They stood there, not speaking, the silence dreadful and wonderful.
Her eyes dropped, and a slow flush crept up her cheeks. She looked back up at him, a tremulous smile starting on her lips. Time seemed to slow down as he became aware of tiny details—the little mole on her earlobe, the cupid bow of her mouth, the deep violet color of her eyes. He had to draw her into his arms. As he did so, her hands crept around him, and he felt her strength as she pulled herself into his embrace. And then Jonathan Hershberger knew that he had found what he had always wanted—someone to be his, someone to belong to, someone to love.
Reuben stood in the middle of Jenny’s empty room. The dresser drawers were empty, and Jenny’s prayer kappe lay on the dresser next to the amputated locks of her long hair. He looked in the closet. Her knapsack, coat, and shoes were gone. Reuben turned back to his bedroom and shook Jerusha awake.
She looked up at him with a question in her eyes. “What is it, husband?”
“Jenny’s gone,” Reuben answered.
Jerusha slipped out of bed and ran to Jenny’s room. It was as Reuben had said. She sat down on Jenny’s bed and put her hands over her face. Reuben stood helplessly in the doorway. After a few moments Jerusha looked up. “What shall we do, Reuben?”
“Jenny’s going to try to find her mother. I’m afraid my response to her didn’t have the effect I hoped for. Instead it seems to have made her more determined than ever to find the answers to her questions. We must find her before she makes any more foolish decisions.”
“But what if she’s already left town? What do we do then? She’s taken the money she saved, and that will at least buy her a bus ticket.”
“She may not need a bus ticket,” Reuben said. “The Englischer she met may have a car. They’re probably leaving together.”
“She said his name was Jonathan. Is there any way to find him?” Jerusha asked.
“She either met him in Wooster or here. Maybe Bobby knows something. Not a lot of strangers come our way, and Bobby keeps a watchful eye on his town.”
“She also said that a newspaper reporter gave her some clues that she could follow up on. Can we talk to him?”
“That’s probably a good idea. If we can find out what she knows, maybe we can discover where she plans to look.”
Reuben placed his hand awkwardly on Jerusha’s shoulder. A terrible picture came to him. He was standing in the emergency room in Wooster. Bobby was with him. The door from the ICU opened, and Jerusha came out. She looked at him with terrible anger, almost hatred in her eyes. She walked slowly toward him until she stood in front of him. She began to strike him on the chest with both hands. Reuben pushed the picture out of his mind and spoke to Jerusha.
“I promise you, Jerusha, I’ll do everything in my power to find her and bring her home. I will not lose her like I lost Jenna.”
Jerusha looked at him, but this time there was no anger in her eyes. Instead of striking him she embraced him.
Jenny felt so safe in Jonathan’s arms. She held him as though she would never let go. Finally he pulled back and looked at her. “What happened to you? Your hat, your clothes—and your hair! What did you do to your hair?”
Jenny grimaced and pulled at the short curls by her ear. She took a deep breath. “I got into an argument with my father last night. I said some horrible things to him, and then I told him about you. I told him that I…” She stopped.
“That you what?”
Jenny looked into his eyes. “I told him that I had met you and that…I was in love with you.”
Johnny pulled her close again and whispered, “Jenny…you love me?”
“Yes, I do.”
Johnny let out a sigh and kissed her forehead. “What did he do?”
“He called for the bishop and some elders, and they placed me under a temporary bann, the shunning, like I told you about. I’m an outcast unless I repent. But if I do repent, it means I have to stop looking for my birth mother. It also means I can never see you again. I can’t do either of those things.”
“But, Jenny, that means you can’t be Amish anymore, doesn’t it?”
Jenny took a deep breath. “Yes, eventually it would mean excommunication and complete ostracism from my family and my faith.”
“Are you really prepared to do that?” Johnny asked quietly.
Jenny moved back a step and lifted her head defiantly. “I’ve given my heart to you. Don’t you want me to love you?”
Johnny saw the fear in her eyes. He stepped toward her and took her hands in his.
“Jenny Springer, I don’t know how it happened or why it happened, but in just these few days I’ve come to love you as I’ve never loved anyone in my life. You’re so beautiful and smart and I want to be with you always. I’ve never believed before, but as I look at you and hear you say you love me, I almost can believe there’s a God and that He must love me very much to bring me here to meet you.”
Johnny saw relief and joy flood Jenny’s face. Then the awesome obligation they had taken on by declaring their love struck them. Suddenly they were both shy, not knowing what to say.
Jenny broke the spell. “Jonathan, I’ve also come to ask for your help.”
“Is it about finding your birth mother?” Johnny asked.
“Yes. I know I’ll never be whole until I know who I am. I think I know where I need to start. I’ve had a dream…or maybe it’s just a memory from when I was very little, about the time of the car wreck. In my memory…or dream…my mother spoke to me. She was very sad and said we had to go to New York. And then she said the name Robert. I don’t know what it means, but I know I must go to New York.”
“New York is an awfully big place. Are you sure?”
“Yes I am,” Jenny answered. “I have some clues we can follow. And I have two hundred dollars. I don’t know what to do exactly, but somehow I believe that God is trying to show me something…the way to find my mother. Will you take me?”
Johnny looked at Jenny for a long time. He thought about the fifty thousand dollars he had hidden in the barn. If things didn’t work out in New York, it would be a simple thing to forget about the crooks, come back and get the money, and then disappear with Jenny.
“Yes, I’ll take you. And don’t worry. I have some money too.”
Even as he spoke he felt guilty hiding the truth from her. He felt his jaw clench. His discomfort didn’t escape her notice and a look of uncertainty passed across her face. Then she spoke hurriedly.
“If we’re going, we need to leave very soon. My daed will be looking for me. I told my parents your name, and it won’t take long for Uncle Bobby to figure out who you are. All he has to do is ask at the library. You haven’t exactly kept a low profile.”
Johnny thought about the van sitting out in front of the room and he realized how stupid it was to have it decorated in such a noticeable way. He should have taken Dutch’s offer and let him paint it. Too late now. They’d have to make do and try to leave undetected.
“Okay, I’m ready. Do you have anything else?”
“Yes, my knapsack is outside by the door, but I don’t have much.”
Johnny picked up his guitar and backpack and looked at Jenny. “Are you sure about this?”
“No, but I have to go, even not knowing if it’s right. All I know for sure is that I love you.”
“Okay then, I’m going to make a bargain with you. I’ll take you to New York, and we will follow the clues you have as far as we can. I’ll do my best to help you, but when and if we exhaust the leads and we start getting low on money, I’m going to bring you home.
“But, Jonathan, I—”
“Look Jenny, I know you think that God is somehow leading you to do this. I’m afraid I don’t have as much faith as you, so I have to go on what’s real. You’ve got to promise me that when you see we’ve come to the end of possibilities, you’ll take it to mean that God didn’t really tell you to do this and let me bring you home.”
“But, Jonathan, wh
at about us?”
“That’s something we’ll have to work out after you get this out of your system. Is it a deal?”
Jenny slowly nodded her head.
“Let’s go then,” he said, gathering up his things and heading for the van. Jenny climbed in while Johnny went to the office, paid his bill, and dropped off the key. He came back, got in, then looked over at Jenny.
“Are you ready?”
Jenny looked out the window at the small village she had grown up in. She had never been farther than Wooster or Dalton in her whole life, and the idea of leaving gave her a chill.
“Let’s go quickly, Jonathan. Please.”
Johnny started the van and drove out onto the main road, heading out of town. As he drove by Dutch’s garage, Dutch was rolling up the front door. He watched the brightly colored van go by. He also noticed who was sitting in the passenger seat.
“That’s interesting,” he said aloud to the old gray cat rubbing against his legs. “That was Jenny Springer with that boy.”
He thought about what he had seen, and then he walked into the shop and picked up the receiver from the phone sitting on a cluttered desk by the back wall.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Trouble
JOHNNY HEADED EAST ON HIGHWAY 30 toward Canton, Ohio. When he got to Canton he turned north toward Akron, caught Interstate 70, and followed it until it intersected with Interstate 80. They had been driving for a couple of hours when he began to have some misgivings. What was he doing? The guys who were following him knew he was from Long Island. His roommates in San Francisco must have ratted him out. The gang had almost caught him once before. They would no doubt be on the Interstate somewhere looking for him.
He glanced over at Jenny. She was looking at him, and when their eyes met, she blushed and looked down. He knew he was putting her in danger, but he didn’t know what else to do. The situation was crazy. Here he was with an Amish girl he had only known for a few days, headed for New York to find her mother, who was probably dead. What could they possibly do in New York? It was such a big town. How had all this happened? He broke the silence.
“Jenny?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you sure you’re okay with all of this? I mean, it’s kind of a strange situation we’re in. We’ve known each other for only a few days, and in that time you’ve been disciplined by your church, you’ve split with your parents, and you’re heading to New York with a guy you barely know to find your mother, who you haven’t seen for fifteen years. How are we going to do this?”
Jenny looked at Jonathan again. The muscle in his jaw was working, and his teeth were grinding on each other.
“Why are you doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“Grinding your teeth.”
Johnny realized his jaw was clenched, his shoulders were tight, and his hands were gripped on the wheel. He tried to relax. “I’m just a little uptight about all this.”
“Why should you be…uptight?”
Johnny stared out the window. Outside a light mist of rain sifted down onto the glass from a dull, gray sky. Johnny fumbled with the knob that turned on the wipers. It stuck as usual, and he had to twist it hard until the wipers went on. The slow swish, swish of the blades locked into the rhythm of his breathing. The weight of his secret suddenly became more than he could deal with. He looked back at her.
“Jenny, there’s more to my story than you know. I probably should have told you, but I had no idea we would be running away together. I didn’t know I would fall in love with you.”
Jenny turned on the seat to face him. “What didn’t you tell me?”
Johnny took a deep breath. He looked out at the countryside that was sliding away behind them and then he spoke. “I’m in trouble, Jenny.”
“Trouble?”
“Yes. I…I got involved in some things back in San Francisco. I mean I didn’t really do anything. I just drove a guy I know over to a place where he was going to do some business.”
“What kind of business?”
A hot flush crept up Johnny’s neck. It puzzled him. He had been so free back in San Francisco. “Whatever turns you on” had been his mantra. But now, with this girl who had lived all her life in the simplicity of a world without drugs or rock music or pop philosophy, he felt laughable and foolish.
“I…well…”
“What kind of business, Jonathan?”
“Okay. Give me a chance here, because I feel really stupid telling you this. I was with a guy who was going to sell some acid to some other guys.”
“Acid?”
“LSD. It’s a drug that makes you have hallucinations.”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“Sell acid or have hallucinations?”
“Have hallucinations…well, both.”
“Well, back there, taking an acid trip seemed very hip and romantic and adventuresome. Now I think it was just a big waste of time. But let me finish. I drove this guy out to a town south of San Francisco to meet some guys who were going to buy the drugs. It was a way for me to make a couple hundred dollars. I didn’t know there were guns involved.”
“Guns?”
“Yeah, guns. It turned out that the guys he was dealing with were big-time crooks. I think they were from the East Coast and were trying to move in on the scene out in San Francisco. They were real gangster types with suits and guns. And I also didn’t know that Shub—that’s the guy I was with—was going to try to rip them off.”
“Rip them off of what?”
Johnny had to smile. She was so innocent.
“What’s so funny?”
“It’s just that…well, it’s like we live on the same planet, but we operate in two different universes. I guess I need a translator. ‘Rip them off’ means that he was going to steal their money. He didn’t really have any acid. It was just sugar.”
“But that’s dishonest. How could you be part of that?”
“That’s a good question, Jenny. I didn’t know he was going to do what he did. I was just along for the ride.”
“Well then, why are you in trouble?”
He took another deep breath. “When he was in the motel doing the deal, they must have found out he was trying to rip them…trying to cheat them. I guess Shub pulled his gun and took their money. He tried to run back to the car so I could help him get away, but they shot him.”
“You mean, with their guns?”
“Yes, with their guns.”
“Did he get badly hurt?”
“Jenny, they killed him. He died right there where you’re sitting.”
Jenny groaned. She looked down at the seat where Shub had fallen in those last moments.
“They…they killed him?”
“Yes. But that’s not the end of the story. When Shub ran out to the car, he threw a bag into the van. The drug dealers were shooting at Shub and the van. They shot out your side mirror. They thought I was in on the rip-off, so they tried to kill me too. I managed to get away, but they chased me almost back to the place where I lived. I knew they would find me eventually, so I packed my bags and left town that night.
“I was headed back to Long Island to my mom’s house, and after a few days on the road I stopped at a motel west of Cleveland. They showed up at the motel. They must have found out where I was going from my roommates because they had followed me all the way.”
“Why were they following you if you left town?”
“I have their money.” There, he said it.
“Their money?”
“Yeah. Before Shub died, he tossed a bag into the van. It had fifty thousand dollars in it.”
“Fifty thousand dollars!”
“Yes.”
The look in Jenny’s eyes made Johnny feel sick. She looked away. After a few minutes she looked back at him.
“Can’t you give it back and just be free of them?”
“Jenny, you don’t understand. I saw them kill a man. I took their money, although
I didn’t know I did until later. They don’t want to leave any witnesses to their crime. If they find me, they will kill me. I was going to the sheriff’s office in Wooster when I almost ran over you. And then everything changed and I thought I’d go to jail if I told your uncle and I wanted to find out more about you and then everything happened with your dad and here we are.”
Jenny sat silent for a few moments looking out the window. When she finally spoke there was sadness in her voice. “If these men find you and kill you and I’m with you, won’t they kill me too?”
Johnny stared straight ahead. Outside it had really clouded up and a few larger drops of rain began to slap down on the windshield. The worn-out wipers did their best to push them away. Jenny asked the question again. His spine felt like ice, and the muscles in his jaw started moving again.
“Probably.”
“Probably? You mean my chances of living are not very good, don’t you? What were you going to do if they found us? How could you put me in danger? You’re grinding your teeth again.”
“I’m sorry, Jenny. I didn’t mean to put you in danger. All this happened so fast.”
“All this?”
“Yes, meeting you and falling in love with you and leaving Apple Creek.”
Jenny stared straight ahead and then spoke with measured words. “If you really loved me, you would never have put me in danger. I don’t think you know what love is, Jonathan.”
Her words cut him like someone had laid a bullwhip on his back. He stared straight ahead as they drove on in silence. After a long time she spoke again.
“Jonathan, I think I’ve made a mistake. Not about loving you, because I know I can’t change what I feel for you. My mother once told me that one day I would find a man who I would surrender my heart to. I didn’t believe that could happen, but when I met you, it did. I can’t do anything about that. But I made a mistake in not listening to my papa. This desire to know my birth mother has blinded me to everything I already have. I thought I could go with you and find the answer to my questions and everything would be all right.
“I was so angry with Papa, but now I know that I’ve hurt him terribly. He warned me that my quest would lead me into trouble, and he was right. Now I’m scared—scared because I love you so much, and scared because I don’t know you and don’t know if I can trust you. I want to be with you forever, but how can I? Can you tell me Jonathan? Can you tell me what I should do?”
The Road Home Page 13