"May I sit with you, Highness?"
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ looked to the voice, surprised, nodding, “Of course, Sister."
Sam sat, also watching the fire. After a few moments, she said, “You walk a lonely path.” She picked up a stick and started to draw designs in the dirt near her feet, “You keep yourself well separated from your warriors and your Realm."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ looked at her, not knowing how to respond. She thought about the statement for a moment, “Is this an observation, or do you have an objection to how I interpret My position?"
Sam saw that she her statement had aggravated her sister, “I but admire your strength. Only this. To walk so singularly as you requires much strength. I have examined myself as Highest of Woden and compared it to you and your reign. I but need and seek more advice, while you stand alone, well knowing what to do and how to accomplish it."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ stared back into the fire, thinking Sam tedious, their conversations forced. She sighed, knowing she lacked the patience she should have with her, “I have ruled far longer than you. Experience is a quick and harsh teacher."
"Will the Mungardies return the revenge?"
"Perhaps. But not for a few moons. Our response to their attack on the Dungaras was a complex one, instilling fear, disease, death, annihilation, and seizure. We caused much damage. But mostly, we surprised them with our strength and abilities. It is this they will have to think on."
There was silence between them for a few moments, then Sam asked, “When you made Uthrn a member of your Black Guard, all in camp but thought you were going to behead her."
This surprised San'lr'in'thel'ineln'. She looked at her sister, laughing lightly, “In truth?"
Sam nodded, not looking at her, “This be truth. Why did you make her a member of your Black Guard?"
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ shrugged lightly, “She earned it. She placed The Realm first over her fears. It is not easy for a warrior such as Uthrn or Ann'wn to face the wrath of their queen. I have seen warriors drop their swords in battle, dying there rather than face the punishment of their queen. To earn The High Queen's displeasure is to be humiliated in front of all the forces. Warriors are women of action and know not how to handle such emotional shame as this. Uthrn overcame her humiliation and shame. It is the most difficult moment of a warrior's life. Her loyalty and dedication to her Queen and The Realm are now without question."
"All think that you are now going to punish Ann'wn."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ chose not to respond openly to her statement, “You are a Highest. A leader of many women. What would you have Me do?"
"She made an error of judgment only. She wasn't disloyal, nor was she disobedient."
Sle'nel’ was standing in the forest, hidden in the darkness of its cover. She had been going to her queen, but saw Sam do as well. She listened, not wishing to interfere in their conversation. When Sam asked the question about Ann'wn's possible punishment, Sle'nel’ also wondered as to her Queen's response, knowing that the same question had taken wings, carrying itself by the winds into each warrior's mind. All the warriors sought her favor, but in its opposite, all the warriors well feared her disfavor. And all assumed that Ann'wn was now in her disfavor.
"You believe that that no great disservice was given, then?"
"Could we have known that they would have attacked as many villages as this? Even if Ann'wn had prepared her forces for such an attack, no defense could have included this many villages. We might have saved one or two, but I believe not that anyone could have predicted which villages, or how many. Not even you. And while several Dungaras’ villages were but destroyed, they were your enemies. That, and you have won much over the Mungardies this turn."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ sensed Sam's anger, “Do you assume I am to punish her, Highest? You sound most angry with Me, and yet I have given no voice to the issue."
"I am slightly angry, Highness, and I beg your patience with this, but Ann'wn will not come to her own defense. I have asked her to speak with you, but she says she will not, and to leave the issue as it stands."
"She cannot speak to Me of this. It is not allowed."
Sam objected, “She but serves you well."
"Yes. I am aware that she gives great effort.” She remained silent for a moment, then answered, “You think Me overly hard, My Sister, but I am High Queen of The Realm. I cannot afford the cost of errors. It is My duty and My vow. Many serve Me with all their effort, but effort is different than realization. We must succeed, or The Realm loses. I serve more than a village, Sam'r'in'thel'ineln'. I serve the entire Realm. I have not the eras and resources necessary to favor effort over accomplishments."
"So, you will punish her."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ laughed softly, “You try to force My answer. And you overly assume, My Sister.” She laughed softly again, “What rules Woden, Sam'r'in'thel'ineln', your heart or your knowledge of Woden's needs? For a warrior, your heart is gentle. I hadn't sensed this in you. A most admirable trait, though. Something I lack, I think, gentleness. Woden's women are most lucky to have you as their Highest. A gentle leader is a rarity."
"You mock me."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ shook her head, wearied from the forced conversation, “No. I envy you this trait. Gentleness. It simply means you wouldn't punish Ann'wn, while I might. While I have been called a strong queen, I think I have never been called a gentle queen.” She stared at the fire for a moment, then looked over to Sam, “And please recall that it was you who began this conversation. If you like not its direction, you have only yourself to blame."
"But Ann'wn is a most excellent of warriors, Highness, and dedicated beyond even Uthrn."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ nodded, looking saddened, “Yes. I am well aware of this."
"And she would face humiliation if it were your command."
"Yes. This I know well."
"So then, why will you punish her?"
"I have said not that I am to do as such."
"But you didn't say you were not going to."
She was tiring of Sam's ignorant insistence, “So. You are a gentle-hearted, but resolute Highest. You do have some excellent qualities about you. It is sad that we couldn't have known of each other prior. I wonder which of us would have been selected as High Queen had we been raised together."
Sam stood, upset that her sister kept avoiding the issue, “I am not a child, San'lr'in'thel'ineln'. I have done as you bid and deserve not your disregard."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ knew she had, like a child, forced her sister's impatience. She made a slight motion with her hand, rebuilding the fire. Quietly, and with much meaning, she said, “Sit down, Highest. I am weary from battle, and well exhausted. I mean no offense.” She waited a moment, then continued, “As you said, I walk a lonely path. My decisions are My own, but The Realm becomes punished for My mistakes. You raise a difficult issue this eve, and perhaps I am not yet ready to consider its conclusion. Sit down, and regain your patience."
"You will not answer me in regard to Ann'wn, then?"
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ looked up at the stars for a moment, sighing, “I have no answer."
* * * *
The next morn came without further incident or backlash from the Mungardies, as San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ had expected. Throughout the long eve, there had been much quiet talk about what The High Queen might do to Ann'wn, surprised that nothing had yet occurred. To a one, all were gladdened that they didn't walk in Ann'wn's boots at this moment.
The High Queen stood in front of all the forces that had participated in the prior turn's revenge upon the Mungardies, about to release them, ready to give them their departing orders in case of a further Mungardies’ attack. Suddenly, and fully surprising The High Queen, in front of all and just prior to The High Queen speaking, Ann'wn came up before her.
She knelt in front of The High Queen, placing all her armor and weapons on the ground at The High Queen's feet. Not a sound c
ould be heard in the camp, and all eyes were upon The High Queen. Ann'wn knelt on both knees and bowed, placing her forehead to the ground in full deferential posturing.
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ looked down at Ann'wn, feeling more heavily burdened in the moment than all the just-prior moments of the battle. No matter The High Queen's desires, Ann'wn, in her action of kneeling before her, unwittingly was forcing The High Queen to display a decision she hadn't yet made. She studied her force leader's thoughts, learning that Ann'wn was truly prepared to be beheaded. She sensed that Ann'wn's only regret in dying was that she had displeased her Queen.
Thoughts of what she might do now raced through her mind. She hoped that one would stand out from the rest as a brilliant solution. She knew she could take a vote from the warriors. But she also knew that this would be seen as weak. She could certainly allow Ann'wn to remain as her Force Leader with no punishment, but this would also be seen as weak unless her powers of oration were suddenly improved and could make all see the sense in this. She knew that she could behead Ann'wn, as was expected, and be done with it, yet knew that this wasn't the solution. Saddened by the thought, she knew she had become attached to this force leader, knowing her as excellent and loyal. Not thinking on it, she placed her hand upon her sword and unsheathed it, holding it to her side.
There must be a solution.
Sle'nel’ looked upon the scene with great anguish, now seeing her Queen pull her sword from its sheath. She had listened to Sam's arguments with San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ through the eve, but knew that San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ hadn't come to any decision. Now seeing that Ann'wn was about to be beheaded was more than she could bear. She wanted to react, but knew she couldn't. She couldn't show such disrespect to her lover. As tears began to fall down her face, she sadly realized there was nothing she could do to prevent this terrible moment. In spite of all her muscles wanting to react, to run to the scene to halt the process, she held steady, trusting her Queen.
I know she will find a way around this dilemma.
The Healer looked upon the scene with terror in her heart.
Not Ann'wn! Not our Ann'wn.
While knowing in her heart that Ann'wn gave no thought to her, she yet often hoped that they might come together. Now she stood frozen, watching helplessly as Ann'wn, her secret love, was to be beheaded. She felt her heart breaking, but knew she could do nothing, as anything she did would be seen as disloyalty to The High Queen. She stood silently, and sobbing her fear.
Meera suddenly came up and stood beside Ann'wn, then knelt and bowed her head, as had Ann'wn. The High Queen looked upon Meera, her Warrior Woden from Woden, and knew that she was now indeed in a spot she didn't wish for. She looked at her forces, finding her sister, thinking on what she had told her sister the prior eve. Then she looked over to her Elf.
Sle'nel'. I have always told her to follow her heart. Yet, I have never done as such until the moment with her.
She looked down again at Ann'wn, tears forming, her heart heavy. She was barely breathing, yet her hand held onto her sword with such intensity that her muscles began to rebel. She looked back up to her forces, seeing them staring in disbelief, their eyes fully upon her sword. To a one, they knew she was to behead Ann'wn.
Her training returned to her, her teachers forcing their teachings into her, their voices yelling at her: “Never! Never allow your heart to rule over your training. When your orders have been broken, you must punish. You must never become soft."
Never become soft.
Follow your heart.
If I behead her, I will not be seen as weak. Yet I will lose a great Force Leader.
She became angry with herself for even thinking she would behead Ann'wn. She became angry with Ann'wn for placing her into this position. Then she became angry at her forces for expecting her to be strong beyond reason. Her head was spinning in her thoughts, so into her own thoughts that she no longer focused upon the scene in front of her. She knew she was expected to behead Ann'wn. Knowing such, she raised her sword above her head, holding onto it with both hands, knowing what she was expected to do, and prepared through all her training to do so. All watched in disbelief, hoping that such wouldn't occur.
It is expected of Me. It is My duty.
She took a deep breath and exhaled, resigning herself to her duty, but at the very last instant, brought the sword down heavily, directly in front of Ann'wn's head, not touching her, yet just missing her by a breath. Ann'wn looked up at her, surprised. Her forces stood frozen in their place, also surprised. The Healer felt her heart halt, in shear fear of the moment. She had sensed that The High Queen was going to behead Ann'wn.
Unknowingly, The High Queen began pacing, talking aloud, enraged at Ann'wn. Enraged at her forces. But mostly, enraged at herself.
"How arrogant is it to behead a loyal and excellent force leader just to be seen as strong?"
She looked at her forces, not seeing them, “How DARE you think that My strength is only determined in this fashion."
She looked at Ann'wn, “Is death not the sweeter of the consequences?"
Yet pacing, she looked up to the sky, “Why must we always take this simple path of death?"
She looked down at Ann'wn and said to her, “Is facing My wrath and fury of such mortal fear that you go so willingly to your death? Is this not cowardice?"
She looked at her forces, yet not seeing them, “This is a coward's way, and how dare you think of Me as such a coward as this. If I were such a coward, do you not think that I would have long prior opted away from My own responsibilities?"
"And how dare you think that I have never prior made mistakes."
Without thinking, and without really knowing what she did, she grabbed Ann'wn by the shoulders of her shirt, pulling her up, ripping her from her kneeling position with great strength, staring at her face-to-face, “How dare you think that you and I are to take the easy way out, Ann'wn. How dare you think so little of Me. Stand before Me like a warrior and deal with Me. Deal with Me and My rage!"
She looked back to her forces, yet not realizing what she was doing, “How dare all of you to expect Me to be such an arrogant coward."
"NO! I WILL NOT TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT THIS TURN! I WILL NOT BEHEAD HER JUST SO THAT I AM SEEN AS STRONG!"
She screamed it to the sky, “I WILL NOT DO SO."
She looked at Ann'wn, raging beyond control, “I WILL NOT DO SO."
She looked at the sky, to the land of her prior teachers, and whispered, “I will not do so. I will not become so removed that their lives mean so little to Me. You were wrong to teach Me of this."
She cried as she spoke to the winds, “Against all My teachings, I will not do so."
She screamed it to her own mind, I will not do so.
She looked at her sword, then she looked at Ann'wn. None had ever prior seen her so enraged as this, or so passionate. No one knew what to do except listen, but all were fully amazed at her words and the depth of her rage. Sle'nel’ was concerned for her Queen, but was also gladdened over her decision. She knew the journey would be long for her Queen to return to The Realm, but knew The Realm would be better for it.
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ re-sheathed her sword, then removed the sheathed sword from her belt, and held it in her hands, “I have no ability to behead My most loyal warriors. Find yourself another Queen that can do as such. I am not of this sort of realm."
Yet holding her sword, she bowed her head for a moment, trying to regain her control.
Focus.
Breathe.
She reopened her eyes and looked upon her forces. She began to bend down so as to place her sword upon the ground. As she did so, An'ther'on walked up to her, knelt before her, and placed her own sword down in front of her, “High Queen."
Uthrn followed, doing the same. Then each of her warriors followed, one-by-one, each placing their weapons before her. She had stood up as An'ther'on had come up to her, but said nothing. She watched, surprised, as her warriors placed their weapons be
fore her, the pile growing larger. Unknowing to her, she held her sword to her side. Her face was without emotion, but inside, her mind was blurred from all reasoning.
Her Healer came, and bowed before her. As did her sister, then Caitha. Then Queen Erthrn came up, last among all the others, undid all her weapons and armor, and placed them at San'lr'in'thel'ineln's feet. She bowed deeply to her, kissing her feet.
She then stood and took San'lr'in'thel'ineln's sword from her. She held it straight out from her, presenting it back to The High Queen, “High Queen, you are The Realm. Without you, there is no justice. This very act we just witnessed was the reason you were selected as The High Queen, and not me. Because it is you who upholds the truths and integrity of the land, rather than its mere laws.
She moved the sword closer to San'lr'in'thel'ineln', “Take your sword, San'lr'in'thel'ineln', my friend. You have become The Realm.” She looked deeply into her eyes, pleading, “Take it, Highness. This sword can only belong to you. You are its rightful owner. Only you are High Queen."
Slowly, San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ held out her arm. All saw that it shook. She saw that she was afraid to take back her own sword. She hesitantly held her arm just prior to the sword. Slowly, she wrapped her hand around the hilt, feeling the smooth touch of the cold metal. She drew it slowly out of its sheath, then examined it, seeing her steel-cold reflection in the sword.
As she held it up, all those in the camp knelt and bowed their heads, “High Queen."
She looked upon them, dazed. She re-sheathed her sword, and placed it back upon her belt.
She looked back to her forces, “Rise."
She looked at Ann'wn, then picked up Ann'wn's armor and weapons. She presented them back to Ann'wn, “High Force Leader. I command you to take these back, and in so doing, serve Me well."
Ann'wn was also frozen, but moved slowly, reaching out her hands to take back her garments and weapons, as commanded of her. As she took them, The High Queen hit her in the jaw with full force. Ann'wn fell back onto the ground, solidly, feeling her chin, surprised.
Ann'wn looked up at her Queen and saw that she was rubbing her now-sore knuckles. After a moment, Erthrn began to laugh, as did An'ther'on. And suddenly, the entire camp erupted into laughter. Ann'wn was yet on the ground rubbing her sore chin, looking at her Queen.
The Realm's Mystics [Mystic Women of The Realm Series Book 3] Page 45