by Nicky Roth
'That is actually very likely. She came over to Longbourn and was insisting that it was Netherfield, for it was the only large house she had seen so far. I told her that Netherfield is surrounded by a large park and cannot be seen from the street, but she didn't want to believe me. Do you know what she was on about? She didn't strike me like a person working in gastronomy.'
'I have an inkling, what her profession might be, but at present, I'd rather keep it to myself.'
'Mr Bingley is not opening a conference centre with some special entertainment for lonely managers, is he?' she asked, while she was rummaging through the messenger bag strapped to her bike.
'Good God, no!'
At first, he was shocked she would even assume such a thing, but one glance at her gleeful face told him that she was merely teasing.
Damn! How could a woman look so pretty without the slightest tint of make-up and her hair all wild?
He took the phone from her and dialled 999, gave the registration number of the car in question and his reasons for calling and then handed it back to Elizabeth.
'Thank you.'
'You know, I think that was pretty decent of you, that you did not just let her get away with it,' she mused, as she tucked away her phone again.
'Funnily enough, most people would have considered me a spoil-sport for it,' Darcy shrugged.
'I would never consider a person doing the right thing as being a spoil-sport, though my youngest sisters would certainly agree with that statement.'
'They are a bit forward, aren't they?'
'Cross out the 'bit' and add 'precocious'.'
'Do they never help around the farm? It seems as if you and your sister Jane are doing all the work.'
'I'd doubt they would know how to hold a shovel the right way up. But they do help around the house once in a while.'
'Like?'
'Decorating it for Christmas or their birthday parties and sometimes they cook. Or at least they try.'
'Well, siblings can be challenging at times.'
'Oh yes! Do you have any? Siblings, I mean?'
'I have a sister. Georgiana is sixteen and sometimes I wish she were a bit more like your sisters. She's rather shy and can be a bit too severe on occasion, you know?'
'Family trait?'
He laughed. How could he not, when she was so charming even when poking fun at him?
'Presumably,' he admitted. 'It has been rough since our parents died.'
'Oh! I didn't know. I am sorry...'
'It's been a while now. We still miss them, but the pain is gone,' he answered, knowing full well that it was a lie.
With his mother, it had been coming on gradually as she faded away from cancer, but his father's heart attack had come as a shock. - Five years...
No, it decidedly still hurt. Especially when he needed advice, someone to turn to, only to find that there was no-one there.
When his eyes met hers, he could see that she had seen right through him and her compassion made him swallow hard.
'I think I better get going. Hermes here is getting impatient.'
'That's his name? Your family seems to have a knack for unusual names, too.'
'Why?'
She looked at him with raised eyebrows. What was she on about?
Eventually, she replied: 'Oh, never mind.'
Hm, perhaps he should count the times he or somebody else said those two words. He was pretty sure that before he had come to Hertfordshire he had not quite heard them so often.
But...- well, never mind!
Chapter 7:
Penny dropping
'Hey Lottie, sorry I'm late,' Elizabeth panted as she got off her bike and locked it. 'But I somehow got held up by a man on a boring looking zebra.'
Charlotte, holding open the door to the small café gaped at her then laughed: 'Boring looking zebra? Please, explain.'
'Ah, well, as far as I understood it, its stripes were in the wash.'
'Lizzy!'
'Alright, alright. I met Mr Darcy while he was trying to explain to a dumbass how to get to the motorway. It was hilarious!' Lizzy answered as she plunked down on the chair at their usual table.
Drinking coffee with Charlotte on a Sunday was an established tradition unless Charlotte was working, or she herself was away at uni.
'And how does the zebra come into play?' her friend inquired curiously.
'As said, he was sitting on it. The woman he tried to help, asked him if that was a horse he was riding and he in all seriousness answered: “No, it's a boring looking zebra...”'
'You're kidding, right?' her friend giggled.
'Nope.'
'I think that is the most hilarious answer to such a dumb question I have ever heard,' Charlotte laughed now.
Well, it was hilarious.
'Definitely! And from Mr Darcy, no less. I thought I'd keel over laughing. By the by, have you heard from Netherfield? About the job, I mean.'
Charlotte pulled out a letter from her pocket.
'I have. The letter came yesterday. I was actually quite surprised it came that quickly.'
'And?'
'I've got the job!'
Cheering Elizabeth hugged her friend.
'Oh, that is wonderful news. I told you they would be stupid if they didn't take you.'
'Yeah, well, I am a bit nervous though,' Charlotte sighed, looking not as happy as she would have expected her to look.
'Why?' Elizabeth asked puzzled, picking up the menu that lay open on the table and put it back on its stand. It was not as if she needed it.
'I am to start in two weeks already, help organise the place, interview people and all that stuff. Really, I have never done such a thing in my life. Okay, I have interviewed people before, but help planning the venue is an altogether different thing. What if I screw up big time?'
The waitress appeared, at last, looking as enthusiastic as Kitty and Lydia on a Monday morning.
'The usual?' she asked flatly.
'Yep, two latte and two chocolate muffins,' Elizabeth answered with equal lacking friendliness before turning back to her friend: 'Charlotte, why would you? You are the most organised person I know and you've got good judgement when it comes to people, though perhaps your best friend is a bit weird...'
'Lizzy, please, be serious!'
'Actually, I am serious, Charlotte. You are the most organised person I know, and when has your judgement in people ever failed you? It's what's making you so good at your job. Come now, if it had been you serving customers who come in almost every single week of the year ordering the same thing each and every time, you wouldn't have asked, but brought the stuff straight away.'
'Of course I would have, duh? And though I'm afraid, despite what you might think, my judgement has momentary lapses from time to time, but I can deal with that. No probs. But the planning?'
'How many parties have you planned and organised? How many times have you spoken to customers? Advised them as to what might best suit their wishes and purses?'
'I've lost count.'
'See! In your last job, you've been almost indispensable and come now, had it not been for Mr Ramsey's getting too old and selling the business, you would still be.'
'Yeah, well... - But then again, if I were so good, why did it take so long for me to get another full-time job?' Charlotte mumbled.
The waitress finally approached with their orders and quickly disappeared again without saying a word or even smiling. Charlotte frowned after her disapprovingly.
'I dare say it is because people think they could not possibly afford you,' Elizabeth carried on. 'But at any rate, Mr Bingley obviously can and thinks you are the right person to run his restaurant, and I quite agree with him.'
'Thank you!'
Charlotte still looked doubtful, and it seemed high time to change the subject.
'You're welcome. - So, what do you say to our beloved Harvest Ball?'
As expected her friend grinned broadly as she answered: 'It lived up t
o its reputation of being the most embarrassing event of the year. I mean, it was bad enough when you left, but believe it or not, it got worse. You know Peter Brannigan?'
'The butcher?'
'Yep, he screwed Mrs Baker in the backyard, right next to the bins like there was no tomorrow.'
'Perhaps they needed to be quick because her husband is jealous much. For whatever reason. Not that his wife would give him cause, does she? - By the way, is he a candlestick-maker?'
'Who?'
'Mr Baker.'
'He's an electrician at the base.'
'I let that count, it's basically the modern version of it, isn't it. So we've got butcher, baker and candlestick-maker...'
Charlotte snorted and almost spilt her coffee all over herself.
'Well, I dare say the dance performance has gotten slightly better than last year,' Elizabeth carried on.
'Better?' Charlotte gaped at her. 'Lizzy, it was a disaster.'
'Yeah, but last year the multiple collisions happened with the first dance already, this time they managed to hold out until the second.'
'One just has to love your optimism.'
'Optimism has sod all to do with it. I tell you, it was the Tequilas you gave me. They blurred my mind enough to forget that it was my own sister who was at the very root of things.'
'I have to say, I was actually surprised that you went home so early.'
'I was, too. But Mary needed an ice pack and the rest of us jumped at the chance of going home, too. So, what else have I missed?'
'Only Penny stripping to the ballroom version of “you can leave your hat on”.'
'I did not even know there was such a thing as a ballroom version of that song. That's perverse! Messing around with that song, I mean. But let me guess, Penny has made a course at, shoot, what's the name of this stupid event-thingy?'
'Rosings.'
'Yep, Rosings.'
'I doubt it. I heard Lady Catherine has very high moral standards. At least that is what Penny said, so take that with a grain of salt.'
'And I think Penny once said that he was very sorry to have missed her course in nude painting.'
'One is art, Lizzy, the other is, well, taking off clothes in front of others for everybody to see.'
'To me, it sounds much the same if I am being honest. I mean, it's not as if people aren't looking at the pictures later, too. And they are there to stay, not just a temporary thing.'
'Yeah, if you put it like that. But please, let's change the subject or I'll have another sleepless night from this. And one was already enough, I tell you. You looked lovely as did Jane, but heck, did you see Mrs Harris and Mrs King?'
'Not close up. I was mainly preoccupied with Kitty and Lydia and trying to dance with Mr Darcy.'
'Have you ever considered that perhaps he can't dance?'
'Then he could have said so. Not that he doesn't.'
'Perhaps he was embarrassed?'
'Yeah, right! So, what's with Mrs Harris and Mrs King?'
'Well, Mrs Harris had taped a curtain together as a dress using double sided tape and it came apart right when she tried to help herself to some food at the buffet. You should have seen her face when she realised that it slowly but surely slipped down her body to reveal her underwear while she was balancing two plates.'
'Oops, I would say.'
'Yeah, and Mrs King's Regency gown had a leopard print.'
All Elizabeth could do was bury her face in her hands and laugh until she was literally crying. Seriously, the best part of the Harvest Ball was talking about it afterwards.
'I have to say, Mr Bingley was quite smitten with Jane, wasn't he?' Charlotte inquired when their giggles had subsided.
'It definitely seems so,' Elizabeth agreed. 'Actually, he's currently at Longbourn House doing his laundry. Well, he was there yesterday as well, talking to Jane for hours while Mr Darcy and I were mucking out the stables.'
'Excuse me, what did you just say?' Charlotte startled.
'I said that Mr Bingley and Jane chatted for several hours on end.'
'That was not what I meant, I mean the other part, the one with Mr Darcy and you mucking out the stables.'
'Well, yes, he came by with Mr Bingley and since he had to wait, for I think he did not trust Mr Bingley to ride back over to Netherfield all on his own, he offered to help me.'
'And so he mucked out the stables? Just like that?'
'Yes. The pigsty. And after that he helped me repair the fence, tend to Nellie and Dorothy and...'
'Wow, wait a second! - And did you really say they rode over to Longbourn? Like on horses?'
'Well, boring zebras more like,' Elizabeth replied dryly.
'You do know that he's extremely rich, has a great business of his own, has inherited an estate worth several million Pounds and that his uncle is a peer of the realm? - I admit, I googled him.'
'Miss Bingley mentioned something along those lines, but I have to admit that I did not pay much attention. To call that woman abrasive would be like calling stone slightly hard. As for Mr Darcy, I have not yet made up my mind. He can be nice at times and he can be a decided arse.'
'And he certainly has a nice arse.'
'You should have seen him in his riding breeches.'
'I've seen him in a business suit and that was already a mouth-watering sight.'
'Ah, there you are, Lizzy,' he mother, car keys in hand, greeted her when she returned from her meeting with Charlotte, coming right from the stables, tired and hungry. 'And what did Charlotte say?'
'Oh, we spoke about this and that, you know. As always,' Elizabeth tried to avoid further questions, not that it was not blatantly obvious anyway that her mother was about to leave the house.
'I thought you might have spoken about the Harvest Ball. It was a success, as always, wasn't it?'
'Yeah...'
'Personally I think it is getting better with each year. - Anyway, I'm on my way over to Rosy, I'll probably be home late. So if you could see that Kitty and Lydia are in bed by ten.'
Big chance for that! That was usually the time of day on a Sunday when they woke up at last.
Ignoring her second oldest daughter's frown, Mrs Bennet carried on happily: 'But we do need to start organizing the Christmas Bazaar, and we haven't even decided on a charity yet, to which to donate the money.'
Biting her tongue to swallow a snide remark about yet another event that ranked quite high on the embarrassment-scale, Elizabeth instead asked: 'Where is Jane?'
'Oh, Jane has gone out for dinner with Mr Bingley. As a thank you, you know,' Mrs Bennet beamed. 'I don't know where they have gone, but I think it might be something fancy, considering how much money he's got.'
'And how many fancy restaurants do you know here about? I mean, The Fat Duck is not exactly around the corner.'
'Oh, don't be silly, Lizzy. But perhaps that nice little Italian restaurant over at the market square.'
'Prezzo's?'
'Yes, I think that is what it's called. It looks very nice on the outside, don't you think?'
'It has to, it's a graded building and they have to abide by the regulations. Same as Mr Bingley with Netherfield.'
'Oh, did he say so?'
'There is no need for him to do so, it's the law, Mama.'
To explain to her mother how some things worked was pretty much a futile effort, but one should have thought that considering that she herself lived in a Grade II building this should have given her at least some idea. But nope. At least she was a very good cook...
'What's for dinner?'
'I haven't prepared anything, so you might want to have a look in the freezer and see what's ready made in there. I think we should still have some frozen meals of curry and rice. You know, I can't always do everything for you kids. At some point, you need to grow up and do things for yourself.'
Yeah, right.
'Cheers, mum!'
'Oh, no problem. Ta-ta!'
Seething and with a grumbling stomach E
lizabeth made her way to the kitchen and rummaged around the freezer to find...- sod all! Okay, there was a bag of broccoli and some chips as well as a frozen apple pie. Not much to go on, was it?
Picking up the menu from the takeaway hanging on the side of their fridge, Elizabeth dialled the number.
'Hello? Yeah, I would like to order some food, please. - Two chicken Korma, with rice and a naan bread each as well as a lamb Jalfrezi, extra hot and a chicken Madras, both with just naan bread, but two each and some Samosas on the side. Yes, to deliver, please. No, I don't mind paying extra for that. - Over to Longbourn House. - Excuse me? What do you mean? - You can't be serious!'
Great, just what she needed, the takeaway did not deliver as far as Longbourn. Far my arse! It was barely two miles from Meryton. Was it really too much to ask for a frickin' delivery service?
And just as it always was, the doorbell rang, when the last thing one wanted, was someone to come by. And not only that, it was a very determined visitor by the sound of it. Gods, hopefully nothing had happened...
'Mr Darcy?' Elizabeth gaped at him while he smiled apologetically, hand still on the doorbell.
'Sorry for barging in, I know it's getting late, but is Charles still here?'
'No, he's gone out for dinner with Jane as far as I know. Why?'
'Because he's taken all the towels with him... - and the dishcloths.'
'Let me guess, you found out the hard way, after taking a shower?'
'No, only after I stripped, fortunately. So I got dressed again and came here. So excuse me smelling of horse.'
'Are you here on horseback?'
'No, I drove over, why?'
'Okay. Brilliant! - Here's the deal: I'll help you out with towels and dishcloths and you help me out with getting something to feed me and my sisters that isn't broccoli.'
'Oh dear, then you are in even greater need than I. Broccoli, you say...? Let's hurry, it's an emergency!'
'Did you have a clown for breakfast this morning?'
'No, it tasted funny,' Darcy dead-panned with a completely straight face and Elizabeth could not help laughing.
'Lizzyyyyyyy,' Lydia suddenly wailed as she trudged down the stairs. 'What's for dinner?'