“Sweetie, you’ve never mentioned liking a boy a day in your
life. I figured we’d be having this conversation sometime around
your freshman year in high school.”
• 154 •
Better Off red
“Oh.” That threw me big time, but she had a point. I’d talked
to my mom about everything. School, sports, my friends, Todd’s
ex-girlfriends. I’d never come to her about any boys or even hinted I
had my eye on anyone at school. No heartbreaks, not even a crush. I
wondered for a moment if that part of it bothered her, that we didn’t
have that kind of a relationship to share.
“You’re not mad?” I asked quietly.
“Why would I be mad?”
“I don’t know.” I adjusted my towel and dragged Thackery
across my lap. “I just thought…”
“Honey, I’m an ex-pothead who married a mobster’s son then
adopted a black kid. You think I’m going to judge my only daughter
for being gay?”
“I guess not.”
“It’s your crotch, Gingey. I’m just glad you’re not pregnant or
on any powder drugs or pills. Just be safe and get tested regularly
like I told you. I kissed my roommate in college. She was nice; it
just wasn’t for me.”
“Oh.” I laughed a tad hysterically. “Well, good.”
“Just be a good girl and your dad and I will be happy.”
“And just don’t get pregnant?”
“I’m too young to be a grandma. Are you going out with this
young lady tonight?” It was weird to hear someone talk about
Camila like she was any regular girl.
“Yeah. Nothing big, but I have to get ready.”
“What’s her name?”
“Uh, I’d rather not jinx it.” Mom made a little scoffing noise. I
could just see her rolling her eyes at me. “Let me see how this date
goes before I start talking her up. It could be nothing, but yes, it’s
girls for good.” It felt good to say. It felt great to say it to my mom
and to know she still loved me either way.
“Okay. Well, thank you for telling me. And I’ll be sure to tell
your dad.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I shook my head in disbelief as we said our
good-byes. I didn’t realize till the moment she picked up the phone
how terrified I had been of upsetting my parents for any reason. I
• 155 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
felt much better as I headed down the hall, a huge weight I’d been
oblivious to, lifted off my shoulders.
❖
The bathroom was empty so I took a long shower. Afterward,
I didn’t feel bad taking my sweet time blow-drying my hair since
my roommate was gone. I turned up my music louder, singing along
with Katy Perry at the top of my lungs while I lotioned up and put
on my makeup.
The music and the solitude revived me, but when I was done
getting ready, the end result in the mirror gave me a much needed
boost of confidence. Amy had found the perfect dress. The emerald
green silk showed off “just enough leg and not enough booby,” as
Amy liked to put it. The perfect mix to drive Camila crazy. I liked
it because it made me look older. So many of the dresses we found
made me look my age or younger with crazy cuts and patterns.
This one accentuated all the right parts. The neckline scooped
just low enough to show off my ruby necklace, which I had grown
completely accustomed to wearing twenty-four seven. The fabric
had a slight shimmer to it. It hugged my stomach and my chest,
and the skirt came just to my knees. I decided to wear my long red
waves pulled back in an artful bun. The whole package said classy
but willing. The ruby red platform pumps Amy had picked out for
me said willing and ready. Amy had grabbed some silver hoops and
bangles to match my necklace and a gray cropped motorcycle jacket
to complete the look and match Camila’s overall style. Amy insisted
I needed a little pattern to make the look complete. I didn’t argue and
shoved my phone and my wallet into my new leopard print clutch.
Camila was right on time, knocking on my door at exactly eight
o’clock. If I hadn’t been so determined to go on an actual date with
her, I would have yanked her inside, mounted her, and called it a
night. She looked too good. I blinked, my mouth actually flopping
open. The difference in our height had only been an inch or so. It was
a safe guess Amy had told her what she’d picked out for me because
Camila’s peep toe heels were just a little bit higher than mine.
• 156 •
Better Off red
A part of my brain noted that her toenails were red, but my
clit forced my eyes to skip up to her skintight vinyl leggings. The
loose black shirt she had on covered her perfect ass, but hung off
her shoulder, giving me a peek of the black satin bra she had on
underneath. My favorite red lipstick was back and there were black
spiked studs in her ears. I forgot all about any sort of readiness or
willingness; her outfit demanded that I fuck her right then and there.
I got as far as, “Uh, hey.”
“You look good, Red,” she said a little too sweetly, knowing
just how amazing she looked.
I swallowed anxiously. “Thank you. Where did you get those
pants?” I said.
She just smiled wide, flashing her fangs.
❖
I’d been to downtown Baltimore once, and even then, my
dad and I had only driven down a few streets on our way to the
university. I hadn’t gotten a good look at the skyscrapers and local
vendors or the harbor, and the city lights were the last thing on my
mind now. I was focused on the woman next to me and our hands
intertwined on her vinyl covered thigh. The side of my hand was on
fire resting against her leg.
“So where are you taking me?” I asked.
“A Japanese place on Pratt.”
“Do you own this place?” I asked, absolutely loving the love
sexy grin I got back.
“Yes, I do. I own mostly restaurants and hotels here and there.
And the spa you ladies visited. I’d take you by the tattoo shop, but
I’d like to get on with the dinner portion of the evening if that’s okay
with you.”
“Yes. It’s more than okay,” I said. “I’m just waiting for Cleo
and Amy to pop up in the backseat.” Which wouldn’t have been a
surprise. It was no one’s fault, except maybe Camila’s meth-addicted
ex-employee, but we hadn’t had much vertical, fully clothed time
alone. I wanted tonight to be about Camila and me. And only us.
• 157 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
“There will be none of that. I just want to be with you.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” I replied.
She lifted our hands and brushed the back of my palm against
her cheek, a sweet, adoring gesture that had me cursing the console
between us. I sighed and settled back into the seat, finally watching
the storefronts that passed by.
We arrived at Hama, Camila’s Japanese restaurant and sushi bar,
a few minutes l
ater and left the car at the valet stand. The restaurant
was packed. The deep wood accents on the walls and ceiling soaked
in the golden light, giving the open space the best sense of intimacy.
I followed Camila past the hostess who greeted us with a simple
nod. I wondered if she knew exactly who or what Camila was. It felt
silly to ask, but I still got the impression she knew Camila was free
to navigate the space on her own.
She led us right to the sushi chef. After talking to him for a
few moments—in Japanese—she turned to me with a wink and led
me to a huge private booth toward the back. I let her take my coat,
shrugging out of the gray faux leather, and settled comfortably next
to her on the padded bench.
“And you speak Japanese?”
She leaned forward and kissed me. “I’m not sure there’s a
language I don’t speak, Red. I ordered a few things for you to try. I
hope that’s okay.” My mom had always told me that someone who
orders for you without your permission is an arrogant prick and not
saying so is an invitation for them to control your life. When it came
to Camila, I was willing to let it slide.
“It’s fine. My Japanese is a little rusty.”
“I’ll help you brush up,” she said, scrunching her nose. Just
then a female server brought us two glasses of water. Camila thanked
her sweetly—in Japanese—before leaning back and gazing over my
face. “So tell me more about you, Red.”
“Oh? The way Benny talks, you guys already know everything
about us.”
“We know what’s on the books, so to speak, and I know the
adorable things I love about you, but I want to know more. Tell me
about your family.”
• 158 •
Better Off red
Now that was easy. I pulled out my phone and started scrolling
through my pictures. I pulled up a recent favorite, my mom and me
posing on either side of my dad and Todd, both in pizza comas on
the couch.
“Oh, your brother is cute.”
“Hey!”
“I’m just saying.” She chuckled. “When was this taken?”
“Right before I came to school. My dad left for Brazil a few
days after he dropped me here, but I’m guessing you knew that.”
“I did, but tell me about him. And your mom.”
“I don’t know. They’re just…amazing.” My focus instantly
dropped to my lap. I started choking up. It happened every time I
thought about my family, every time I considered what they meant
to me. Camila’s arm went around my shoulders and she pulled
me closer. I took the comfort, leaning into her warm body. My
arm brushed her nipple through the layers of her clothes, and my
clit throbbed. But that only made me feel more secure, knowing I
wanted her in every way and that now she was there for me in all the
ways I needed her to be.
“I’m sorry.” I took a deep breath and gave it another try. “I was
in this group home in South Boston. It wasn’t bad it was just…”
“A group home?”
I swallowed, trying to pull it together. “Exactly. After my birth
mom, I didn’t talk for over three months. I played with the toys they
gave us and paid attention in school and stuff, but I just wouldn’t
talk. I remember them trying every day to get me to say something.
“My mom—Todd calls her Linda, still,” I said through my
sniffling. “She came in to volunteer and she brought Todd with her.
He’s just so—he brings people out. It’s impossible not to like him.
He walked right up to me and goes ‘Linda, let’s keep this one.’”
“You’re joking?”
“No. I’m dead serious. She looked at me for a minute and
then turned back to Mrs. Farnham, the lady who ran the place. I
was coloring and Todd just sat and picked up a crayon and started
coloring with me.” It took Todd a few moments to realize I wasn’t
going to talk to him, but he didn’t care. He just talked and talked,
• 159 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
going on about nothing important. None of the kids were mean to
me; it’s not that much fun to pick on someone who doesn’t bother
to fight back, but Todd was the first person who made me feel liked.
“Two weeks later, Linda came back with her husband Fredo and
Todd. Mrs. Farnham told me the Carmichaels wanted to adopt me,
no trial foster home, but full, immediate adoption, as immediate as
those sort of things are. I wish you could have seen Mrs. Farnham’s
face when I said I was okay with it. Lawyers conferred, paper work
was finalized, and a few months later, I was a Carmichael. I found
out later Dad had called in some serious favors to get me out of there
as quickly as possible.”
“I have to thank Todd though. He’s my best friend.” I shrugged.
“I was safe in the group home, but Todd saved my life, I think.” I
took another deep breath, relief and joy rising to a smile on my face
at the thought of the wonderful family I still had.
“And he’s taking a year off?” Camila asked. I scowled at her,
knowing her vampire spies had given her that information.
“Yeah. He volunteers at a youth center near his first foster
home. He’s going to start med school next fall. Following in Dad’s
footsteps. Unlike me, who just wants to cozy up to football players.”
“Well, something tells me your parents are proud of you either
way.”“You’d love my parents. My mom is so silly. She’s so much
fun, and my dad, he’s just a good person.”
“I think it takes a genuinely good person to do the work he
does.”“It does.”
“I’d love to meet them,” Camila said.
“You would? But I thought—”
“If your next statement has anything to do with anything Benny
or Cleo said, I’m going to kill them,” she said.
“Well, Natasha and Rodrick too. I just figured…”
“If you want me to, I can meet them. It’ll have to be at night, of
course, and they can’t exactly know what I am, but I can still meet
them.”
“What about your fancy teeth?”
• 160 •
Better Off red
Camila opened her mouth. I blinked three or four times. The
sharp tips of her fangs were there one second and gone the next.
“How’d you do that?”
Camila shrugged. When she opened her mouth to speak, the
sharp tips were back. “It takes a little effort, but it’s not impossible.”
“I’d love for you to meet them.” To express my gratitude, I
kissed her softly on the lips, giving myself a hint of her delicious
taste.I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until the sushi hit the table.
Camila watched me demolish almost an entire spider roll before I
realized she wasn’t eating. I grinned at her, my mouth full of crab,
avocado, and rice.
“You are so adorable, Red.” She picked up the last piece and
put it between her perfect lips.
I swallowed and took a sip of my water. “Sorry. Those pancakes
wore off some time around two.”
“Don’t
apologize. Eat all you want and then tell me more.”
The years between my adoption and the moment I met Amy,
had been pretty boring. Camila still wanted to know everything
about me. I bragged shamelessly about my straight A’s in math,
which she seemed to appreciate. I told her about my four year run
on an undefeated field hockey team, the many things I’d learned
about the perks of paper over plastic, how much I loved Starbursts.
We got on the subject of friends and relationships. I explained
to her that school took priority over boys and how I started to realize
boys might not have been on my mind at all. My prom date had
been a last minute thing with a friend who’d just gotten dumped. I’d
planned on going stag. Then I accidentally told her about how my
summer ended with my first kiss.
“About that,” she said playfully. “You hinted you were a virgin
when we met.”
“Stop. I know what you’re getting at.” I knew this would come
up. I was virgin, technically, in the sense that I’d never been with
anyone else, but I knew she would question how easily she’d been
able to slip sometimes three fingers inside me without a single
protest.
• 161 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
“My mom tried to supplement the crap sex ed I was getting at
school with extra info sessions at home. I got a little curious when
she got to the section on masturbation.” I squeezed my eyes closed,
thinking about how stupid I’d been. “I accidentally de-virginized
myself with a cucumber.”
“Oh, Red!” Camila’s shock was appropriate for how painful
it had been. I went on, telling her how Mom had discreetly left a
smaller, more hygienic vibrator on my dresser after she’d found the
abused cucumber in the bathroom trash.
“It wasn’t one of my finer moments,” I said. “But still, before
you, I’d only kissed one other person, even though I’d spent many
hours with myself.”
“And was she any good? At the kissing I mean,” Camila asked.
I pushed aside images of the day I maimed myself and thought about
that muggy August afternoon, standing between our houses. Kristen
and I had been talking, swapping bits and pieces of info about our
soon-to-be roommates, when suddenly she just kissed me. At the
time, it was amazing, hot and wet, with a lot of tongue. I’d wanted
her to take the kiss further, which she would have if Todd’s nosy ass
Better Off Red Page 19