by Nicky Roth
No-one did, but before he had even turned around the whole group had made itself comfortable on the antique furniture. So much so, that some even put up their feet on the couch table.
Ah well, never mind.
Why the fuck was the door to his study open? It wasn't locked, sure enough, but it was not open for visitors either. He heard voices from within. Well, one voice to be more precise.
'These tours are always so tedious, I tell you, but Carla just loves them for whatever reason. But really, I can't wait for the weekend to be over. I am so glad that Phil got custody of her... - Yes, I tell you. I didn't get to go out all weekend! I mean normally I manage to sneak out once she's asleep, but last night she made such a fuss that I had to call Chris eventually and tell him I won't make it. He was none too happy, I tell you. - Where I am? At Pemberley. - Yes exactly, that dingy old house near Lambton. At least the guide's a looker. But with Carla there, I doubt I can persuade him for a little something, especially after I didn't get to meet Chris last night. - Fuck no! Of course, Chris doesn't know about Carla. I had to invent some cock and bull story about a broken pipe.'
'You are free to persuade me to throw you out, Madam. At least that's my definition of a little something. And which is exactly what I will do right now. - Tell Phil that he can pick up his daughter here.'
He'd heard enough and what he had heard made him feel nauseous.
What made him livid was the fact that the woman had barely stepped out of the house when she was on her mobile once again telling her friend in a cheerful voice: 'Hey, I was saved by the guide. Can you pick me up? - Yes, Carla is taken care of for the rest of the day. Sure, pizza sounds good. See ya!'
'Does that mean I can stay here now?'
Oops, he hadn't noticed the girl's return. Oddly enough, the child looked more relieved than saddened.
'Yes, at least until your dad picks you up. But first we have to finish the tour, remember? The others are waiting.'
Or they would have had he not been stopped in his tracks by a now all too familiar figure.
'Mr Darcy! I have another complaint. There was horse manure right in the middle of the riding path.'
Okay, leave it to Richard Sucker to blow his incognito. He had been loud enough to rouse the dead.
'No shit? I didn't know you were riding,' Darcy managed to squeeze out from between his teeth.
'Hey, I know you, young man!'
Seemed as if him wearing a suit really had befuddled Sucker.
'Yes, I told you Mr Darcy is a wanker...'
He was a patient man, really, but eventually, even his patience wore thin and now it was so threadbare that any minute now, he was certain, he would lose it. Big time!
'Be as it may, I wasn't riding, I was walking.'
KABOOM!
'It is a fucking bridle path, Mr Sucker, meant for riding. Stop looking for things to whine about and get yourself a hobby other than pissing off people just because you are bored out of your mind. Why don't you try some nude yoga? Or cooking? Or how to ride a broomstick for all I care, at least it doesn't poop.'
He all but pushed Sucker out of the house before taking a deep breath: 'Now where were we?'
Shit, he still needed to finish the tour... And there he had longed for some normality after the week he'd just had. Yeah, right!
On the upside, no-one dared to ask any stupid questions and the ones Carla, again safely sitting on his shoulders, asked were actually quite clever.
An hour later he finally could lock the doors behind him and walking down towards the kitchen with his little charge in tow Darcy was glad to see that dinner was ready and that Mrs Reynolds had had the foresight to lay out another cover. Now he only needed to wait until the girl was picked up by her father and then, at last, he could go to bed. - Oh and he probably should try to call Elizabeth again...
As the hours ticked by he grew more and more concerned, however. Bloody hell, did no-one care about this little girl? Carla was sleeping peacefully on the sofa beside him in the library as he stared into the flames of the fireplace, his book long forgotten. It was past ten when finally there was a frantic knock on the front door and he opened to reveal a dishevelled looking knight in full armour.
'Sorry about that, I wasn't exactly around the corner to begin with and then I got lost,' the man panted as if he had just ridden here, though Darcy was relieved to see a car parked behind the stranger.
'Never mind, it's not a problem. Phil, I presume?'
The man nodded his mouth set in a grim line. Damn, he looked fierce. Literally ready for battle. Okay, no stretch of the imagination needed where Carla got her enthusiasm for history from. What little girl could claim to have her own true knight? Lancastrian, he noted. Ah well, one couldn't have it all...
'I swear one day I'll kill my ex. Cheers mate for taking care of my girl.'
'Anytime. Beer?'
Chapter 31:
Shopping Queen
'Bloody hell, I am exhausted!' Elizabeth whined, pulling her comfy trainers off her feet before flopping down on Jane's bed-couch. 'Is there a single shop in London we haven't visited?'
'Many, I dare say, but come on, be honest, it was worth it,' her favourite sister replied, as she herself stripped off her shoes before walking over to the small kitchen in the corner of her bedsit to pour two glasses of wine for them and sort out their dinner.
How Jane had been able to walk in her pumps all day long was a mystery. Her own feet were killing her and she had not worked an early shift as Jane had done.
They had met at Barts to set out straight away and looking at all the bags that now lay spread all over the floor of Jane's tiny flat, Elizabeth had to question her own sanity. Especially since she was sure that most of the stuff she would wear perhaps once, if at all. At least she had acquired a new mobile. Not that she used it often, but not having one had still made her somewhat uncomfortable. It was nothing fancy in itself unlike the phones her younger sisters had insisted on, for hey, it was just a phone, but Jane had persuaded her to purchase a nice looking cover for it. Ah, there it was. Okay, where was her SIM-card? At least that had survived the flooding Lydia had caused, not that she could fault her in this case. She's had every right to be upset.
Carefully Elizabeth pushed the card into its designated slot, then put in the battery before closing the cover and plucking the charger into the nearest socket. With a slight vibration and a piercing beep, the thing came to life.
Punching in her access code, she stared bewildered at the screen, before panic set in.
What? Twenty - TWENTY - 20 - yes, twenty, missed calls? What the fuck?
And whose number was it anyway? Gods, had something happened? No-one ever called her, let alone twenty times in a row. Unless something was the matter that is. Heck, she had only left last afternoon, could it really be that Longbourn had burnt down already?
'What is it, Lizzy? You look worried,' Jane inquired as she made her way over with the wine and two plates filled to the brim with the curry, rice, naan bread, various chutneys and pakoras they had bought at the takeaway around the corner.
Hell, they had enough food to last them the remainder of the week, and it was only Monday, mind.
'Someone tried to get hold of me, and by the looks of it, it seems urgent.'
Okay, the first four calls had been made on Saturday... Whatever was wrong, it had in all likeliness nothing to do with Longbourn. Phew!
'Did he leave a voicemail?'
'No. And it might just as well be a “she”, Jane. - Perhaps Charlotte has got a new number. - Perhaps I should try and...'
Damn, it was almost ten already. Yes, perhaps she was old-fashioned, but calls after eight o'clock were not very polite, were they? Not unless it was by appointment or an emergency. On closer inspection, the mysterious caller seemed to be of the same opinion. Not one single call had been made later than half past seven. Okay, perhaps it was someone trying to sell her a conservatory or the like. No that was silly, they would hardl
y have called on a Sunday, would they? These days one couldn't be sure, though. Ah well, never mind, it would have to wait until tomorrow then. But what if it was urgent?
The food tasted bland. Not in itself, admittedly, but the calls had upset her somehow. Sod it, she would call now!
As soon as Jane had gone into the bathroom to take a shower she dialled the number in question, sitting on the edge of the sofa with her insides churning. Come on, pick up the bloody phone whoever you are!
The phone was, in fact, picked up on the second ring.
'Hello?' a very sleepy voice answered, sounding slightly muffled as if a pillow or blanket had gotten in the way.
A very male voice at that, that sounded somewhat confused. Okay, it was almost eleven now. She should have waited, she knew it!
There was movement on the other end and then suddenly the man spoke again: 'Lizzy, is that you?'
Okay, she knew that voice. Quite well even. And she had missed hearing that voice if she was honest with herself.
'Will?' she asked tentatively.
He had tried to call her! Wow...
How did he even happen to have her number? Okay, never mind, what mattered was that he was on the phone now.
'Yes. Are you okay?' he answered, and she couldn't help picturing him lying in bed.
Did he sleep in the nude? No, bad thought. Go away!
'Yes, of course. Why?' she all but stammered, her heart hammering in her chest as if she was in the middle of a marathon.
'You didn't answer my calls. I was worried. You are not angry at me?'
'No, why?'
Now it was on her to be confused.
'Because I didn't take proper leave of you,' he stated, sounding contrite. 'How are you?'
Okay, suddenly she felt like throttling Lydia after all. Not really, of course, but just a little for good measure.
'My phone died, sorry. Little accident at the breakfast table. I only just got a new one today. Considering that I had basically passed out, I hardly have a right to be angry at your leaving without bidding me farewell and besides, my dad passed on your best wishes. - The cold is gone, thank goodness, and I am visiting Jane in London for a couple of days. What about you?'
As always, it was surprisingly easy to speak to him. Once they got talking, that is.
'Same old,' Darcy replied with a chuckle. 'Nothing special, really. Just sorted out a couple of issues. Brought an old married couple back together, babysat a young girl, had beer with a Lancastrian knight, finally cleaned my car, enrolled my sister at the local school so she can come home, fixed a fence - oh, and agreed to take one of my aunt's courses, which was why I tried to call you, amongst other reasons.'
'Okay? Sounds like a perfectly normal weekend to me...'
'Well, yes. I am a bore I am afraid. But you see, that course I agreed to take is a dance course and I will need to bring a partner and I thought that maybe...?'
Yes, yes, yes!
'... if perhaps, I mean if you like that is, if you would...- come with me? Please?'
Right girl, stay calm!
'Yes, why not?' Elizabeth almost squealed, feeling immensely silly and joyfully giddy at the same time. 'As long as you don't happen to be the teacher or something, for though I know the basics, I am not really all that much of a dancer. So a dance course is not a bad idea.'
'No worries then. I am not the teacher. Actually, I can't dance at all, as embarrassing as that might sound.'
'Oh! - Okay, that explains a lot. So you literally do not dance?'
Shit, and there she had called Charlotte crazy to suggest such a thing...
'Yep. I mean, no, I don't.'
'And when is this course then?'
'In two weeks... Okay, not quite. It's in eleven days from now.'
'Ah, okay. That's quite soon. Phew!'
'I know it is on short notice, but it is only one weekend starting Friday late afternoon to Sunday night. I would pick you up on my way south if that's convenient. I mean, if you are still interested, that is.'
Whatever the cost, of bloody course she was!!!
'Yes, it's absolutely fine,' she managed to answer in what she hoped was an even voice. 'All of it. I have to say I am quite curious to meet your aunt. Penny has been chatting on about her so much that I'm quite intrigued.'
'Ah yes, I almost forgot that your cousin frequently goes to Rosings. Well, I dare say my aunt will not disappoint, nor will her courses. They are quite notorious from what I've heard. It's admittedly the first I'm attending, bad nephew that I am. And I only agreed because she kind of ambushed me. - By the way, I hope you are not too keen on cottage pie, for I am afraid there won't be any.'
Eh???
'Pity, I like cottage pie.'
'Yeah, me too. Bummer! Perhaps we can sneak out after classes and go to a pub. The Parson's Trap in Hunsford is quite good and they sell decent locally brewed ales as well.'
'The Parson's Trap? That's a hilarious name for a pub!'
'It used to be the parsonage a couple of centuries ago but eventually got too small for the then rector and his ever-growing family and so a new one was built.'
'I take it he didn't read all that much?'
Oops, that was perhaps a bit insinuating, but it had slipped out of her mouth before she'd known it.
'Probably not. He seemed to have other interests,' Darcy replied dryly. 'So, how are you enjoying your stay in London?'
'It's nice to spend some time with Jane and away from Longbourn. I am to help her paint her flat and re-decorate. And perhaps we're going sightseeing, as silly as that might sound, and, of course visit my favourite aunt and uncle and their children. Today we went shopping. All afternoon long!'
And she still needed to stack the bags in a corner so they could pull out the bed-couch...
'You make that sound like a bad thing. Going shopping.'
'Isn't it?'
'It's a necessary evil if you ask my honest opinion, but I am a man. I was under the impression that most women tend to like the activity.'
'I am not most women, Will.'
'No, thank goodness for that!'
A massive yawn escaped him and made Elizabeth yawn likewise.
'I think you should go to bed, Lizzy,' Darcy yawned again. 'You sound tired and you have just been ill. And don't forget, you are not having a baby...'
'Ha-ha! Well, speak for yourself, you sound knackered, too. I have woken you up, haven't I?'
'Yes, I was fast asleep when the phone rang.'
'Sorry about that. I normally don't call this late, but I was worried something had happened.'
'I am not. Sorry, I mean that you woke me up, but I am sorry that I worried you. I'm glad you called. Lizzy?'
'Hm?'
'I.. eh - Have a nice dream.'
'You, too, Will. Good night.'
Grinning Jane stepped out of the bathroom as soon as Elizabeth had hung up, her eyes gleaming triumphantly while Elizabeth's gaze was decidedly dreamy.
'I told you it was a he,' Jane sing-songed making a silly face.
OMG! Okay, at least it wasn't her mother who had overheard them. If, she would be starting to plan their wedding asap. Taking Jane and Charles' relationship into consideration, it probably would be a double one.
'How much did you hear?' Elizabeth stammered, avoiding Jane's scrutinising gaze.
She could literally feel her face flush from embarrassment. Not that she had anything to hide, after all, Darcy was a friend, wasn't he? And they attended a dance course together at his aunt's, not some kind of wedding prep-course or some antenatal classes they most certainly didn't need. Not at this point anyway.
'You know the bathroom-walls are paper thin, Lizzy. It's only the outer walls that are half-way decent. I have to admit I heard everything from your side of the conversation, whether I wanted to or not. Sorry. I mean, it really wasn't my intention to pry but see, I told you, you would need those heels.'
'But I can't even walk in them, Jane.'
'Oh,
I'll make sure you practice then. And there is always Darcy's arm to cling to...'
'I am not sure he would appreciate that, Jane. He didn't like it very much when Caroline Bingley clung to him like a tick to a dog.'
'Ah, but that was perhaps because he did consider her a tick...'
'Jane, seriously, that was the most evil thing I have ever heard you utter!'
'Well, I didn't say Caroline was a tick, only that Darcy might have thought her equally annoying.'
'Okay, fair enough. You are forgiven.'
'How kind, sister dearest. Now, bed? Then we sort out what you are going to take to Rosings with you on the morrow.'
'No!'
'Oh yes. And, we will have to better your make-up skills.'
'Jane...!'
Okay, she would leave it at that. She was tired and she could just as well refuse when it mattered, namely the next day as soon as Jane returned from her shift. Shit, she hadn't even managed to get a book to read. That would be her mission for tomorrow, while her sister was out.
Now while shopping for clothes was nothing but tedious, bookshops were a treat. Oh, and DIY stores weren't bad either if she thought about it. They were always good to pick up an idea or two in the least. So perhaps a trip to Homebase was in order as well as Waterstone's. After all, she had nine hours to kill...
And since she had promised Jane to help her sort out her flat she could just as well put her sister's absence to good use.
Yes, the small bedsit was functional to a degree, but, well it was small and storage wise it had reached its limits. Long ago.
And thinking about it, with re-decorating the flat, she was sure she could deter her sister from her attempts to turn her into a fashion-dummy. Good plan!
Chapter 32:
Past-time Dominatrix
'Now turn around, keep your back straight, yes, that's it, Lizzy,' Jane commanded her.
Fucking hell, everything with a heel above two inches was nothing but a frickin' torture device. Why, oh why was it unacceptable to wear wellies for a dance? Or trainers? Seriously, with these things, one could just as well walk on stilts and at least they had a handle to hold onto. But these bloody things?