by Karen Booth
His voice dripped with doubt, saddling Sarah with the fear that he’d turn down their final option. If he did, he could deal with the repercussions. Oliver was his responsibility, not hers, and she wasn’t going to stay because Aiden refused to make a decision.
“Her name is Lily. Her credentials are exceptional. I think she could be the one.”
“I read her résumé, Sarah. You don’t have to keep selling me on these people.”
Sarah choked back a frustrated grumble. If he were going to sabotage this, he’d better be prepared for a lecture when Lily left.
The elevator doors slid open and Lily roved into the foyer. Her wavy auburn hair was past her shoulders, barely tamed. She wore a swishy orange skirt that grazed the floor and a white tank top—not the professional interview attire Sarah expected. Maybe Aiden wouldn’t have to ruin this. Maybe Lily would. “Langford residence?”
“It is. I’m Aiden.” He stepped forward to shake her hand. “This is Sarah. She’s been filling in as nanny until we find a permanent replacement.”
His choice of words stung, especially after what had happened last night. It was confirmation of the way he saw her—as a temporary fixture. “Hi,” Sarah said. “This is Oliver.”
Lily’s eyes grew impossibly large and she tilted her head as she went to him, taking his tiny hand. “Hello, Oliver. Aren’t you the cutest thing ever?” Her voice was pure fairy-tale princess—full of magic.
Oliver was immediately taken, going to her.
“If it’s okay with you,” Lily said, “I’d like to play with him while we chat. I’m not big on formality.”
Sarah never would’ve deigned to dictate the course of an interview when she was nannying, but she couldn’t argue with Oliver’s reaction to Lily. He was infatuated, babbling away and tangling his fingers in her hair. Aiden gestured for them to go into the library, where many of Oliver’s toys were spread out on the floor.
Lily plopped down on the rug and jumped in with playtime. “I assume you’ve seen my résumé.”
Aiden sat while Sarah stood, observing. “It’s impressive,” he answered. “You’ve worked for some very high-profile families.”
“I’ve been lucky to have had the chance. And every child I’ve ever cared for has been wonderful. It worked well with those families because they appreciated my approach to nannying.”
“And how would you describe that?” Aiden asked.
“Well, of course I’m firm with the children. They need some boundaries. But otherwise, I believe in letting them take the lead. If we go to a museum, we do what the child wants to do. If we do an art project, we make a mess if that suits the child’s disposition. If we go to the park and he wants to dig in the dirt rather than play on the swings, we do that. We’ll sing songs at the top of our lungs and splash water in the bathtub. Kids need freedom and space.”
Sarah was taken aback. She’d never managed to deliver a spiel on her former vocation so eloquently. If it was rehearsed, it didn’t come off that way. Then there was her choice of words—freedom and space. Aiden would have to reach to turn down Lily.
He sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “What else can you tell me?”
Lily launched into more of her philosophy of child-rearing, walking him through her typical weekly schedule for a toddler. She talked of long walks and afternoons in the park, of play dates and visits to the library.
Sarah had to step away as visions of Lily’s plans appeared in her head. Oliver would have a wonderful, idyllic life and he’d be well cared for. It was everything she’d come looking for. If Aiden hired Lily, it would mean that Sarah had succeeded—she’d honored Gail’s wishes and found Oliver his forever home. So why did she feel so empty? Why did it have to feel as if she were looking out the rear window of a car as it sped away?
“Sarah, can I speak to you for a moment?” Aiden’s voice worked its way into her psyche, her weakness for him harder to ignore with his presence.
She sucked in a deep breath and shoved aside her feelings. “Yes, of course. What’s up?”
“Am I crazy or did I just find a nanny? Lily is perfect.”
She smiled and nodded, fighting her irrational tears. “I agree. She’s fantastic. You and Oliver will be very happy with her. I think you should offer her the job.” It was best to keep pushing him away, or else her heart would be a pile of rubble by the end of the weekend.
“Okay, then. It’s decided.” Not wasting a second, he strode into the library while Sarah followed. “Lily, I’d like to offer you the job. Can you start first thing Monday morning?”
Lily smiled awkwardly. “Oh. The agency should’ve told you I have another offer on the table right now. A family that’s moving to France. I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to take it or not. I promised them I’d decide before the end of the weekend.”
“Whatever they’re paying you, I’ll double it,” Aiden said.
Aiden was clearly committed to moving forward. Sarah reminded herself this was supposed to make her happy.
Lily got up from the floor. “I appreciate that, but it’s not the money. Honestly, it’s the chance to travel.”
“I love to travel. I’d love to take Oliver on adventures all over the world and you can come with us.”
Sarah could imagine the three of them globetrotting together. Talk about feeling left out...
Lily cast her sights down at the baby. “He’s so sweet and you make a compelling case. If it’s okay with you, I’d still like to have the weekend to think about it. I know you need someone on Monday, but the other family wouldn’t need me to start for another month, so I could at least take over from...” Lily glanced at Sarah and pressed her hand to her chest. “I’m so sorry. I’ve completely forgotten your name.”
Sarah blanched. I’m so out of the picture I’m a ghost. “Oh, no worries. It’s Sarah.”
“I could take over from Sarah until you find a permanent replacement.”
“I guess I can’t ask for much more than that,” Aiden said. “But please, think about the things I said. I’m sure you and Oliver are a great match.”
Lily bid her farewells, which included several sloppy kisses from Oliver. Even the baby was practically ready to send Sarah on her way.
Aiden let out an exaggerated exhale as the elevator doors closed. “I’m so relieved that’s worked out, at least for the next month. I didn’t want you to think I was trying to hold you hostage. I just needed someone I felt good about.”
Sarah nodded. “I’m relieved, too.” And feel so much worse.
“Now you can go to Boston on Sunday.” He strolled into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. “Actually, you could go home earlier if you wanted to. The paternity results are in tomorrow and they’re sending over the legal team to take care of the paperwork. You could go home Saturday. I mean, if you’re eager to go.”
Seriously? Sarah felt as though her heart should just throw up its hands and stomp out of the room. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since they’d slept together and he was shooing her out the door? Her instincts that morning had been 100 percent correct. She needed to get out, not get wrapped up in the guy who hated the idea of being tied down. “Okay. I’ll leave as soon as it makes sense. Speaking of which, I have that conference call with Katie in a few minutes. I’ll take it in my room.” Tears threatened again, but she had to keep it together. She turned to the stairs, but Aiden stopped her with a hand on her forearm.
“Sarah, wait.”
She froze, the warmth of Aiden’s fingers searing her skin. What? Did you change your mind? Do you actually want me to stay through Sunday?
“Use my office for your call.”
* * *
Aiden wasn’t sure what had gotten into him when he’d told Sarah she should leave before Sunday if she wanted to. It had see
med like the generous thing to do, but now he was kicking himself, even though he had to let her go sometime. Her actions suggested she hadn’t wanted more than one night with him, and from the very beginning, she’d been laser-focused on the deadline. She’d delivered everything she’d promised. He’d done the same. Once the paperwork was done, their relationship could come to its logical conclusion. Except that Aiden had that uneasy feeling in the center of his chest again, the one that said something was wrong. He couldn’t shake it, no matter how hard he tried.
Aiden played with Oliver in the library, unable to ignore how badly Sarah’s call was going. She hadn’t closed the doors to his office, so he couldn’t avoid hearing her say things like, “I don’t know. I’ll have to get that together for you.” Sylvia Hodge and her cohorts would likely only sink money into someone who was flawlessly prepared. He had to force himself to not walk in and offer his help. He’d done his part. He’d put her in the room with Sylvia Hodge. It was up to Sarah to make this happen.
Aiden’s worst suspicions were confirmed when Sarah drifted out of the office. All traces of the excitement she’d had yesterday were gone.
“Well?” he asked.
“I feel like I just got hit by a train.” Her voice was weary, as if she couldn’t take another step.
“Those calls can be like that. It’s not always a bad thing.” He didn’t want to give her false hope, but he couldn’t stand to see her like this. Her upbeat air was gone and he missed it.
She pursed her lips and shook her head. “No. This was bad. There were so many questions I couldn’t answer.”
“I thought your financials were in order.”
“They are, but they asked me things like what percentage of the market I can corner and how quickly I can do it. I can’t answer that. That’s what I need them for.”
Aiden’s stomach sank. Should he have prepared her more? Had he dropped the ball? “It’s okay to not know the answer to everything.”
“Judging by what Katie said, it’s not. She said they don’t work with companies that aren’t as up-to-speed on the business end as they are on the design end. That’s me, Aiden. I know the design end. I stumble through the rest of it.”
“But you’ve accomplished a lot. They’ll see that. And there’s the value of your concept and product. I’m sure that it’s Katie’s job to be a bulldog, so Sylvia can step in and be your savior.”
“I don’t know why I tried to do any of this. Sylvia probably only agreed to have her people talk to me because I had her cornered and she didn’t want to make a scene.”
“Don’t be so defeatist. You haven’t had a definitive answer yet. And if this doesn’t work out, you’ll move on to the next thing. I’ve done it many times.”
Sarah’s jaw tensed in a way Aiden had never seen, not even that first day in his office when she’d been so frustrated. “There is no next thing, Aiden. I’m not you. I don’t have a million amazing possibilities to juggle at one time. This is it for me. My career, my life, my paycheck. There’s nothing else for me but this. This is the one thing I’m good at.”
“Besides nannying.”
“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that I’m done with that. Forever.”
Yes, Sarah had said these things to him before, but he still didn’t understand it. “Did something bad happen? Is that why you’re so adamant about not going back to nannying?”
“Yes, something bad happened. Why else does a person decide they can’t do something anymore?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t talk about it with anyone, especially not someone I’ve known for a week.”
Her dismissiveness felt like someone choking his heart. A week. In some ways it felt as if he’d known Sarah his whole life. “I’m just trying to help.”
“I can’t tell you. I’m too ashamed.”
Now he had to find out what had happened. Sarah, ashamed? He couldn’t imagine her doing a single dishonorable thing. “I’m not going to judge you. But I’d like to know what’s going on. I think I’ve earned an explanation.”
She stared at the ceiling, blinking back tears. “I got fired from my last job. I’ve never been let go in my entire life, and this family meant the world to me. It destroyed me. I took one more nannying job after that, but I only lasted a day. I had to do something else. I couldn’t go back.”
“So you were really attached to the children?”
“Child. Singular. A little girl named Chloe. She was a few months older than Oliver.” She cast her sights down at the baby and pressed her lips together solidly. “I can’t talk about this, Aiden. I really can’t.”
He pulled her into his arms, breathing in her sweet scent, overcome with the memory of how good this had felt last night. They fit together well. “It’s okay to tell me. Maybe you’ll feel better if you get it out. That’s what you told me the night we sat up on the terrace and I was still upset about my mom.”
She settled her head against his chest, trembling. “I became romantically involved with my boss. I fell in love with him.”
“Go on.” He choked back his discomfort at the thought of her with another man.
“I knew it was wrong, but I was so drawn to him and I adored his daughter and it just happened. His wife had passed away before I was hired and he seemed to need me and care about me, but I read the whole thing wrong.”
He caressed her arm, closing his eyes and drawing in a deep breath. Her anguish poured into him. He longed to take it away. He also needed to know more. What kind of monster was this man who’d captured her heart and thrown it away? “What happened?”
Sarah looked up at him, but he didn’t let go. He wanted her to know that he was there for her. “I told him the truth. I told him that I loved him. He actually laughed at me. He thought I was kidding. He thought we were having a fling. He’d assumed that I’d done it before, but I hadn’t. And when I told him that it wasn’t a joke, he fired me. He didn’t want me around his daughter. He said he couldn’t trust me anymore. Do you have any idea how awful that felt?”
“He couldn’t trust you because you loved him?”
“Yes.”
“That’s horrible.”
“It’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Unrequited love is one thing, but it’s quite another to have your bond with a child stripped away. I’ve always cared deeply for the children in my charge. I never knew another way. Leaving was always the hardest part, but at least it’d always been on good terms. This was just solid rejection. I was hollowed out. That’s why I don’t nanny anymore.”
Oliver crawled over to them and pulled himself to standing with the help of Aiden’s pant leg.
Sarah picked him up, tears streaming down her face. She smoothed his hair back and kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry. I know this is way more than you ever wanted to know about me. But now at least you know why Kama means so much. I can’t go back to my old life.”
Aiden had started over many times. He knew the appeal of a new beginning. “I understand. Completely.”
She sighed and managed a smile before she handed over Oliver. “Thank you. I appreciate that. Now I need to go upstairs and regroup and try to figure out how I salvage this Sylvia Hodge thing. Are you okay to do bedtime on your own?”
“Yes, of course. I’m sure you want some alone time anyway.” He really hoped the answer was that she didn’t want to be by herself, that she wanted to stay up and talk after Oliver went to bed.
“I do. I need some time to think. Plus, a few more nights and you won’t have me around to help. You might as well start acting like I’m not even here.”
Fourteen
Sarah was working feverishly on an email to Katie and Sylvia Hodge Friday morning, when Aiden strolled into his home office, phone in hand. He grinned like a man witho
ut a single worry.
“Probability of paternity is 99.9 percent. Oliver is mine.”
Sarah jumped out of the chair and raced from behind the desk, throwing her arms around him. “I knew it. I just knew it.”
Unfortunately, the instant she was pressed against him, her body wanted to stay, especially when he returned the embrace with a firm squeeze, rocking her back and forth. With the clock ticking, should she take these happy moments? Even when they’d haunt her later?
“I knew in my heart that he was my son, but I don’t think I realized how much it would mean to have the confirmation. Considering my own history, this gives me peace. Oliver and I are a family. No one can take that away from us.” Aiden released her from their hug. It was impossible to ignore how enticing he was when he was so relaxed. Good news suited him well. “The lawyers will be by in an hour to do the final paperwork. They’ll have it before the judge this afternoon. Then we’ll be done.”
Done. She was so close to being done, it wasn’t even funny. She’d worried about awkward conversations after sleeping together, but Aiden hadn’t said a thing. She respected a man who followed her lead, but part of her really wished he’d fought her on it beyond his minor protestation in Miami. His ready acceptance was another reminder that in the end, she was just another woman. Nothing more. “All sewn up. No more loose ends.” It’s for the best. And you know it.
He cleared his throat and walked over to the bookcase, straightening a book. “Have you thought at all about when you’ll want to go?”
If only he knew how much that question hurt. “I’d like a little more time with Oliver.” And you, if I’m being honest.
“I’m asking because I was thinking about having my family over tonight. For a celebration. Officially welcome Oliver into the Langford family. I definitely want you here for that.”
Sarah could breathe a little easier. Maybe she was at least a notch above the other women he’d been with. “I’d love to be there. I think it’s great you’re involving your family. It’s important to mend fences with your mom.”