by Nicky Roth
He would make sure to light the fireplace later on. Damn, that again brought quite naughty thoughts to surface.
'She is. Without her, the seminar would have gone down the drain long ag...' Darcy trailed off.
Towel in hand, Elizabeth had slipped behind the old-fashioned screen by the window and the next thing he knew was that she had taken off her blouse and thrown it over the top. Her bra followed suit. Alone the thought that she stripped, even though he could not see a thing was enough to cause his body to react. Again! He most certainly had a too lively imagination. Or rather too good of a memory.
Bloody hell, how the fuck could she miss what she did to him? And idiot that he was, he had left the condoms at home thinking that it would be too presumptuous to bring them along. Shit!
But they were supposed to be in two separate rooms...
Seriously, at this point, the dancing was the last thing he worried about.
Chapter 35:
Wanted: Supernanny
So, what was she to put on? She didn't really know what was expected, but considering that this was an event seminar, presumably casual would be okay. Then again, if they danced, it might be expected that she'd wear something more flashy... She would ask Will if he were not still in the shower. Heck, what took him so long anyway? She could do with a bit of freshening up. Due to the damp, her hair had curled up even more than it normally did and if she didn't brush it now, later on, it would be hopelessly tangled.
As the water stopped running, she realised that she'd better get a move on. Yes, admittedly, she'd dawdled a bit as well, but she really was at a loss as to what would be appropriate to wear. Okay, dress it was. It was quicker to put on. The grey one with the embroidery at the hem she'd actually brought from home would do. It was plain enough to count as casual and elegant enough to pass as fancy. The stockings she could always put on later. Yes, stockings, not tights, Jane had been very specific about that. Well, Jane also thought that Darcy fancied her. Yeah, right!
Thank goodness she wasn't a drama queen. This weekend would be hard enough without her throwing a tantrum, and after all, it was nothing but her own stupid feelings that had gotten in the way, nothing more. It was not Will's fault that she had fallen in love with him. He still liked her, even when he didn't think her pretty and that had to be enough. He need never know what she really felt for him if she was careful. She might lay awake, wishing he'd hold her, but they could still talk and laugh together surely. Or they could peacefully sit next to each other and read. Hey, that was something! Yes, okay, it had a touch of masochism, to be sure, but there was nothing to be done about that, was it?
The door to the bathroom opened and Darcy stepped out. She apparently had made the right decision, as he had changed into a pair of grey, rather formal trousers, a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a muted blue waistcoat. Wait, wasn't that the one he'd worn with his Regency clothes? Yep. And it suited him now just as much as it had then. It brought out his grey eyes to much advantage, giving them a deep blue hue.
Fuck, how could one man be so incredibly handsome?
'Done?' he asked looking at her, his eyes widening a fraction, while his brows knitted and his mouth set into a firm line.
Yes, yes, yes, the dress didn't look as smooth on her as it would on Jane or even Caroline Bingley, she was well aware of that. She was a bit curvy and it made her look a little bit like a Marilyn Monroe wannabe, but sod it. She would not change into something else now.
'Almost,' she smiled.
Remember, no drama...! No irrational thoughts about love and all that shite.
Stepping into the bathroom, she struggled the brush through her curls, slipped on the stockings and then put on her pumps. The granny ones she'd bought without her sister's knowledge, obviously. Ah, bliss!
Yes, she was ready to go. And as it was, this day could only get better, couldn't it? All hope was gone already, so nothing to lose. Ha!
They were the last to enter, the dining room already filled with merry looking couples holding hands and flirting with one another in an almost sickeningly manner. Well, aside from one couple that was quite busy taming their three unruly children. And it was right next to them, where the only two vacant seats were to be located. Naturally. Okay, her assessment had been wrong, it could get even more downhill.
'Shall we?' Darcy asked, offering his arm.
'Do we have a choice?'
'Not unless we want to miss dinner. And my aunt, I fear is very particular about dinner hours. - There she is, by the way.'
He pointed at a stout looking woman with a stern face at the head of one of the tables before waving to her. She only deigned to nod back, while Elizabeth felt greatly tempted to curtsy. It was like in medieval times. Nobility at the head table, peasants at the lower ones.
'The man sitting next to her is Fitz, well, and Anne you've met. The other lady is Mrs Jenkinson, her right hand. Though she is usually so busy catering to my aunt's every whim, that Anne has to do her job on top of her own.'
'What exactly does your cousin do? I thought she was the manager here.'
'She should be, but she's actually doing the accounts.'
'Oh...'
'Good evening, may we take a seat here?'
They had reached the table where the kids, or rather the two eldest of them, still put up a fight over who was to sit next to whom, and on what colour cushion. The latter had been provided to raise them a little off their seats so their noses would reach over the table top and keep the mess in check while they ate. The little buggers did not seem very willing to comply...
Well, and the parents had obviously given up.
Where was Supernanny when she was needed the most? Or alternatively Mary Poppins?
'But I don't want the purple one!' the little girl next to her screeched for the umpteenth time. 'I want to be the pink princess and that is why I need the pink pillow!'
'No,' her slightly older sister replied, sticking out her tongue, then turned towards Darcy, tongue still showing before adding her middle finger for emphasis.
She somehow reminded Elizabeth of her two youngest sisters at that age.
At least the smallest member of the family was blissfully unconcerned by his sister's troubles as he repeatedly slammed his spoon onto the tray of his high chair.
It was going to be very interesting how the parents thought the course would go with their little spawns of hell in attendance...
Dinner was served, by means of putting terrines, bowls and trays in the centre of each table so everyone could help themselves. The honey glazed gammon looked divine, but apparently not so much to the children.
'But I want chicken nuggets!' the pink princess, still squirming around on her purple cushion demanded.
While her sister simply remarked: 'I don't eat that!'
'Then what would you like to eat?' her mother cooed while mashing some potatoes and gravy for her youngest, who by now had thrown away his spoon in impatience, almost hitting Elizabeth with it.
'Not that!'
Oh, really? Now that answered the question...
'Shall I ask for some nuggets then?'
While one daughter nodded eagerly, the other shook her head with petulance.
'How about some mash?'
'Pizza!'
'I... - I am not sure they've got pizza here, darling.'
'But I want PIZZA!'
By now the whole dining room had turned their eyes towards the noisy group and Anne de Bourgh made her way over to them.
If it were her children, she would've died of shame at this point, but the parents seemed completely unconcerned that their offspring ruined everybody else's evening. Thinking about it, it was actually the perfect practice for a wedding breakfast, as there were bound to be children around, weren't there?
'Yes, we'll get you pizza, darling,' the mother smiled, just when Anne had reached them.
Thank goodness. Help was here.
'I want PIZZA!' the girl demanded
before her mother could say anything.
'Of course,' Anne smiled tiredly.
'And I want chicken nuggets!'
'Yes, I'll tell the chef. It will be a while, but I am sure we can organise something.'
'But I am hungry NOW!'
'Then you'll have to eat what is on the table. It's as simple as that,' Darcy, cutting some lices of gammon, remarked sternly and with the effect that both girls started crying.
They really were masters of manipulation, for their eyes stayed suspiciously dry as they sobbed seemingly inconsolably.
'Now really!' the mother flared up then turned towards Elizabeth. 'Are you sure you want to marry a man like that?'
'Yes,' she replied casually, helping herself to some gammon.
Well, they didn't need to know that Will and she were not actually getting married, but by now her ears sported quite a bit and had Darcy not lost his cool, she would have. And to think that due to this bunch Will and her now had to share a room! No wonder the babysitter had bolted. She would have done so, too.
To her surprise, Darcy calmly sliced some more gammon and without further ado put a small piece of it on each of the girl's plates.
'Try!'
It was obvious, that the girls had intended to throw yet another tantrum, but the authority in Will's voice stopped them in their tracks and a little reluctant they followed his order.
'That's nice,' the pink princess muttered with her mouth full of meat, while her sister only nodded.
'Right, I think that settles it, Anne. The food is lovely by the way.'
Again his cousin smiled.
'Are you sure you like it?' the mother asked worriedly.
Elizabeth could have throttled her.
Seriously? It was obvious that they did, with the way they tucked in with so much zeal she would not have believed it had she not seen it for herself.
Fortunately, both girls only nodded, happily munching away like two hungry caterpillars.
'Mash?' Darcy asked after they had polished off their plate without much ado, chewing with their mouths open.
'Please.'
'Veggies?'
'Nah.'
'You are right, they are too healthy anyway. More meat?'
'Yes!'
By now even the kids' father cast a thankful glance at Darcy, while the mother was still smouldering, presumably fretting over a stranger who had achieved more in five minutes than she had achieved in the time since her children's birth.
How was it anyway that he knew how to handle little girls throwing a temper tantrum? Ah yes, his little sister. Shit, that girl was lucky to have a big brother such as him. He would make a great dad one day.
She had no sooner thought that now all was well and they could all eat the rest of the meal in peace and perhaps have a bit of a conversation when the little boy started to play up. Of course!
'What's wrong my darling?'
Seriously? He was rubbing his eyes, hm, what could possibly be wrong with him? And on top of that, he had this suspiciously concentrated look on his face. One she still remembered from when Lydia was small. And sure enough, the fart was loud enough to have people over at the other table stare at them. And not only that, the olfactory component was mind-boggling, which had to say something, considering that she was used to shovelling shit as a livelihood.
At least the stench made that even the mother got the hint and disappeared carrying her youngest at arm's length while the father gathered his daughters together.
'Good night!' they both waved happily, and with a grin Elizabeth realised that the younger girl finally snatched the pink cushion on her way out of the room.
Silence erupted when the family had left, presumably as many thought about whether they were ready to have children of their own or rather not. It was quite amusing to watch the various expressions, some of relief, others of annoyance, and others rather contemplative.
It was Fitz who interrupted her thoughts as he plunked down on the now vacant chair next to Will.
'So, Darcy, I see you haven't lost your touch with children,' he joked.
'Apparently not.'
'He's good with children,' the young man grinned, nudging his cousin's shoulder, before reaching out his hand. 'Richard Fitzwilliam, or Fitz for short. Nice to finally meet the woman my cousin is going to marry...'
'We're not...' Darcy stammered.
'Yes, yes, yes, I know. You rather stay single and sit in your library at Pemberley reading the night away instead of... - Okay, that is perhaps not appropriate for the ears of a lady.'
'Who said I am a lady?'
'No-one. It is unnecessary to do so. I hope my cousin has not missed the opportunity to tell you that you look drop dead gorgeous in that dress?'
Yeah, right!
'We had to hurry or we would have been late, Fitz,' Darcy replied evasively.
'Ah, perhaps that was just as well. Seriously, my cousin can be a bit too prim and proper, don't you agree? Had it been me, we would not have gotten out of that room for the next couple of hours.'
'Fitz!'
'No, really. Not when my girlfriend would be wearing a dress like that.'
Darcy frowned while Fitz grinned cheekily, and did she hallucinate, or did he stuff something into Darcy's pocket?
'There is nothing wrong with Lizzy's dress. She looks stunning in it.'
'Oh, so you did take notice? Wow! Ah, I see, our aunt is going to hold her usual welcoming-speech. Well, have fun then. Both of you. - And Lizzy, if my cousin proves to be too bad of a dancer, you'll find me in the billiard room.'
'Sorry about that,' Will muttered, just when Lady Catherine raised her voice to greet them all.
All, that was, minus the couple with the kids.
'Welcome to Rosings Park, I hope you will have a lovely stay and that the course will help you on the greatest day of your life - your wedding day!' she announced pompously. 'As you might have seen already, we've had to make a couple of changes to our initial programme, and since the dance instructors couldn't make it this evening, we will offer type-consultation for the ladies instead, and rhetoric lessons for the men and have the dancing lessons all day tomorrow.'
'Rhetoric lessons?' Darcy voiced dumbfounded. 'Whatever for?'
'Making speeches, I presume. Actually, after staying with Jane for almost two weeks, I am not much in the mood for another type-consultation. Do you think I could skive off and read instead? I mean, it's the dancing classes we are here for, right?'
'Yep. - Perfect plan. Do you mind if I join you?'
'No, not in the least.'
Well, it would have been too easy, she presumed. They had not made their way out of the dining room when they came face to face with their formidable host. Up close Lady Catherine de Bourgh looked even sterner than she had from afar, and Elizabeth noticed that she had, in fact, little in common with her daughter.
'Ah, there you are Fitzwilliam! I hope you have found everything to your liking. Now, if you would have the courtesy to introduce me to your partner...'
'Well...' Darcy stammered, looking sheepish. 'There seems to be a problem with the rooms.'
'What? What is wrong with my accommodations? I was under the impression they were perfectly sufficient for their purpose.'
'Oh, yes, they are, but you see, we require a second room.'
'Come, don't be silly. Why would you need another room? If this lady - whom by the way you still have not introduced - is your girlfriend, you can have no objections, to share a room with her and if she is not, then I don't see a problem either. You know how to keep your hands to yourself, don't you? She is a rather pretty sort of person I have to say, if perhaps a bit short. And I never much liked freckles.'
Okay, the woman was blunt. In a very blunt manner. Heck, Elizabeth wasn't sure if she had ever met such a straightforward person. Yes, she was quite frank herself, but there was such a thing as too much honesty, right?
'This, Aunt Cathy, is Miss Elizabeth Bennet - Elizabeth, this is
my aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh...'
'Pleasure, Madam,' Elizabeth actually curtsied, and deeply at that.
She could not help it. It was almost a reflex. The result was an unexpected one as the stern lady's mouth started twitching as she glanced at her perplexed looking and oddly enough blushing nephew.
'Likewise, Miss Bennet. May I make a suggestion?'
'Yes, of course.'
The lady leaned forward and whispered, quite audibly, so that everyone around them was sure to hear it: 'When wearing a short, fitted dress, you should not curtsy quite so low unless, of course, you like flashing your underwear.'
Oh, fuck! She had shown her stockings and the suspenders she'd attached them to for safety to everyone who'd glanced in their direction. And since she had been speaking to the far famed Lady Catherine, that had been quite a few. No wonder she had felt as if all eyes were on her. They were, and for all the wrong reasons.
'Well, I'll leave you to your classes then. Ladies this way, and men that. Enjoy your stay.'
And, with that, she took Elizabeth's arm and led her to her doom before - PUFF! - like a genie, she was gone. Blast!
Was nothing going right today? Yeah, the answer was blatantly obvious: No!
Chapter 36:
Rhyme-time
Well, technically, now that his aunt had gone leading Elizabeth away and to her doom, he could sneak upstairs and read, as Lizzy had suggested they should, or rather perv about the sight of the lace of her stockings when her dress had slipped up just now. Not to mention the suspenders. But hey, without her right beside him on the sofa that would not be fair, would it? Not when she was trapped among a bunch of brides all desperate for advice on how to look good on their wedding day. And in all likeliness as artificial as they possibly could.
Elizabeth, on the other hand, was perfect just the way she was. Seriously, there were women who looked worse with makeup on than without and he was sure Lizzy belonged to the latter group. Yes, he had seen her with a little bit of war paint, so to say, on karaoke-night, and she had still looked lovely, but it had been so little makeup, that it hardly counted and besides he still thought her prettier without.