by Karen Booth
His fingers teased, touching lightly, drawing gasps from her lungs as he took full control. She settled her forehead on his shoulder as he masterfully brought her closer to climax with firm circles and a steady pace. The pleasure rose inside her, cresting. The tension would build, then ebb, then surge back until she was again at the very edge. When it finally became too much and she gave way, she smashed her mouth into his shoulder to quiet her cries of ecstasy.
But now she only needed him more. She climbed off him and watched as a sexy grin crossed his face when she unbuckled his belt and unzipped the zipper. Not having the fortitude to tease him, she slipped his pants and boxers down at the same time. He was so primed it nearly stopped her dead in her tracks. She appreciated the dark, lusty expression on his face as she wrapped her fingers around him and stroked firmly. He watched for only a moment before his eyes drifted closed and his shoulders let go of all tension. She leaned in and pressed her lips against his, loving the way the depth of his kiss told her how much he appreciated each pass of her hands. His skin was so warm and smooth, but the pressure beneath the surface was intense. Pleasing him like this was so gratifying, but she needed him fully. She needed him to make love to her. She wanted them joined that way again.
“Aiden, make love to me.”
He rolled to his side and ran his fingers through her hair, covering her face with kisses. “I want to. Now.” He sat up and opened a drawer in the bedside table, handing her the condom packet. She tore it open as he stretched out again. He drew in a sharp breath when she rolled it onto his waiting erection. Then he watched as she slipped off her panties and kicked them to the floor when they were to her ankles.
He positioned himself between her legs when she lay back on the bed. “This is virtually the only thing I’ve thought about since we got back from Miami.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
He guided himself inside as she pulled his hips down and he sank into her, her body molding perfectly around him. He lowered his head and they settled into a long and tangled kiss. They moved together in their perfect rhythm, rocking back and forth as the kisses became more frantic, less refined. His breaths were ragged and shallow and it was clear he was close to climax. He reached down between them and placed his thumb against her center until she came and he quickly followed.
He collapsed next to her, catching his breath.
She was floating back down to earth, her mind a whirl of wonderful things. “That was incredible.” But I want more.
He smiled, his eyes half-open. “I hope you aren’t too tired. I want to make the most of our time together.”
Make the most of it. Her thoughts, exactly.
* * *
In the new light of morning, Sarah again watched Aiden sleep. She lay on her side, one arm tucked under her pillow, studying his face, notably calm after last night. Aiden had let his guard down. He’d let her in and it had all been his idea. She hadn’t had to push for a thing. She felt like a new person, emerging from her dark cocoon in the nick of time. One more day and she’d have been gone. Now, leaving was unimaginable. She’d be crumpling her own heart into a tiny ball. Certainly Aiden wouldn’t let her. Their connection was too strong.
The events of the last week had turned everything upside down, but that meant she was out from under the menacing cloud, the one that had followed her for more than a year. Even more remarkable, the saddest thing she could imagine, Oliver losing his mother and Sarah losing her friend, had brought happiness. She could see a life with Aiden. She could imagine becoming Oliver’s mom if that was where she and Aiden chose to take things. They could be a family.
There were still obstacles to overcome and the most pressing was no small thing—saying those three little words. But after last night with Aiden, riding out the aftereffects of a secret he’d feared his entire life, they’d cemented their bond. So as frightening as it was, she would take the leap of telling him her true feelings. When she’d sworn to never say it first again, she’d had no way of knowing that a man as extraordinary as Aiden would come into her life. He was different. They had a foundation. Synergy. There would be no sad ending after I love you.
Aiden shifted in the bed, scrunching up his face and groaning quietly. He snaked his arm around Sarah’s waist and pulled her against him. “You’re so far away.”
She smiled as her eyes drifted shut and she inhaled his heady smell. “I’m right here.”
He smoothed his hand over her bare bottom, gently squeezing. “So you are. My mistake.” He nuzzled his way into her neck and she granted him access, even though it usually brought a fit of squealing. He peppered her skin with kisses that started soft and tentative but were now deeper and longer as their bodies pressed together.
“I usually don’t like it if someone kisses my neck. After last night, you can kiss me wherever you want.”
“It wasn’t just last night. Earlier this morning was noteworthy, too.”
She laughed quietly, but arched her back and hitched her leg up over his hip. Just thinking about it made her want him again. “It was wonderful.”
He clasped her face and planted a kiss on her lips. “Thank you for everything last night.”
“It’s a little weird to say thank you for sex.”
He shook his head and nudged at her nose with his own—such a sweet and tender gesture, it left her breathless. “No. I mean everything before we ended up in bed. You’re just...”
She didn’t want to be holding her breath, but she couldn’t help it. Was he about to confess his feelings? Would he take her worry away and impart those three little words first?
He scanned her face, his eyes searching for something. “You’re a miracle. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you and Oliver walk into my life, but I’m thankful. You’ve been there for me and I’m so appreciative.”
She smiled wide, even though he hadn’t relieved her of her greatest fear. “I like being there for you.”
“I mean it, Sarah. I don’t even want to think about the dark places my mind could have gone last night after everything with my mom. I’ve wasted so much time dreading that moment, worrying about what the truth would mean, but your presence made it all okay. You’re like a magician.”
A magician. A miracle. Both wonderful things to be called, but not quite what she was hoping for. It was hard to blame him. He’d been through so much with his family. It was no wonder that he was closed off, that he’d shored up his defenses so solidly that no woman had managed to make her way inside. She had to appreciate that he’d come so far since she’d met him. Maybe he needed a nudge. Maybe he needed to know that she wouldn’t hurt him, that she would give her heart to him just as freely as she’d given her body.
Just do it. Just say it and let it come out. Open your heart. “I love you, Aiden.” A warm wave hit her—contentment, satisfaction, accomplishment all rolled into one. This time she’d finally gotten it. She smiled and gazed into his eyes, but it became clear—within a few heartbeats—that something was wrong. His eyes weren’t indifferent or angry...they were hurt. It wasn’t at all what she’d expected. Of the many things she could’ve seen, that was not on the list of possible reactions to I love you.
Sixteen
I love you? No. This isn’t happening.
Aiden had never before wanted so badly to be able to rattle off a string of words, but he couldn’t. I love you was forever, and he wasn’t ready for that. He was ready to ask if he could see her after their ten days were up, but the words she’d just said had ruined that possibility. There was only one good response, and he couldn’t go there. “I don’t take love lightly.” In truth, he didn’t take—or give—romantic love at all. He’d never told a woman he loved her. He’d never felt it. His relationship with Sarah was different, but they’d been caught in extraordinary circumstances and his feelings for Ol
iver were intertwined with his perception of her. Could it be love? His gut wasn’t answering.
“I don’t take it lightly either,” Sarah pleaded. “But I love you. I know we haven’t known each other for long, but this is what’s in my heart. I had to say it.”
Frustration nipped at him like an angry dog. Why was she pushing this? Why did she have to take such a huge leap? He was racing to keep up, out of control, with no idea where or how this would end. “I have feelings for you, Sarah. And they’re good feelings. I’m just not ready to go there yet. It’s too soon.” Did people fall in love in ten days? If they did, what happened to those people? Were they still in love a year later? What if everything between them faded and fizzled?
“It’s not too soon for me. Some people fall in love in a minute. There is no timetable.”
“But there is for us. You just spent the last ten days reminding me of a deadline. I don’t like the idea of being forced into something.” He hated his biting tone, but he saw her as his safe place, and she’d turned that inside out. She was sabotaging what was between them, just as she had in Miami. This time, she wasn’t making a unilateral decision. She’d pulled him into this one and forced him to participate. Did she not see that he’d already taken big steps with her? He’d never spent more than three days with a woman.
“Forced? You made the first move last night.” She sat up in bed and yanked the covers over her. “And you knew I was leaving tomorrow, but you took me to bed anyway, knowing that you didn’t have an inkling of serious feelings for me?”
“Of course I knew you were leaving. You’ve spent every waking minute of our time together reminding me of it.”
“And that made it easy to sleep with me. No pesky Sarah to worry about after tomorrow.”
“That’s not fair. I wanted you. I still want you.” At least he could say that much without reservation.
Oliver yelped over the baby monitor. Aiden tossed back the comforter and pulled on his boxer shorts. “I’ll get him. We’ll have to finish talking about this later. I don’t want to argue in front of the baby.”
Sarah rolled away from him. “Honestly? I don’t want to talk about it at all.”
“Why not?”
“Because there’s no coming back from what I just said to you.”
She wasn’t wrong about that.
Aiden stalked down the hall, his mind reeling. He’d been thinking he might invite Sarah to spend next weekend with them, and see how that went. He certainly hadn’t been thinking about labels. Love hadn’t crossed his mind. It wasn’t even on the map.
He opened the door to Oliver’s room. The little guy was standing, holding on to the top rail of his crib, unsteady on the mattress. He bounced up and down when he saw Aiden, squealing and grinning. He picked up Oliver and kissed him on the forehead, holding him close. Two labels he didn’t have to question were that of father and son. What they shared was love. But he wasn’t able to put a label on what he felt for Sarah. And if he told her what she wanted to hear, just to make her happy for now, and it later ended up hurting her, he’d never forgive himself. He might not be able to say I love you, too, but that was better than taking it back later.
He changed Oliver and brought him down to the kitchen, warming up a bottle and sitting with him on the sofa in the living room. He tried to read the rhythm of Sarah’s footsteps upstairs—there was no telling what she was doing, but she was busy. Was she pacing the floor, angry with him because he’d let her down? Was she rethinking what she’d said? Was she doing the inevitable—packing up to leave? He wouldn’t blame her if she were, no matter how much it might hurt. She was a vibrant and beautiful young woman. Any man in the world would be a fool to say no to her, making Aiden a class A idiot. Still, he couldn’t lie to her. He couldn’t say he loved her when he wasn’t sure what it meant.
His loose plan of asking if she wanted to date, although tantamount to picking out china for him, would clearly not be enough for her. Not now.
I love you.
Yeah, I’m not sure. Can we just go out to dinner?
Starting on dramatically different pages wasn’t a recipe for romantic success. It was a setup for disaster. She’d already been hurt by the guy she worked for. He wouldn’t hurt her like that—he was different. So maybe he was back to where he’d thought he’d needed to be a few days ago—preserve the friendship and set aside romance.
* * *
Sarah was about to wear a rut in the hardwood floor of Aiden’s guest room. How could I have been so stupid?
When it came right down to it, Aiden was a case of unrequited love. And although it stung like crazy, at least Sarah knew what it was. The heartache ahead had a name. A label. She could say with confidence, I left because it was unrequited love. He wouldn’t say it back to me and I’d already said it to him, so I had to leave. How does a girl come back from that? Her friends would answer, You don’t come back from that. You leave. With your head held high and your dignity in place. And Sarah could smile and nod, knowing she’d done the right thing. Even when the moments came when she was crumbling to dust on the inside, she would know she’d had no choice.
Oliver was another matter. She’d already been destroyed by the notion of leaving him, precisely her fear. His place in her heart would always be there. Their relationship was quite the opposite of unrequited. It was the purest love she’d ever known. Aside from her family’s, Oliver’s love was the only love she’d never doubted. She saw it on Oliver’s face when she walked into his room in the morning or when he’d woken up from a nap. She felt it when he was upset and she held him close, the two of them clinging to each other. She lived and breathed their love when he laughed. Oliver’s love had filled her heart for a month and its absence would leave an unimaginable void, and there wasn’t anything to do about it. Oliver belonged with his father, and his father didn’t love her.
She slumped down on the bench at the foot of the bed. “Now what?” she asked aloud. She couldn’t go downstairs and talk about this more. It would only hurt. And she wasn’t going to try to convince Aiden that he loved her. She wanted him to just love her. She didn’t much like the idea of hiding out in her room until tomorrow. That left only one option, the one Aiden had so generously provided her with yesterday after deciding on the nanny—leave today.
She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Oliver, but the truth was that she’d never be ready. She could spend a lifetime preparing and it would never make it any easier.
Her phone beeped with a notification. She walked over to the bedside table and looked at the screen—it was an email, from Katie.
Sarah,
Despite the gaps in your financial forecast, Sylvia would still like to continue talks about acquiring Kama. Sylvia and I would like to come to Boston first thing Monday morning to tour your facility, look over designs for next year and discuss our options. Does 9 a.m. suit you? I know today’s Saturday, but I need to know ASAP.
Best,
Katie
How many signs could Sarah get from the universe before she stopped fighting? Aiden hadn’t returned I love you. Sylvia Hodge wanted her back in Boston, ready to talk business. And she’d set Oliver up for the life she wanted him to have. That meant Sarah needed to say goodbye, get on the next train and not look back.
She typed her reply.
Katie,
Thanks so much. Tell Sylvia I will see you both Monday morning. Looking forward to it.
Sarah
With no more time wasted on overthinking, she got out her suitcase and started packing. The sooner she got out, the better. Luckily, she didn’t have much, so it only took a few minutes. She then hopped in the shower, cleaned up and dressed in the same old sundress she’d worn the day she met Aiden. That seemed like a lifetime ago.
As she took each step down the stairs, the tears threatened to take over. She i
magined it was like trying to get out of the ocean when a storm has come up out of nowhere. The waves roll you back as you swim, the tide pulling just as hard, ocean spray in your face, but you keep going because you have to get to shore. You have to save yourself. For what, you aren’t sure. You only know that it’s your instinct to survive. You’ll do anything to make it.
She and her suitcase reached the landing. She raised the handle, and rolled it toward the foyer.
Aiden’s voice from the kitchen stopped her dead in her tracks. “You’re leaving?”
Oliver was playing on the floor with some plastic bowls and wooden spoons.
She bit into her lower lip. You can do this. “Yes. I have to. I got an email from Sylvia Hodge’s office. They need me in Boston ready to talk Monday morning. I need time to prepare. And you don’t need me anymore, so I might as well get out of your hair and let you and Oliver enjoy your weekend.”
“Sarah. We didn’t even finish talking about everything.” He came out from behind the kitchen island, but thankfully didn’t touch her. He instead crossed his arms. “We’re just going to leave it all unsaid?”
She forced a smile and an enthusiastic nod. She’d never felt less happy or eager to do anything. “I don’t think we need to talk about it anymore. I get it, Aiden. I do. I’m not going to try to get you to say things that aren’t in your heart. You didn’t do anything wrong.”