Sle'nel’ was surprised in her lover's intensity, but answered her truth, “So that you would return to The Realm.” After a moment, she said, “I assume, my Queen, that you were taught to never hesitate, yet you did."
"I knew you were there, My Love. I would never harm you."
"Who was at the other end of your sword when you pointed it to my heart?"
She hesitated, then supplied her own truth, “My teachers."
"They are in your mind, such as this?"
"They remind Me that I grow soft, as a High Queen."
"You listen overly to these voices. Your teachers were not High Queens, and knew nothing of what you must do."
"But they were excellent teachers."
"I suppose this be truth, but you forget that many of them were warriors."
"What difference does this make?"
"They taught you well so that you could stand strong, like a warrior, yet they had no understanding of what a High Queen must do in The Realm. Your teachers were overly hard, and taught you this well. But who taught you the other side of being High Queen? The side that must make decisions that rest in kindness and understanding?"
"What is wrong with being hard?"
"The Mungardies are only hard, are they not? They allow no softness. Be this correct?"
"Yes. This is so."
"One way, without moderation, is merely cruelty and domination. This is why you struggle so against your teachers. Even you felt their oppression, even if it was for the just cause. You must now find you own way as High Queen and bring the balance to your reign, as you did this morn with Ann'wn. This is your path, and this is why it must now be alone, without them."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ studied her Elf for many long moments, wondering about her statement, “Why did you not tell Me this prior? It would have made My decision much easier."
"You need not for me to tell you this. You already know of this."
"I do?"
"You do. Or you wouldn't have made the decision you made."
"When did you become the scholar?"
Sle'nel’ thought on that for a moment, then cast it aside, “When do we leave?"
"Are you anxious to do so?"
"You need rest."
"As do you."
"Agreed."
"Good. Then we leave on the third morn. Is this acceptable?"
"If you are recovered."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ looked surprised, “I am not as wounded as you."
"The weight you carry is enough to crush anyone in The Realm, except you. You will be recovered when some of that weight has been lifted from you."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ placed her hand on Sle'nel's cheek, “Having you near Me has helped, My Elf."
"Upon the third morn, then."
After their meal, they went to the lake to watch the moon dance upon its surface. Sle'nel’ sat near the water's edge while The High Queen rested in one of the chairs. Knowing that there was little she could do but be there for her when she was ready, Sle'nel’ watched over her lover.
The High Queen stood, looking upon the lake, “Look how smooth it is."
Sle'nel’ sat quietly by, knowing her Queen knew she had heard her. She didn't wish to disturb the silence of the moment for her.
The High Queen continued to stare at the lake's surface, “It is merely an appearance—a deception—no more than this."
Sle'nel’ looked upon the lake's surface, seeing its stillness.
"The voices inside Me rage louder upon each battle. And now I have had innocents killed. What have I become?"
At the moment of the order, Sle'nel’ had guessed that her lover's command to kill the innocents would haunt her. And now she saw that it did so, and deeply. She responded quietly, “A wise Queen once told me that it is not our place to wish for something else. All we must do with our life is to act on what we have been given. You commanded as such so as to prevent more killing."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ sighed, “So much death and killing. It was easy when I was a warrior. A warrior merely follows orders. I must give them, and although I no longer engage in most of the battles, I am the one responsible. When it comes to the end, the Sorrows of the Stones will call for Me as well."
Softly she said, “No, San'lr'in'. It is not so. They will not call such a heart as yours to them. This I know to be full truth."
The High Queen sat upon the ground near Sle'nel', yet gazing out to the lake. Sle'nel’ moved closer to her, touching her hand, then moved her arm around her. Waiting. She saw the burden's weight fall heavy on her, “What are your thoughts?"
The High Queen looked at her for a moment, then gazed back at the lake, sighing. Her voice spoke of an intensely heavy hopelessness.
"I can see no end to sorrow."
Sle'nel’ felt the truth of the statement. She spoke softly, “I know, San'lr'in'. Sadly, this I know to be as truth."
The High Queen cried her quiet tears through the eve. In the overly early morn, yet well prior to the sun's rise, she laid her head upon Sle'nel's shoulder. While only a small sign that she was re-entering The Realm, Sle'nel’ felt great relief from it, knowing that her Queen was trying to reconnect.
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ looked over to Sle'nel'. With tears in her eyes, she said, “I would give My life willingly, this moment, if I could make this Realm without war and hatred."
Sle'nel’ looked into her eyes, “San'lr'in', my Love. This is what you do. You give your life to end war and hatred."
The High Queen stood, thinking on what her Elf had told her, “But the sacrifice for peace may be more than I can bear."
She looked back out to the lake, across the smooth waters, “Many have placed their trust in My training and abilities, at great cost to The Realm. Am I worthy of such trust as this?
She lowered her head, “Who could stand such a burden as this? A burden that makes death look as a friend."
Sle'nel’ spoke softly, gazing out toward the far-distant forest, “It is only through darkness that we are able to see light."
She saw that her Queen looked at her, her eyebrow raised. She continued, “Good and evil are such as the darkness and the light. One without the other doesn't exist. They are as one, and in truth are friends in this regard. As in all things, a balance is needed. There can be no light without dark, as there is no comparison. There is no life without death. And the one makes the other all the better because of it."
The High Queen looked at her, surprised.
"There is no burden without play, as one makes the other all the more needed. Overly much of either becomes drudgery. The well-sung song is all the sweeter for its opposite. A hard-fought and won battle is all the better for the losses we must give.” She rose and touched her Queen's cheek softly, “And risked love is all the kinder from the losses we have endured."
The High Queen turned back to her lake, searching for answers.
Sle'nel’ sighed quietly, “I would rather have the emotional wins and losses than live with the detached sameness of guaranteed drudgery. It is the risk that provides the excitement and passion. One turn, we face the harsh desperation of loss, yet making another turn all the more gentle in its peacefulness."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ nodded, “The cold bitter rain of the frozen season makes the gentle rain of the warm seasons all the more appealing. And the burden of being High Queen makes a turn spent in love all the softer."
Sle'nel’ laughed, “Yes, San'lr'in'. But I wonder if, when we have achieved your so sought-after peace, we will wish for battle."
She looked bewildered over the statement, “Wish for battle? How could we do as such?"
"You are a warrior. You well know what warriors speak of when they sit around a fire in the eves with no battle to worry over."
The High Queen nodded, “They speak of their glory and great fights in prior battles."
"See? Even darkness is a perspective. For some, battles and losses are evil. For others, battles are exciting, filled with yet-to-be stories of
adventure and bravery."
She nodded again, “The anthill and the stars. But another High Queen may see what I consider to be a burden, no more than another decision."
"It is why it takes many to select a High Queen. Many judged your merits, San'lr'in'. Many considered your way of thinking, and decided they would prefer a High Queen who thought of battle as an evil to be avoided unless necessary. Yet, the Mungardies would prefer a Queen who would see battle as a glorification."
The High Queen looked at her sideways, “Remember just a prior turn or so when you looked upon the drawing of your Mother? You said she looked wise."
"And you said when I reach her cycles, I will also be wise."
"I was wrong."
"Oh?"
"You are already wise, for such a young Elf."
Sle'nel’ looked at her, smiling, “Face another turn with me and The Realm?"
"Yes, My Desire. I can face another turn, and another."
They stood side-by-side, listening to the soft winds blow across the waters.
Without moving, San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ asked her Elf, “San'lr'in'?"
"Yes, my Love. San'lr'in'. It is the name I have decided to try."
The High Queen smiled to herself. She brought her Elf gently toward her, embracing her, “How long has it been since we have been as one?"
Sle'nel’ looked at her, then kissed her with great need. She took her hand and led her Queen inside to the cottage, “You are lucky that I am left-handed."
San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ woke first at midturn and looked upon her lover. She reflected on how much Sle'nel’ had done for her in just the prior turn. She removed the covers gently from Sle'nel's body, looking upon her soft skin. She touched her breasts lightly, teasing them, wanting them, but mostly wanting to just give back to her lover.
Sle'nel’ moved to the feeling, not yet awake,
"Hmmm..."
After, as The High Queen lay holding her lover to her, Sle'nel’ saw that her Queen's leg was out from the covers, slightly bent. She admired it for a moment, loving well its length and line, thinking her to have the most enticing legs in all The Realm. She began to caress it.
Her eyes yet closed, The High Queen asked, “What is it about My legs that offers such allure for you, My Desire?"
Sle'nel’ moved slightly into her, feeling along the outside of her leg, moving up toward her hip. Saying nothing, she then moved onto her lover, beginning to caress the inside of her leg, moving slowly upward. As she felt her lover shiver from the touch, she said, “If you follow their line, it leads to paradise."
When they had finished their physical explorations and desires of each other, San'lr'in’ rose, “Come. We must eat. You are becoming overly thin, and I am well starved."
Sle'nel’ smiled, “You must be feeling improved, then."
San'lr'in’ dressed herself, “Yes. But The Healer will be here directly, I think, to tend to your wound.” She then helped Sle'nel’ to dress into her garments.
Sle'nel’ didn't wish to see anyone, “I thought we would be undisturbed."
"Have patience, My Desire. This was My request, only. I have much guilt regarding your wound."
They began to eat, but as predicted, The Healer came and interrupted their meal, “How is your wound, Elf?"
Sle'nel’ was becoming more impatient with the healing of all her wounds, but impatiently stuck out her hand, displaying some frustration.
The Healer looked at her Queen, “Your disposition rubs off on the Elf."
"She is just tired, My Healer. It is not personal. Overly many wounds, I think."
Sle'nel’ raised an eyebrow at The High Queen's statement, knowing it was rare that she offered a negotiation regarding anything.
The Healer prodded it gently, and looked upon its inflamed swelling, “It is yet overly swollen. It must be quite painful for you, but the infection is minimal, so far."
Sle'nel’ nodded, “It well reminds me that it is there, but is nothing I cannot endure."
The Healer looked at her, “But there is no need to play the martyr. We can remove most of this pain, and you can remove the rest. It is quite deep, my Elf, and will be sore for many turns to come. There is no sense in remaining familiar with this pain."
Sle'nel’ nodded.
The Healer and San'lr'in’ worked together to instill some healing and anti-swelling spells into Sle'nel', then they both helped her to displace the remainder of her pain. San'lr'in’ could see the improvement in Sle'nel's face muscles almost immediately.
San'lr'in’ was grateful, “Thank you, Healer. How fares Ann'wn?"
"Resistant. She wants to feel the pain as a reminder, she says. Why must all I attend be as stubborn as this?"
Sle'nel’ looked frustrated, “How stupid is this?"
"And she will not allow me to clean the wound further."
Sle'nel’ stood and looked at her Queen, “We can alleviate this issue. There is an entire lake out here, good for such cleansing. Come, my Queen. Let us help Ann'wn to take a cleansing bath."
She offered her hand to her Queen, and San'lr'in’ took it, wondering as to her meaning. All three of them went to the first island. Ann'wn saw them coming and knelt as The High Queen approached.
"High Queen."
San'lr'in’ well noticed that Ann'wn was yet using her more formal title rather than using her usual of ‘My Queen'. She ignored it, hoping the issue would tend to itself, “Rise, Ann'wn. The Healer tells me that you resist her tending."
Sle'nel’ looked at her Queen, and winked.
As Ann'wn was responding, The High Queen and the Elf kept moving her closer and closer to the lake's shore. When they were at the shore, Sle'nel’ asked her, “Why do you not soak your wounds, and cleanse them?"
Ann'wn looked at the water, then to her Queen and Elf, “But, my Queen, I—"
They picked her up and threw her into the water.
Sle'nel’ removed her boots, then jumped in after her. The Healer yelled after her, “My Elf. You shouldn't go into the water.” But she knew it was overly late to say it. So she sat, knowing she would have to tend to her wound once again, when she had completed her Elfish ways.
San'lr'in’ just laughed, looking upon the both of them. Sle'nel’ knew the water was overly cold for The High Queen's back, so said nothing about her coming in with them. Instead, as Ann'wn righted herself, Sle'nel’ just pushed her back under the water for a quick moment, making her Queen to laugh further. Ann'wn finally stood in the shallow water, soaked, hearing The High Queen laugh, and gladdened for it. She turned to her Elf, then splashed her.
For many moments, they played in the water, splashing and dunking each other, hoping to lighten their Queen's mind for a moment longer. When Sle'nel’ grew tired, she returned to her Queen. The High Queen didn't think Sle'nel’ would ever do as such, so was surprised when Sle'nel’ leaned strongly against her, embracing and kissing her, but making her soaked as well.
San'lr'in’ looked down at her now soaked gown, then to her Elf, “You are feeling improved, I see. Perhaps we removed overly much of your pain."
Sle'nel’ took her Queen's hand, laughing, “Come. Let us change you from your soaked gown.” She led her off, but said over her shoulder, “Come Healer. Come Ann'wn. We are hungry."
The Healer tended to Ann'wn's neck and ear as they waited for The High Queen and Sle'nel'. As she gently applied some potion to it, Ann'wn closed her eyes, relishing in the soft touch.
The Healer saw her close her eyes, “Does it hurt, Force Leader?” She didn't think it should, so was surprised.
Ann'wn shook her head lightly and looked at The Healer with a teasing look, “No, Healer. Your touch hurts not at all. I was just wondering if you would like to provide this touch on other parts of my body."
The Healer saw the glint in Ann'wn's eye, and while she ever hoped they could be together, she knew Ann'wn was no more than a typical warrior, ever wanting someone new in the bed. She pinched Ann'wn's injured ear a bit.
Ann'wn's leer changed immediately to that of surprise, “Ow! That hurts. Why did you so as such?"
The Healer smiled her mischievousness, “Oops. My apologies, Force Leader."
When they had all finished their meal, and The Healer had re-tended the Elf's wounds, they were once again left alone.
Sle'nel’ was yet exhausted from her wounds, the sword fight against her Queen, and the healing of all her wounds. The High Queen wanted just to lie in her lover's arms, also well tired from the recent events.
Ann'wn and The Healer left them, walking the path together, “The Elf is a brave one."
Wanting to be much closer to The Healer, Ann'wn attempted to keep the conversation moving forward, “You speak truly. Stronger than I had prior guessed. How do you fare these turns, Healer? You have much to do these turns, with all our injuries."
She looked at Ann'wn, wishing the statement had truly been out of concern over her. Knowing otherwise, she responded, “Humph. What? Are you going to quit becoming injured, Force Leader? I know your body better than you do."
Ann'wn laughed, knowing the statement to be truth, but wishing it was in a more personal fashion, “And I thank you in highest truth for your most adept healing. It is not without notice."
The Healer blushed, embarrassed, “You tease. But now I must leave. I am close to perfecting another potion for The High Queen's back pain. Until later, Force Leader. Be kind to your wounds."
Ann'wn was sorry to see her go, “Until later, Healer."
The High Queen and Sle'nel’ lay next to each other, slowly removing each other's garments. San'lr'in'thel'ineln’ looked upon her lover with tenderness, sadness, yet desire, “How did I live without you for all these prior cycles?"
Sle'nel’ shrugged, touching her lover's breast tenderly, “It makes me all the more welcome now, my Queen."
"I thought you were going to call me San'lr'in'."
Sle'nel’ looked at her with an impish grin, “There is something purely decadent in knowing that I am about to lay with The High Queen."
The High Queen nodded, touching and teasing Sle'nel's breasts, smiling wickedly at her, “I understand, as there is also with knowing I am about to lay with The Realm's only Elf."
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The Realm's Mystics [Mystic Women of The Realm Series Book 3] Page 47