“Yeah, happily married.” Tracy gave a labored sigh. “It isn’t like I don’t want it, too, but Dom isn’t ready yet.”
“Have you discussed it?”
“Yeah. He said Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt didn’t get married before having a baby, and if it’s good enough for them it’s good enough for him.”
They spoke for a long time, and in the end, Meghan agreed to smooth the way with their mama if Tracy would call that evening and talk with her.
“You’ll see. Mama will love being a grandma,” Meghan assured her.
“Maybe,” Tracy replied doubtfully.
That evening, when Tracy called, Lila put the call on speaker. By then she had come to grips with the fact that the baby would be born out of wedlock. It wasn’t what she would have wished, but Tracy was her daughter, and that outweighed both her dislike of Dominic and the impropriety of the situation. Keeping these opinions to herself, Lila stuck with expressions of happiness as the three women chatted.
“Perhaps you could come home for a visit,” she suggested.
“We’ve got too much going on right now,” Tracy said, but promised to think about it after the baby was born.
“You just know I’ll be itching to see my grandbaby,” Lila replied.
The conversation lasted a full twenty minutes, and during all that time there was not a single mention of Dominic. By anybody.
In April, Tracy gave birth to a baby boy. She named him Lucas, and he did indeed have her dark hair and eyes. When Meghan received the first picture, it was one of Tracy sitting in the hospital holding the baby in her arms, with Dominic standing beside her, leaning in. They appeared to be a family, married or not.
“You see, Mama,” Meghan said. “They’re happy together. Isn’t that the most important thing?”
Lila nodded reluctantly. “It should be, but I doubt Aunt Phoebe will see it that way.”
Surprise Visit
In the year that followed, Tracy sent countless pictures of Lucas. She marked each milestone with another photo. There was his first smile, his first bath, the day he rolled over, the day he began to crawl, and dozens of selfies showing her with the baby. They’d be squeezed into the picture nose to nose or his cheek squished next to hers. In one, his tiny hand was covering her mouth, and in another his foot was in front of her nose. In all that time there was just one of Dominic holding the baby, and in it, he stood ramrod straight as he flashed a chagrined smile. Lucas looked as if he’d been photoshopped into his daddy’s arms.
On Lucas’s first birthday, Meghan and Lila telephoned Tracy, and the three women talked for nearly an hour.
“We’d love it if you could come home for a visit,” Meghan suggested.
“I’d love it, too,” Tracy replied solemnly, but then she went on to explain that they had too much going on right now, and it wasn’t a good time for her to leave Dominic alone.
Lila’s arms ached to hold the baby, but she was determined not to nag Tracy. “Maybe you could all come for Thanksgiving,” she said wistfully.
“Yeah, maybe.” Tracy’s words were weighted with the sound of doubt.
A few months later, on an ordinary Monday morning when nothing of importance should have been happening, Meghan logged on to the Snip ’N’ Save e-mail and found a message from Tracy. She clicked on it and read the first line, which said in all caps,
DON’T SHOW THIS TO MAMA!
The next paragraph went on to say Dominic got fired from his job and let their health insurance lapse. Tracy wrote:
I’m having it reinstated with that COBRA plan, but in the meantime I’m really worried about Lucas. He’s fourteen months old and hasn’t said a single word. I call to him, and he doesn’t pay one bit of attention.
Margaret, the woman who works with me at Wawa, said she has a friend with a three-year-old son who is autistic, and that’s exactly how he acts. She said boy babies are more prone to autism. Dear God, I hope it’s not that!!!!
I want to have Lucas tested, but I’m afraid of what they might find. Dominic claims nothing’s wrong, but I’m not so sure.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Meghan fired off a response suggesting Tracy bring Lucas to Georgia, and she’d make certain he was tested.
“Don’t worry about the money,” she wrote. “Mama and I will cover it.”
Tracy’s response came minutes later.
I can’t leave Dom right now. Whatever is or isn’t wrong, we’ll have to work through it together. Please don’t worry. I’m okay. Just needed a sisterly shoulder to cry on.
It was fine to say don’t worry, but there was no way Meghan could hold back. In the hours that followed, she reread Tracy’s e-mails a dozen times, and before the day ended, she’d made her decision. She’d finish up the current issue of the Snip ’N’ Save and fly up to Philadelphia on Saturday. No matter how much it cost or what she had to do to make it happen, she was determined to have Lucas checked out by a doctor.
For the next two days, Meghan put in long hours at work. It was possible she’d be away for a week, maybe longer. Before leaving, she had to get the ads scheduled and roughs out to Sheldon. He could take it from there.
Late Wednesday night, she was in the Snip ’N’ Save office when she heard the doorbell chime. She glanced at the computer screen and saw it was 10:47. Baker Street was a family neighborhood, a place where people went to bed early, and no one went about ringing their neighbor’s doorbell at this time of night.
She moved cautiously through the hall. Then, before opening the door, she asked, “Who is it?”
“Me,” Tracy replied. “Open the door.”
Meghan yanked the door back and saw her sister standing there with Lucas in one arm and a diaper bag in the other.
“Good grief!” she gasped. “What happened?” Too anxious to wait for an answer, she continued asking if Tracy and Lucas were okay.
“We’re fine. Give me a minute, then I’ll tell you everything.” Tracy stuck her head through the doorway and looked around. “Is Mama still up?” she whispered.
“No, she’s in bed.” Meghan lifted Lucas into her arms and cuddled him to her chest. “So this is my adorable little nephew,” she cooed. “Why, you’re ten times cuter than those pictures your mama sent.”
Half-asleep, Lucas looked at her for a moment, then dropped his head onto her shoulder.
Tracy gave a sigh of relief. “I’m glad I won’t have to deal with Mama until tomorrow.”
Meghan was about to ask why, but as she pushed the door shut, she noticed Dominic’s car with its one blue fender parked in the driveway.
“You drove down from Philadelphia?”
Tracy nodded. “Yeah. I left Dom.”
At first she couldn’t believe what she’d heard. Two days earlier, Tracy had said she was trying to work things out. Now here she was, saying she’d left Dominic. Meghan could understand why her sister wasn’t ready to face Lila, but she couldn’t help but wonder what unforgivable thing had brought about such a change.
With a look of surprise still stuck to her face, she said, “You left him? And he let you take his car?”
“He didn’t know where I was going. He probably figured I’d go somewhere, get over being mad, and then come home.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” Tracy said wearily. “Let me grab Lucas’s crib out of the car. He’s tired, and I need to get him into bed.”
Moving as quietly as they had when they were youngsters making a midnight run on the cookie jar, they set up the crib in the room next to Meghan’s, the room that was now their mama’s sewing room. Tracy got Lucas settled, stashed her bag in the guest room, then tiptoed back downstairs to the kitchen.
“Is it too late for a cup of coffee?”
“Of course not.” Meghan filled the pot and turned it to brew. “It’s so good to have you back home.”
Tracy gave a half-hearted smile. “It’s good to be home.”
In an odd way
, it seemed as if nothing had changed in the two and a half years she’d been gone. Meghan reached into the cupboard, pulled down two of the same yellow mugs they’d always used, and set them on the table.
“Got any cookies or cake?”
“With Mama, there’s always cake. She’s not happy unless she’s baking up a storm.”
Meghan pulled a chocolate Bundt cake from the refrigerator, carved off two pieces, and set the plates on the table. She poured the coffee, then slid onto the chair on the opposite side of the table.
“I guess you’re wondering what happened,” Tracy said.
“You told me you didn’t want to talk about it.”
“Yeah, I know.” Tracy sat looking pensive for a few moments, then said, “You won’t believe what he did.”
Once she got started, the words came pouring out like a festered wound popped open. She told about how she’d come home from work unexpectedly and found Dominic in bed with Kristen, the girl who was supposed to be babysitting.
“Lucas was crawling around the living room floor, and they were in the bedroom with the door closed. Lucas could have fallen or pulled something over on himself, and they wouldn’t have heard a thing.”
Once the truth was laid bare on the table, Tracy continued.
“I’m a fool,” she said. “I could feel in my bones that he’s been cheating all along, but I kept trying to please him. I thought it was a fling and sooner or later he’d settle down so we could be a real family.”
She pulled a tissue from her pocket, wiped the tears back, then blew her nose.
“I figured I owed it to Lucas. A child needs both parents.”
Tracy blew her nose again, and by then, the tissue was in shreds. She stood, opened the cupboard door beneath the sink, and tossed the tissue in the garbage can, then reached over to the far end of the counter and grabbed a few more. It felt good to be home in a place where you could count on things staying the same.
She returned to her seat. “After Dom left Lucas alone in the living room, I knew he was never going to be a real parent. That’s when I realized I was just fooling myself in hoping he’d change.”
“I know it’s hard,” Meghan said, “but you did the right thing. Someone like Dominic is so self-centered, I doubt he’s capable of changing.”
They talked for a while longer. Then Meghan went back to the Snip ’N’ Save office and turned off her computer. Afterward she returned to the kitchen, and the two sisters sat at the table drinking coffee and talking until the first light of dawn glimmered on the horizon.
When they finally trudged up the stairs together, Meghan asked, “Are you back to stay?”
“I’m not sure. Right now I’m just trying to sort out my feelings.”
“Tomorrow we can start trying to find a doctor for Lucas.”
“Let’s wait a few days. Let me get settled and back on my feet.”
When they got to Meghan’s room, instead of moving on down the hallway to the guest room, Tracy just stood there. Meghan wrapped her arm around her sister, and it seemed as if they were six and seven years old again.
“Do you want to crawl in bed with me for a few hours?”
Tracy nodded and gave a sheepish grin.
Tracy
On the drive down here, I kept thinking of how Mama had tried every which way to keep me from going to Philadelphia with Dominic. At the time, I thought she was too blind to see how in love we were. Now I realize I was the blind one.
I can’t help wondering if someday I’ll find myself standing in Mama’s shoes and trying to keep Lucas from making the same kind of dumb mistakes I’ve made. Lord God, I hope not.
I used to think being a mama was the easiest job imaginable. Now I know it’s the hardest. You start worrying about your baby before he or she is even born, and you don’t stop until the day you die.
Knowing what I know now, I’m truly sorry for all the grief I caused Mama, and someday soon I’m gonna tell her so. Of course, my admitting such a thing might cause her to keel over from the shock, but I’m hoping all she feels is happy. If it were anybody other than Mama, they’d probably jump at the chance to say I told you so, but she won’t.
You know how I know that? Because now I’m a mama myself. Once you’ve got another life that you’re responsible for, you don’t care about being right. You just care about making things right for your baby.
It’s sad that it took almost twenty-two years for me to understand Mama’s motives. All the while I thought she was just trying to make me miserable, but I know she was doing exactly what a mama is supposed to do—take care of her child. Now that I’ve finally come to realize this, I’ll always be thankful to Mama for never giving up on me. I’m not ever going to forget it.
The Threat
Dominic didn’t worry the first night Tracy failed to come home. He’d apologized and said the thing with Kristen was a meaningless fling. A diversion to ease the stress of trying to find a job. He’d promised it wouldn’t happen again, but still she’d slept on the sofa, and then the next morning she and Lucas were both gone. Other than Wawa, Tracy had no place to go, so it was a safe bet she’d be back once she had time to cool down.
But after a second night passed without a phone call, he felt a twist of panic working its way into his chest. He tried calling her cell a number of times, and each time he got her voice mail. On three different occasions, he left a request for her to call back. The fourth time he said it was urgent, but still there was no response.
At six o’clock Thursday morning, Dominic walked the fourteen blocks to Wawa and pushed through the door. Tracy was extremely conscientious about her job. She wouldn’t blow that off no matter how mad she was.
The man at the register wore a name tag indicating he was Nico Parks, Assistant Manager.
“Need help?” he asked.
For a moment Dominic stood there, stretching his neck in one direction and then the other as he searched for Tracy.
“I’m looking for my wife—”
Not knowing if she’d used her last name or his, he hesitated a moment. She liked pretending they were married, so it seemed more likely she’d use his name.
He finally said, “Tracy DeLuca.”
“No DeLuca here.”
“What about Briggs? Tracy Briggs?”
“Not anymore,” Nico said. “She quit Tuesday morning.”
Dominic’s chest got tight, and he struggled to draw a breath. “Quit? Permanently?”
“I imagine so. She took her pay in cash and left.”
“Did she say where she was going?”
Nico shook his head. “Afraid not.”
On the walk back to the apartment, Dominic tried to think of where Tracy would go. She had few friends in Philadelphia. She was friendly with some neighbors, but they weren’t the kind of people he’d consider close. Anyway, if she were in the building, the car would be parked on the street or in the courtyard, and it wasn’t. As he walked he made a mental list of places she might go, then crossed the names off one by one.
In the end he was left with a single feasibility: as she so often threatened, she’d taken Lucas and gone back to Georgia. By the time he reached the apartment, he decided that was precisely what had happened. He picked up the phone and dialed Lila Briggs’s number.
Lila hadn’t yet opened her eyes when the sharp sound of the phone pierced her ears. Fearful that calls at this early hour brought only bad news, she grabbed the receiver and said, “What’s wrong?”
“Put Tracy on the phone,” Dominic replied.
“Who is this?” Lila asked.
“Dominic. I know she’s there, so just put her on the phone.”
Relieved to find the call was not news of a tragedy, Lila asked, “What on earth are you talking about? Tracy’s not here; she’s in Philadelphia.”
“Don’t give me that shit!” Dominic shouted.
“How dare you speak to me like that! Either you keep a civil tongue in your head, or I’ll—”
/> “PUT TRACY ON THE PHONE!” Dominic screamed.
Lila slammed down the receiver without bothering to say goodbye. She climbed out of bed, walked to the window, and peered down. Dominic’s car was parked in the driveway. There was no mistaking it.
“Well, I’ll be . . . ”
Sliding her feet into a pair of slippers, she padded down the hallway and opened the door to the sewing room. Standing up in his travel crib, Lucas smiled when he saw her.
“Well, bless your darling little heart . . . ” Lila cooed as she lifted him into her arms for the first time. “Meghan! Come see who’s here to visit Grandma.”
Moments later the two sleepy-eyed sisters ambled into the room. First there was an affectionate hug. Then Tracy asked, “How’d you know I was here?”
“Dominic called, and he was in an extremely foul mood.”
“What’d you tell him?”
“Nothing. He started yelling in my ear, so I hung up.”
Overjoyed to have everyone together again, the group moved downstairs, and Lila pulled a collection of pots and pans from the cupboard to begin fixing a huge breakfast: scrambled eggs, pancakes, bacon, and sausage, more than they could possibly eat. It was the same breakfast she had made every Sunday morning when George was alive.
Some people saw cooking as a chore, but not Lila. For her it was a way to express her love. It made her feel motherly and full of life.
Although the table was laden with food, Lila added a second basket of Tracy’s favorite blueberry muffins still warm from the oven. Then she sat and took Lucas onto her lap.
The phone rang, but the caller ID read “Unknown,” so no one felt compelled to answer. When the call ended, there was the space of a minute, perhaps less, then it rang again. Before the table was cleared, there had been a total of five calls, all “Unknown,” all unanswered.
When the calls finally stopped, Tracy thought that was the end of it, but it turned out to be just the beginning.
A few minutes after eleven, the doorbell chimed. Confident there was no way Dominic could get from Pennsylvania to Georgia in that amount of time, Meghan opened the door. The guy standing there was thin as a broomstick and had attitude written all over his face.
The Summer of New Beginnings: A Magnolia Grove Novel Page 5