by Viola Rivard
Day and night became interchangeable to Asch. Nothing existed except for desire and satisfaction—desire for his mate, and satisfaction when he took his release inside of her.
After his initial frenzy had worn off, Asch’s mind cleared, marginally. He recognized that Mila had other needs besides his cock, namely food and water. When they woke, after he had taken her at least once, Asch would go down to the river and collect water for her, giving Caim time to take Mila for himself. The routine served to make Caim less temperamental when Asch took her first.
Once the supply of fresh food had run out, they hunted in shifts, bringing back small game from the valley. For once, Asch took no pleasure in hunting. As he sank his teeth into his prey, all he could think of was returning to his mate and sinking himself back inside of her warm body.
The first morning that Asch didn’t wake up with a painful erection, he knew that the thrall was finally over. Mila was nestled between the two of them, her head turned into Caim’s chest while her legs were laced with Asch’s. Even in her sleep, she tried to spread herself evenly between the two of them.
Occasionally he’d wonder, if she had to, which one of them Mila would choose. As quickly as the thought came to him though, Asch would discard it. She had chosen, and she’d chosen both of them. Now more than ever, he knew that.
When he’d seen Caim with her, smelled Caim’s sweat all over his naked mate, he’d nearly lost his mind. Caim had managed to restrain him, barely. Mila hadn’t needed to accept him, but she had.
Asch leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead before standing to stretch his limbs. He rolled his shoulders, his sore muscles protesting the act. He needed a good run.
~~~
Mila lay still for a while after she woke, assessing the miserable state of her body. She hadn’t known that it was possible to be sore in so many places. Everything above her waist ached, and everything below it flat-out hurt. After managing to push Caim’s heavy arm off of her, she sat up and stretched, trying to work a knot out of her lower back.
She felt around for Asch, but his side of the bed was cold. She figured he must be out hunting, and her stomach growled at the thought. How long had it been since she’d eaten?
More than hungry, she was thirsty. Her mouth was parched and she suspected some of her discomfort was probably related to dehydration. Crawling over to the far side of the bedding, her hands found the clay pot that she’d been drinking from the night before. She picked it up, bringing it to her lips and tilting it back slowly. A scant amount of liquid, hardly enough to wet her cracked lips, dripped into her mouth.
Setting the bowl down, she crawled back over to where Caim was sleeping. She put a hand on his arm, giving him a little nudge.
“Caim.” When he didn’t respond she shook him a little harder. “Hey, wake up. I need something to drink.” He remained still, and if it weren’t for the sound of his heavy breathing, she would have thought he was a corpse. She considered reaching between his legs and giving him a hard squeeze, but decided that probably wasn’t the best way to wake an alpha werewolf. “Okay, well, I tried.”
Mila managed to find her clothes in the dark and then headed up the narrow passage that led out of the den. The sky was a deep blue that indicated that the sun had either just left, or it was fast approaching. She was surprised to find a light dusting of snow covering the ground, and considered going back inside as she had not brought her boots. After a moment’s hesitation, she decided to suck it up and head for the river.
Getting to the river was more grueling than she’d expected. She followed the sound of the water, doing her best to avoid the sharp rocks, pointy acorns, and prickly pinecones that littered the forest floor. By the time she made it to the river, her toes had surpassed being cold and had settled for burning.
Sitting down at the riverbank she tucked her feet under her legs and bent down to scoop up water in her cupped hands. The cold liquid was refreshing, and for a few moments she forgot about the pain she was in and focused on quenching her thirst. Once she’d drunk until she couldn’t drink anymore, she leaned back and ran a hand through her tangled hair.
It occurred to her that this was the first time she’d been outside alone since she’d come to the pack, and despite the cold, it felt pretty good. There was really something to be said about fresh air coupled with personal space.
She knew that she couldn’t stay long. Not only was it freezing out, but the guys would probably be pissed if they realized she was gone, especially considering…
Mila looked down at her stomach warily. Her fingers twitched with the urge to pull her shirt up and feel around, as if there was even anything there to feel besides her own belly fat. It just baffled her that her body could very well be creating life as she sat there, but she would be none the wiser for weeks. The thought of waiting so long to know one way or the other was daunting.
For some reason, the idea of being pregnant didn’t seem as scary as the idea of getting pregnant had. She decided it probably just hadn’t sunk in yet, and she’d revisit her thoughts on it when her condition was less ambiguous. Right now, she should just appreciate the fact that for the first time in weeks, she wasn’t really stressed out about anything.
A soft crunching sound drew her attention to the woods on the other side of the river. Mila squinted, making out a shadowed form approaching the bank. Groaning inwardly, she prepared herself for the fit Asch was going to throw when he found her away from the den.
Just as she was starting to climb to her feet, Mila froze. The shadow emerged from the forest, not a wolf at all, but a giant cat.
CHAPTER SEVEN
At age ten, there wasn’t anything that Mila hadn’t known the answer to. On a camping trip in the Catskills, one of her friends had asked how the mountains had gotten their name.
“Because it’s full of big mountain cats,” Mila had informed her. “And they’re always killing people who don’t follow the rules and wander off. That’s why they call it Cats-kill.”
“What happens if a mountain cat comes to eat us while we’re sleeping?” her terrified friend had asked.
“Just ignore it and play dead. Everyone knows that.”
Calling the creature she was currently locked eyes with a mountain ‘cat’ didn’t really do him justice. Easily the size of a bear, with massive fangs that looked to be bigger than her forearm, it was quite possibly the scariest thing she’d ever seen in her life.
Having none of the confidence of her younger self, Mila stared at the beast, her eyes wide with terror. Near the edge of the valley the river was narrow, leaving only a few yards to separate the two of them. She doubted that she could even make it back to the woods before he cleared the river. She had no delusions of being able to escape, but hoped that as he was obviously some sort of werecat, she may at least be able to reason with him.
There were a lot of things she could have said in that moment. ‘Hey, I’m the mate of the alphas so get lost unless you want to be dog chow,’ or even just ‘please don’t eat me’ would have probably been the smart thing to say. Instead, she raised one hand to the oversized mountain lion and croaked out, “Hello.”
Her body tensed as he took a step forward, his nostrils flaring. As adrenaline coursed through her veins, she realized that of all the things she had not been prepared for, fighting a giant cat was at the very top of the list.
There were only two choices, fight or flight, and she wasn’t equipped for either. She slipped a hand behind her back, her numb fingers closing around a smooth rock. It probably wouldn’t do anything more than piss him off, but she needed to do something.
When he was halfway through the river, he stopped abruptly, freezing in place. Certain that he was preparing to lunge for her, Mila shot up, hurling the rock as hard as she could.
She had always had miserable hand-eye coordination, so she was stunned when it actually hit him square on the head. Even more stunned when he suddenly bolted from the river, fleeing back into the f
orest as if she had shot a gun at him. She stared after his retreating form, awestruck.
“Where the fuck is Caim?”
Mila screamed, nearly tripping over her own feet as she spun on her heel. Asch was standing just a few feet behind her, and he looked livid.
“Oh my god, you can’t sneak up on me like that.”
He advanced on her, his face contorted with fury. “Where’s Caim?” he repeated, grabbing onto her shoulder. Mila flinched under his harsh glare.
“I don’t know. Sleeping?” she offered.
His eyes widened. “Do you have any idea what could have happened to you?”
Her own temper flaring, she said, “Believe it or not, I happened to notice that I was almost eaten by a giant cat.” Actually saying ‘cat’ aloud had her thinking back to the night they’d come to the new den. Caim had told her that Asch was out scouting for cats. Her eyes narrowed. “You knew about the cats.”
His jaw ticked. “That has nothing to do with you leaving the den on your own.”
“Don’t you think that if I knew there were cats the size of grizzly bears wandering around our totally-unsafe territory, I wouldn’t have left the den?”
Asch sighed, and then unexpectedly pulled her into a tight embrace. Despite her desire to cave in and accept his hold, she stiffened, still wanting to be angry with him.
“The valley is safe,” he told her. “And I promise you, I’m going to find that cat and gut him, but right now all I want is to get you home.”
She allowed herself to lean into him, just a little, her cheek coming to rest on the flat plane of his pectoral muscle. “Anything else you’re keeping from me?” She didn’t actually expect him to answer.
“Tomorrow morning, I’m leaving for Blackthorn.”
She reared back. “What?”
He frowned. “I’m taking a small group of wolves and we’re going to meet with Blackthorn’s leader.”
“Why? What for?”
Mila wasn’t sure what upset her more, the fact that he was leaving or that he’d waited until the last minute to tell her. They had just become mates, like, for real mates, and he was going to leave her? Now?
“They attacked Carter County again. More people died.”
“So what?” she shot back, instantly regretting it. She groaned and rubbed her forehead. “I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just, why do we have to get involved? They didn’t attack Tye, did they?”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. If they keep killing humans then the government is going to get involved. It’ll be a mess for everyone.” He placed a hand on the back of her neck. “We’re not going to fight. We’re just going to talk, and that’s why I need to go.”
Asch lifted her chin, but she refused to meet his gaze. “I’m cold. I want to go back to the den.”
He stood for a moment longer, presumably waiting to see if she had anything more to say. She didn’t.
CHAPTER EIGHT
As they neared the Cairn, Brae and Rosie came out to greet them. In their wolf forms, they pranced alongside the alphas excitedly, oblivious to the trio’s bleak mood.
Caim had just risen from the den as Asch and Mila returned from the river. She and Caim both had been taken completely by surprise when Asch walked up to him and punched him square in the face. Caim had fought back for all of about twenty seconds, before Asch had told (yelled at) him that she’d nearly been killed. Even more surprising was that Caim hadn’t been angry with her. In fact, he hadn’t said a single word to her since they left.
She was left to stew in the silence as she rode on Asch’s back, Caim trailing behind them in his wolf form. The longer she’d thought about everything that had happened, the more she’d begun to doubt herself.
It had been stupid of her to go off on her own. She should have tried harder to wake Caim, and she shouldn’t have left the den without one of the males. Even without knowing about the cats, it was just plain stupid for her to be wandering around the forest in the dark. Thanks to her stupidity, she had driven yet another rift between Asch and Caim, and although Caim hadn’t seemed angry with her, she had a feeling that he was going to go nuclear on her when they got home.
She was also angry at herself for the way she’d reacted to Asch’s news. Sure, he should have told her sooner, but really, what would she have done with the information except sulked? Now Asch would be leaving in a few hours, and she wasn’t sure that she’d be ready to swallow her pride before he left.
Everything was just a big mess, and all she wanted was to be able to hit the rewind button and start the day over. She could wake up beside Caim all over again, ignore her thirst, and just snuggle closer to him while she waited for Asch to return.
As they came to the entrance of the den, the females shifted into their human forms. Brae beamed at her, offering Mila her hand. She took it, allowing Brae to help her down off of Asch’s back.
“Welcome home,” she said, pulling Mila into a fierce hug.
By the time Mila finally freed herself from Brae’s grasp, Asch and Caim had shifted as well. She looked back to Caim, trying to get a read on his face, but he stalked past, not sparing her a glance.
Mila’s throat constricted, and she felt the fine muscles in her face begin to quiver ominously. Determined to hold herself together, she took a deep, calming breath.
“Brae, come with me,” Asch ordered. “Rose, take Mila to her room. Make sure she eats, and have someone get a bath set up for her, got it?”
Rose nodded in response. Asch gave Mila a quick pat on the shoulder, and then headed inside the den. Still oblivious to the tension, Brae smiled at Mila before heading off after him.
It was worse than she’d thought. Neither of them even wanted to look at her.
A terrible thought occurred to her then. What if this was just the way things would be now? She knew, logically, that they were both mad and probably just needed time to cool off, but it did little to make her feel better. Now that the thrall was over, what incentive did they really have to keep her happy? It wasn’t as if they’d let her go running back to Tye given that she could be pregnant, and even if she could go back, what the hell would she do if she was pregnant?
“Come, Mila,” Rosie said cheerfully. She placed a hand on her back, urging her towards the entrance of the den. “What would you like to eat? I saved some pork for you.”
She didn’t want to eat. She wanted to crawl inside a dark hole and scream.
“I’m sick of meat,” she spat, wrapping her arms around her torso. “Don’t you have anything here besides meat?”
Rosie looked thoughtful. “How about fish?”
“I said besides meat.”
Rosie laughed. “Fish is not meat.” Her laughter faded when she caught Mila’s flinty stare. “I believe Gem may have some chips stored away somewhere. Would you like potato chips?”
~~~
Rosie walked on eggshells around Mila for the rest of the morning. The sun had risen by the time Mila had settled into her bath, casting warm light around her bedroom.
If the amount of soap Rosie had poured into the bathwater was any indication, Mila must have smelled terrible. It made sense considering, according to Rosie, she’d been gone for four nights.
Four nights. It had been four amazing nights. Four nights of completely shedding her inhibitions and engaging in wild, primitive sex with the two men that she loved.
Whoa, loved? Mila sank down in the tub, her heart pounding. She did not love them. She hardly knew them. And could anyone even love two people at once? Clearly she was losing her mind.
She heard shuffling and hushed voices from behind the flap that covered her doorway. A second later, Rosie and Gem appeared from behind the flap. Rosie approached the tub, setting a stack of towels down on the floor. Gem came to sit on the other side of the bath, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
Gen announced, “I’ll wash your back, Mila.”
Mila found herself smiling, and lifted her hand from the wat
er to offer up a rag. “You sure know how to say ‘hello’ to a girl.”
Gem accepted the rag and moved behind Mila. “Sorry, I’m just so excited.” She dipped the rag in the water before bringing it up to Mila’s shoulders.
Not to be ignored, Rosie added, “We all are.”
Mila closed her eyes, flexing the muscles in her back as Gem rubbed the cloth in small circles. “I didn’t think you’d miss me so much.”
“That is not it at all,” said Rosie. “We are excited about the pups.”
Mila felt the beginnings of a headache. “What pups?” With an exaggerated swing of her head, she looked from side to side. “I see no pups here.” Rosie glanced down at Mila’s stomach. “Oh, gimme a break, there’s no way you could possibly know—wait, can you smell it?”
Rosie held her hands up defensively. “No, of course not.”
“We won’t be able to tell for at least a few days, prolly not for a week,” Gem said from behind her.
Mila let out a breath, her shoulders slumping in relief. Her day was already bad enough, and the last thing she needed was to find out that she actually was pregnant, on top of everything else.
“But you did couple with both of the alphas during the thrall,” Rosie went on to say. “There is no way you cannot be carrying at least one of their pups. There would have to be something terribly wrong with you.”
Mila put her head in her hands and groaned, unable to summon the energy to smack the she-wolf. She tried to take a mental inventory of everything that was going wrong in her life.
She had blown Asch off, and now he was giving her the cold shoulder. Caim was so mad he wouldn’t even look at her. She was probably pregnant by one of the two men that currently wanted nothing to do with her. If she wasn’t pregnant, everyone would probably think there was something wrong with her. After all, what were the odds that both men had failed the touchdown?
And what if there really was something wrong with her, and she couldn’t get pregnant? Would they find some other woman, one without a defective uterus, and make Mila leave?