I nodded without saying a word. The doctor took his leave. I took a breath then made my way back to the waiting room, feeling my guts twisting inside. I observed the intermittent speckles that made up the bland tan tiles of the hospital floor pass beneath my feet, trying to process the fact Trinity had not asked to see me. I had let her down, not protected her. The pain of my body mixed into the pain of my heart before I took a step around the corner into the waiting area.
“Ashton,” Francis said to me, with her large eyes showing fear. “How is Trinity?”
“The doctor is giving her a good prognosis. He believes she shall be able to come home within a day or two at the most. I promise, Francis, I shall speak with you in detail, but I must go to Trinity.” I saw Jacqueline clinging to Alec. “Jacqueline, will you come with me?”
“Of course,” she said without hesitation or question and rose from her seat, coming to the door to meet me.
“Trinity is asking for you,” I said. Jacqueline nodded. We walked down the hall toward room fourteen. “Jacqueline, please.” We stopped outside of Trinity’s door. “I have failed my dove. I did not protect her. She is in this wretched hospital, a place which shall be fearful for her because I did not protect her.”
Jacqueline hugged me. “My Lord, you did everything you could, this is not your fault. Gavin’s insanity, his addiction to drugs and drink, and his cruelty are not your fault.”
“She does not wish to see me.” In saying those words, my heart wanted to stop beating.
“My Lord, Trinity loves you. I will speak with her.” Jacqueline squeezed my hand. “Please, my lord, she needs your strength right now.”
“Yes,” I said, stiffening my spine. “Go to her. I shall be here waiting.”
I propped myself against the wall, outside of Trinity’s room. Trinity would need my strength, if she still needed me. Perhaps my brother had actually found a way to take my wife from me after all. Perhaps Trinity did not wish to see me because she could not bear to live with a man who had allowed such harm to befall her. No. I would not lose my wife, not now, not ever.
PART THREE
Trinity
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
—Lao Tzu
Chapter Twenty-One
Only you.
I balled myself up in the middle of the bed, gazing out the window at the pewter sky. It was raining. Streaks of water ran down the glass, reminding me of tears. I remembered something my father told me when I was small.
“Daddy, why does it rain?” I asked one night as my father tucked me in snuggly under my daisy covered sheets.
He kissed my forehead. “To give the earth a drink, baby girl.”
“I thought the sky was crying,” I had said in my childlike way.
“My grandmother told me when the sky cries it’s because God weeps.”
“Do you think God is crying, daddy?”
“No, my beautiful Trinity, I think he smiles when he looks down upon you.”
The memories were stopped when I heard the door to my room open. I turned to see Jacqueline. I smiled and felt the sting of my mouth where Gavin had hit me.
“My petit,” Jacqueline said. “You have no idea how you scared all of us.”
“Oh, Jacqueline, tell me, is Ashton all right?”
“My petit, he has been in utter torment. Why do you not see him?”
“I allowed his brother to touch me, Jacqueline. Ashton saw me do this.” I sobbed.
“Trinity, I do not understand. Gavin took you and assaulted you.”
“Gavin was crazy. He was going to hurt Ashton. He had a knife. He cut him and kicked him. He was going to keep on hurting him. I tried to keep Gavin focused on me, on my body. I was offering myself to Gavin in hope he would leave Ashton alone and set him free. Ashton saw his brother’s hands on me. I did things I only allow Ashton to do. Oh God, Jacqueline, Ashton has always spoke of how I was his, and only his, but his brother touched me, Jacqueline, in front of him. He will think me unfaithful, trash.”
“No, my petit, Ashton would never believe such. He loves you.”
“But, I have been touched by another man.”
“Did Gavin rape you, my petit?”
“He was going to. He had his nasty cock pressed up against me, his mouth on my mouth, on my breasts.”
Jacqueline swiped back a curl from my face. “My petit, Ashton loves you. It killed him to see his brother touch you, but you will always be his, and only his. He feels he let you down, that he could not protect you. He is frightened he will lose you to this nightmare.”
“No, Jacqueline. He didn’t let me down. I let him down.”
“Trinity, you need to speak with him and tell him how you feel. Allow him tell you how he feels. Do not allow this fear to fester. Free it now.”
“I know I should, but—”
“We thought we had lost you. We thought you were killed in that fire. Ashton was in agony, my petit. He still suffers.”
“You thought I died?”
“Yes. The stables burned to the ground.”
“Ashton thought I died?”
“Yes. He was destroyed,” Jacqueline said, softly.
My tears flowed, hitting my arm then rolling onto the sheets. “Gavin died. When the rafters fell they hit him,” I whispered.
“Trinity, Ashton is right outside the door. See him, speak to him freely, and love him with all that you are, my petit.”
“I do love him, Jacqueline. I love him so much it hurts, but I’m afraid of what he saw me do.”
“Trust him, Trinity.”
“I love you, Jacqueline,” I said, sniffing and wiping my tears.
Jacqueline touched my cheek. “If I were able to have a child, I would have wished for someone like you. You have such strength, Trinity. Such purity of heart. You, my petit, are quite extraordinary.” Jacqueline hugged me. “I love you, my dear one.”
“How is my family?”
“Everyone is relieved, but still worried.”
“Will you tell all of them I’m okay?”
Jacqueline smiled. “Yes, of course.”
“I need to spend some time with my husband.” I gasped, realizing what I just said.
“It’s all right, my petit. Ashton let the cat out of the bag. We all know you are married.”
“Let me guess. Lady Archer fainted, and Lord Archer started blustering bloody hell.”
Jacqueline laughed. “You know them well, my beautiful Trinity.” Jacqueline rose with fluid grace from the ugly burnt orange pleather chair that looked like a reject from the seventies. “I will send Ashton in.”
“I must look horrible,” I said, wiping at my cheeks and trying to straighten my tangle of curls.
“He shall think you a vision, my petit.”
I stared at the door. It opened slowly then Ashton walked in. Tears burst from my eyes. I had told myself to be strong, but I felt such emotion. Need. Fear. Love. Ashton’s rushed to my side and tugged me into his arms.
“My dove,” he whispered in my ear. “Please do not cry. Tell me, what shall I do for you, what do you need?”
I clung to him, twisting my hands into the material of his torn, bloody, dirty shirt. “You, I only need you.”
“Oh, my beautiful wife,” Ashton said kissing my eyelids, my cheeks, my jaw, my lips. “I am yours, and never shall you doubt such.”
“Ashton, can you still love me, forgive me?”
“Trinity,” Ashton said. The way he said my name he sounded astonished. “I have always loved you. Nothing has changed. Why would you believe my love for you would change?”
“I let him touch me.” I sobbed. “He touched me like you touch me.”
“No,” Ashton said, looking into my eyes. “Gavin’s vile touch was done in hate, needing to harm me through harming you.”
“You saw me allowing another man’s touch.”
“You are only made for me. No one else,” Ashton a
ssured.
“But you saw me offer myself to him. You saw his mouth upon me. You saw—”
“I saw the most amazing woman fighting to save me and willing to bargain with the devil in order to set me free.”
“But…” My mouth was stopped by a long, slow, lingering kiss. “I love you, Trinity. I shall love you without cease. Without you I could not live. You must trust what I say to be the truth, since I died believing you had died within that fire, only to feel my heart beat once more when I found you this afternoon.”
“I am sorry about Gavin. He died in the fire.”
Ashton’s face was stony. “Gavin tried to take you from me. He was—”
“He was broken, Ashton. Your brother was a broken man who lived a broken life, but no matter what he did, I am sorry for his death.”
Ashton shook his head. “You are quite extraordinary, my dove.”
“Ashton?”
“Yes, my dove?”
“Will you grant me a wish?”
Ashton smiled, truly smiled. “Anything.”
“Will you get in this bed so I can cuddle you?”
“Is this your wish, my lady?”
“Yes, it is, my lord.”
“Then is shall be done,” he replied. He kicked off his scuffed up black Italian loafers and lay down upon my bed, making sure not to tangle into my IV or oxygen lines. I scooted up to nuzzle my face into his neck, being careful of his ribs, but twining my fingers into his hair.
“Better?” he asked.
“Oh yes,” I said within a contented sigh.
“Can you forgive me, my dove?”
“There is nothing to forgive.”
“I did not protect you from this nightmare. I shall never forgive myself for that, even if I live to be a hundred.”
“Ashton, look at me.”
He did.
“None of this was your fault. You will always be my protector, my safety, my love, my heart, my very soul, and my husband. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“But I need to—”
“Love me. All I ever need is only for you to love me.”
Ashton smiled. “Then we are in agreement, are we not? Because all I shall ever require is your love.”
“Yes,” I giggled. “We are in agreement.”
Ashton kissed the rope burn around my wrist. “Are you in pain, my dove?”
“A little, but nothing too harsh.”
“I am so sorry he hurt you. Every mark upon your skin kills me.”
“It’s just bruises and a few cuts. I’ll heal.”
Ashton traced his finger over my jaw before placing a kiss there.
“We shall heal each other, my dove,” he said.
“Yes,” I replied, and started to remove the oxygen tube from my nose.
“No.” Ashton stopped me. “You must follow the doctor’s instructions.”
“But I must look hideous.”
“You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. You are without doubt a shining angel sent to this earth, created from the sparkle of God’s eye.”
“You always say such things to me.”
Ashton sunk his nose deep within my curls. Our moment was interrupted by a hefty nurse who seemed to waddle in. Her muddy brown hair was graying around the edges of her face. She gave Ashton a disapproving eye, obviously not at all happy he was snuggled up with me on the hospital bed, but she never said anything. She checked my IV, took my vital signs, wrote something down onto a chart, and hung it on the wall behind the bed.
“Are you in pain?” she asked.
“No, not much,” I replied.
The nurse turned her gaze toward Ashton. “Would you like me to bring in a more comfortable chair?”
“No. I assure you, I am quite comfortable.”
She snorted then murmured under her breath. “Pretty boys. They always get their way so no sense arguing.” She eyed us once more then pointed her finger at Ashton. “Do not think I won’t kick you out of that bed if she suffers any discomfort. Pretty boy or not, your charms will not work on me when it comes to my patient’s needs and comfort.”
Ashton guffawed. “I shall not put up an argument if Trinity is in need of any further medical care nor would I ever presume to try to charm such a lovely lady.”
“Huh…” the nurse mumbled. “Lovely lady.” She was still muttering something under her breath about pretty boys as she waddled out of my room.
“Well, my lord. I don’t think she was kidding. Your handsome face, your fabulous body nor your honey toned voice will win her over, so you better follow the rules because I believe she will really kick you out.”
Ashton laughed. “Do you doubt my powers of persuasion, my dove?”
Gazing into his ice white eyes my heart fluttered.
“No,” I said. “I guess I don’t.”
We lay quietly for a moment, listening to the rain fall outside the window.
“Trinity, do you wish to tell me of how you escaped the stables?”
“When the rafters gave, it knocked Gavin and I down. It was like being behind flaming walls. I was pinned beneath the weight of Gavin, but I knew he was gone. The rafter hit him directly. I could not help him.” Ashton ran his hand over my forearm. “I squirmed, kicked, and wiggled until I freed my legs from beneath him. The fire blazed around me. Something had hit my head, and blood was running down my face, but I knew I needed to move. Zeus broken free. He was waving his hoofs wildly as the flames shot in around him. I wasn’t sure what to do. I knew you couldn’t hear me; the front of the stables had caved so I looked around. Every exit was engulfed in flames. Smoke and heat was everywhere. I ran to the other end of the stables, picked up a stool, and hurled it at the window by the end of Zeus’ stall. If it had still been covered, the glass might not have shattered so easily.” I paused, snuggling a bit closer to Ashton. “The intake of wind shot the flames into a swirling, writhing twist. The fire licked up the wall. I remember telling myself that wall was the only way out so I kicked at the timbers where the window was broken, feeling the flames lap close. Zeus reared up and beat his powerful hooves against the wall like he knew what needed to be done. When he did, it caused a section to cave.”
“Zeus pummeled the wall?” Ashton asked.
“Yes. I grabbed onto his long white mane, placed my foot onto the stall door, and pierced my foot with a nail. I know I screamed when I wrenched my foot free, but with a kick off from the door I leapt onto Zeus. I clutched onto his mane as he broke through the opening. He caught his chest on a jagged piece of glass. It tore into his flesh, but he ran forward wildly. Then my vision blurred. I fell forward onto his neck. I remember telling him to run, then nothing. I woke up in here.”
“I shall never say another derogatory word about Zeus. He brought you home to me. He shall have sugar cubes every day for the rest of his days.”
“He will be all right, won’t he? He did cut himself quite deeply.”
“Yes, my dove, Zeus will be fine.”
“And you, how badly are you hurt?”
“Nothing is wrong with me as long as I have you in my arms, Trinity.”
“Tell me,” I pressed, running my finger lightly over the bandage upon Ashton’s hand.
“I am fine,” Ashton replied. “Some stitches, and a couple of broken ribs.”
“The doctor told me I have a broken rib.”
“Yes. We spoke.”
Ashton found a curl he liked and twirled his finger within it.
“Ashton?”
“Yes?”
“I should probably see my family.”
“Everyone has been worried.”
I snuggled my nose a bit deeper into his neck.
“Ashton?”
“Yes, my love?”
“I wish to see them, but please don’t leave.”
“Wild horses could not drag me from this bed, my dove.”
“So I hear we have some explaining to do, my husband.”
“Yes, well perh
aps some,” Ashton agreed.
“Ashton?”
“Yes, my dove?”
“Do you think it would be wrong to make out in a hospital bed?”
Ashton guffawed. “My Lady, you are going to cause quite the scandal,” he teased.
“Perhaps some.”
“What’s more scandal?” Ashton acquiesced with a wicked smile as his mouth molded to mine.
I felt his manhood forming resolve. “Oops,” I giggled when my thigh brushed against his superb erection.
“Oops indeed,” Ashton agreed.
We heard my hospital door open, but we kept on kissing.
“Bloody hell. I’m going to need to adjust my shaft after watching you two,” Barrington said.
“Sod off,” Ashton replied, holding his bandaged hand up and flipping his chum the bird.
“Listen, the natives are getting restless so perhaps you should stand down so I can report back it is fine to visit,” Barrington offered.
“How have you been, Thaddeus?” I asked.
“Good, my lady.” He smiled. “And I am truly happy to see you.”
“Why? Still hoping to run off with me?” I teased.
“Of course. It’s only a matter of time before you realize I am the better looking bloke.”
“I hate to break it to you, but this man beside me is fucking gorgeous, so I am staying right here by his side.”
“My Lady,” Ashton replied. “You dropped the f bomb.”
“Well, sometimes it’s necessary to get the point across,” I returned.
“Quite,” Barrington said, breaking out into a hearty chuckle.
Barrington walked over to the side of the bed, pounded Ashton’s fist then leaned down and kissed my cheek. “I shall tell everyone you are ready for visitors, my lady. Welcome back,” he said. “And if I may add, let us not have such excitement again.”
I nodded.
“Thank you, Barrington,” Ashton said. “For everything.”
“There is nothing to thank me for. Watching your father get his knickers in a wad, and knowing I have been the cause, has been my great pleasure,” Barrington returned with a wide bright smile.
“Well, someone had to continue in my absence,” Ashton quipped.
“Indeed,” Barrington crooned as he sauntered to the door. “Besides, you would do the same for me.”
The Good Sister: Part Two Page 24