I don’t even see your car.” I clicked the door open and stretched my long legs out of the seat. The tiny Ferrari was not conducive for my height, but I couldn’t give it up.
“I’ve been here most of the day. But Patrick just showed up.” She beamed.
“Ah. He’s not tired of you yet?”
Morgan rolled her dark eyes. “Whatever, Calloway. You’re just jealous.”
I shrugged. It wasn’t a lie. Morgan and Patrick had started dating six months ago. For everyone who knew them, it had been a dozen years in the making. That kind of relationship was always to be envied.
Morgan opened her mouth, likely to rag on me again, but my phone started ringing in my pocket. I slipped it out of my gray dress slacks and glanced down at the number. My lips pursed.
“Come into Jensen’s when you’re done, okay?” Morgan said, gesturing to her eldest brother’s mansion.
I nodded, and then she hurried out of the summer heat. With a sigh, I silenced the ringer on my phone and waited for Katherine’s call to go to voice mail. Why the hell is my sister calling?
I hadn’t heard from her in over a year. We weren’t what you would consider close. She was the perfect daughter, and I was…far from the perfect son. It wasn’t a good day when our paths had to cross. Not because I didn’t care for her, but she was always the bearer of bad news. And I didn’t know what she could want from me after such a long stretch of silence.
Nothing good. Nothing I’d want to deal with.
I’d left for a reason, and I’d be just as happy to stay out of it. She already knew that though. No use in beating a dead horse.
A few seconds after the call ended, a notification blinked for a voice mail. I breathed out heavily through my nose and pressed the phone to my ear.
“I know you’re avoiding my call, David. I’m not going to talk about this in a voice mail. Just call me back.” There was a slight pause. “I miss you.”
With a shake of my head, I stuffed the phone back in my pocket. Clickbait voice mail. Well, I was definitely not going to call now. Not when I was about to walk into a Wright party. Especially not on the Fourth of July. Not when today was the day that Sutton was suffering.
And I knew she was.
She had to be.
No one could go through what she had gone through and not be upset on the anniversary of her husband’s death.
By some strange twist of fate, I’d been there on the day it happened. I could only come in for my interview on the weekend of the Fourth of July. Jensen and Morgan had brought me along to the parade. Maverick had collapsed while running a marathon and died that morning.
And, now, I was coveting his wife.
Fuck.
Just…fuck.
I turned back to the house, determined to ignore the conflicted feelings I had for Sutton. That wasn’t what she needed right now.
Three quick horn blasts jolted me before I made it to the door. I swung back around and found Sutton’s blue Audi TT pulling into the driveway. She parked next to my Ferrari, and I admired the sight. The woman had good taste in cars.
She stepped out of the driver’s side and waved. “Hey, David.”
“Sutton,” I said w
ith a head nod in greeting.
Sutton fussed over Jason while his nanny, Jenny, jumped out of the passenger seat with a dessert tray in her hand. Once Jason was on his feet, he ducked out from under Sutton’s arms and raced straight toward me.
“Yes!” he cried dramatically.
I laughed and scooped him up into my arms. Jason was my buddy. Before Sutton had gotten a full-time nanny, I’d babysat for her a couple of times. I knew it was important for her to get out.
Jenny huffed and passed the dessert to Sutton. “I’ll get him.”
“No, Jen!” Jason said, vehemently shaking his head as she approached.
“Come on, Jason. Let’s go get some lunch. You’re hungry, right?”
The kid was always hungry. That was a given.
I gently passed him over to Jenny, and they disappeared inside, leaving me alone with Sutton. That was when I got my first look at her. She was standing in a beam of sunlight. Her brown-to-blonde hair was expertly curled around her shoulders. A thin layer of makeup only enhanced her natural beauty. Her pink lipstick drew my eyes. The black sundress she was wearing was nothing special, yet…she took my breath away.
She was starlight on a cloudless night.
And I directed my sails by her beacon.
“I can carry that for you.” I stepped forward and took the dessert tray out of her hands.
She smiled softly. “Thanks.”
I saw then all the pain she was holding in. Once upon a time, I’d seen a genuine smile from Sutton. A year ago, she’d looked up at me from a blanket on a marathon track, and her radiance had shown through. Her head haloed by light, she had been so full of joy and on top of the world.
Now, her cheeks were hollowed out. She’d lost weight. She was a shell of the butterfly I’d seen that day. Yet still beautiful and surviving and alive. She was getting through one day at a time, and I couldn’t ask for more than that.
Though I wanted to.
A part of me yearned to be the person to put all the pieces back together. To never see her in this much pain again. To get her to smile like that one more time.
But not today.
“You ready?” I asked instead of voicing my swirling thoughts.