Black and White

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Black and White Page 10

by Ludivig, K. R.


  “You changed the subject!” I stated obviously.

  “Yeah its less awkward. And I don’t want to argue.”

  “Oh.” I stopped talking.

  “So what is your favorite thing to do?”

  “Play my French horn,” I said.

  “Why?” he asked as if I was crazy.

  “When I’m playing and no one is there to listen, it’s like I’m free to put any attitude into my music I want even if I didn’t write it. Weary or strong or majestic. I don’t have an instructor behind me saying that this note is too flat or this note isn’t long enough. I don’t have my classmates behind me playing so out of tune that it drove me nuts. Or the fact that the kid-in-front-of-me’s head is too big for his instrument. When no one’s listening, I can feel my music more so than when I’m with the entire ensemble. It sounds majestic, ravenous, and beautiful. I have such passion for my music. And since he and I broke up I’ve had more time to do that stuff by myself. However Zack keeps bugging me and won’t leave me the crap alone.” I stopped. He didn’t need to know about my Zack problems. And I mean he really didn’t need to know about them.

  “Who’s Zack?” he asked.

  “Just a kid.”

  He let the subject go and started something else.

  “What’s your favorite sport?”

  “Hockey!” I made him jump.

  “Wow.”

  “Sorry. I like snowboarding and figure skating too.”

  “Do you like any sport that doesn’t have to do with snow or ice?”

  “Yeah… I like soccer.”

  “Futbol,” he said with a bad Mexican accent.

  “We should go inside Katie.” He broke the silence.

  “Yes we should.” Why am I being proper?

  “You wanna come with me?” I asked.

  “Where are we going?” he asked.

  “Walk.” I said shortly.

  “Sure.” He said.

  Chapter Twelve: Deceived

  “Hey Katie. It’s me. Just wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekend? Just wondering. I haven’t seen you in a while.” said Chris’s voice on my voicemail. “End of messages.” Said the recording.

  That was the second but not last message from him in two days. They were both the same.

  “Katie,” Blake rolled over in bed next to me. “Are you alright?”

  “Of course,” I said. I had slept over at Blake’s house because Ella insisted that we lie to the Dormitory Advisor and say we were sleeping over at her house. Ella wanted Blake to do me badly. I laughed at her. I didn’t need it. I didn’t really want it either.

  At the same time, I wondered where Ella was. I got out of bed and walked outside Blake’s room with my phone. I found her half naked strewn across the floor with Blake’s roommate Jake. They had drunk so much last night I worried if she was still alive. I however limited myself to one drink. The last thing I had before going to bed was Advil to also limit my head ache in the morning. None of us at the party went to sleep until three, and my phone had me up at eight. Seriously I think Chris could have waited until after noon to call me. I trailed to the bathroom.

  Could you at least wait until after noon to call me?

  Please hang out with me tomorrow.

  Why so you can f- I stopped texting and back spaced. I retyped a nicer message. Okay. He deserved me to be mean to him; however, I didn’t know what he wanted.

  Thanks Katie.

  When I went back to Blake’s room he was dead asleep. I just smiled and crawled in bed with him. Blake and I hadn’t been officially dating. We had just hung out a lot the last month. Ella had gotten me to sleep over at his house a few times before this also, but no more than the fingers I had on one hand.

  I rolled over onto my right side and curled up into the blankets. Blake rolled over and put his arm around me. I thought of the way Chris used to do this. He would fit his nose in the crevice of my neck the way I loved it. He would kiss me and make me all better inside. I sighed and thought of Chris doing it instead of Blake.

  “Katie,” said Blake, getting my attention.

  “Yes?” I asked rolling over.

  When I was done facing him, Blake kissed me. I moaned in delight. I loved the way he kissed me.

  “Blake?” I stopped him.

  “Yeah?” he asked.

  “Aren’t you exhausted?”

  “Yes.” He agreed. “But I want you to like kissing me when I have icky breath in the morning.” He was still a tad drunk from last night and I wasn’t even sure I liked waking up next to him. But Ella was in the other room. And Blake was a gentleman and wouldn’t push me to do anything unless I wanted to.

  “Blake I like kissing you when you have icky morning and alcohol breath, but I don’t want you to do anything you wouldn’t do without the proper amount of sleep.”

  “Oh, my baby sounds so smart in the morning when no one else’s brain is working.” Yes he was still drunk. He only called me his baby when he was drunk.

  “I’m going to get a shower, Blake, OK?” said Ella coming into his room.

  “Mmm ‘kay.” He said dozing back off into dreamland.

  Ella yawned and I fell to the pillow next to Blake, dreaming once more.

  Katie wasn’t answering my texts. I mean, I didn’t blame her I was an asshole but it had been a month since the break up. Wouldn’t she be over that by now? But maybe that was it. She was over it, over us, over me. Maybe she didn’t like me anymore. Maybe she was just sleeping though. Katie never slept this late but hell it could happen.

  Katie? I text her?

  UGH what? She text back.

  I wanted to talk about us.

  When?

  Now.

  Over text?

  I guess.

  Why?

  I feel like an asshole.

  You should, said a voice oldly like my mother’s inside my head.

  Okay? She said back.

  I want to see you.

  What about Heather? I could picture the painful look on her face when she texted it. I could even imagine tears running down her face. But before I could reply Katie said, Are you going to cheat on her again?

  No, um… we broke up.

  Was she too young for you? Katie asked. It seemed like she was mocking me. She did have the right for the way I treated her.

  Actually the whole age thing got to me.

  She didn’t text me back.

  Katie?

  Yeah?

  Please don’t be a jerk.

  I’m not I’m just asking you questions. She denied.

  Okay? Now I sounded like her text messages. I’m sorry. I added.

  I forgive you. I wasn’t sure I really deserved that from her. Katie loved me; I loved her too but there wasn’t really much we had in common. We came from two completely different worlds. But that never stopped us before. What the hell? Why was I being this way? I had never made an excuse to not be with Katie before?

  I love you. I said meaning it but couldn’t seem to think I didn’t want the words back. I didn’t deserve them.

  Okay.

  That hurt. I had never once not gotten an ‘I love you’ back. I turned to Josh sitting in the passenger seat to show him the message I had gotten in return.

  “That’s brutal man.” He said. “I’m sorry.”

  All I could do was sigh.

  I was walking to the Wal-Mart near by the school. The sun was nice, the birds were singing, and I needed tampons so I went to the store. The sunlight danced off my glittery skin from the lotion I put on this morning. My hair was flowing perfectly in the wind and I was in perfect shape to go for a walk.

  As I was walking, the silver McLaren F1 pulled up beside me. I was launched at and drug into the tiny tinted-windowed car. My mouth was immediately duct tapped and my hands cuffed with his father’s cuffs from the bedroom. Zack sat beside me laughing, his friends in the back seat. Something more than sex was on Zack’s mind and he was determined to get it.
/>   “Hi Katie.” Said his deranged vocal chords. “How’s your boyfriend Chris? Oh yeah. That’s right. You’re not together. He’s dating a freshman. How wonderful he wont come to your rescue and Marcus can’t find me either.” He laughed in that evil Captain Hook laugh and I could smell the strong scent of Jack Daniel’s mixed with Coke on his breath. Ugh. Gross.

  I was obviously cuffed and tapped so I couldn’t defend myself. I was going to be raped and Chris was going to be able to do nothing about it. How could he know that I was walking on the street and Zack just found and stalked me there? How could he know that Zack was going to rape me after he found me? How could he know anything at this point?

  When we got to the place, Zack lead his followers inside who had me by the arms who seemed to make me struggle and squirm uncomfortably. It was a cement room with a wall, a bed and a sink with a closet and some curtains. I imagined this used to be a bedroom but someone moved out and took all wall art and photographs with them.

  He pulled my arm and pushed me over onto the bed where I bounced.

  “Since Chris won’t be showing up anytime soon, I’m going to take my time. And I’m going to enjoy this.” He laughed again. Tears filled my eyes but I refused to let him see me cry. That would only make this more enjoyable for him. But he saw them and BAM! Right across the side of my face. It was instantly hot and painful. I whimpered in pain giving him exactly what he wanted.

  “Don’t cry. It’s pathetic and unattractive.” He said. Maybe it would get him to leave me alone instead of hitting me. Then I got kicked, hard in the leg.

  “Open your legs! Do it!” he kicked me again. I wasn’t a pussy. I could handle a ton of pain. I could deal with the physical pain long enough to await a savior, even if it took a lifetime to save me. The next time when he kicked me, I kicked him back. This was harder than I wanted it to be. But I was making it harder for myself. He kicked me in the rib cage. I heard the crunch and crack. But the bruising wouldn’t be there for a couple days. Right now I was feeling the bruises that wouldn’t be there until tomorrow.

  I set my focus on something other than the pain. Across the room his friends were setting up a video camera and directors’ chairs. Was I really going to have to relive this shit? This life really was hell. Just put me out of my misery now. His friends were living along with Zack, enjoying every minute that he tortured the shit out of me. At least there wasn’t any blood yet. Yet. I told myself. There wasn’t any blood yet. But I did notice that they were wearing black shirts with Nimrod and Lynard Skynard on them. I was smart enough to pay attention to details even if I did look like a wimp.

  “Open them,” Zack said, turning my attention to him again. He had moved to the other side and was kicking my other leg. My jeans were dirty from his shoes. So was my shirt from him dragging me around everywhere. I could also guarantee that my hair was messy too. I was probably going to be raped and killed and I was worried about my hair and clothing.

  “Goddamit Katie! Listen to me!” he was getting desperate because I wasn’t listening.

  No. I said inaudibly. I used my left leg to cross over my body and kick him in the face breaking his nose. He yelped with pain. I saw blood. His blood spilt by my hand. I could defend myself. The next one came and I was expecting it. I was expecting it because I knew I would get hit if I tried to defend myself. He was going to jab his foot at my face to try and break my nose and retaliate. I rolled to the side and got more swing with the same leg. One swing he was expecting this time. He grabbed my leg and stepped on the lower half with his heal just barely making it crack but not break. I knew he didn’t have the balls to actually break my leg. Then he punched me in the face.

  I heard the snap before I felt it this time. Pain instantly came to my face. I felt the sticky warm liquid leave my nose and drain onto my duct taped lips. I couldn’t spit it out because I laid my head back on the mattress. I felt my entire face getting hot, then as if it were broken, tingly. I couldn’t breathe.

  Then everything went black.

  Marcus and I had looked for her for over an hour. She wasn’t answering her phone and that wasn’t like Katie. Then I was tipped off by Zack’s friends who were really just in on it for the money. Because Zack didn’t have friends, he had accomplices. One of them texted me and told me where she was because not only did they not think it was right, they knew that beating her the way he probably was, was wrong. She was being tortured to death, raped and beaten. I was enraged. No one could lay a hand on my baby and get away with it.

  When I found them, they were taking the duct tape off Katie. It was when that I saw the tape over her beautiful lips that I realized what they did to her. Marcus didn’t bring his gun with him because he knew that it upset Katie just as much as it did me and he didn’t like be unarmed but he had some mad skills without the gun. Marcus also loved Katie as much as I did, and he wasn’t going down without an ass kicking. Marcus sent Zack’s friends running the instant they saw him. He also wanted to find Zack and torture him slowly. I agreed and wanted the exact same thing.

  I ran to the bedside and slowly tore off the tape from her mouth. Her eyes fell open, she looked scared. I touched her face and put my forehead to hers. Hot tears streamed down my face. This was nothing like I had ever felt before. This was my baby girl torn up like this. She was so messed up. Her hair was so awfully messy and her clothes were dirty from being kicked around by my retarded ass cousin. Her skin felt cold.

  “Katie,” I swallowed my tears and hoped to God that she wasn’t dead or close to it so I could move her to the emergency room. If she was dead, I would kill Zack right now. I hated his guts for all the millions he was worth at this moment. She groggily looked up in my direction.

  “I’m here Katie.” My hands were on her beautiful but torn up face. She was scared. “It’s ok. I’m here to take you to the hospital. Come on Baby Girl, let’s take you home.”

  “Chris.” Said Marcus behind me.

  “Yeah,” I asked, never taking my eyes off Katie.

  “He’s out, let’s go.”

  I immediately snatched up Katie and took her in my arms to the back seat of the neon where I could lay her down. If she lived through this, she was my Katie forever.

  The room was warm but not humid, breezy but not cold, and perfect because I could see his angel’s face in my visual cortex. We were at the hospital.

  “Katie,” he sounded. He was right there by my side, never leaving me.

  “Did you-? Did he-? Am I-?” I couldn’t form a complete sentence.

  “Katie what’s wrong?” he asked. “Can’t you speak?”

  “I can speak.” I calmed down seeing him there right next to me. “You saved me.”

  “Again.” He laughed. “I have never had a girl friend that’s as breakable as you. You’re just like Bella.” He made a reference to a character from the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer. No offense to her as an author or anything, just everyone is so obsessed with the saga that it’s annoying. Personally I loved the books but as Chris would say:

  “Seriously, Shut the fuck up about Twilight.” We said it at the same time.

  “You’re here, you’re safe.” He said. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  “I thought I was going to lose you.”

  “Did he…. Did he rape me?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. They did a rape kit but they won’t tell me anything, I’m not a blood relative or married to you.”

  “Will you go get a doctor?” I asked above normal speaking tone. “Ouch.” I tried to put pressure on my nose because it hurt to yell.

  He disappeared and a few moments later he appeared with a doctor in the room.

  “Doctor Hedenstrom, miss,” said the female doctor with the boyish hair cut. I couldn’t see her very well but I could tell her hair was cut short because it was a thousand and one shades darker than her skin tone. “I was the physician that helped with the rape kit.”

  “Did he?” she asked.
/>   She paused a moment, giving me the crazy look from hell and looking over her results.

  “No he didn’t. But you’re pretty bruised up,” she said. “It wasn’t…” She stopped, motioning towards Chris, and I was appalled.

  “No! He’s the one that saved me. He and his friend Marcus both saved me! You don’t know anything, leave them alone!” I overreacted. I was pretty sure that wasn’t the way to handle it but I had an excuse due to trauma.

  “Who was it Katie?” the doctor asked.

  “Zackary Michaels.” I said. I felt like a little kid tattling. Hell, I probably looked like a little kid too. “He was my parents latest suitor. It didn’t exactly work out.” I explained.

  “Katie!” said the nurse coming in. “You’re awake.”

  I just smiled subtly. “We’ve come to re-tape your nose.” She pulled out the medical tape. Flashes of being in the McLaren went through my mind along with his friends and the duct tape. I flashed back to the scene and screamed. Chris came running it. I turned my head painfully, to look at something else.

  “Katie, hey. It’s ok baby girl,” he tried to calm me down. “Tessa’s just going to tape your nose.”

  I had tears running down my face. “Katie it’s ok,” he said. “I’ll be right here the whole time.” He put his right hand on my cheek and stroked it with his thumb. I took a deep breath. I held his hand while she exchanged the bandages.

  “Stay with her,” commanded Hedenstrom. “Don’t let her be alone.”

  Chris agreed in an instant. He stroked my hair and put me back into REM sleep.

  I was there until she woke up again. Katie looked so tired and beat up. She had bruises everywhere. I was going to kill Zack for laying a hand on her.

  “Katie’s mom is coming she was just at home when we contacted her.” I heard a voice outside the door. It was male. Was it her dad? It sounded younger than that.

  “I came from work to see her,” said the other voice, this one younger yet.

  “Blake?” said Katie. Blake? Who was Blake? She was delirious. I wasn’t Blake; I was Chris. What the fuck?

 

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